A trace of green
by Keilfleckbaerbling
Summary: A few weeks after "White Lines" (6x11). Jane and Lisbon are still adjusting to their new jobs and to working with each other again, when suddenly everything turns upside down. Faced with her career, her freedom and even her life at risk, Lisbon has to outsmart an old adversary, whilst the system she used to believe in turns against her.
1. Prologue

A/N: This is my first attempt at a longer Mentalist fanfiction. I'd appreciate feedback very much (also critical reviews). This story could probably be considered Lisbon centric, but Jane will play a major role in it.

Takes place shortly after the reboot and goes AU after 6x11. (No CBI killer storyline and no Pike).

* * *

Prologue

Lisbon climbed the few steps up to the front door. She couldn't really explain why, but she had a very bad feeling about this.

"Agent Lisbon?" The officer shook her hand as she nodded. "Thanks for coming. It's probably nothing, but I thought better be safe." He ducked under the yellow crime scene tape and Lisbon followed him, trying to ignore the knot in her stomach.

"You said it looks like a suicide?" she asked him.

"Yeah, we got the call from the neighbour next door. They were supposed to meet for a run in the park and when she didn't open the door she got worried."

They turned around a corner into the living room and Lisbon felt her blood freeze. It was as if someone had turned back time.

Amanda Shaw was hanging from a chandelier like lamp in the middle of the room. Clad in a white morning robe, a bed linen used as a rope.

Just this wasn't Amanda Shaw.

"Her name's Linda Shaw," the officer said, "she's 26 and from Sacramento. Does she look familiar to you, do you know her?"

Lisbon heard his voice only faintly, as if from far away. She couldn't avert her eyes from the scene in front of her. The resemblance was remarkable.

"Agent Lisbon?"

She shook her head slowly, it took her all the effort to turn towards him.

"No, I don't know her, but I knew her sister, Amanda Shaw. What was she doing in Austin?" She forced herself to look at him.

"Her parents couldn't tell. Apparently she rented the house just a month ago, fully furnished. No one in her family even knew that she was in Texas." He shrugged and walked over the coffee table.

Lisbon followed him, her eyes fixated on the open laptop on the small table.

"I thought you might want to see this, that's why we decided to call you."

A single document was open and it only contained one line of text.

 _Agent Teresa Lisbon_

"You knew her sister, is she dead?" the officer asked again.

"Yes," Lisbon answered, her voice firm despite the tumult of feelings inside her. "She was a murder victim in a case I worked on back in California."

"Do you have any idea what this could be about?" He pointed towards the screen.

Lisbon took a deep breath. "Maybe."

She closed her eyes for a moment. "Did she leave a suicide note? Maybe per E-mail?"

The officer looked at her, astonished. "Yeah, how did you know that? As a matter of fact, she mentions you in the e-mail-"

Lisbon interrupted him before he could finish his sentence ."I've seen this before." She took out her phone. "That's how we found her sister. But Amanda Shaw didn't commit suicide, it was murder."

"Murder? You think it could be the same here?" The officer turned around and stared at Linda Shaw, as if he saw the body for the first time.

"The autopsy will tell." Lisbon dialed a number on her phone. "Could you send me a copy of the files?", she asked the officer, while waiting for someone to pick up.

"Hey. It's Lisbon. I need a case file from a few years back, " she nodded as she turned around and left the house, "Yeah, it might be a bit more difficult than that. It's an old file from the CBI, you think you can get that for me, Wylie?"


	2. Getting used to

A/N: Thanks a lot for all the reviews! I appreciate them very much.

* * *

 **Getting used to**

One month later…

It was late and Lisbon stifled a yawn, as she read the e-mail for the 100th time. She couldn't let go of it. Part of her was still convinced that there was more to this than it seemed… but the longer she thought about it, the more she doubted her own instincts. Was she maybe just tormenting herself? Linda blamed her for her sister's death in her suicide note. She hadn't needed that note to be reminded of that.

Lisbon squeezed the bridge of her nose. She could literally feel a headache crawl up her neck. With a sigh she leaned back in her chair. Maybe that was the reason why she couldn't let go of this. Accepting Linda Shaw's death as a suicide meant acknowledging that her past actions caused another death.

Lisbon knew that rationally this wasn't strictly true. It didn't stop her from feeling that way, though. If the death of her only sister had in the end driven Linda to take her life…who else was to blame, if not her?

"What are you looking at?" Lisbon visible flinched as Jane stepped beside her. She hadn't heard him coming.

"Nothing." She hastily closed the document and turned in her chair to face him.

She saw the frown on his face, but he didn't say a word. Instead he sat down on his couch, taking a sip from his white cup. Sometimes it still almost felt surreal to Lisbon. Seeing him here, in Austin, on his couch. She'd hardly believed her eyes a few weeks back when they brought the couch in. She hadn't dared to ask him what he'd done to finally make Fischer give in.

Fischer… another thing she wasn't yet used to. They'd just started to get along, when a sudden illness in the family made Fischer transfer to Seattle. Exactly a week ago they'd given her a small farewell party. To Lisbon it seemed like yesterday. Which might be because they'd been drowned in work the last few days and being one person short meant more to do for the rest of them.

"Why are you still here," Jane asked her, taking another sip, "We closed the case. You should be home, get some rest." Lisbon looked at him. He was wearing one of his island shirts, as she used to call them, the sleeves rolled up. Something else she just couldn't get used to, the same was true for his beard.

"I had to finish up some paperwork," she lied. It pained her how easy it had become to hide the truth from him. How the hell had that happened?

"Ok," Jane murmured. She knew he saw through her lie, didn't even pretend to believe her…but he didn't insist on the truth. Not in the way he used to back at the CBI. It was ridiculous. Sometimes she missed him as much as she had in Washington, despite them being in the same room together. Things had changed, they'd changed and ever since he came back, she felt a distance between them, that hadn't been there before. Or no, that wasn't exactly true. It only had started the moment she officially began working for the FBI. Nothing of that tension had been there when he'd hugged her, just a few doors from where they were sitting now. She closed her eyes at the memory. It didn't make it easer, that she was pretty sure she was at least partly responsible for this awkwardness between them.

Lisbon stood up and walked over to the couch to sit down beside him. She was tired of lying. She probably would regret this the next day, but for now she didn't care.

This case was destroying her and she needed to get this of her mind.

"I wasn't working," she said, without looking at him, but she nevertheless could feel him sat more upright. She could almost sense him looking at her, his eyes fixated on her; patently waiting.

"Not one of our cases, at least." She stole a short glance at him. As she'd expected his whole attention was focused on her, in an intensity, which only Jane could do.

"You're talking about the suicide of Linda Shaw?" he didn't hesitate for a moment and Lisbon couldn't hide her surprise. "You knew?"

She shook her head. "No, forget it. I should have known. Did Wylie tell you?"

Jane smiled at her apologetically. "Don't be angry at him, he was worried."

She sighed again. "Who else knows about this?"

"Just me, unless of course you told somebody else."

She shook her head. "How much do you know? I never told Wylie more than her name and that she's connected to one of our old cases."

For the past four weeks she'd always thought of it as her case and she couldn't believe how good it felt to finally acknowledge that she hadn't been alone working on it back in Sacramento.

"That's all he told me." Jane put his empty cup on the little table beside him. "But I had a look at the file."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked him and regretted it the moment the words left her mouth.

"I-" Jane began, but she interrupted him. "No, never mind…" she avoided looking at him. What right had she to ask him this? She should have spoken to him, and Cho for that matter, the moment she'd returned from the crime scene.

"The coroner classified it as suicide, didn't he?"

Lisbon nodded. "Yes. The marks on her neck are consistent with a death by hanging. They found no evidence that she'd been strangled beforehand…" she hesitated for moment and he finished for her, "…as they did with Amanda." A short nod again.

"Which still doesn't exclude that she maybe didn't do it entirely voluntarily?" he asked.

"No. There are however no signs of a struggle. You would expect her to fight back."

Jane agreed with her. "Unless of course they drugged her first." - "They found traces of tranquillisers in her blood, but she had a prescription for them. And it wouldn't seem out of the ordinary if she took some before she ended her life. In short, there's no way to prove one theory or the other. The most obvious conclusion is that she did it herself, and that's what the officer handling the case wrote down. "

She rubbed her forehead in an attempt to keep her headache at bay.

"They found no evidence of a break-in and there was no DNA on the bedlinen used as a rope, besides her own." She continued, feeling that it helped to speak her theories out aloud for once.

"If someone did this, they were good. Very good."

Jane smiled at her, "I see, you were pretty thorough in your analysis. Why do you even need me?"

She looked up at him and she didn't know what he saw in her eyes, but his smile faded.

"What does your gut tell you?" he asked her more seriously.

Lisbon groaned, "I don't know what to think. All the evidence points towards suicide, but I just can't shake of this bad feeling."

She looked up at him. "It's just…" she stopped, suddenly embarrassed and struggling to find the right words.

"You're afraid that your feelings of guilt - of unjustified guilt to be precise, cloud your judgement?"

Lisbon nodded, to equals part annoyed and relieved that he was still able to read her.

"Yeah, I guess." Her voice was hardly louder than whisper.

"What should I do now?" she asked him.

"I think what we should do is have another look at the file, and at the original files in the Amanda Shaw case."

Lisbon shook her head. "Forget it, I tried."

A frown appeared between Jane's eyes. "What do you mean?"

"With the whole Blake Association thing, they locked all our old case files. Wylie tried everything, there's no way they're granting us access to the online copies. Especially not because of a closed case about a suicide."

Jane played with the ring on his finger. "What about the hard copies?"

"They're in Sacramento," she told him confused.

"I guessed as much. I just thought it might be easier to get access to them."

Lisbon still didn't understand where he was going with this. "Wylie mentioned something along that line. They're apparently still in the archive rooms of the former CBI building."

Jane stood up. "So we could access them there." - "Jane, we're not flying to Sacramento to break into the former CBI building!"

She knew the expression on his face and it usually meant trouble. "With Fischer gone, there's no way Abbott gives me a few days off. Not even talking about the two of us. Besides, I'm not sure the files would be of any help anyhow."

Jane sighed and Lisbon wondered whether he'd actually been looking forward to a trip to California. She definitely hadn't expected that.

"Fine, if you insist on being a spoilsport, we'll just have to do what we can with the file we already have."

He held out his hand for her. "We'll do it first thing in the morning. But not now. It's late and you need to go home and get some sleep."

She didn't protest as he pulled her on her feet.

"You're probably right," she said as she grabbed her purse. She hadn't been sleeping well the last weeks.

"I always am," he grinned at her and for a short moment everything was back to normal. Gone was the slight awkwardness that seemed to surround them whenever they were alone lately.

"Thank you, Jane," she said to him and she meant it from her heart. Talking to him had made her feel better than she had ever since she entered that house four weeks ago.


	3. Coffee

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading and commenting the last chapter. It means a lot to me!

* * *

 **Coffee**

Jane entered the bullpen the next morning, expecting to be the first. It turned out he was wrong. Cho was sitting at his desk and he seemed similarly surprised to see him.

"You're early, today," he remarked drily. Looking back at his screen, he added, "You are aware that we closed the case yesterday?"

Jane grinned at him,"Yeah, I think I remember that. Probably because I was the one that solved it."

He sat down at Lisbon's desk and started to look for the file about Linda Shaw's case. It didn't take him long to locate it, even if she'd tried to hide it under a stack of empty report files that needed filling after each solved case. He felt a short pang of sadness as he realised that she probably used exactly those papers to prevent him from accidentally finding the file. They both knew that these would be the last papers he'd ever take from her desk. He shook his head at his own thoughts. He was overreacting now. It was equally likely that she used the first ting that fell into her hands to cover up the file; it didn't matter now anyhow. She talked to him yesterday, so surely she wouldn't mind if he had look at it now.

He flipped through the pages, but there was nothing in it he hadn't seen himself in the file he'd gotten his hands on two weeks back. The only addition was the finale autopsy report and Lisbon had given him quite a nice summary about that the day before.

He threw the file on the desk and leaned back in her chair. A new approach was needed. The answer didn't lie in those files.

He turned Lisbon's computer on and the familiar sound as the system booted up gained him Cho's attention.

"What do you think you're doing?" the other agent asked him.

Jane shrugged. "What does it look like? I just have to check something and I'm sure Lisbon won't mind."

Cho stood up and walked over to him, hands crossed in front of his chest.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

The login screen showed up and Jane pondered a moment before he entered the password. The familiar waive of pain washed over him, as he didn't manage it on the first attempt. He sighed and tried again; this time with more success. There had been a time when there hadn't been the slightest doubt that he'd figure out her password instantly; now he needed two attempts and it had easily also could have been three or four.

"Are you listening to me, Jane?" Cho was still standing in front of Lisbon's desk and glared at him.

"No." Jane answered, while screening Lisbon's desktop for anything that could be related to the case. She must had a file with all her personal notes and as long as she wasn't here to talk with him, that was the closest he got to getting her input.

Cho still hadn't moved and Jane felt obliged to look up at him. "Is there anything else?"

The other agent hesitated for a moment.

"You sure Lisbon is fine with you poking around in her stuff?" He didn't say it directly, but it was obvious to Jane that he didn't think Lisbon would appreciate his behaviour.

"She's my partner and she never minded back at the CBI."

Another short pause, telling Jane more than he wanted to know.

"That was a long time ago, Jane."

Cho returned to his own desk and left Jane staring miserably at the screen. He'd had loved to laugh at Cho's remark and dismiss it as a misinterpretation, but he couldn't. He wasn't that sure himself, whether Lisbon still considered him her partner. Something almost too painful to even take into consideration. Most of the times he chose not to think about it. Denial was his new best companion.

The "bling" of the elevator snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked up in the hope to see Lisbon; in vain. Abbott walked by the bullpen on the way to his office and wished them a good morning. He didn't seem surprised to find him already in the office, nor did he comment on him using Lisbon's computer.

Jane focused again on the task at hand. A single document in the lower left corner gained his attention. It's name was the letter e, which striked him as very "unlisbon"-like. Lisbon liked to be precise and the fact that she didn't call the document by a more telling name, made his alarm bells go up.

He opened the file and immediately recognised what it was; Linda Shaw's suicide note. He'd already wondered why it hadn't been part of the file, but very likely her parents had required to keep it out of there and considering that her death was ruled a suicide, there was no reason to keep it officially on record.

The note wasn't particularly long. Jane furrowed his eyebrows as he skimmed the text. Pronouns were used sparsely and the whole thing seemed detached and unemotional to him… it didn't feel like a suicide note, less so one written by a young woman.

The few lines were addressed at her parents and friends, based on the opening sentence. However, most of the text was clearly directed at Lisbon. Whoever wrote this, blamed her for Amanda's death and didn't hold back on accusations.

"Jane?"

He looked up and a smile crossed his face. He'd been so immersed in the note and his thoughts, that he hadn't heard her.

"Good morning, Lisbon." He stood up and pointed for her to sit down instead.

"I thought we shouldn't waste any time, so I already had a look at the file." Maybe it was his smile, or the fact that he was helping her, but her expression softened.

"Morning, Jane." She walked around the table and sat down, facing him and not her computer. He noted that she looked exhausted, like she had for weeks. He'd seen the note now and he knew better than anyone else what guilt could do to a person.

"You alright?" he asked, leaning against her desk.

"Sure," she seemed slightly irritated by his question and he made a mental note never to ask her again, before she had her first coffee.

"What's going on, here?" For the second time that morning Jane was faced with a questioning Cho. He threw a glance at Lisbon, it was her decision whether she wanted to share this or not. He thought it a good idea. Something was clearly off with this case and one more pair of eyes could only be of help.

"Morning, Cho." Lisbon avoided looking at her colleague, making it even more obvious that there was something going on.

"We don't have a case and Jane is neither in the break room, nor taking a nap on his couch," Cho stated the facts.

"Hey!" Jane pretended to look offended.

"You don't seem surprised, which means you know what's going on, Lisbon." Cho continued, ignoring his interjection. Lisbon looked at him as if for help. Jane hold her gaze, but said nothing. This was her decision.

"We…" Lisbon obviously was looking for some kind of excuse, but Cho only lifted his eyebrows at her weak attempt. Jane couldn't prevent a grin as Lisbon sighed and handed the case file to Cho. No one said a word for a few minutes, while Cho skimmed the reports.

"When did this happen?"

"About four weeks ago," Lisbon answered.

"Four weeks, and you talk to me now?" Cho looked both at her and him accusingly.

Jane lifted his hand in self-defence. "I've only learned about his yesterday." At least officially that was true.

Lisbon glared at him, but he could see that she wasn't really angry. "Thanks for the help," she murmured.

Cho shook his head in disbelief, before he focused again on the file in his hands.

"Did you check on Volker?"

Straight to the point, that was Cho. Jane couldn't but admire him for it.

"Yes," he replied in unison with Lisbon. She looked at him questioningly, clearly taken by surprise. He just shrugged. "That's the first thing I did , the moment Wylie mentioned this." He was surprised that this even needed an explanation.

Lisbon just continued to stare at him for a moment, before she seemed to remember Cho.

"He's still in prison," she explained.

Cho finished flipping through the autopsy report and handed the file back to Lisbon. After a moment of silence, she asked, "So... what's your take?"

"Hard to tell. Could be suicide or a vey clever murder."

If the situation hadn't been so serious Jane'd had laughed. Cho needed five minutes to come to the same conclusion they had. Instead he decided to share what he found out this morning so far.

"I'm more and more inclined to think it's murder," Jane said slowly, observing Lisbon's reaction.

"Why suddenly so sure?" Lisbon asked him.

"It just doesn't add up. Her suicide note doesn't match what I've read about Linda so far. In fact, it's very uncommon for any suicide note."

Lisbon turned around and looked at her computer. "You've read the note." It wasn't a question, so Jane decided to ignore it, despite or maybe even more so because she clearly sounded annoyed.

"There's too much anger in it, even hate. Anger usually doesn't lead to suicide; desperation does, hopelessness… sadness. Furthermore she talks about her sister, but I don't sense any love, any deep connection hidden in those lines." He finished his speech with a wave of his hand. "It just doesn't feel right."

"You read the note?" Lisbon glared at him. "Who the hell gave you the right to use my computer?"

Jane didn't have to look at Cho to sense the _"I told you so"_ -expression on the other agent's face.

"There was nothing new in the file and you asked me to help you, so that's what I tried to do."

He obviously said the wrong thing, he could literally see her anger rise.

"I've asked nothing from you. And I clearly didn't invite you to rifle through my personal things. If I wanted you to read the note, I'd had given it to you."

Jane only too well remembered a discussion they'd had on an airplane a few months back. Had he again mistakenly assumed to know what she wanted?

He swallowed. "I'm sorry, Lisbon. I was not aware that the note was such a secret. I was just trying to help."

He probably would make it worse, but he couldn't remain silent.

"I didn't rifle through your personal stuff, though," he deliberately used her own words. "Because this," pointing at her screen, " is not a personal note, Lisbon. It's part of a case, be it suicide or murder. The accusations in the letter are not true. You know that, don't you?"

He noted how she tensed at his words. He could clearly see the pain shimmering through the anger in her eyes.

"You are not responsible for Amanda's death, Lisbon. Volker killed her, not you." He spoke softly, never taking his eyes of her.

"Really, Jane. You want to go there?" She clenched her fists. "You of all people are telling me that I'm not supposed to feel guilty?"

She didn't raise her voice, on the contrary; she spoke dangerously calm.

"Volker did kill Amanda, so it's not my fault. But you tormented yourself for years, because of what Red John did and that's ok? You're a hypocrite, Jane!"

Her words made his breath catch in his throat. He'd cornered her, he should have expected something like that…but it hurt nevertheless and he didn't even attempt to hide it.

Lisbon seemed sincerely shocked at her own words. "Jane…" she began, but he shook his head.

"I think I need a tea," he said and left for the break room, not looking back.

* * *

Lisbon buried her face in her hands. All her anger was gone and instead she felt horribly. A slight cough reminded her that she wasn't alone. She sat more upright. She could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. The whole situation would have been embarrassing enough without Cho. His presence made it ten times worse.

"I shouldn't have said that", Lisbon murmured, more to herself than to him.

Cho nodded: "No, you shouldn't have."

She looked at him and sighed. "I guess I should go and talk to him."

"Sounds like a good idea. " A short pause. "He just meant well, Lisbon."

She closed her eyes for a moment. "I know."

So why the hell did she have to react the way she did? She stood up and followed Jane into the break room.

He filled the kettle with water and didn't look up as she entered.

"Hey," she put her hands on the smooth surface of the kitchen counter in he middle of the room.

"Hi," Jane turned towards her, he'd clearly expected her.

She looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry, Jane. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's ok. I understand," he smiled at her, but she could see that it didn't reach his eyes.

"No, seriously, you were only trying to help me." She suddenly felt very tired. "It wasn't your fault, I overreacted. It's just…" she hesitated, but as she lifted her eyes to him and saw how hopefully he looked at her, she found the courage to continue.

"The last weeks were difficult and I haven't slept well in ages-"

"It's ok, Lisbon. You don't have to explain anything to me." He put his hand on her's and she involuntarily hold her breath. It was just a short touch, and she could hardly believe how strongly it affected her. They hadn't touched in ages and she only now realised how much she missed this. He used to touch her all the time back at the CBI. Accidentally brushing past her, guiding her trough a door with his hand at the small of her back…

"I made you coffee," Jane said that moment and stepped away to reach for the mug behind him on the counter. It was such a small gesture, nothing really, but it almost made her tear up. She'd been nothing but horribly to him the last weeks and he still thought about her.

She took the steaming mug out of his hands, not daring to look at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Lisbon."

They both turned around as they heard something. Abbott stood in the door frame. "May I have a word, Lisbon?" He looked at Jane and then back to her.

"Alone?"


	4. To brew tea

A/N: Thanks a lot for all your comments and for reading this story. This means the world to me. I apologise for the fact that the story is quite Lisbon and Jane heavy, I hope you'll fine with that. The story is mainly about them and on top of that I feel more comfortable writing those two, instead of Cho or Wylie. However, I'll try my best not to neglect the rest of the team completely. I didn't find any access to Fischer, that's why I decided to get rid of her from the beginning, sorry for that.

* * *

 **To brew tea**

Lisbon heavily leaned against the sink in the ladies room. She closed her eyes, trying to keep calm. This was just routine, nothing else. Abbott had said it himself. She turned the tap on and sprinkled some cold water on her face.

She was only since a few months with the FBI and now this. As if it wasn't bad enough that half the people probably still thought she got the job only because of Jane. Lisbon took a paper towel and dried her face off.

It was just a questioning, no formal hearing or anything like that. They weren't investigating against her; at least not yet. Lisbon tried to find comfort in the fact that Abbott had been very nice and assured her of his support. They'd come a long way since she first met him when he'd dismantled the CBI. She didn't think he'd had a particularly good opinion of her back then, but she was fairly convinced that it had changed in the meanwhile. Partly also because Abbott grew to appreciate and enjoy Jane's style of work. Her weak spot when it came to Jane had likely been what lowered her esteem in his eyes in the first place.

Lisbon straightened her jacket and took a deep breath, before leaving the restroom.

* * *

Jane took a sip of tea and sat down on his couch. He grimaced at the bitterness and put the cup down with a sigh. He'd been so occupied worrying about what Abbot might want from Lisbon, that he'd let the tea brew for too long.

"Where's Lisbon?" Cho was back at his desk, rummaging through some files. Jane stood up and walked over to him.

"Abbott wanted a word with her."

Cho still didn't look at him. "You two alright again?"

Jane took a pen from the desk. "Sure." He flipped the pen around his hand. It was no longer only the two of them in the bullpen. While he'd been failing to brew a cup of tea, Wylie had arrived. Jane left Cho to his files and walked to Wylie.

"Hey," he greeted the younger agent. "Could you do me a favour, Wylie?"

The young agent hesitated for a moment, which made Jane grin. After a few instances in which it turned out that his orders hadn't been approved by Abbott, despite his assurances, Wylie had become careful whenever he approached him with something.

"Yeahh..." he replied slowly, "what's it about, Jane?"

Jane pulled an empty chair to Wylie's desk and sat down beside him.

"I need you to get me everything you can about Linda Shaw's last days. Where did she go, who did she call, what did she use her credit cards for. I need to know everything."

Wylie looked around, as if he was afraid that someone might overhear them.

"I'm not sure I'm allowed to do that. It's not really our case, isn't it?"

Jane felt a tad bad for the young agent. There was a certain risk that they might get caught and as Wylie had put it nicely, they definitely didn't have the clearance to do this.

"Meh. As if that would have stopped us before." He looked at Wylie. "I need to know what happened. And don't you think Linda and her family have a right to know if she was murdered? This was officially ruled a suicide, if not us, no one is going to look into this and a murderer could walk free."

Wylie swallowed and Jane knew that he almost had him. "I'm worried, Wylie. If this was really a murder, this means someone is attacking Lisbon and I won't rest until I know the truth. Are you gonna help me?"

Wylie sighed, but nodded. "Ok, but we have to be careful. I can't do it from here, that's too dangerous. I'll check into it from my place."

Jane grinned. "You're going to hack into the FBI server and that's less dangerous than doing it here?" He pointed at the screen in front of him. Wylie nodded, after again making sure that no one was close by.

Jane patted him on the shoulder. "That's my man. Thanks."

He returned to his couch and his cold tea. Lisbon's desk was still empty. He hadn't been lying before. He was worried. Part of him was hoping that his intuitions were wrong, that Linda actually had committed suicide. It would be tragic, but at least it would be over with that. He was afraid of the implications if it wasn't suicide. What if this was something more, what if someone was targeting Lisbon? She was supposed to be safe, now. This wasn't supposed to happen, not after everything they'd gone through.

Jane eyed his tea cup, but before he could decide whether it was worth to give it another try, Lisbon returned. The moment he saw her, he couldn't have cared less about tea. She looked exhausted. He'd noted it before, but it even seemed more pronounced now. He suddenly felt the urge to take her away from all of this and make her sleep for 12 hours, at least.

A small smile crossed his face at that thought. She probably would shoot him if he'd tried something like that.

He saw the tension in her whole body as she sat down. He stood up and slowly walked over to her desk. Noting, how she flinched as he approached her.

"Everything alright?"

Her hand slipped from the mouse and she cleared her throat.

"Sure."

He'd asked her almost the same question when she had entered the building this morning. She wasn't irritated or annoyed because he ahd asked her again, as he'd hoped. No, she was nervous, obviously afraid that he might ask her what had happened. His heart sunk. She must had gotten bad news.

He knew that she wouldn't tell him the truth, at least not now, but he had to try nevertheless. If only to show her that he did care, that he'd be there whenever she felt ready to share.

"What did Abbott want?"

Lisbon shrugged in a weak attempt to seem disinterested. "It was nothing."

She avoided looking at him and instead focused on the screen in front of her. The suicide note was still open and Jane could see the pain on her face as she realised this. She closed the file immediately, but Jane knew better than anyone that it wasn't as easy as getting it out of her sight to escape the feeling of guilt.

"Nothing?" he inquired, well aware that this would annoy her. Everything that distracted her seemed right to him. He'd rather had her angry at him than sad.

"Are you done interrogating me?" she asked him. The irritation in her tone was definitely there now. "Can we go back to work?"

She turned around to face him. He tried to look as innocent as possible.

"Did you discuss anything new while I was away?"

He shook his head. "No, not really." He decided for the moment not to tell her about Wylie's secret assignment. She had enough to worry about without adding this.

Cho joined them again.

"There isn't much we can do without any further information. The evidence is just not decisive enough."

He looked at him, as if expecting him to jump in. Jane chose to ignore him, as an idea came to his mind. He tapped his index finger against his lips.

"Jane?"

Lisbon snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Sorry, yeah, where were we." He sat on the corner of her desk. "I think we should talk to Linda's parents."

Lisbon's face fell. "That's not possible."

"Why would you say that?" Cho asked her. Lisbon moved the keyboard on her desk further towards the screen, playing for time. Jane had a very good idea where this was leading.

"You tried," he stated, not taking his eyes of her. "You tried and they didn't want to talk to you?"

She nodded and started sorting the files on her desk, not to have to look at him.

"Hm, I'd still like to talk to them."

Lisbon's head shot up.

"Didn't you listen to me. They're not interested, Jane. They made that very clear. They don't want to have anything to do with this." Jane looked at her intently.

"They didn't want to talk to you, Lisbon," he said softly. "They don't know me, they don't even know I'm connected to you. I think I might have a chance at this."

He didn't want to hurt her, but there was no other way to say this. She became quiet, looking at her hands.

"I can give you their number," she finally said after a moment. "But it's your fault if they file a complaint against us, because we wouldn't let them alone."

Jane nodded. "Noted. I could of course learn a lot more if I had the opportunity to speak to them in person," he tentatively began, only to be interrupted by her.

"Don't start again, Jane. Were' not going to California."

He just grinned at her, "It was worth a try."

She shook her head at him and wrote the number down on a piece of paper. "Here."

She handed him the phone number and Jane on purpose made sure to brush his finger against her's.

Cho had been silent the last few minutes.

"Why would someone go through all the effort to stage a suicide in that way?" he finally said.

Jane remained silent. He'd spent half the night wondering about exactly that question and all the possible answer he'd come up with hadn't been very pleasing.

Lisbon rubbed her forehead. "I don't know." She sighed and looked at him. "Do you think we're wrong, that we're just wasting our time here."

Cho shook his head. "No... I'm just wondering what ulterior motive someone could have to have us look into a closed case from years ago."

Lisbon froze, something must have come to her mind.

"Lisbon," Jane looked at her, slightly worried, "Anything you want to share."

She slowly looked up at him.

"I just thought...maybe all they wanted was a reinvestigation of the old case. Not necessarily by us."

Abbott chose that moment to enter the bullpen and inform them about a new case. A young police cadet had been found dead at an academy. He separated them into teams of two and sent them off.

* * *

Jane whistled a happy tune as Lisbon steered them out of the parking lot. She glanced at him, her eyebrows furrowed, but she didn't tell him to stop and so he didn't. It took another 10 minutes and three more songs, each more annoying than the one before, until her patience finally run out.

"Could you please stop that, Jane? I don't need another headache."

He grinned, but complied to her wish.

"Sure."

He looked out of the window as the houses passed by them.

"I missed this," he finally said. Lisbon looked at him, confusion clearly written all over her face.

"Driving in a car? Would be new to me that you like being on the road that much."

He shrugged at her. "I'm living in an airstream, just to remind you. I'm not opposed to cars."

He smiled as she murmured something under her breath. She'd never liked the airstream. The smile faded as he remembered that she still hadn't visited him in his new home. He pushed that thought to the side, he'd decided to use this drive to make her feel better, distract her from whatever was on her mind.

He leaned back in his seat and smiled. "However, that's not what I meant. I missed this," he pointed from her to him. "I missed us driving together to a crime scene."

Lisbon looked at him, surprised, but if he didn't read her completely wrong, also slightly pleased.

"We really didn't do that in a while..." she mused.

"You could say that." Jane counted in his head. "It was exactly 791 days ago, to be precise."

Lisbon looked at him. "That can't be. We surely were once together in a car since you're back."

He shook his head. "Never just the two of us. I'd remember that."

She was silent for a moment, but finally she nodded.

"You're right." She almost seemed shocked. "I hadn't realised that."

"You see, that's why I have every right to be happy for the next two hours."

She smiled at him and that alone had been worth all the effort.

"I guess I missed it too."

A huge grin crossed his face. "And it only needed being one agent short. I'd found a way to get rid of Fischer weeks ago if I'd known that."

She hit him on the arm. "Jane!"

But he could see that she wasn't really angry at him.

"I take it back, I didn't miss this, not at all."

"High voice."

She smiled again, despite all her efforts not to. She looked adorable.

They passed a diner and Jane wistfully thought about his failed tea that morning.

"Do you think there's time for a short break. I could use a tea?"

She shook her head. "We're working, Jane. Besides, you had a tea before we left."

"It wasn't drinkable," he murmured grudgingly but not quietly enough for her not to hear.

"Are you telling me you ruined a tea? You, the self-named tea brewing expert?" She grinned at him and he realised he'd sacrifice any number of teas to see that again.

"It might have happened." He knew that his next words would sweep the smile of her face, but this was the perfect opportunity to get her talking and he couldn't miss it.

"In my defence, I had a lot on my mind."

She immediately seemed to understand what he was referring to and became more serious. He could see her knuckles turn white, as she gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"I'm sorry."

He sat up more upright. "It wasn't your fault." That's not what he wanted, to make her feel even more guilty, and even if only about something as ridiculous as a cup of tea.

She sighed, "I know, it's just..." she looked out of the windscreen, searching for words.

He waited, but as she didn't continue, he carefully asked her, "Is this where you're going to tell me what Abbott wanted from you?"

She looked at him, but she didn't seem angry, or annoyed; she just looked tired.

"I guess it's only a matter of time until you'd figured it out, anyhow."

She took a shaky breath.

"Abbott informed me that Amanda Shaw's case has been reopened and that they found some..." another short break, "they found some irregularities in the file."

He frowned at her. "Irregularities? That's impossible."

"I'm just telling you what Abbott knew. He didn't have any specifics. IA wants to talk to me tomorrow."

His thoughts raced. Internal affairs... this was worse than he'd thought, a lot worse.

"It's just an informal hearing," Lisbon tried to reassure him, and he guessed also herself. "They'll decide afterwards whether it's worth investigating further, or not."

Jane mentally went through the lists of reasons why anyone would profit from discrediting Lisbon. It didn't make any sense. Why now, why in connection to an old CBI case?

"Jane?"

He looked up at her, she seemed worried. She'd probably said his name more than once.

"You'll have to tell me every small detail about the hearing tomorrow, Lisbon. Do you hear me? No more secrets." He looked at her intently and to his surprise, she nodded.

"Ok." Her answer was barely more than whisper.

"That's not good," Jane said slowly, "whatever this is about, it smells foul. First the staged suicide, and now this. Someone is targeting you."

"We don't really know whether it was staged Jane," Lisbon interrupted him halfheartedly. He slowly shook his head. "It can't be a coincidence. We both know there's nothing in Amanda Shaw's case file that could warrant an investigation. If they found something, then only because it was placed there."

Lisbon fell quiet, looking straight ahead at the road in front of her.

"We're going to find who's behind this," Jame reassured her. "We'll set it right, Lisbon." She just nodded, but didn't look at him. He put his hand on her shoulder and she finally glanced at him.

"It will be ok. I promise."


	5. Good reasons

A/N: Sorry, that it took a bit longer this time with the update, I was quite busy at work. Again, thanks a lot for reading and commenting on my last chapter; it means the world to me. I'm still pretty new to writing on english and any feedback is very much appreciated.

There isn't particularly much happening in that chapter, but that will change soon. ;)

* * *

 **Good reasons**

Jane walked around the white markings on the ground. The body had been removed the day before. Lisbon observed him searching the ground with his eyes, from time to time crosschecking what he saw with the pictures of the crime scene they'd received.

She was half hoping that he would continue this for a while longer, at least he wasn't offending anyone during that time. The police recruit that had been following them around since the little incident shortly after their arrival, demonstratively looked at his watch. His patience seemed to reach a limit. Lisbon couldn't blame him. He'd followed them wherever they went, never leaving Jane out of sight.

Her phone buzzed and she saw that it was a message from Cho.

She read it, trying not to pay attention to Jane who currently was lying on the ground to glance under the car close by.

"We're done here," Lisbon said to the young recruit that had been eying Jane with disgust written all over his face.

Jane shook his head and stood up, brushing some dust of his jacket. "I still want to check-"

"No," Lisbon shook her head, "we're done. Cho texted me, he'll meet us at the entrance in five."

The relief on the recruits's face was immense. "I can bring you there," he offered immediately, eager to get rid of them.

Lisbon shook her head again. "Thank you, but that won't be necessary. We can walk around the building."

The recruit looked from her to Jane and back. Lisbon had a good idea what was going through his head. His superior had made it very clear that they weren't allowed anywhere on the campus without supervision.

Lisbon sighed. "I personally make sure to keep Jane off the grounds. We'll walk around it, you have my word."

In the end his wish to get away from them, or rather fro Jane, was stronger than his doubts. "I wish you a nice day, Agent Lisbon," he nodded towards her and then with a lot less warmth in his voice, "Mr Jane."

Jane approached her as the recruit disappeared in the building behind them.

"I just need to see the dorm again."

"Not today." She glared at him. "He's gone, you can cut the crap now. Since hours you were doing nothing but annoying the hell out of the young recruit."

Jane didn't even deny it and she suppressed the urge to hit him.

"You know," he said instead, "you're not really my boss, so there's no reason why I shouldn't just go back inside and talk to recruit Keyne for a while longer."

She was surprised that he didn't retreat a step at the way she glared at him.

"No, none at all. Except that I have the car keys and unless you want to stay here for the night, I'd be very careful now if I were you."

To her surprise a wide grin broke across his face. He lifted his hand in the air.

"Don't shoot, I give up."

She eyed him suspiciously as they started walking, expecting him to run off at any moment. Jane looked at her and sighed theatrically.

"Relax, Lisbon. I'm not going to sneak off. I told you, I gave up for the day."

They walked for a while in silence, before Jane spoke again.

"I just wanted to point out, in my defence, that I didn't "annoy" the recruit just out of fun. I had very good reasons for provoking him."

"I'm sure you did," Lisbon said under her breath. "You always do, don't you?"

She shook her head in resignation, as he continued to look at her. "But, please, enlighten me." She stood still. "Or no, let me guess."

Jane's smile grew even wider. "Go ahead."

"You tried to make him angry, or frightened...whatever happens first, so that he'd be more likely to lose control and let something slip he doesn't want us to know."

Jane looked at her. "I'm impressed, agent Lisbon."

She rolled her eyes at him.

"Any idea why I might suspect that he knows something worth our interest?" he asked her and Lisbon felt slightly annoyed at his tone.

"Don't patronise me, Jane," she warned him, but decided to answer his question nevertheless.

"He was scared this morning. When the officer in charge informed all the recruits of what had happened, he was nervous and scared. I was surprised the officer chose him to babysit you."

"Us," Jane corrected her, "to babysit us."

She didn't dignify his last comment with an answer.

Their whole discussion however got her thinking. What if the officer had specifically chosen that recruit, maybe to frighten him even more? Which would indicate that not only the recruit in question, but also the officer in charge had something to do with the murder.

"It might be worth to invite Keyne to Austin tomorrow, an official interrogation room might help to loosen his control even further."

Jane smiled. "So I guess you start seeing a value in me intimidating him?"

She shrugged, unwilling to give him the satisfaction. "Maybe, we'll see."

They spent the last part of their way in silence again, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Lisbon was surprised how good it had been to be out in the field with Jane again. She couldn't prevent a grin herself. Despite him being annoying all day long, she'd enjoyed this; a lot. She liked working with Cho and Wylie, but only now she realised how much she'd missed seeing Jane out in the field. Most of the time, he'd been paired up with Fischer since she started working for the FBI. Well that would clearly change now, with Fischer gone.

Assuming of course that she would be allowed to keep her job. The thought hit her unexpectedly and hard. She'd been so busy trying to keep Jane from causing too much trouble that she'd completely forgotten about her hearing with Internal affairs the next morning. A suspicion started to take form in her mind.

"What were the other reasons?"

Jane seemed to look surprised, but she didn't believe for a second that he didn't know what she was referring to.

"What?"

She wouldn't let him of the hook that easily, not this time.

"You said you had very good reasons for annoying Keyne. Reason **s**. You've only told me one so far."

He hesitated for a moment. They'd reached their cars by now, but Cho and Wylie were nowhere to be seen.

"I'm waiting, Jane."

He was no longer grinning, or even smiling; he looked sincere instead. Lisbon suddenly felt ridiculous. What was she trying to prove? They both knew why he'd done it and instead of being thankful she was trying to force him to admit it. What for?

"Never mind," she said embarrassed. She saw Cho leaving the building, closely followed by Wylie. She urged them to walk faster in her mind ... it didn't help, they weren't nearly fast enough.

"It will be fine, Teresa," Jane said. It wasn't only the sincerity in his voice that made her heart flutter, it was the fact that he used her first name.

She looked at him, unable to find the right words. Just moments before Cho and Wylie couldn't have been fast enough for her taste, now she wished they would still be in the building.

"Lisbon, Jane," Cho greeted them and Lisbon forced herself to tear her eyes from Jane's.

* * *

Lisbon stopped the engine of her car and took a few deep breaths. It was just a hearing, nothing more.

She was relieved that Internal affairs were located in their own small building a few blocks away from their offices; at least no one would see her talk to them. Enough gossip surrounded her already because of they way she came to work for the FBI; she didn't need anything new to fuel it.

A small reception awaited her after she entered the building and an uniformed agent checked her ID. _Don't take away my gun_ , she pleaded in her head. It was ridiculous, it wouldn't make any difference. She wouldn't be less an agent if they took her gun for the duration of the interview, nor would it influence the outcome of the hearing in any way. However, as irrational as it was, she'd feel more vulnerable without her gun, painfully reminded of the two times she'd had to hand in her badge and gun before.

She breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't mention her weapon at all.

"They're awaiting you, Agent Lisbon. The second door on the right." He handed her her badge back and Lisbon took it with slightly shaking fingers. The agent smiled at her reassuringly, it was probably nothing new to him that whoever came for a hearing in this building was nervous.

She knocked twice before she entered. It was a small room, not too different from their own interrogation rooms. There was no two-way mirror and somehow this made her feel better.

Two agents were waiting for her, a woman and a man, both older than her. She was sure they'd chosen them on purpose to intimidate her. Surprisingly Lisbon felt suddenly very calm. She'd conducted hundreds of interview on her own, she knew all the tricks; they wouldn't scare her that easily.

"Agent Lisbon," the man to her right shook her hand first and introduced himself as Agent Carlson and his partner as Agent Selman. He was obviously the one in charge of the interview. "Thank you for agreeing to this."

She smiled at them. "No problem. It's in my interest to get this out of the world as fast as possible."

Agent Selman pointed towards the single chair on her side of the table.

"Please, sit down."

They took their time taking their seats, rearranging the files in front of them. Another attempt at making her nervous, by having her wait.

"So," Agent Carlson began, "we have to go through a few formalities first, I'm sure you know the drill." He laughed shortly, a dry and factitious laugh. Lisbon kept a straight face and the fake laughter died away. Jane was right, law enforcement agents were terrible liars, she thought.

His partner continued. "You were senior agent at the CBI four years ago, is that correct?"

She nodded, "Yes, as I'm sure you'll find in my files."

They ignored her comment and continued. "Four people worked under your direct supervision?"

"I had three fully trained special agents in my team and the unit was supported by a consultant." She didn't waiver under their looks, "Which I'm sure is also noted in my files."

She couldn't bite back her last comment. She'd always hated such pointless questions. Jane would likely tell her that they served very good reasons. On one hand giving her the false illusion of being able to provide a correct answer and secondly and more importantly revealing how she reacted when answering truthfully. Lisbon felt slightly annoyed that her mind thought it necessary to have Jane lecture her, even if he wasn't there. However, she'd given a lot to have him with her in the room that moment and that fact annoyed her even more.

The two agents again didn't remark on her answer, but instead went on presenting her with statements. They weren't even real questions anymore.

"Your unit was dismantled, together with the whole CBI, because of corruption and criminal activity about two years ago."

Despite her efforts to keep quiet, Lisbon felt her anger rising.

"My team and I were cleared of any kind of misconduct. In fact, we were the unit that uncovered everything," she told them, pressing her hands flat against the table to prevent herself from clenching her fists.

They continued to ignore her and instead flipped through the pages in front of them.

"Your consultant, Patrick Jane fled the country-"

"Patrick Jane made a deal with the FBI, which you must be aware of," she cut them off and couldn't completely hide the anger in her voice.

"Why don't you ask the questions you're really interested in and leave my former team out of this?"

The female agent smiled at her apologetically. "We're just following the protocol, Agent Lisbon."

Carlson cleared his throat before he continued. "In your position as a senior agent you handled the investigation of the apparent suicide of Amanda Shaw."

Lisbon just nodded, relieved that the actual interview was finally beginning. She tried not to let her feelings of guilt shine through, as she answered:

"Yes."

"Can you tell us more?"

She took a deep breath. "Amanda Shaw was the personal assistant of Thomas Volker, a suspect involved in a murder investigation. I personally questioned her and while she did not provide actual evidence against Mr. Volker, her statement was of great use to the investigation." She hesitated for a moment, but they didn't say anything and she had no choice but to continue.

"Amanda Shaw was found dead in her flat shortly afterwards. Her death was ruled a suicide initially, but a second autopsy proved that she was in fact murdered. We could connect Charles Milk to the crime scene, a known associate of Thomas Volker. He died however in a shooting before we could talk to him."

They'd never been actually able to connect Volker to the crime scene and while he'd been charged for ordering the murder of Horatio Jones and the attempted murder of Marvin Pettigrew, he'd insisted that he had nothing to do with the murder of Amanda Shaw and that Milk had done this on his own. Lisbon hadn't believed him for a second, but it still didn't change that on record he wasn't guilty for her murder.

"Hm. " Carlson took some notes. "It says here that the second autopsy was requested and paid by you personally. Would you like to elaborate on that, Agent Lisbon."

"There's isn't much to say. Amanda Shaw's suicide seemed odd and I requested a second opinion, which confirmed my suspicion."

"Was it common that you requested a second autopsy, or decided to continue to investigate a closed case, even at your own expense?" Agent Selman asked her.

"No. I had, however, very good reasons to continue the investigation in this specific case. Thomas Volker personally made sure to let me know that he was behind the murder of Amanda. He didn't say it directly, but he threatened me."

The agents looked at each other and Lisbon didn't like the expression on their faces.

"Can anybody verify that?"

Lisbon sighed. "Of course not. Volker wouldn't have talked to me about it, if someone had been able to listen. However, it is on record that he showed up at the crime scene shortly after Amanda's body was found."

Carlson just nodded and wrote something down on his notepad.

"What led you to question my decision back then? The second autopsy proved that a mistake had happened. A murderer would have walked free, why do I have the feeling I have to defend myself for having solved a case?"

It probably was a bad idea to attack them this way, but Lisbon couldn't stand their knowing looks any longer. She arrested Volker and the evidence against him had been overwhelming, even without a connection to Amanda's murder. Why would anyone question what she and her team had done?

"Would you say that you were still objective during your further investigation into Thomas Volker?" Agent Selman inquired.

Lisbon blinked a few times in confusion. What had this to do with anything?

"Let me phrase it differently, Agent Lisbon. Could it be that you had a personal grudge against Thomas Volker, which might have influenced your line of investigation?"

"No," Lisbon answered immediately. "I mean I won't pretend that I liked him as a person, but this didn't influence my work in the least. He was a suspect in several murders and I did my best to find proof and arrest him. Like I do in every case I work on. I only was in pursuit of him because the evidence led me there, not because of some personal vendetta."

A few minutes silence followed that statement and Lisbon started to hope that the interview might be over. Agent Selman's next words however left her speechless for a moment.

"You're currently working again and worked for several years alongside Patrick Jane. A man who openly declared in court that he thinks killing the man who murdered his family is his right. Do you think being partnered with Patrick Jane might have influenced your views and consequently your work-ethics?"

Lisbon was searching for words, she couldn't believe what she just heard.

"Th...this is ridiculous. I always was and still am against vigilante justice. I believe in our system and do everything I can with my work to serve our society."

Agent Carlson ordered the files on the table and stood up.

"This is all for the moment. Thank you very much for your cooperation, Agent Lisbon." He smiled at her. "We'll contact you again if there's anything more."

She just stared at them. Their last comment left her completely stunned and this sudden ending didn't help her to gather her senses.

"You can go now."

She finally stood up and remembered to wish them a nice day before she left the office. She had no idea what just happened, but she had the bad feeling that she would hear again from Internal affairs, very soon.


	6. Silver tin can

A/N: Thank you so much for reading and commenting on this story. Especially because it is my first attempt at a multi-chapter and feedback is very much appreciated.

This chapter is very Lisbon and Jane heavy, I hope you don't mind.

I'll be on holiday from sunday onwards and while I might have time to write occasionally (handwritten), I won't have access to a computer to type it in and upload it. So it might be two weeks until the next update; I'm sorry for that.

* * *

 **Silver tin can**

Jane didn't even pretend to be working. He lay on his couch, arms crossed behind his head. The soft clicking of numerous keyboards, hushed voices in the distance, the occasional ring of the elevator; all in all the bullpen provided a nice background noise level, perfect for a short nap, or letting one's thoughts wander, which was exactly what Jane was doing. Their current case was boring and he already suspected someone, he was fairly certain that they would make an arrest the next day or the latest the day after that. He sighed; no, their current was case was not what occupied his mind. He turned his head so that he had a view on the clock at the wall. Her meeting with IA must be finished by now, so where was she?

He'd looked their address up this morning and he felt the need to go and see whether her car was still there. It wasn't far, he would be there in a few minutes. Whether he would live long after he arrived there was another question. He couldn't imagine that she'd be pleased to see him. In fact, he almost expected that he was the reason she hadn't shown up at the office yet. He'd gotten her to promise to tell him everything about the hearing and Lisbon wasn't someone to break her word, she could however choose to avoid him for a while and therefore delay the inevitable.

"Jane."

He opened his eyes and looked up at Cho.

"We've got Keyne in interview room 1. We'll have to be quick, he hasn't asked for his attorney yet, but it'll be only a matter of time."

Jane closed his eyes again. "He won't call his attorney. He's not guilty, just afraid. Make him nervous," he said with a yawn, "he'll talk to you in no time."

He felt obliged to open his eyes again as Cho neither moved, nor answered.

"Anything else?"

"You're not going to talk to him? It was your idea to have him brought to Austin."

Jane shrugged. "I'm sure you'll able to manage without me, I'm currently busy here." He threw a glance at Lisbon's still empty desk.

Cho just shook his head, but he apparently gave up because he walked away. Cho hadn't been gone more than five minutes, when he heard her steps approaching.

He sat up immediately as Lisbon walked towards her desk. She was tense, he could see it from afar. If she wasn't careful she'd have a headache before noon again.

"Hey," he stood up and walked over to her desk as she sat down. She threw her car keys on the desk, looking straight at her computer. Tense and annoyed, he corrected his initial assessment. He wasn't surprised, he'd imagined nothing else. Her hands were shaking slightly and he frowned. He hadn't expected that. Whatever they asked or said to her, it clearly had't been what **she** had expected; she seemed shaken.

"How was it?" he asked her, ignoring her obvious pretence not to have noticed his presence.

It was almost invisible, but her fingers flinched on her mouse. She looked at him however.

"Can we not talk about this now, Jane?" she begged him. He opened his mouth to say something, but she didn't let him.

"I know, I promised you every detail," she said, and this time she sounded annoyed. Jane was surprised. The anger he sensed now was clearly directed at him.

"And I will tell you," she continued, "just not now. Okay? We need to work and I need some time to.." she swallowed, "to process what happened."

He just nodded, he knew they both could only lose if he would insist now. The minutes passed and Jane watched her. She checked her mails and threw a glance at him from time to time, but she didn't complain about his presence at her table.

"You know," he finally said, "I'll have something to tell you as well. I haven't been idling around since yesterday. I did some investigating on my own."

She looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Well, okay," he confessed, "I might have let someone else do the actual investigating, but I initiated it."

A smile crossed her face and it made him feel so much better.

"How about we leave early today, get something to eat and discuss all of this at my place," he asked her, encouraged by her smile. If only it had lasted longer. A frown replaced it the moment he finished his sentence.

"We have a case, Jane," she told him, as if this explained everything. "We can't leave early."

He sighed. "Well then forget the "leaving early part", let's just head over to my place after work."

She still seemed sceptical. "You're talking about your tin can on wheels?"

He couldn't prevent a grin.

"Yeah, that one. It's not that bad, Lisbon. You should see it. I've found a nice trailer park not to far from here. With lots of trees and there's even a small lake close by."

She didn't seem convinced.

"Please?" he begged her.

She rolled her eyes at him, but he knew that he had her.

"It might be good not to talk here about this anyhow, we never know who might be listening."

He'd said this rather as a joke but she seemed genuinely scared by his words.

"You think they might listen to our conversations?"

He presumed she was talking about IA and he got even more curious to learn what they'd told her.

"I don't think so," he honestly answered, "but you never know. We spend so much time in here, I would just prefer to talk to you at a different place for once."

She didn't answer immediately and he hold his breath. He didn't even know why this was so important to him, but he desperately wanted her to see the airstream; at least once.

"Ok," she finally agreed and he thanked her with a huge smile.

"You won't regret it. I'll even pay the food."

She turned back towards her computer. "You better will, if you drag me out there."

* * *

Jane checked his rearview-mirror every few minutes just to be sure that she was still following him. It had been close to 7 until they finally decided to call it a day at work. As he'd predicted, Keyne had given in after only a few minutes and while he'd confirmed his suspicion that someone high up was hiding something, the young recruit hadn't known what. His murdered friend never told him the details; which probably was the reason why he was still alive in the first place. Jane still had his suspicion of who was the culprit, but he'd decided to keep it to himself until he had proof. Whoever it was, they wouldn't risk another murder, not now, and mentioning his suspicion to Lisbon, or worse Abbott, only would have resulted in an even longer working day; the last he'd wanted. There were more urgent matters do discuss.

He stopped his car in front of the trailer park and took the bags with their food from the passenger seat. While they walked to the airstream, Lisbon complained loudly about the fact that they had to walk there and how unpractical it was to live in a trailer in general. He'd chosen a spot at the very end of the trailer park for his airstream. Surrounded by trees it almost felt like being in a forest. Lisbon apparently didn't see the beauty of it. He was pretty sure though, that part of her complaining had nothing to do with his way of living at all, but was rather an sign of her nervousness.

It was a nice evening and he suggested to sit outside. They mostly talked about their current case during dinner and Jane didn't press her to change the subject. They had the whole evening, so he let her choose the pace. She would mention her hearing when she felt ready; he could wait.

He didn't have to be patient for much longer. Lisbon played with the cup of tea in her hands, that he made her after dinner. With a sigh she put the cup down on the table and looked at him.

"I guess I owe you some answers."

He just looked at her, sipping at his own tea.

She avoided his gaze, focusing on her hands. "What do you want to now?"

He smiled at her, hoping to reassure her. "Everything?" He formulated it as a question to give her a way out. She still remained silent and he decided to change his strategy. Specific questions might be easier for her.

"What did they ask you?"

She shrugged. "Not that much. Large part of the interview was just them asking me things they already knew."

Jane tapped his fingers against his cup. "Hm, there might still be information hidden in there."

She seemed only slightly annoyed at that part of the interview and he thought it might help her to loosen up if he encouraged her to talk about that first.

She told him in detail what they'd asked her and nothing surprised him. He'd expected them to read not only her file, and it didn't come as a surprise that they mentioned the dismantling of the CBI.

"I guess they just tried to start slowly and get an impression of you," he said to her after she finished.

"I figured as much, still doesn't mean I have to like it. Besides, it didn't give them the right to imply that I or anyone of my team had something to do with the Blake Association! And I told them as much."

He smiled at her, he could almost see her defending her team... and him.

"They probably didn't like that."

She shrugged. "Well it worked, they finally started to ask the questions they invited me for."

Jane immediately sensed that she became more reluctant to talk. She'd seemed shaken in the morning when she came back and it hadn't been from anything she told him so far.

She took a deep breath. "They were implying that I wasn't objective during the investigation of Amanda's murder and all the following cases in connection to Volker."

He frowned. "What makes you think that?"

"They wanted to know why I asked and paid for a second autopsy and whether this had happened before. They didn't say it directly, but it was clear that they thought I had personal motivations to go after Volker and that this might have influenced my work."

She started to play with the cross around her neck and hesitated for a moment.

"They wanted to know whether working with you might have changed my work ethics." She didn't look at him as she said that.

Jane felt a surge of anger. He understood now why she'd seemed so beside herself when she'd returned.

"I mean, I told them that this is nonsense, of course," she added nervously. She tried to laugh, but it didn't reach her eyes. "They even quoted you. They must have read the transcript of the trial after Timothy Carter's-" She seemed not to dare saying it, and he finished the sentence instead. "..murder."

She only nodded and he knew that her thoughts were no longer occupied with the IA hearing, or Timothy Carter, but rather with a different murder. He hadn't planed to talk about it that evening, but he had known that the topic had to come up at some point. They hadn't talked about it at all since his return.

"You've never asked me what happened that day," he asked her softly. She lifted her eyes to him.

"You never mentioned it and I thought-" she stopped for a moment, never taking her eyes of his, "I thought you don't want to talk about it."

"It's not something I like to think or talk about, but I would have told you if you'd asked me." He felt his heart beat faster in his chest and corrected himself. "I will tell you about it if you ask me to. You of all people have a right to know."

Part of him was afraid, afraid that she might look differently at him if she knew the whole truth. She must have a very good idea what happened, since they found McAllister dead in that park, but it wasn't the same as hearing it from him.

He was nervously waiting for the inevitable question, unconsciously clenching his right hand to a fist on the table. She reached over and put her hand very lightly on his. It was such a small and simple gesture, but it moved him deeply and all the tension left his body.

"Maybe another day," she said, tightening her grip around his hand for a moment before she pulled back.

He exhaled, only now realising that he'd hold his breath. That much about his biofeedback tricks. He suddenly felt embarrassed and cleared his throat.

"There's just one thing," she began and his heart rate sped up again.

"Did you..." she began again. "Do you feel better now?"

He looked at her, hiding nothing. "Honestly, I don't know. In the end I was just relieved that it was over but at the same time it was very scary. I didn't know what to do next, whether-" he stopped himself, averting his eyes from her.

"What I'm trying to say is, I had to do it, there was no other way to have a normal life again, so I mainly felt relieved. It felt as if I was free for the first time in years. But it wasn't-" A short pause. "It isn't that easy." It wasn't as if all his guilt suddenly had disappeared after it.

"It's getting better, though."

"I'm glad to hear that," Lisbon said, and then added more softly, "Thank you for being so honest with me."

They both remained quiet after that. Jane was finally the one to break the silence and brought them back to their original topic. "Why would they question your work in the first place, did they say anything about that?"

Lisbon shook her head. "No."

"There must be something, they wouldn't summon you to a hearing for nothing. The evidence against Volker was more than convincing, they would never have a closer look at it if not for a reason."

Lisbon took another sip from her cup. "What are you saying?"

"When they reopened the case because of Linda they must have found something in the file."

"Abbott said they found some irregularities," Lisbon remembered, "I wonder why they didn't mention it."

Jane didn't answer her immediately, deep in thoughts.

"We need to see the files," he finally said and before she could protest. "I know, it's impossible to get the electronic versions, at least without raising suspicion. But there's no way to find out who's behind this without knowing what they changed in the files."

"If they did change something." She placed her cup on the table and played nervously with her hands.

"I was pretty obsessed going after Volker, maybe I did cross a line-"

"Nonsense," Jane interrupted her. "And even if, never in a way that would have ended up in the files. No, someone manipulated them, there's no other explanation."

A blackbird sang on a tree close by and for a few minutes this was the only sound audible.

"Maybe we should focus on Linda Shaw instead. We don't have access to the old CBI files, but we might have a chance at finding out whether she was murdered or not. Proving her murder would already be helpful," Lisbon suggested and he agreed with her.

"I told you this morning that I have some news as well," he began explaining. "I had Wylie look into the last days of Linda. Phone calls, credits cards, what she did online...just everything he could get a hold on."

"Wait a moment," Lisbon frowned at him, "how the hell did you get the permission to do that."

"I didn't." He sighed as she glared at him.

"Look, Wylie agreed to do this, very well aware of the fact that it was illegal. I didn't trick him into doing it or anything."

"That's not the point, Jane," Lisbon said agitated.

Jane shook his head slightly. "You said so yourself, we have to do something with the possibilities we have. That was one of them. You played by the rules all the time, and what did it help you? Someone is using the system against you and we can't just sit back and do nothing."

"Maybe it's all just a misunderstanding and I'll never hear from IA again," Lisbon murmured under her breath, but Jane knew that she didn't really believe that herself.

"Do you now want to know what Wylie found?" he asked her and she nodded with a sigh.

"Linda booked her next holidays only a week ago. She had many friends and called and texted them all the time. Hours before the appointed time of death she made plans with a friend for that evening. She payed her phone bill the day before and ordered clothes online."

Lisbon looked at him. "That doesn't sound like someone planning to take his or her life."

"No," Jane agreed with her, "nothing indicates that she was weary of living. She was in the middle of life, so to say. I'm sure she didn't commit suicide."

He lifted his hand. "But, that's not yet all. Wylie found that she didn't pay for the house she was staying at."

"What?" Lisbon asked him, clearly confused.

"The rent for the house was prepaid in advance, and not by her. Wylie is currently looking into it, but the bank account where the money came from seems odd, as if only created for that purpose."

"That's weird."

Jane leaned back in his chair. "You could say that. I couldn't reach Linda's parents today, but I'll try again tomorrow. They might be able to shed some light on this."

"If they talk to you," Lisbon murmured and she didn't seem very convinced that they would.

"We'll see," Jane remarked.

"This is all great, Jane, but it won't be enough. We need actual evidence, and even more so we need evidence that wasn't obtained half illegally."

"I know that, but at least it's a beginning."

She just nodded and he could see that something else was on her mind. She looked at him and he raised his eyebrows at her, encouraging her to speak.

"Do...do you think they'll suspend me?" Lisbon tried to sound casual, but Jane immediately noted the slight tremor in her voice and the way she gripped the edge of the table, probably without even realising it.

He considered his next words very carefully, but decided against lying to her.

"It might happen. If someone went through the effort of staging a suicide only to have an old case reopened, I'd expect them to be thorough. However they manipulated the old CBI files, they did in a way that leaves no room for doubt. So yes, I think it's very likely." It might even be that a suspension would only be the beginning, but he couldn't bring himself to say this out aloud, she was upset enough already.

He smiled at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear."

Lisbon shrugged, but she didn't look at him. "I asked you for your opinion, not wishful thinking, don't worry about it. I mean it's not as if I'd expected a different answer."

He wanted to reach out and take her hand, but she choose that moment to cross her arms in front of her chest and he knew that she wouldn't accept his touch; not now. She was withdrawing from him, encapsulating herself, as she always did when she was hurt or scared.

"It's getting late, I probably should head home," Lisbon said that moment and her voice sounded strained.

Jane just nodded, he knew that there was no way he would get through to her at that moment.

"Ok," he said softly. They stood up and she wordlessly helped him to carry the things inside the airstream.

"I see you tomorrow," she said after they finished. Jane nodded, feeling miserable at the way the evening had ended.

She'd already turned around when he called out her name.

"Teresa."

She stopped, but didn't turn to face him.

"We'll fix this," he said, but even in his own ears his words sounded hollow.

"Good night, Jane."

She walked away without looking back and Jane stood for a long time in front of his airstream, staring into the night.


	7. Expectations

A/N: First of all, I'm so sorry it took that long this time. I've been on holidays and then after I came back I encountered a small writers block. There's something about this chapter that just doesn't work for me and I struggled writing it for the largest part. I'm still not absolutely happy with it, but that's the best I could do, I'm afraid. I promise you, you won't have to wait that long for the next chapters. A few very exciting chapters are coming now and I can't wait to write them and for you to read them.

Thank you a lot for all the reviews I received so far, they mean so much to me. And my aplologies that I didn't reply to all of them in person, I'll try to do that from now on.

* * *

Expectations

Lisbon closed the folder with a sigh and put it on the pile with all the ones she'd already looked through. A very small pile in comparison to the one she still had to do. The folders seemed to mock her, lying there close to the edge of the table. For a moment she felt the urge to push them over, throwing them all into the bin. It wasn't as if it would make any difference. They were all wasting their time, but unless they had a different lead, this was the only thing they could do. She pulled the next folder in front of her and opened it, but she couldn't bring herself to actually start reading. She stole a glance at her colleagues. Cho seemed focused, skimming over the pages in front of him... but to her relief, she noted that his already-done pile didn't seem larger than hers. Wylie was not at his place, probably getting a coffee. Something she needed too, but she'd promised herself not to get up before she finished ten more and this had only been three folders ago...so no break in sight for her.

She tried to focus on the pages in front of her again, but a rustling noise behind her distracted her. She didn't have to turn around to know what or rather who was responsible for this. Jane had refused to go over the files, not holding back the thoughts that had crossed her mind too.

Instead he'd lied down on his couch this morning and apart from making himself a cup of tea he'd done nothing that day.

It was worrying her. Not the fact that he refused to help them go through the papers, that wasn't something new. No, it was his general disinterest to solve the case that alarmed her.

It wasn't the first time that he wasn't fully immersed into a case, but in contrast to earlier occasions, he had no excuse this time. His mind was no longer occupied with finding revenge, that chapter was long over.

Lisbon's heart fell. Well, this wasn't entirely true. There was something else on all their minds, her's more than anyone else's. She swallowed. The case helped not to think about it, but whenever she allowed herself a moment to breathe, the thoughts crept back into her consciousness. It was almost a week since her meeting with Internal affairs. She hadn't heard from them, which scared her more than she could say. She couldn't forget Jane's words and she fully agreed with him. Something must be wrong with the files, otherwise they'd never would have talked to her. So what was stopping them from investigating further?

And what if they hadn't stopped? Lisbon pulled the page on top closer to her in a weak attempt to distract her. What if they were secretly gathering more and more evidence against her, maybe soon enough for an arrest? She suddenly felt nauseous. All the while her people seemed stuck, not only in their current case, but also when it came to Linda Shaw.

They'd stayed late every day last week, not only her and Jane, but also Cho and Wylie. She was sure that Abbott knew they hadn't been working on the police cadet murder in those late hours, but he'd never said a word.

They'd spent long evenings discussing, but nothing useful had come from those. In short; they reached a dead end.

Jane had tried to contact Linda's parents - in vain. As she'd expected they'd refused to talk to him or anyone else for the matter. The bank account that had payed the house was their only true lead, but Wylie hadn't been able to find out anything more so far. It was an off-shore account and there was no way to learn who was behind it, or why. For all they knew it could be Linda's. There was no way to prove the opposite and with her parents remaining silent, this was the end of it.

Lisbon suppressed the urge to take out her badge, just to remind herself that she still had it. It felt as if they were running in the dark, with no idea where they were heading, or what was behind them. She couldn't shake off the feeling, though, that her time was running out. Every day she expected Abbott to approach her, with a serous expression on his face. She always flinched when he entered the room, hoping that no one noticed it. She was pretty sure that Jane had seen it the first time it happened, but he never had said a word.

She had avoided him since the evening last week, when they had talked about her hearing. She knew this wasn't fair towards him. He'd been nothing but supportive and helpful, but somehow she was afraid to be alone with him. She was afraid that she would allow herself to show him how scared she really was.

It was ridiculous, she knew it. And on top of everything else, it made her feel even worse. She missed him, she missed talking to him. She could sense his frustration, not only at their slow progress, but also at her behaviour and she couldn't blame him for it. She didn't understand it herself.

Jane usually had been the last to leave the office, supposedly hoping for an opportunity to talk to her alone. So far she'd managed to avoid him.

"Lisbon?" she looked up in surprise. She'd been so immersed in her thoughts, she hadn't heard Wylie approach her table. He looked over his shoulder, hands in his pockets. Whatever he wanted to talk about, it had nothing to do with their case, that much was obvious.

She felt Jane's presence at her side before he spoke. Not surprisingly he'd picked up on Wylie's nervousness as well.

"Anything new?" he asked the young agent, before Lisbon could speak herself.

"I don't know, maybe..." he threw another short glance to the side, making sure that nobody was listening.

"Remember, the account we talked about," Wylie said and Lisbon moved her chair closer to the table and therefore Wylie, eager to learn what he'd found.

"It's weird and I'm not sure what to make out of it. Apart from paying for Linda's house in Austin, only one single other transaction was made a few months back. It's a similar amount of money and the beneficiary was a Mrs. Dorothy Tyler, living in Tacoma. I just run a short check on her but I have no idea how she could be connected to any of this."

He handed her a paper and Lisbon read it, with Jane looking at it over her shoulder.

It didn't make any sense at all. What did a 76 year old woman have to do with Linda, or Amanda Shaw's murder?

"Could it be that this account is a fake, maybe created on purpose to misdirect us?" she asked him.

Wylie shrugged. "It seemed legit, but I'll check it again."

"Do that," Jane said, "and if you have time also try to gather more information about Dorothy here," he handed the paper back to Wylie, "If she really exists, we need to know what she was paid for."

The young agent seemed hesitant for a moment and Lisbon could understand why. They still didn't have the permission to investigate. She herself had a bad feeling as well. For all they knew Dorothy Tyler might be a innocent old lady and they had no right whatsoever to poke around in her life.

"We have to be careful, Jane," she reminded him. "We're breaking enough laws as it is, without involving more and more people."

She turned to face Wylie again. "Why don't you first check whether it's a legit account and leave the rest for now. If we really think there is something, we can always try to contact her personally. We at least don't break too many laws if we ask her a few questions on the phone."

She didn't look at Jane as she said this. She knew he would have preferred to do both, just to be sure that they didn't miss anything.

She took a deep breath before she spoke again, well aware that Jane wouldn't like what she had to say next either.

"Thank you, Wylie, for your help. I should have said this a while ago..." she didn't look at Jane, nor Wylie.

"Just to make this clear; all this is on me. Should ever someone find out what we did, I will take full responsibility."

She directly looked at Wylie now, "They wouldn't believe me, if I told them I got all this information myself, but I want you to convince them that I tricked you into believing I had the permission to investigate Linda's suicide."

Wylie wanted to protest, but she stopped him immediately. "I'm serious Wylie. I won't let you ruin your career over me. Do you hear me?"

She had been too long a boss to forget how she had to talk to someone to make them follower her orders. Especially such a young and unexperienced agent as Wylie.

He just nodded, obviously intimated by her firm voice.

Lisbon knew that it wouldn't be as easy with Jane or Cho. They both had proven in the past how loyal they were to her and the fact that they no longer worked for her, but rather with her, didn't change that in the least.

Jane said nothing, but she could feel his eyes on her. Whatever he wanted to say, she imagined he added it to the list of things he would talk to her as soon as he managed to get hold of her alone. One reason more not to let that happen any time soon.

* * *

The door of the police car closed behind the commandant of the academy; another murderer behind bars. Jane grinned as he remembered the exact moment his adversary had realised he'd just been tricked into openly confessing his crimes. It was always the same; narcissistic and arrogant people liked hearing their own voices just a bit too much.

"Nice work," Abbott said to them and clapped Jane on the shoulder, before he was called away by one of the police officers.

Jane turned around to look at the rest of his team and his smile faltered. Lisbon glared at him. He had a pretty good idea what this was about.

Cho didn't seem to notice that the temperature just had dropped considerably.

"Let's head back to Austin," he suggested, "this calls for closed case pizza."

"Why now?" Lisbon asked dangerously calm.

"We closed the case, therefore closed-case pizza," Jane said, pretending to be clueless.

Cho looked from Lisbon to him, a slightly worried expression on his face now. Jane couldn't blame him. The tension in the air felt almost tangible.

"You know what I mean," Lisbon said, "why today? Why now? Why, after days of making no progress, you suddenly manage to get him to confess?"

Jane shrugged in a last attempt to play innocent. "A good idea sometimes needs time to develop."

"Bullshit," Lisbon interrupted him. "You knew he was the murderer for days, probably since the first day. You knew it and you did and said nothing!"

She made a step towards him and Jane involuntarily stepped back. She was furious.

"Are you out of your mind? This is not a game, Jane!" She pointed towards the police car that drove off. "What if he'd killed somebody else, what if he'd decided to run away? You put the life of other people in danger, willingly!"

"I knew he wouldn't be that stupid," Jane tried to defend himself, realising too late that he just digged his own grave. Now he knew how the commandant must have felt.

"So you'll admit that you suspected him from the beginning?"

Jane looked at Cho, as if for help but the expression on the other agents face left no doubt. He was alone.

"Maybe. I had a hunch, that was all."

"Why the hell didn't you say anything."

Jane sighed. "If I'd tell you about every hunch I ever had, you wouldn't take me seriously anymore. I needed something more to be sure before I involved all of you."

Lisbon crossed her arms in front of her chest. "And what proof might that have been? I don't recall us finding anything useful the last days."

Jane hesitated for a moment. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell her the truth, not yet. She'd learn it soon enough. As difficult as it was to see her that angry, it was better than the alternative.

"There wasn't any," he confessed, "I got desperate and decided to risk it. And it worked, didn't it?"

Lisbon shook her head at him. "I can't believe you did this. You went to far this time."

She turned around to Cho. "I'm driving back with you," she said and Jane felt a surge of pain.

"Lisbon..." he began, but she didn't let him finish.

"No! I don't want to hear another word, Jane." She threw him her car keys. "I can't stand looking at you right now."

She left him and Cho standing there, heading for the cars.

Jane tried to ignore the pain. It was for her own good, he tried to remind himself, but he still felt miserable.

"Abbott will be mad," Cho remarked.

"He'll never know. Lisbon might be angry, but she won't snitch on me." And even if she did, it wouldn't make a difference. Abbott would immediately know why he slowed down their progress and while he wouldn't be happy about it, Jane was sure that he would understand why he'd done it.

Jane looked at the car keys in his hand and closed his fist around them. He could only imagine how angry she was if she let him drive alone, instead of simply kicking him out of her car.

"See you at the office," Cho said that moment and snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, see you there." Jane'd never felt less like celebrating the end of a case, but he didn't want to let her out of sight. Not that day, not knowing what would happen when they were back in Austin.

* * *

Lisbon stared out of the window, but she didn't pay attention to the houses passing by. She felt embarrassed. She'd been so angry at Jane, she just hadn't been able to hold back, not even with other people watching.

She wasn't used to this anger, that seemed to come out of nowhere. What he'd done was horrible and she couldn't understand why on earth he'd done it, but she had overreacted nevertheless. She shouldn't have shouted at him in the open, in front of Cho and quite a few police cadets that now surely never would consider joining the FBI. The only positive thing was that at least Abbott hadn't witnessed her outburst.

She closed her eyes for a moment and leaned her head against the window. The coldness of the glass helped her calm down. Ever since Jane's return it needed so little to make her angry at him. It was as if she'd used up all her patience with him back at the CBI and the slightest mistake from his side was enough to make her explode.

Cho cleared his throat and Lisbon sat back in her seat, still not looking at him.

"Ever wonder why he did it?"

She glanced at him, but Cho had his eyes firmly on the road.

"I mean," he continued as she didn't answer, "Sure, Jane plays his tricks and he likes a good surprise, but he never blocked an investigation before."

Lisbon could feel her anger rise again, only thinking about it. "What do I know," she snorted, "maybe he was bored, enjoyed seeing us wasting our time for a week. Might be his way to get back at us for all the overtime."

Cho just gave her a look, his eyebrows raised and Lisbon felt her cheeks reddening. Her words had been unasked for and unfair.

A few minutes of silence followed and Lisbon pondered what Cho'd said. He was right, in all the years since she started working with Jane, he had never on purpose obstructed their work. And never had he risked innocent people's safety, with the exception of his own of course.

"You got pretty angry there," Cho remarked and Lisbon felt the heat in her cheeks even more.

"And not for the first time in the last weeks."

Maybe she just should have driven with Jane, or even better, make him go along with Cho. She wasn't surprised that other people picked up on her strange behaviour towards Jane, she however could hardly believe that Cho mentioned it. It must look pretty bad to an outsider, if Cho of all people, decided to intervene. Lisbon felt the urge to jump out of the driving car. This was so embarrassing.

"I don't judge you," Cho said, still not looking at her which was a huge relief.

"I never understood how you put up with his shenanigans for so long without shooting him. I just don't understand the timing, why now? What changed?"

Lisbon buried her face in her hands, she couldn't believe she was having this conversation with Cho.

"I don't know," she murmured finally, wishing desperately to be alone somewhere, far away from Cho or anybody else for that matter.

Cho probably sensed how uncomfortable she was, or on second thought, he might just feel similarly embarrassed to talk about this. Whatever it was, he didn't say anything for a long time after that.

It was only when they were back in Austin, that he spoke again.

"It isn't Jane," he said and it took Lisbon a moment to realise that he continued their discussion, as if there hadn't been a one hour long pause.

"I don't think he changed much, and if, rather for the better."

He parked the car and turned around to look at her, for the first time since this discussion started.

"Nor do you seem that different to me," he stated and Lisbon was too stunned to say anything.

"So maybe it's your expectations that changed. You might wanna think about that."

He stepped out of the car and it took Lisbon a moment to gather her senses and follow him. She just stared at him as he locked the car and walked towards the building. She could have sworn that he mumbled something under his breath and it sounded suspiciously like "Rigsby", but that made no sense at all.


	8. Missed calls

A/N: Thank you so much for reading and/or commenting on my last chapter. I'm still surprised and a bit overwhelmed by the amount of people reading this story. Feedback (this also includes constructive criticism) is very much appreciated!

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Missed calls

Lisbon left the elevator, relieved to bring some distance between herself and Cho. He hadn't said a word since they had left the parking lot, but she'd once before thought that they'd finished their discussion, only to be proven wrong.

"Lisbon," she turned around. Abbott was standing in the door to his office. "Can I have a word with you?"

For a moment Lisbon felt as if someone had pulled the floor from under her feet. The expression on her boss's face drove everything that just had happened with Cho out of her mind. She'd been dreading this moment for a week and now it was happening.

"Sure," she said, surprised that her voice was still working. Lisbon wasn't sure her legs would hold her for much longer, so she sat down as soon as she was in Abbott's office. He closed the door and walked behind his desk.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon," he began and she saw the pain in his eyes. "I tried to talk to them..." he shook his head and sat down, "But, there was nothing I could do."

"It's ok," Lisbon told him, feeling strangely calm and detached.

Abbott sighed and Lisbon felt for him. He, however, didn't hesitate any longer, but came to the point immediately, something she was grateful for.

"I have no choice but to suspend you from active duty, effective immediately."

She'd been a boss herself, there was no easy way to say something like this. Being honest and direct, that was the best. Talking around it, trying to soften the blow...all of this would only make it worse for everyone involved. She would have handled it the same way in his place.

She nodded. "I understand."

"An internal investigation against you has been opened. Your suspension will be temporarily for now. If you're cleared of all charges, you'll be allowed to resume your position."

Lisbon nodded again, there wasn't much she could add.

Abbott had been all job-like so far, but his mask crumbled slightly, as he continued.

"Officially you'd be required to report to the magazine downstairs to hand in your badge and service weapon." Lisbon couldn't prevent to flinch at that thought.

"But I think it's easier if we do it here." He handed here a single sheet of paper.

"I need you to sign this and give me your gun and badge." He didn't look at her this time. Lisbon didn't hesitate. She just wanted to get over with this.

She opened her holster and took her gun out, removing the clip and laying both on the table between them. Surprisingly it almost felt worse to put her badge down as well. She still remembered the day she'd gotten it from Fischer. For the first time in a very long time she'd been hopeful about her future. She had a challenging job she loved and she was working with Jane again; everything had seemed perfect.

Life never was perfect and easy for her. Lisbon swallowed, maybe this would finally teach her that lesson for good.

Abbott took her things and put them in a white cardboard box. Her eyes followed his every movement as he put the box, together with the signed document, in a drawer under his desk.

Lisbon stood up.

"I tried to talk to them," Abbott said to her, and it almost sounded as if he tried to explain himself. "They wouldn't listen. I argued with your reputation back at the CBI, with all the people who would vouch for you," he sighed, "I even tried to reason with them that I couldn't lose another agent that shortly after Fischer's transfer. But all they gave me was until the end of the case."

Lisbon froze on the spot. "When did they contact you," she asked him, a suspicion forming in her mind.

"They called me the day after your meeting last week." He looked up at her. "I more and more think the hearing was just pretence, they planned to investigate from the beginning and nothing you could have said would have changed that."

"Did Jane know?" Lisbon asked.

Abbott blinked at her, clearly confused.

"Did you tell Jane that I'd be suspended by the end of the case?"

She saw the moment the realisation hit Abbott. He didn't even seem angry. "Well that explains a lot," he murmured, rather to himself than to her.

"Yes," he finally said as if suddenly remembered her question again. "As a matter of fact, he was in my office when they called."

Lisbon nodded, putting her hands in her pockets. "Well, I guess I'm leaving now."

"You can of course stay for the closed-case pizza," Abbott hastily added, "I'll organise you a visitors pass-".

Lisbon shook her head and stopped him. "Thank you, but I rather go now." She smiled at him, well aware that it didn't look very convincing.

Abbott nodded, but the moment she was at the door, he called her back.

"If there's anything I can do to help you, just let me now," he said.

"Thank you," Lisbon replied again, "I'll remember it."

She left the office and stepped to the side so that he couldn't see her any longer through the glass wall. She took a few deep breaths and her hands immediately went to the now empty holster. It all felt surreal, as if this was a nightmare and she would wake up any moment.

Voices in the distance reminded her that she wasn't alone in the building. She straightened her shoulders and walked over to her desk. Wylie was at his place but he didn't pay her much attention. Lisbon stared at her screen for a moment, trying to remember whether there was something on there she would need. She couldn't think of anything. She'd copied everything she had about Linda and Amanda days ago on to her private laptop. Another breach of FBI rules, she was getting good at this.

With a last glance at Jane's couch she took her purse and left the bullpen. She heard the voices of Cho and Jane from the break room and walked faster. She couldn't face them, not now. And especially not Jane - Jane! She stopped dead in her tracks and closed her eyes in exasperation. He still had her car keys.

She turned around, looking back towars the source of their voices. It was ridiculous, she could just go in there and ask for her keys. Seconds passed and she still hadn't moved. Without consciously deciding against it, she briskly turned around and walked to the elevator. She would take a cab. Her hands were slightly shaking as she pressed the button to summon the elevator. She needed some time to process what had happened, alone. She pressed the button again, anxious for the elevator to arrive. Jane or Cho could leave the break room any moment.

A heavy stone was lifted from her as she stepped inside the elevator and the doors closed behind her. Then she realised that she might just have seen the bullpen for the last time. She'd been an agent when she entered the building in the morning and she left it now as a suspect in an investigation. A heaviness settled around her heart, draining her of any feeling of relief. She might be able to run away from Jane and Cho, but she couldn't escape the truth of what just had happened.

* * *

Lisbon stared at her empty shot glass. She could still feel the burn of the alcohol in her throat, but it hadn't had the effect she had hoped for. She turned her head around sharply as the door opened, and the world started spinning for a moment. She put a hand on the bar to steady herself. That much about ordering another one; she definitely had had enough. She only wanted to forget for a while, she couldn't use a hangover the next day.

A young couple had entered the bar and Lisbon turned around again, relieved. It was ridiculous, he couldn't find her. She'd asked the cab driver to bring her to his favourite bar; not even Jane would manage to connect that in any way to her. Assuming that he was looking for her at all. She glanced at her phone on the counter. The three missed calls on her phone made it pretty likely though. She flinched as her phone started buzzing again that moment, turning slightly on the wooden surface.

She took it in her hand, staring at his name. She suddenly felt a strong urge to order another drink, but she suppressed it. She knew her limits. Any more and she'd regret it later.

It wasn't as if the alcohol had been of help anyhow. The numbness wasn't enough to calm her thoughts. On the contrary, it almost felt as if her mind dared to throw things at her that usually were hidden deep down in her subconsciousness.

She buried her face in her hands. She lost her badge; her job, and despite everything she couldn't stop thinking about Jane on top of everything else. It felt as if he was intertwined with all her worries. Probably because he wouldn't stop worrying about her.

She almost laughed. Not long ago, she had come to regret how he kept his distance ever since they worked their first case together for the FBI, him still being a detainee. Back then, she had told him to stay out of her life, to stay out of her decisions and for once he had chosen to listen to her. The problem was...she hadn't really meant it, she'd just been so angry that he'd run off again.

She had hated the distance between them...and now that he started take small steps towards her, now she was the one running away.

Changed expectations; that's what Cho had called it. She didn't need anyone to point that out; at least not when she had an honest moment. It was so much easier though, to pretend that she hadn't expected anything from Jane, that she simply came to Austin so that everything could go back to the way it had been. Not today, she couldn't lie to herself anymore. She'd had weak moments before, mostly late at night. She usually ended reading his letters on those occasions. Ever since he was back it felt ridiculous to do that. Was she honestly keeping him at a distance just to then reread his letters again and again? Another drink seemed more and more tempting, but she still managed to stay strong.

Staying strong that was all she could do now anyhow. Her expectations were not and had never been Jane's fault. He had never promised her anything; never. She was making him pay for something lately he wasn't to blame in the least. If she continued like this, he might disappear again one day, finally fed up with her being angry at him for the smallest things. To her horror her visions blurred at that thought and she blinked the tears away, angrily. She'd just lost her job, at least temporarily, she couldn't stand losing him too. If nothing else she'd rather have him as friend in her life, than not at all. She remembered only too well how much she'd missed him the two years in Washington.

Her phone was still in her hand, reminding her painfully of what she should do. He was worried, she owed him a call, or at least a text. She almost laughed, it was as if they had changed place. Jane was worrying about her, and she was the one hiding, ignoring his calls. She was the one sitting alone in a bar, slightly drunk, wallowing in self-pity about what could and couldn't be. Lisbon suddenly felt ashamed of herself. What the hell was she doing?

She looked for some money in her purse and got the barman's attention.

"You're not driving, aren't you?" he asked her as he handed her some change back. Lisbon shook her head, "No, I don't even have my car with me."

"Good. Shall I call you a cab?" he asked, putting the empty glass away.

"That would be nice, thank you." It would save her the call. "I'll wait outside."

The fresh air helped to clear her mind. And she needed to think straight, now more than ever. Her job was on the line after all. She clenched her hands to fists. Whoever was behind this would come to regret it. She would not give up that easily.

The cab arrived shortly afterwards and Lisbon didn't hesitate. She knew where she had to go.

* * *

Jane stared at his phone on the table. If he'd needed any more proof that there was nothing supernatural in the word, this was it. Not that he needed it, anyhow. He had willed her to call with such an intensity, he was sure that his phone should have burst into flames a long time ago. He chuckled slightly at the silliness of his thoughts. This was probably his mind trying to calm him. It didn't help, at least not for very long.

He stood up and started pacing the small airstream again. He'd checked all the places he could think of where she might retreat. Nothing. She hadn't been in her flat, nor her favourite park and definitely not the shooting range. He sighed, she'd anyway would have needed to go home first to get one of her own guns, which he was sure she possessed.

He would have known immediately where to find her in Sacramento, but here...they just hadn't been in Austin long enough. Or no, that wasn't entirely true. It wasn't the length of their stay, it was the fact that he had hardly spent any time with her alone. Not at work and even less so outside of it.

Maybe he just should check her house again, it was at least an hour since he'd been there. Plenty of time for her to get there. Jane didn't actually know what he would do if he found her. The way she was avoiding his calls indicated that she didn't want to see him. It didn't matter. He needed to see her, he needed to know that she was ok. He couldn't forget the way she had looked at him a week ago, when she'd asked him whether he thought it likely that she'd be suspended. She'd seemed so despaired, he didn't want to image how she would feel now.

He startled as someone knocked loudly against the airstream door. He almost fell over his feet trying to get to the door as quickly as possible. He'd recognise that knock every day.

"Lisbon!" he said as he opened the door.

She looked up at him, a tad of guilt shining through an attempted smile.

"Hey."

For a moment he just stared at her, noting every small detail. She seemed calm, but slightly defensive. She'd gotten his calls and ignored them on purpose, that must be where the guilt was coming from. Her hands were in her pockets, likely to prevent her from playing with her cross. She was still wearing the empty holster on her hip, he could see it partly hidden under her jacket.

"Can I come in?"she asked him and he stepped aside, so that she could walk past him. She wasn't as steady as usual. A few drinks, not really drunk, but not sober either.

He closed the door and helped her out of jacket, if only to have an opportunity to touch her.

"I tried to call you," he said and as suspected she flinched slightly at his words.

"I'm sorry." She sat down on the couch, "I just needed some time. I didn't mean to worry you."

He shrugged as he sat down besides her. "I guess I deserved this for once, considering all the times you were worrying about my whereabouts."

She smiled at him. "You probably could say that. I don't intend to make it a habit, though."

Jane smiled at her. "I'm glad to hear that. Honestly, I don't know how you managed it all the time." He realised a moment too late, that this probably wasn't the right topic to get into, so he quickly added. "Do you want something to drink? Or eat? I'm sure you didn't have dinner."

She shook her head. "I'm not hungry. But I'd like a cup of tea."

He stood up and filled the kettle with water. "I see, you finally developed some taste."

She grimaced at him. "I just don't want to learn what kind of coffee this kitchen would provide. Assuming of course you have coffee in here, at all."

Jane looked at her, mocked offended. "One of these days I'll make you a coffee." He patted the counter. "You don't do my kitchen justice, Lisbon, believe me, you'd be surprised."

She just rolled her eyes at him. "Sure."

He prepared two cups and sat down again, while they waited for the water to boil.

"How was the pizza?" she asked him.

"Well, it wasn't much of a celebration after Abbott told us the news." He looked at her. "Cho and Wylie are more than ever determined to help you. And I think Abbott's on board too, even if he has to be a bit more careful. He has more to lose if this goes wrong."

A smile played on his lips as he remembered her speech to Wylie in the morning. She had a frown between her eyes and he suspected that her thoughts went into a similar direction.

"I was serious today, Jane. I don't want any of you to risk your career over me. I'm not worth-"

"Don't," he said, not letting her finish, "Don't even start, Lisbon. We decide ourselves what we want to risk our career over or not, that's not your decision."

Lisbon opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again. The kettle whistled and Jane got up to prepare the tea.

She glared at him as he poured the water into their cups. He'd chosen an herbal tea, something calming without caffeine.

"I'm still angry at you," she said that moment, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"What you did wasn't right. You can't let a murderer walk free for days, just so that I can keep my job a while longer."

Jane sighed as she decided to talk about that. He half hoped that she forgot it because of everything that happened afterwards. It was a pointless discussion, they would never agree on this.

"However," she began and he looked at her, surprised.

"I might have overreacted a bit." She stared at her hands. "I know you just wanted to help. And while I don't agree with your methods, I can see why you did it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you."

Jane hadn't expected that.

"Okay," he said slowly, as he handed her a cup of tea. He watched her carefully, waiting for another "but". It didn't come.

He still felt the need to defend his actions. "I hoped that a few days more would be enough to find something."

"I know," she took a small sip and rested the still steaming cup against her knee.

"We will find something eventually," he told her.

She looked at him, a determined expression in her eyes.

"Yes, we will." She leaned back against the couch cushions and closed her eyes for a moment. "But not today. I don't want to think about it for a while." She looked at him, almost pleading.

"Of course," he said. Close up he saw how tired she looked. She'd been bordering on exhaustion for days.

"You should try to get a few hours of sleep," he said, as she emptied her tea.

"Yeah, you might be right." She stood up and put her cup down on the table. "I probably should head home."

Jane couldn't really explain why, but the idea of letting her leave now filled him with horror.

"No," he said hastily. She just raised her eyebrows at him.

"I mean, you can sleep here," he added. "You can have the bed," he pointed at the other couch, that was a pullout bed. "I'm used to sleeping on a couch."

Lisbon shook her head. "It's ok, Jane. It's not that far..." he could literally see the moment she realised that she couldn't drive home. He pulled her car keys out of his pocket and handed them to her.

"Your car is still at the office."

She sighed and sat down again. "I'm in no state to drive anyhow." She looked at him. "I could call a cab?" she suggested halfheartedly.

"Or you could not be so stubborn for once and accept my invitation."

She sighed again and he knew that he had her.

"Ok. You win. But I'll take the couch." She looked at his bed. "Not that it will make much of a difference."

He couldn't but grin at her.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the slow progress on both the case and the "Jisbon"-front. As a small teaser I can tell you, there'll be a hug in the next chapter. ;)


	9. Accepting help

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all your reviews and for reading this story. The number of comments I got for my last chapter was overwhelming. I never had that many reviews before for a single chapter. Thank you all so much. As usual, feedback (also constructive criticism) is very much appreciated.

* * *

 **Accepting help**

Jane was sitting outside the airstream, enjoying the morning sun. He turned around as the door behind him opened.

Lisbon stood in the door, her eyes squinted against the bright sunlight. Her blouse was a bit more crinkled than the day before, but otherwise nothing suggested that she slept in her clothes.

"Hey". He smiled at her.

He'd stepped outside with a book after he'd gotten up and taken a shower, not to disturb her sleep more than necessary. And also to give her some space if she finally woke up.

"Hi," she said, her voice still thick with sleep and not adjusted to talking.

"Did you turn my alarm off?"

Jane grinned at her even if he knew that too much cheeriness in the morning would only annoy her. Lisbon wasn't a morning person, even less so before her first coffee.

"Guilty as charged." He stood up in one smooth movement and pointed for her to sit down. "You needed the sleep."

She murmured something under her breath, but he didn't understand it. Which probably was for the better.

"I can't believe it's already nine. You should have woken me," she insisted.

Jane didn't bother to answer.

"Sit down," he said instead. "Now that you're up I'm gonna make us some breakfast."

She took a seat, stifling a yawn.

"That won't be necessary-."

He shook his head before she could continue.

"Of course it is." He stepped up to the door and looked back at her. "I need something to eat and considering that you don't have a car, you'll have no choice but to stay here until I'm ready to leave. You might as well just join me in having breakfast."

The part with her car wasn't entirely true, but she would learn that soon enough.

She'd taken up the book he'd left on the table, when he came back outside, balancing a tray on his hands. He placed a plate with eggs in front of her, together with a mug of coffee.

"Don't say you're not hungry," he warned her, before she could open her mouth.

"I wasn't going to."

She took a fork full of egg before he even had time to sit down. Jane grinned to himself.

"No need to look so pleased," she scolded him. "I only eat because I'm stuck here."

"Sure," he said, "keep telling that to yourself."

A smile flashed across her face and she couldn't hide it quickly enough. He watched her closely a she took a sip from her coffee. She stopped for a moment.

"And?" he asked, remembering their discussion from the evening before.

She shrugged, but he could see the smile playing on her lips.

"Not too bad."

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Ok," she admitted, "it's pretty good."

"That sounds better." He grinned and took a sip of his tea.

They ate mostly in silence and Lisbon was the one to finish first. She leaned back in her chair, seemingly deep in thoughts.

Jane suspected that the worry-free part of their morning was approaching its end. He pushed his now empty plate back, waiting for her to say something.

"Shouldn't you be in the office by now?" she finally asked him and she didn't completely succeed in hiding the pain in her voice, as she specifically said "you".

Jane shook his head. "No. It's the day after we solved a case, they're doing paperwork, which means I wouldn't be of help anyhow."

He thought it too early to inform her that he didn't intend to go to work at all, and not just that day.

"What's the plan now?" he asked her instead.

She didn't look at him, but stared at her hands. "I wish I knew." She seemed surprised by her own honesty, and so was he. She held her cup of coffee with both hands and turned it slowly on the table.

"Do you think I should go and talk to him?"

He knew immediately whom she was referring to.

"I don't know," he said honestly. He'd given the same question a fair amount of thought over the last days, but he just couldn't decide what their best option was.

"He's going to expect it," she said, "assuming of course, that he really is behind all of this."

Jane just nodded. "Which is exactly the point. I guess talking to him would help us determine whether this is his doing, or not."

Lisbon hesitated for a moment and Jane had an idea where here mind was going. There was a reason why they'd hardly talked about Volker so far. Linking him in any way to an apparent suicide seemed hopeless. They needed more before they even could think about accusing him openly.

"It clearly won't help my credibility with Internal Affairs," Lisbon said slowly. As far as they knew, part of the charges against her had something to do with unprofessional behaviour towards Volker. Talking to him would only confirm the investigator's suspicion that Lisbon had her target set on Volker.

"No, it won't." He considered his next words carefully. He was sure they would result in another argument.

"Maybe I should talk to him instead. Even if they'd assume that I'll be doing it on your wish, they wouldn't be able to prove it and held it against you."

Lisbon narrowed her eyes at him.

"Volker is in California," she informed him. "You can't just fly there and have a chat with him, Jane."

"Why not? I'm no longer a prisoner, Lisbon. I can leave the State any time I want."

She shook her head at him. "That's not what I meant. You're not suspended, Jane. You still have a job here in Austin, remember? I doubt it that Abbott would allow you to leave now, even if only for a few days. Not with the unit already down to three."

He sighed, bracing himself for a long discussion.

"Lisbon, I'm not going back to work until this is sorted out."

She just gaped at him.

"This," he pointed at the table, "is much more important than work."

"Don't be ridiculous, Jane," Lisbon snapped at him, she apparently had found her voice again.

"You can't risk your understanding with Abbott over me. We're not only talking about a job here, they might arrest you if you violate the agreement!"

It maybe wasn't the best idea to remind her of that, but she left him no other choice.

"You were part of that agreement too, in case you've forgotten that."

"A job offer, Jane," she said exasperated, "that was the condition. An offer, not a free pass to do whatever I want and keep it. This is an official investigation, you're deal won't protect me, nor you, if you don't behave reasonable."

She stood up, seemingly unable to sit still any longer.

"This is bad enough without you risking your freedom, Jane. How do you think I'd feel if they would lock you up because of me? Do you think it would be of any help to me, if we both ended up in prison?"

He shook his head, a knowing smile on his lips.

"You know that's not going to happen. Abbott wouldn't do that. He likes me, he enjoys the way I work and he even told me he's willing to help. He's on your side; on our side."

He looked up at her. "We're wasting our time, here. You're not going to change my mind, so let's spare ourselves all the arguing and talk about what really matters."

She stared at him for a moment, then suddenly sat down again and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"What are you suggesting then," she asked. "That we both fly to California?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. That's exactly what I think we should do. Wait-",he said as she opened her mouth to object, "let me finish first. It's the only logical thing to do. Let's be honest, we're at a dead end here, Lisbon. The bank account is the only thing we have, and it's not looking promising. We need something new, and we need it fast."

She looked at her hands. "You want to talk to Linda's parents?"

"Among other things, yes. They're the only ones that can help us shed some light on what she might have been doing in Austin."

Lisbon leaned back in her chair, taking a deep breath. "And I assume you still want to see the old CBI files?"

"Correct again," Jane smiled at her. "We have to get our hands on the files, we have to know what we're dealing with. Maybe they didn't alter the originals-"

"Or they're stolen," Lisbon interjected drily, "and we won't be any wiser."

Jane shrugged. "Not even internal affairs could ignore stolen files, they'd had to look into this in more detail. If nothing else, it would give us time."

She kept silent for a moment and he knew that she agreed with him. She'd known exactly what he wanted to do, because she'd considered all of it herself. The only thing he didn't understand was why she was hesitating. Of course there was a certain risk to it. If internal affairs got the impression that she tried to manipulate the investigation in any way, she would be in even more trouble than she was now. They had to do something though, if they wanted to prove that she was innocent. Jane sighed, he would go alone if she'd let him but he knew that he didn't even have to make that suggestion.

"It would also allow us to speak with Volker," Lisbon said that moment.

He frowned at her. "I thought we agreed that I'll talk to him alone."

"We surely did not agree to that," Lisbon said firmly.

Jane smiled to himself; it had been worth a try.

"Well, there'll be plenty enough time to discuss all of this over the next days." He stood up and stretched.

"First of all, we need to get going. I'll pack a few things and then we head over to your place. We can get the tickets later at the airport, or I ask Wylie to organise them for us."

Lisbon still sat on her chair, shaking her head in disbelief.

"We're really doing this, aren't we?" she murmured, rather to herself than anyone else. Jane just grinned.

"Come on. We don't have the whole day, especially not after you slept half the morning."

Her head shot up in a second. "Only because you didn't wake me!" She stopped as she saw his grin and couldn't prevent a smile herself.

"Go get your stuff, then," she ordered him, suddenly very bossy. "I'm going to take care of the dishes." His grin widened. "As you wish."

* * *

She glared at him as they drove towards her house 20 minutes later. "I still can't believe you lied to me," she said. "My car was there the whole evening and you didn't say a word." She pointed at him accusingly. "No, even worse. You told me it's at the office."

He sighed. "Does it matter? You were in no state to drive, anyhow. I just wanted to avoid any more discussions."

She murmured something that sounded suspiciously like idiot, but he knew that she wasn't really angry. He took his phone out of his pocket.

"Who are you calling?" Lisbon asked him, slightly suspicious.

"Abbott." He didn't need to look at her to sense her body tense up.

"Don't worry," he assured her, "he'll be fine with it."

Ten minutes and quite a tiring discussion later Jane smiled at her. "See? Everything alright."

It hadn't been easy, and Abbott sure hadn't been too happy about the whole situation, but in the end he'd given in. He'd even wished him good luck, what more could you ask for?

Lisbon still seemed tense; something else seemed to worry her.

"You're sure this is a good idea?" she asked him that moment, eyes firmly on the road.

"Of course it is." He studied her carefully, noting how tightly she griped the steering wheel.

"Hey," he said softly and she glanced at him for a moment. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. "Yeah, it's just," she threw another short glance in his direction. "Maybe I should go alone."

He suppressed a sigh, he'd thought they had finished that particular discussion.

"Didn't you hear? Abbott's fine with it."

She didn't look at him and Jane's heart felt. What if she didn't want him there? To his horror he realised that he never had asked her whether she wanted his company. Once again he'd just assumed to know what was best for her. His throat suddenly felt very dry.

"Is that what you want?" he asked her, dreading her answer. "I mean," he swallowed, "I thought I could help you, but if you don't want me there..."

She looked at him, almost horrified.

"No, that's-" she shook her head and took a deep breath. "That's not what I meant, Jane. It's just..." She sighed and despite a full night of sleep, she looked weary again. She parked the car in front of her house and killed the engine.

"Abbott might be on our side, but IA clearly are not. We have to be very careful. What we're planning here is dangerous. All this is bad enough on its own without..." She stopped again. "I just don't want them to start digging in your files. As long as they focus on me alone, you'll be safe at least."

During his time at the CBI there had been more than one case where he'd overstepped the law. A very thorough investigation of all their files might reveal something, Jane was very well aware of that, but it didn't bother him.

"Teresa," he began, knowing that the use of her first name would give his words even more sincerity.

"Stop worrying about me. Someone is targeting you, you alone. For once in your life forget about everyone else. I want to help you and I don't care about the consequences, so neither should you. How many times did you put your neck on the line for me? Just this one time let me do the same."

She had her hands on the wheel again, her knuckles white. "I'm not sure I can do that, Jane."

He put one of his hands on hers, and she looked at him. "You're not the only person worrying, you know? Let me come with you, please?"

He hold his breath while he waited for her response. He knew that part of her must be scared, that she didn't want to do all of this alone.

"Okay," she finally said, not looking at him. "You can come with me. But no tricks, do you hear me? You're not going to do anything stupid without talking to me first?"

He nodded. "I promise, I'll be on my best behaviour."

* * *

"I'll take a quick shower and pack a few things." She made a waiving gesture that included both her TV and a large bookshelf. "The remote is on the coffee table and there's some books to keep you occupied. It won't be long."

Jane walked over to the shelves, his eyes roaming over the book titles. "Take you're time," he said without turning around. An old picture draw his interest. He couldn't prevent a smile. It showed a much younger Lisbon, not more than 16. She was together with her brothers. He turned around to tease her about it, but she'd already left.

He looked at the picture again and the smile dropped from his face. She had an arm protectively laid around her youngest brother. Already at a young age she'd made it her first priority to take care of others. Helping people in need had also been her motivation to become a police officer. It was rooted so deeply in her to worry about everyone, trying to help wherever she could. Jane sighed, if only she would sometimes allow other people to do the same for her.

He discovered a seashell on one of the higher shelves and took it cautiously in his hands. It was the on he'd sent her from Venezuela. He remembered the day he found it at the beach as if it had been yesterday.

He'd found many broken ones before, shattered on the rocks. He'd lifted this particular one from the ground, convinced to find part of it missing too, but to his surprise the shell had been intact. Not even a crack was to be found on its smooth surface. A single strong survivor among all the broken pieces. It immediately had reminded him of her. To be fair, almost everything had seemed to remind him of her during his exile.

He put the shell back and that was when his eyes fell on a wooden box directly behind it. He couldn't remember having seen it before, neither in her office nor her old apartment in Sacramento. His curiosity got the better of him and he carefully opened the lid of the box. His breath caught in his throat as he saw a glimpse of familiar old paper.

She'd kept them! Neatly ordered, one next to the other. He took the box from the shelf and opened it completely. His hands were trembling as he carefully brushed over the letters. They were all there, every single one. His heart beat painfully hard in his chest as he pulled one out of the box. The paper was worn and crinkled; she must have read them countless times. His hands were shaking that strongly now that he had difficulties to place the letter back into the box. Something else caught his eye. A small brown paper bag was at the end of the box, hidden behind the letters. The bag rustled as he opened it and he paused for a moment, but Lisbon was still nowhere to be seen. He only needed to see a glimpse of the turquoise ceramic to know what he was holding in his hands. The box almost fell out of his hands at the sight.

She'd kept the pieces of his cup. She picked the broken pieces up from the floor and kept them.

He closed the box again; it was almost too painful to look at. Very carefully he put everything onto the shelf and took a step back.

He'd tried to convince himself on his island that she was happy, that he was the only one longing for her presence in an intensity that was almost physically painful. Well, he'd always been good in pretending that she was fine and his behaviour didn't hurt her. But he had hurt her, more than once. It never had stopped her from caring for him though, apparently not even long after he'd left her.

Jane looked at the ring on his finger. He was a coward. He'd known what she felt for him for years, but again he'd chosen to ignore it, to persuade himself that it wasn't true. It had been so much easier to pretend that it had been nothing but friendship. He'd ignored the fact that she hadn't been in a meaningful relationship in years. He had told himself that she _wanted_ to be alone, that she simply didn't need anyone in her life. She probably persuaded herself of that too, keeping everyone at a distance not to get hurt. She hadn't managed to keep him away completely though and he had hurt her again and again over the years. And at the same time she'd been the one thing that kept him sane, the light in his years of darkness.

She should hate him and instead she kept a box with his letters and pieces of a broken teacup. She'd waited for him for so long, likely without any hope but still not giving up. He took a deep breath. The idea of letting anyone close to him again was terrifying, but it was too late anyhow. He couldn't imagine a life without her. He looked at the box again and it filled him with courage. He'd made her wait long enough.

* * *

Lisbon closed her bag on the bed and sat down beside it. She needed a minute before she returned to the living room. She'd been suspended and decided to travel to California in less than 24 hours, it was all happening so fast. Part of her was afraid that she was making a mistake. Not by going to Sacramento, but by allowing Jane to help her. He had experienced more than his fair share of tragedy in life; he didn't need anything more. Lisbon ignored the faint voice in her head, reminding her that the same could probably be said about her. The voice sounded suspiciously like Jane.

The truth was, Lisbon didn't want to go alone. She never would have admitted it to him, but she was scared. She shook her head to snap herself out of those thoughts. Brooding clearly wouldn't help her. She pulled her still damp hair back in a ponytail and walked back to the living room. Jane was still standing in front of the bookshelves, his back to her. He turned around as she dropped her bag audibly onto the floor.

"I'm ready," she said, "We can-" She didn't manage to finish the sentence. Jane had approached her and before she could do more than stare at him in surprise, she found herself in his arms.

"Jane?" she asked tentatively, but he only shook his head, holding her firmly against him. Lisbon closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax into him, her arms embracing him in return. Without thinking she buried her face in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply. Almost instantly she felt herself calm down. Surrounded by warmth and his familiar scent everything seemed to fade away until there was nothing left but him.

Jane exhaled loudly and the warm breath against her neck caused a shiver to run along her spine. Jane tightened his grip for a moment, before he took a step back and released her.

She blinked at him a few times in confusion. What had just happened?

"What was that for?" she asked him slightly shaken.

Jane shrugged. "Don't know," he murmured, unusually flustered as well. "I just felt like it."

He looked at her, a strange expression on his face she couldn't interpret. The next moment he visible pulled himself together and took a step back.

"Do you have everything," he asked her casually, picking her bag up from the floor.

She just stared at him for a few seconds longer, before she gathered her senses.

She cleared her throat. "Almost"

She opened a hidden drawer under one of her bookshelves, which revealed a small black case.

Jane rolled his eyes at her. "A gun, really? If we miss our flight because you have to check _that_ in," he said, pointing at the small Glock she'd just taken out of the box, "you owe me something."

Lisbon snapped the case closed again and frowned at him. "We don't even have tickets, yet. How can we miss a flight without them? Besides, I can think of more than one situation where my annoying guns saved your ass."

Jane grinned at her. "Touché."

* * *

A/N: I know the letters and the teacup have been covered in so many other (and much better!) stories before mine, but I just couldn't resist it. I hope you don't mind.


	10. Going round in circles

A/N: I'm very sorry it took so long this time. I had a bad week and only managed to write at all the last two days. I guess that's also the reason why this chapter turned out much more emotional than I originally intended. It somehow developed a life of it's own. If you think Jane or Lisbon behaved out of character, please tell me. The chapter is also very short, sorry again, but I thought to give you something, even if not much, is better than have you wait even longer. Again, there wasn't much progress when it comes to the case, but don't worry, that's going to change soon.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting this story. It means a lot to me, at the moment even more so.

* * *

 **Going round in circles**

Lisbon let herself fall in the seat beside Jane. They plane was only half full and Lisbon initially had been in the row in front of him, trying to read. He looked up at her with raised eyebrows.

"I thought you wanted a quiet place to read?" he closed the folder on his lap.

Lisbon shrugged.

"It's pointless going through the files for the 100th time", she said.

"Well..."Jane began slowly, "I told you that ten minutes ago, but you insisted..."

"Am I not allowed to change my mind?" She was already getting slightly annoyed again. He lifted his hands in self-defence.

"I'm just surprised, that's all." A short pause. "Is everything alright?"

Lisbon sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. She was doing it again. Snapping at him for no reason at all.

"I'm sorry", she murmured, "I just couldn't concentrate." She looked at him. "I can go again, if you'd like to read?"

"No", he immediately answered and took her files out of her hands to throw them together with the one on his lap on the empty seat between him and the window.

"You're having a headache again", he remarked a moment later, a worried expression on his face.

"No", Lisbon lied. He just continued to look at her and she wavered under his glance.

"Ok, maybe", she admitted, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Perhaps she should have stayed in her own row. She didn't really know why she'd come back in the first place. Because she hadn't wanted to be alone, a slight voice at the back of her head reminded her.

"You're too tense all the time", Jane explained. "You have to relax your shoulders, Lisbon. No wonder your head is hurting."

"What do you expect after close to three hours on crappy airplane seats?"

She hated flying. The first two hours she'd been able to cope, but ever since they changed plane in Phoenix she had enough.

Jane just shook his head. "Well, I don't have a stiff neck."

"That's just because you're so used to sleeping on uncomfortable couches."

She saw the hint of a grin on his face.

"So now it's the fault of my couch?"

"Just forget it", she said, wishing again that she'd stayed one row in front of him. She didn't really mean it, though. It was strangely familiar and comforting to banter with Jane about something silly as this.

"I could help you, if you'd let me", he said that moment and she shook her head before he could finish his sentence.

"I'm not letting you hypnotise me!"

He was clearly grinning now. "Well, that actually wasn't what I wanted to suggest, but it would work too, I'm sure of it."

She just glared at him.

"No, I wanted to offer you a neck massage."

"I'm fine", she hastily said. "I don't need anything, Jane." The idea of his hands on her shoulders and neck made her shiver and she could feel the heat in her cheeks. She looked away, hoping fervently that he wouldn't notice it.

She took a deep breath, deciding that it was time to move their conversation to into a safer area, even if this meant talking about more serious topics.

"We should discuss what we're doing as soon as we're there."

"I'd say we rent a car and look for a motel...preferentially with a bed to sleep in and not just a couch."

She didn't have to turn around to know that he was still grinning at her.

"I'm serious", she said, facing him. "We have to decide what our next steps are."

Jane sighed. "I'm serious too, Lisbon. It's gonna be close to ten until we're in the city, maybe even later depending on the traffic around the airport. We're not going to do anything this evening."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I didn't say anything about today. I'd just like to plan the next days."

She waited for him to object, but he didn't.

"I talked to Cho while you were getting some tea in Phoenix. I had him check on Volker and it seems he's allowed to receive visitors. It might be easier if we just go there and pretend we're old friends paying a visit, instead of trying to do it over the FBI."

She was glad to see that Jane seemed very focused suddenly.

"You want to talk to him first thing tomorrow, before we had a look at the files?"

Lisbon nodded. "We need to know what we're dealing with. Besides, if it really is Volker behind all of this, I very much doubt it that the files still will be there."

Jane remained silent for a moment, obviously pondering about something.

"Did Cho say anything else?" he asked her.

"No", her answer came a bit to fast.

She cleared her throat. "There are a few other things we should talk about before we land."

Jane raised an eyebrow at her, clearly seeing through her ploy to distract him from his question.

"I want to make a few things very clear", she began.

"Please, Lisbon", Jane rolled his eyes at her and she felt a surge of anger rush through her.

"You might be able to intimidate Wylie, but..."

"No, you're going to listen now, Jane." He opened his mouth to object but something in her eyes must have made him change his mind.

"I'm in charge, here. This is about me, Jane, which means I'm going to take the decisions. I don't want you running off on your own doing something stupid."

"I already promised you that this afternoon", he interjected, sounding a tad offended.

"You tell me about your plans beforehand, not after we're already in the middle of one of your schemes. And If anything goes wrong, anything at all, I'm gonna take the blame, I and nobody else, are we clear?"

"How often are you gonna mention that?" he asked, now clearly annoyed.

"I got it. Don't do anything, Jane. Don't let anyone see you with me, or near the former CBI, or Volker. Would you like me to hide in a motel room for the next days?"

Lisbon just stared at him, mouth slightly open. Jane never lost his temper. The only times he'd talked to her like this had been while still hunting Red John. For a moment she didn't know what to say.

"I didn't come with you to sit back and do nothing, Lisbon. I told you so earlier and I'm going to repeat it as often as needed until you finally get it. I want to help you. I'm worried and I don't give a damn about my future."

He spoke louder and Lisbon for once was immensely relived that hardly anyone was on the plane with them.

"Do you honestly think I'd continue working for the FBI if they fire you? I don't care about my job, I never have."

"But...", Lisbon began tentatively, Jane however didn't let her finish.

"You know what", he said abruptly, "I think I changed my mind. I'd like to read for a while. If you wouldn't mind." He took one of the folders and opened it, demonstratively no longer looking at her.

"At least one of us should try to save your neck, and you're obviously to worried about keeping everyone else safe than to care about your own damn future."

Lisbon felt as if someone had punched her. Her mind was completely blank and she just stared at him awe-struck. It wasn't like her to not respond, but she just couldn't think of anything to say. Instead she decided to flee, which anyway seemed to be what he wanted her to do, at least if the way he was ignoring her was anything to go by.

She didn't take a folder with her, and only partly because this would have required her to lean over him to get it. She was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to concentrate on it anyhow. Jane didn't get angry, not like this, not towards her.

One row of seats between them was not nearly enough for her taste. She found a row in the front part of the plane, with only one elderly woman sitting at the window.

"Is this seat free", she asked, embarrassed at how shaken her voice sounded.

"Of course", the woman smiled at her. Lisbon recognized a pitiful smile when she saw it… it seemed the whole plane had heard their discussion.

Lisbon sat down on the aisle seat and closed her eyes. What the hell had just happened?

"Are you alright, dear?"

She turned around. She knew the woman just wanted to help, but she was making an already embarrassing situation even worse.

"I'm fine", she murmured and managed something like a smile, not very convincingly though, based on the woman's next words.

"It will be fine. Even the best couples fight from time to time. My former husband I had our moments too." She laughed and Lisbon realized with something close to shock that her seat neighbour though she and Jane were together.

She opened her mouth to object, but decided against it the last moment. She was tired of talking and in the end it didn't matter what other people thought.

She forced another smile and closed her eyes, in the hope that this would stop any further questions, or comments.

Lisbon only wanted to pretend being asleep, but despite the chaos in her mind and the noise in the airplane she felt herself doze off after a while. She barely registered as suddenly something soft was placed around her. She slowly opened her eyes, blinking a few times before her vision cleared. Someone had put a blanket over her. She sat up, holding on to the soft fleece. As she turned her head she just saw Jane sitting back down in his seat.

"See", the elder woman said that moment, with an "I told you so" expression on her face. "It will be fine."

Lisbon ignored her. She played with the thought to get up and walk back to Jane but that moment the seatbelt sign above her head turned on and a voice over the loudspeaker announced that they started their descend towards Sacramento. She sighed and leaned back in her seat.

* * *

Lisbon sat on her bed, looking at the watch on the bedside table. It was after midnight, but there was no chance she would be able to sleep now. With a sigh she stood up and walked to the door. She needed some air. She stepped outside and propped her arms on the railing.

The only noise was coming from a road nearby, the motel itself seemed very quiet. Lisbon looked at the sky, brightly illuminated by the lights of the city, she could hardly see any stars.

Jane hadn't said much since they left the plane. She'd hated the silence in the car but whenever she started gathering the courage to say something, she'd looked at him and backed down again. He'd been the one to finish their discussion, so it should be him to start it again. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

She flinched as she heard a door opening. She didn't have to turn around to know that it was Jane. She hold her breath for a moment, awaiting what he would do. Was he looking for her, or had he simply wanted a bit of fresh air himself?

Her heart beat painfully hard in her chest as she heard him approach her and finally felt his elbow brush against hers, as he leaned on the balustrade beside her.

"Couldn't you sleep?"

She shook her head, still not looking at him.

"No."

"Well, that happens if you sleep the whole morning and part of the plane ride."

She could hear the smile in his voice and turned around, surprised. His expression turned serious the moment their eyes met.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon", he said softly. "I didn't mean to shout at you, it's just…" He sighed, looking out into the night.

"You can be pretty exhausting sometimes."

She laughed. "That's something people say about you, Jane. Not me."

He faced her again. "Well, recently you sometimes act like I used to. Maybe I was a bad influence."

She shook her head, a sad smile on her lips.

"You know that's not true."

He shrugged and she still could feel his eyes on her.

"I'm sorry, too", she finally said. "I know you want to help and…" She took a deep breath and started again. "I know I have difficulties accepting help. It's just so much easier to risk something for someone else, than to have them risk something for me in return."

He smiled. "Well, that's because you're a control freak, and the most selfless person I've ever met."

"I'm not." He just let her answer stay like that, but he didn't need to say anything. She knew herself that there was a certain truth to his statement, at least to the first part.

"You better start getting used to it", Jane said calmly. "I have no intentions of letting you scare me away. I'm gonna help you, whether you like it or not."

He waited until she looked at him. "Do both of us a favour and stop trying to push me away, okay?"

Lisbon turned her face away; she felt a sudden lump in her throat.

"Okay", she whispered. For a moment no one said a word.

"I do care", Lisbon suddenly said even if she'd hardly managed to get the words out. She needed him to know, even if it almost physically hurt her to admit it. She couldn't explain why this was so difficult for her.

She clenched her hands to fists, to prevent them from shaking.

"I do care about my future." She spoke very softly now, her next words hardly more than a whisper.

"I'm scared, Jane."

The cars down on the parking lot got blurry, as tears welled up in her eyes. She turned away from him, so that he wouldn't see them. She was almost panting for breath now; it felt as if everything was closing in around her.

"Hey", Jane said softly and she felt his hand on her back. His touch was almost too much and it took her all the effort not to burst into tears.

"It's going to be fine, Teresa", he said, drawing soothing circles on her back with his hand.

She just nodded, not trusting her voice that moment.

"I promise", he said, repeating his words from over a week ago, when she for the first time mentioned the possibility of getting suspended.

She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears. Part of her wanted to walk away, lock herself into her room so that he couldn't see her like this. Another part of her wanted nothing more than for him to hold her. In the end she just stayed were she was, concentrating on her breathing and his hand on her back. Slowly she felt herself calm down. Jane didn't walk away, but he also didn't attempt to come closer, probably afraid that he might chase her away at any moment.

The calmer she was, the more embarrassed she felt. He still hadn't pulled back his hand.

Lisbon cleared her throat, trying to sound casually.

"We probably should try to get some sleep."

His hand moved to her shoulder and stayed there.

"That's probably a good idea", he said, then adding slowly. "But we also could stay here a while longer. We don't have to talk if you don't want to, we can just stand here and watch the sky."

There was so much concern and affection is his voice, it was almost enough to have her tear up again. And he was right. She didn't want to go, she didn't want to be alone right now. So they stayed. Neither of them spoke a word; they just stared into the night. Jane was standing so close now, that their shoulders were touching and he took her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers.


	11. Coldness

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all your comments and for reading the last chapter. It made a bad week better. I'm so sorry that I didn't reply to each of you in person, but I just had so much to do and it kind of felt silly to answer almost a week later. I decided to focus instead on writing the next chapter quickly and not having you wait any longer than necessary. From now on I'll again try to answer to each review separately.

* * *

 **Coldness**

Lisbon leaned over and opened the passenger seat door for Jane, as he came running towards the car. It had started raining that morning and he shook his head as he sat down beside her.

"Your coffee", he said, handing her a steaming paper cup.

"Thank you." She took a deep sip and closed her eyes in pleasure. That was exactly what she needed now.

A rustling noise to her right reminded her of Jane's presence. He took a bearclaw out of a paper bag and handed it to her. His tea was between them in one of the two cupholders on the console.

"A sad substitute for eggs", he mumbled, as he took a bite of his raspberry muffin.

"No blueberries?" Lisbon asked in surprise and received a frown as response.

"Don't remind me. They didn't have any", he sighed and Lisbon chuckled, given his serious expression. Only Jane could make such a big deal out of breakfast.

"I would be careful...", he warned her, "or I might accidentally buy you decaf next time."

"You wouldn't dare!"

He grinned. "No, I guess I wouldn't. But only because you have your gun hidden somewhere in this car."

He looked around as if to locate it and she shook her head at him.

"Eat up", she said, finishing off her bearclaw. "Visiting hours are only in the morning and it's at least half an hour drive to get there."

Jane very carefully removed the paper from his muffin and took a bite, deliberately slow, she was sure of it.

"I'm not the one driving, which means there's no reason we can't be on our way while I'm still eating."

He had a point. Lisbon took another sip of her coffee, before she placed it in the still empty cupholder.

She glanced at Jane from time to time as she pulled out of the parking lot and merged her car into the morning traffic. He was the same as usual, there was nothing indicating that he'd witnessed her almost-breakdown the evening before. She still felt embarrassed, only thinking about it, but Jane's behaviour definitely made it easier for her. He wouldn't handle her with kid gloves because of it, or look at her full of pity, or as if he was afraid she might break at any moment. Not Jane. That's why she allowed herself in the first place to admit to him that she was scared. She wouldn't have said that to anyone else.

It was a weird thought, but despite the fact that they'd been separated for two years, he was still the person she trusted most in this world.

For a short moment, she wondered whether he felt the same about her. He was so guarded around everyone, including herself; it was hard to read him.

She smiled too herself. You wouldn't expect different from the expert in reading anyone else. Who else, if not Jane, would know best how to hide behind a mask.

He was changing, though, despite what Cho said a few days go. It was hard to explain and Lisbon wasn't really sure whether this was his doing or hers, but something between them had shifted. The distance that had separated them ever since they solved their first case together for the FBI was shrinking. It was still there sometimes, but not all the time.

"Wasn't that our exit?" Jane asked that moment, looking out of the window.

"What!" Her heart skipped a beat and she looked into the rear mirror. There was no exit.

She glared at Jane, but he was just chuckling to himself.

"Just making sure you're still focusing on the road."

Lisbon felt a slight blush creep into her cheeks, remembering what she'd just thought about.

"Very funny. If I'd pulled a full-stop in surprise, I'd like to see whether you'd still be smiling." It would have served him right to spill his tea all over himself.

"Come on, Lisbon. We both know better than that. You're a way to good driver to do that."

She bit the nasty answer back that came to her mind, after all he'd just paid her a compliment. Kind of.

"Good I'm the one driving, and not you." She said instead, leaving the highway as their exit appeared in front of them, this time for real.

"Meh. If I'd been driving, there wouldn't have been the need for me to shout, so it's a moot point."

She felt him looking at her. "You seemed awfully deep in thought back there. Feel the need to share?"

"No."

He sighed. "An answer as predictable as your driving skills."

She snorted and glared at him.

"Am I'm boring you?"

"Oh no." He flashed her a smile. "Never. In fact, I think you're one of few people on this planet never boring me."

"What a relief", she said sarcastically. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of showing how glad she was about such a silly statement. Which of course didn't mean that he wouldn't know it anyhow; this was Jane, after all.

She yawned, wishfully looking at her empty coffee cup. She might need a second one, before she faced Volker. Her hands tightened around the steering wheel at that thought; Volker. She never expected to see him again. Not after she'd made her last testimony on the stand during his trial years ago.

"I think I'll let you do the talking", Jane said that moment, his thoughts apparently also focusing on what was ahead of them.

Lisbon was surprised by his words. After his little speech the day before, she hadn't expected him to hang back.

Jane seemed to guess what she was wondering about.

"I think it will be easier for me to judge his reaction, if I let you take the lead." He hesitated a moment, before he grimaced. "Besides, I don't know how I'll react if it's obvious that' he's the one. It's probably safer if I stay a step behind you."

Lisbon frowned at him, she remembered only to well that Jane could be very unrestrained, especially if he was annoyed or angered. More than once he'd said things that had resulted in a formal complaint on her desk. It was however very unlike him to loose his temper in crucial situations. Lisbon remembered his outburst on the plane the day before. She didn't seem to be the only one on the edge these days.

"Just be careful, Jane." She warned him. "The last thing we need is Volker accusing us of something, even more so with IA watching. It will be only a matter of time until they figure out we've talked to him."

He looked at her. "Don't worry, Lisbon. I know what's at stake."

* * *

"We're here to see Thomas Volker", Lisbon said to the man sitting behind a glass wall under a faded sign reading "Visitor reception". It sounded more like a request than anything else and Jane had to surpress a smile. Badge or no badge, she sounded like a cop.

The guard mustered her and him for a moment. "Your names?"

"Teresa Lisbon and Patrick Jane." Lisbon crossed her arms in front of her chest; A slightly defensive posture. At some point he should teach her some basic body langue rules.

Jane stepped a bit closer, as he saw a frown appear on the guards face while he consulted his screen.

"You're not on the list of approved visitors for Mr. Volker", he said without looking up.

"You can't just show up here and visit him. There are regulations. You have to send an official request and only after you've been approved, you can come back again. You'll find the necessary forms online, it might take a week or two."

Jane studied the desk of the guard. He counted four pictures of his wife and kids. A family man.

Lisbon seemed lost for a moment. He saw her hand reach unconsciously for her belt, but there was no badge clipped to it; not now. He decided to step in, despite his assurances that he'd let her lead.

"Oh no", he said, putting an arm around Lisbon. She stiffened immediately, but the guard luckily was paying more attention to him.

"I'm so sorry, officer. We didn't know that." He sighed and pulled her closer. "Thommy is an old friend of ours and I wanted to surprise my fiancée and bring the old gang back together."

He shook his head. "It was such a shock to hear that Thommy is in prison. I couldn't get hold of him, but you know", he laughed, "he'd always been too busy to reply, even back in school and we went years without hearing from him. I never thought...", he stopped, as if saying it aloud was too painful, "…I never thought he might be in prison. We came all the way from Texas", he continued, "even if Teresa hates flying, but I promised to her it would be worth it. First, the shock to find he's in prison and now we can't even see him…"

The guard looked at him and Jane mouthed, nodding his head towards Lisbon.

" _She'll be so disappointed_."

Lisbon seemed in shock, or at least she hadn't said a single word since he began talking. Which wasn't too bad. Her silence could probably be misinterpreted as sadness, even desperation.

"Texas, eh?" the guard repeated. "That's a long way."

He looked around, as if to check whether anyone was listening.

"Okay, then", he said finally. "I'll make an exception, but just this once."

He passed them some forms. "You have to fill this out. And I need to see some identification."

"Of course", Jane said, smiling at him.

"Isn't that great?" he said to Lisbon. "The nice officer helps us! I told you it will be fine."

She just nodded, but as the guard faced his screen again, smiling to himself, she glared at him.

A few minutes and about five forms later they were allowed into a small waiting area until they would be brought into the actual visitors room. A handful of people was standing around in the room.

Lisbon was still frowning at him. "Fiancéé?" she asked him as soon as they were out of earshot of the guards in the room.

He grinned. Naturally that was the part she'd hated most.

"Didn't you see all the pictures? He was a true romantic, proud of his family...I knew I'd get him around if I played the caring boyfriend part."

Lisbon just shook her head at him.

"Look I could only see two options how we'd get what we want. First, and as we've just seen very successfully, I allow him to help a fellow man not to lose his face in front of his fiancée. Or alternatively, we would had to pretend that you're head over heels in love with Volker and finally want to admit your feelings to him. My part would have been the good friend, standing by your side as emotional support."

The expression of horror on her face was unmatched. Jane chuckled softly.

"That's what I thought. See? You should be grateful that I went with option one."

She put her hands into her pockets, probably to stop herself from hitting him.

"Whatever. It worked", she finally admitted. "I guess that's the only thing that matters."

He still grinned at her. "You're very welcome, Lisbon."

They entered the room and he almost stepped into Lisbon, as she suddenly stood still.

"That's not good", she murmured, as they walked in. Jane frowned as he examined the room himself. Tables were spread evenly in the room. There weren't any glass barriers to be seen, the visitors in this room would have direct contact to the inmates.

"This is a very low security level", Lisbon said, looking at him. "I don't like it."

"Dou you want to go?" he asked her immediately, "There's still time."

"No!" He could have sworn that she rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm not worried about our safety, _now_." She shook her head as if she couldn't believe he'd even suggested leaving.

"I think we'd be able to overpower an unarmed Volker, not even speaking about the guards that will be with us in the room."

They sat down at one of the empty tables and Lisbon sighed.

"No, that's not what is worrying me. He was sentenced to life prison. He should be on the highest security level. This is hardly a setting for a convicted murderer."

Jane sat down beside her, sharing her worries.

"Good behaviour alone won't get him that", he mused.

"No." She played with the cross around her neck, probably not even realising it.

"He must have made some good friends in here."

This didn't particularly surprise Jane. "Let's just hope his new friends influence doesn't exceed those prison walls."

A metal door at the end of the room opened and several officers led a handful of prisoners in the room. They quickly distributed themselves, finding their visitors and sitting down at the tables.

Jane saw him immediately and caught himself clenching his jaw. Volker was smiling as he walked towards them.

"Agent Lisbon", his eyes were transfixed on Lisbon. "And Mr Jane." He only spared him a short glance. "What a surprise."

He sat down opposite of them and Jane noted with relief, that his hands were cuffed. Despite Lisbon's protestations, he was rather safe than sorry.

Jane sat back in his chair. Volker looked exactly as he remembered him. His hair maybe a bit longer, but other than that he didn't look like a man facing a life in prison. The old arrogance was still there; in the way he was speaking and holding himself. And he still had this predatory look in his eyes when he focused on Lisbon. Jane felt another surge of anger flash through him.

Lisbon remained silent and Jane sticking to his plan to hold back, followed her lead.

Volker didn't seem to mind; on the contrary, he seemed more than eager to talk.

"I didn't think I'd see you ever again", he mused, his eyes always on Lisbon. It almost felt as if Jane wasn't there to him.

"How's life going? I was so sorry to hear that they dismantled the CBI", he said, not in the least attempting to sound convincing.

"It was such a fine organisation, after all." He shook his head. "Well, it seems you two made it out alright."

"You're well informed", Lisbon noted.

Volker just shrugged. "I have a lot of time at my hands to watch the news."

He looked at Jane. "I'm surprised however, to see you in the country Mr. Jane. The last I heard was that you fled the scene of a homicide, about two years ago."

Jane didn't even blink at the mention of if.

"I made a deal with the FBI", he explained, as if it was the most normal thing to do after a murder.

"Well, I should have tried the same", Volker said. "But I'm afraid I have no CBI agent at my side to help the process along."

Lisbon crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Oh, forgive me", Volker corrected himself. "I meant _former_ CBI agent. Or is it FBI now, considering that he managed to get a deal with them?"

Clever, Jane thought. Using what he'd just said to pretend having a basis for his guess. They all knew this wasn't a guess. Volker knew, everything about him screamed that.

"I'm indeed working for the FBI now", Lisbon confirmed.

"Interesting. The guard mentioned something about Texas, did I hear that right?"

Lisbon nodded. "We're positioned in Texas now."

Volker flashed smile at her and Jane clenched his hand to a fist under the table.

"Texas..." He leaned his head to one side and studied Lisbon. "I'd rather have pictured you going north. Coldness seems to suit your personality so much better."

To Jane's surprise he saw that Lisbon smirked at Volker.

"I pictured you handcuffed since I talked to you for the first time and I was right..."

She looked at his hands on the table. "It suits your personality very well."

For a short moment Volker's mask waivered and Jane saw anger seep through. He had himself back under control in an instant, though.

"Well", he said slowly. "Things don't always go the way we want them to. You might learn that too some day."

He leaned back, never taking his eyes of Lisbon. "Tables can turn very quickly. _Agent_ Lisbon. Enjoy your job while you still have it, you never know what'll happen next."

The way he emphasised the word agent was unmistakable. Jane felt Lisbon tense besides him, just slightly but something clearly spooked her.

He saw a eager glimmer in Volker's eyes, reminding him of a predator that smelled blood.

"You look tired, Teresa." Volker said that moment and something snapped in Jane. He didn't know whether it was because the bastard used her first name, or the way he was staring at her… he just couldn't stand it any longer.

Lisbon didn't avoid Volker's gaze. "Well, I still have a life and can't afford to sleep all day. Maybe that's different in here."

Jane was impressed how calm she handled the situation and he knew that he should remain quiet, but he just couldn't. He needed Volker to stop looking at her like that.

"Well maybe I didn't let her sleep last night", he said, smiling at Lisbon who blushed at his words.

"Is that so?" Volker seemed more than a bit intrigued as he looked from one to the other. For the first time since they arrived Jane recognized surprise in their opponent's behaviour. Volker hadn't expected to hear that...how could he have? He might have kept Lisbon awake last night, but definitely not in the way he just made Volker believe.

Jane just grinned at him. "Well, you know how it is…" He paused and looked around as if only now remembering where they were.

"Or at least you knew once."

Volker kept looking at him, all his attention on him now and no longer Lisbon.

A moment later, Volker suddenly stood up, looking down at them.

"It was nice seeing you two, but I'm afraid I'm getting tired of talking. Another side effect of being in prison I guess. One gets used to being alone. I wish you a nice day."

He signalled to one of the guards to come over. "My visitors would like to leave."

He didn't even wait for them to stand up but walked over to the metal door, where another guard opened the door for him.

* * *

Lisbon remained silent while they left the prison. It wasn't the nice and comfortable silence they often walked in, he could literally feel the anger radiate of her. The moment the prison doors closed behind them she rounded in on him.

"The hell Jane, what was that!" He involuntarily stepped back.

"I don't know", he admitted, it was probably better to be honest than to pretend this was all part of a larger plan.

"Don't play innocent; now", she accused him, poking a finger into his chest. "You wanted this all along. You gave him a reason to target you, by pretending we're a couple."

She glared at him. "Now your stunt with the guard before also makes more sense. You planned this from the beginning."

No", Jane said hastily, "Listen, Teresa. I don't know what came over me; I just couldn't stand him looking at you like that. I needed him to focus on me. I know I shouldn't have, I'm sorry."

His shoulders slumped. "You have to believe me."

She started walking towards the car and Jane followed her with a certain distance.

"That's exactly what I wanted to prevent", she said as soon as they were in the car. She looked at him. "That's why I would have preferred to keep you out of this completely."

"I know", Jane said, relieved that she wasn't shouting anymore. "I know and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He paused for a moment, considering the risks but in the end he decided to go ahead.

"Do you remember what we talked about yesterday? I won't just sit back and do nothing, you have to understand that." He very much hoped that they wouldn't get into that discussion again

She sighed, exasperated. "I know…and I'm not telling you to." She put both her hands on the wheel. "It doesn't man that I have to like it, though."

Jane smiled at her. "No, it doesn't. I would react the same were our roles switched. I promise I'll be more careful from now on."

He waited a moment, but as she didn't say anything he spoke again. "What's your take on Volker?"

Lisbon turned around and looked at him. "It's him. I have no doubt."

She laughed. "You know, part of me is almost glad about it. This is really happening, we're not imaging something. He did this!"

Jane wasn't sure he shared her relief. "Well, I never considered that it wasn't happening. I'm not that sure though I'm glad it's Volker. He's a sociopath and he's clearly not working alone. He has men on the outside, men in important positions. He's dangerous, Teresa."

She passed over his last comment. "So you agree with me that's him?"

He nodded. "He's watching you. The remark about the cold…"

"Washington, I know. I had the same thought." Lisbon took a deep breath.

"He said almost the same words to me, as he did after he murdered Amanda."

That explained the moment she tensed up during their conversation with Volker.

"He threatened me, subtly but nevertheless." Lisbon continued. "And he didn't even ask us why we went to speak wit him. But he was very carefully not to say anything that could be used against him. We'll have a hard time to connect him to Linda, or anything else."

Jane shrugged. "I expected this. He's too clever for that."

Lisbon started the engine. "Not clever enough. Everyone makes mistakes, and were gonna find his."

Jane smiled at her. That was the Lisbon he knew. She wouldn't give up. Volker made a bad mistake by targeting her, he just didn't know it yet. Jane couldn't wait for the moment he came to regret it.


	12. Memory lane

A/N: Thanks again for your lovely reviews and for still reading this story. Unfortunately not much happening this chapter. I use this rather quiet chapter to ask you something I wanted since a while. I use the limited third-person narrator to tell this story (switching between Lisbon and Jane). Do you mind that I have POV changes within a chapter (never within the same scene of course)? I've recently read that switches within chapters are sometimes considered as bad writing, and I wanted to hear what you think about it and whether it annoys you?

* * *

 **Memory lane**

Jane leaned back against the wooden backrest of the bench, enjoying the afternoon sun on his face. The clouds from the morning had long disappeared and with them the rain.

"Any particular reason, why you wanted to eat lunch here?", he asked Lisbon. Lisbon slowly crumpled the wrapper of her sandwich up and threw it into the bin besides the bench.

"I like it here." She looked at him. "We used to eat here quite often."

"So it has nothing to do with the fact, that we're just a few minutes from the former CBI building?"

Lisbon opened her water bottle, not looking at him. "Of course it does, but you very well know that." She took a few sips of water and threw the now empty bottle into the bin as well.

"You always said you wanted to see the files, don't act so surprised suddenly."

He smiled at her. "Just trying to make a conversation here, Lisbon."

She rolled her eyes at him and stood up.

"Come on, " she looked at her watch.

Jane stretched as he stood up. He hesitated a moment, but he couldn't postpone it forever.

"I'm not sure they'll allow you near the files", he said carefully, as they walked through the small park.

Lisbon was quiet for a moment.

"Yeah...that crossed my mind too."

She looked up at him. "It's an ongoing investigation after all, they might have put my name down somehow."

"We'll just have to try and see. Or do you want me to go there alone?"

This time Lisbon was the one to hesitate.

"I don't know", she said slowly, avoiding his eyes.

"After they refused you, they'll never grant me access, not if we asked them before together."

Lisbon put hands in her pockets, clearly annoyed. Not at him though. He sensed that her frustration was directed towards the system, maybe Volker, but not him.

"You could be right."

Jane waited a while, but she didn't elaborate.

"Does this mean you agree with me, and I should go alone?"

"They probably won't let you enter either, I mean it's not like you have any business to see those files. They locked all of it down with the whole Blake Association going on and you were part of the CBI, after all."

"That's not really an answer, Lisbon. Do you want me to try it alone, or not?"

She sighed and he knew that she struggled with herself. She wanted to see the files, but she hated to send him in to do it for her. Struggling for control and/or attempting to protect him; likely both at the same time. He almost smiled as the thought crossed his mind.

"I'm still waiting...", he reminded her after a while.

"Well, ok then", she said grudgingly. She stopped in her track, pointing a finger at him.

"But I don't want to see any more stunts like the ones this morning, are we clear?"

He grinned at her. "Sure. I'll behave."

She looked satisfied with his answer and they resumed their journey.

"It's not as if it would help to pretend that you're my girlfriend, anyhow. I'm afraid it would rather be contra productive."

She glared at him, but he kept grinning at her until he could see the hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

As they walked around the corner, the large brick building showed up in front of them. Jane involuntarily walked slower. It was strange. Two years; it had been more than two years since he'd been here. So much had happened since. He looked at Lisbon, noting that she'd slowed down as well. He didn't want to imagine what thoughts were racing through her mind. Her last weeks in that building must have been a nightmare. Her unit dismantled, the FBI suspecting her of being part of the conspiracy, an ongoing investigation against her because of the way McAllister and Bertram died and on top of it he'd left her alone with all of it.

"It's been a while", he said softly. She flinched at his words, as if only now reminded of his presence.

"Yes, you could say that."

They stopped at the parking lot, where once an officer had guarded the entrance. No sign of any security was to be seen now, nor was there anything else that reminded of the former CBI, apart from the building itself.

Lisbon cleared her throat, before she spoke. "The FBI archive with all the old CBI files is in the basement" She looked at him. "It's the only part that is still the way it was. They took down all the other floors immediately after the FBI arrived."

She tried to sound casual, but he could hear the slight tremor in her voice.

"Apparently a consulting company is now occupying the first floor, the rest is empty."

"How comes you know all that", Jane asked her surprised.

She just shrugged. "I asked Wylie to look into it a few days ago."

As he'd suspected she'd long planned to come to California, even if she wouldn't admit it.

"Maybe it's better if I wait here", she suggested that moment, taking Jane by surprise. He hadn't expected that.

You sure?" he asked her.

She nodded. "We don't know how it looks inside. There must be some kind of security checkpoint, at least for going down to the archives. I don't want to risk them seeing you with me, this might only lead to annoying questions."

He wasn't sure that was the only reason, but he decided not to push.

"Okay", he said. "I'll text you as soon as I'm in."

"Assuming they'll let you in."

He smiled. "Lisbon, you know me? I got us into a prison this morning, how difficult can an old archive be?"

She still seemed skeptical.

"We'll see."

* * *

Lisbon walked to the small coffee shop on the other side of the road, trying not to think about every time she went in there before. Being back in Sacramento affected her more than she thought. She'd spent a large part of her adult life in and around that building, but whenever she looked at it now, she only saw the empty offices during the last days of her stay. She saw the empty spot where her office used to be, the slight dents in the wooden floor where Jane's couch had stood all the years.

She ordered a coffee, angry with herself for not being able to shake those dark memories off. Her phone buzzed and she frowned at it. That couldn't be good. She'd only just left Jane at the entrance.

 _Encountered some difficulties_

The message read.

 _Meet me at the backside of the building, at the old emergency exit door. Don't be seen._

Her frown intensified. That sounded bad, very bad. She immediately replied, asking him what was going on.

His answer was not long in coming; it hardly qualified as answer though.

 _You'll see_

Lisbon shook her head in resignation and paid her coffee. They'd had to have a serious conversation about what the words "I'll behave" involved, and what not. Lisbon jogged over the street and slipped in between two buildings, emerging on the backside of the road just moments later. She felt like a criminal, looking over her shoulder to make sure that no one saw her. She found the emergency door immediately, even if the once brightly illuminated sign above the plain metal door was now turned off.

The door wasn't closed and as she came closer, she could see that Jane held it open for her.

"Come in", he said hastily and closed the door behind her, leaving them in almost complete darkness.

"What the hell, Jane", she said, glaring at him even if he probably couldn't see her face.

He took her arm and led her through another door into the familiar old staircase.

"What happened?" she asked him again, but he just put his finger to his lips, signaling her to be silent. They started to climb the stairs and Lisbon soon realised where he was leading her. Her heart sank. That was the last place she wanted to be right now.

Jane opened the door to the last landing and she followed him with a sigh. The wooden door was unlocked. She coughed as Jane moved the heavy door to the side, something that hadn't happened in a very long time, judging by the amount of dust it whirled up.

He stepped to the side to let her in first. She couldn't believe how calm he seemed, almost as if he enjoyed being back.

The room looked exactly as she'd left it more than two years ago. After he'd disappeared she'd only came back up here one single time. She'd hoped to find some comfort in it after a long day of being interrogated by the FBI. She couldn't have been more wrong. She'd always hated the place and being there, without Jane... it had been unbearable.

Jane seemed unaffected by all of this. She could see a wide smile on his face as he took in his former hiding spot.

"It's still here", he said, sitting down on the makeshift bed, for a moment almost disappearing in another cloud of dust.

Lisbon crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"What am I doing here, Jane? What happened downstairs?"

He looked up at her, the smile fading for a moment.

"They won't let me see any of the files. Not without authorisation from higher up." He shrugged apologetically at her.

"I tried, but the guard would make no exception." He frowned, as if he'd suddenly remembered something.

"He seemed nervous, very determined not to make any mistake."

Lisbon looked around for a place to sit down and decided for the single chair in front of the desk. She pulled it a bit into the room and sat down, after she wiped the thick layer of dust off it.

"Well, I almost expected this. It would have been to easy any other way", she said with a sigh.

"Do you think there's a chance Abbott will be able to help us?"

Jane nodded. "Of course he will. In fact, I already called him before you arrived. We came here for those files and I won't go before we saw them."

Lisbon felt a sense of dread, realising what that meant. "That made it official then. IA will know of it the moment Abbott intervenes."

"I know", Jane said, not looking at her. He studied his old bed, very likely contemplating whether he should lie down or not."It's the only way. And maybe it's even better. Let them know you're investigating on your own. We didn't do anything illegal."

"Not yet", Lisbon murmured, more to herself than him. The less progress they made, the more likely it was that Jane would do something outside the realm of the law.

"That still doesn't explain why we're here", she said after a moment.

"Well, we have to wait somewhere", Jane replied. "It might take a while until Abbott works his magic."

Lisbon glared at him. "You want to wait here? It might take hours or even days, if he manages to do it at all."

"What is the matter, Lisbon", Jane asked her. "You don't seem to like it here."

"Of course not." She flinched at the volume of her own voice. "Why would I?" She added more quietly.

Jane looked at her intently and she felt increasingly uneasy under his glance.

"How come you're so calm?" It suddenly burst out of her. She swallowed, as he still remained silent.

"I mean, doesn't it remind you of...?" she stopped mid sentence.

Jane stood up and walked over to the window.

"No... or yes, but not in the way you might think", he finally said, leaning against the desk and looking at her. "I made peace with that part of my past. He took away that much from me, I won't give him the satisfaction of haunting me after his death."

Lisbon could hardly believe his words. "It's that easy?"

He smiled at her, a sad smile, but nevertheless one.

"It's never easy, but I'm getting better at it." He almost tenderly brushed over the old wooden table.

"This room is much more than just him. I don't regret my time with the CBI." He looked up at her and something in his eyes took her breath away.

"There are maybe some things I regret, things I'd do differently now." He still hadn't looked away and Lisbon almost felt paralyzed by his gaze.

"Fact is, I wouldn't be standing here today, not without the CBI." A short pause. "Not without you."

He smiled and this time it was genuine.

"This room reminds me of this. All of it, not just the bad parts."

Lisbon didn't know what to say, or even think. She flinched as her phone started ringing, echoing loudly from the walls in the almost empty attic.

She looked at the screen; a withhold number.

"I have to take this", she said, noting how shaky her voice sounded.

Jane didn't say a word as she stood up and stepped outside onto the roof, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Lisbon put her phone back into her pocket and closed her eyes. The call had been long and tiring. She didn't want to go back into the attic, but she couldn't hide out here forever. With a sigh, she turned around and opened the door.

Jane was lying on the old makeshift bed now, hands behind his head. He looked content, peaceful...and he was obviously deep asleep.

Lisbon couldn't but smile at the sight. Maybe he'd been right, maybe it was time to focus on all the good memories and not dwell on the dark aspects of their past. Who would have thought that Jane would be the one to say that to her and not the other way round. She always wanted him to move on and now that he was in the process of moving on...it sometimes almost scared her.

She sat down on her chair again, studying him. Why? Why did she struggle with this new version of him, why did she distance herself from him ever since he came back? Without thinking about it, she stood up again and walked over to him, suddenly feeling the need to be closer.

Was she maybe afraid of what moving on could mean for him...for them? What if he one day decided that he didn't need her. She'd been practically his only friend for years, but Jane wouldn't have any problems charming new people, not if he'd set his mind on it. She'd been his number one demand when he came back, but that had been weeks ago. He was healing and maybe the day would come when he decided to leave the past behind him completely, and she'd be part of that past. She knew she was ridiculous, or wasn't she? Hadn't he just told her himself, that he decided to focus on the positive aspects.

She sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake him.

He was here with here, wasn't he? He valued their friendship; his behavior over the last days should be proof enough of that. And he'd told her that he missed her, in every single letter and the day he returned. Lisbon sighed; she still couldn't shake of the fear that he might disappear again.

"That was a long interrogation." She flinched at his voice, she hadn't realised he'd woken up. Lisbon turned around to look at him. She didn't need to ask why he knew she'd talked to IA.

"They knew I'm in California and they were not happy about it."

Jane shrugged. "Well, I don't care whether they like it or not, you did nothing wrong."

"No", Lisbon said. "Not yet. I wouldn't be surprised however, to hear from them again; very soon. Next time informing me that I'm no longer allowed to leave the state." _Or presenting me with an arrest warrant..._ She couldn't bring herself to say it out loud.

"You didn't by any chance hear from Abbott, while I was outside?" she asked him hopefully, even if she already knew the answer.

"No." Jane took his phone out of his pocket and sat up. "Maybe I should call him again."

"Don't", Lisbon said, reaching for his hand as he unlocked the screen screen.

"You would just annoy him. I'm sure he'll contact us as soon as there's news."

She didn't withdraw her hand immediately, but let it linger there for just a moment longer.

"Maybe you're right", Jane said. "But people that are annoyed tend to do things quicker, which speaks in favour of calling him again."

Lisbon shook her head at him.

"But they're also _annoyed_ , which isn't the best if you what them to help you."

Lisbon glanced at her watch. "Maybe it's time to leave. Even if Abbott would call now, I don't think they'd still let us into the archives at this hour."

"Probably not, but let's give it another half hour or so." He looked at her. "We can also wait outside of course, if you feel so uncomfortable here."

"No, don't be ridiculous."

She stared at her own hands. He'd been so honest and open with her, maybe it was time to return something of that.

"I'm not uncomfortable, It's just", she took a deep breath. "I hated it if you were up here. Hiding from m... everyone, brooding for days. It felt as if you were slipping away from the team." _From me_ , she corrected herself in her mind, not daring to say it.

He moved his arm, just for a fraction, before he stopped again. Had he wanted to touch her?

"I know", he finally said. "And I'm sorry, Teresa." The sad smile on his face was back.

"I told you there are some things I regret. Things I'd wished I'd done differently. And then there are those things that were necessary, but not less painful."

He stood up, brushing against her in the process.

"You were right", he said. "Let's get out of here."

She didn't complain about his sudden change of mind. It was ridiculous, but she felt relieved as he pushed the door closed behind them. They descended the stairs mostly in silence and they were almost on ground level, when Lisbon remembered.

"Wait!" she said, holding him back. "We can't go through there, they'll see me."

Jane chuckled. "Oh, I forgot." He grinned at her, pointing at the entrance hall.

"There's nothing there, Lisbon. The checkpoint is deep down in the basement, no one is going to see you."

"But…", she just stared at him, looking for words. "Why did I have to enter through the backdoor?"

He was still grinning. "Ah yes…well, you seemed a bit gloomy, ever since we saw the building. I thought a rush of adrenalin might help you out of it."

Lisbon couldn't believe what she heard.

"You..you had me sneak in here like a common criminal to make me feel…more alive?"

"Well, it worked, didn't it…at least until you saw the attic."

She just continued to glare at him. "You know I'd like to hit you right now."

He just laughed, as they walked through the empty entrance area.


	13. Taking a break

A/N: Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews and for still reading my story. I never expected that so many people would be interested in what I write and it means a lot to me! As always, feedback is very much appreciated (including critical criticism).

* * *

 **Taking a break**

Jane knocked a second time, but still nothing.

"Lisbon?"

With a sigh he put the bag with the coffee on the floor and picked the lock. It didn't take him more than ten seconds.

"Lisbon?" he asked again as he opened the door, very carefully. She had a tendency to be jumpy when surprised.

The blinds were down and she hadn't turned the light on. For the fraction of a second he saw her on the armchair; the next moment he stared into the barrel of her gun.

"Don't shoot!", he shouted, holding the bag in front of him like a shield.

"Jane?", she lowered the gun. "Are you out of your mind. You can't just storm in here unannounced." She stepped back and placed the gun on the table beside her.

"I knocked. At least three times, but you didn't react."

"I must have fallen asleep, I'm sorry." She walked past him and opened the blinds, letting the bright sun light in. Close up he saw how tired she looked and he frowned at her.

"Did you sleep at all this night? Apart from dozing in an armchair?"

She didn't turn around immediately, but kept looking out of the window.

"Of course I did."

She finally faced him, pointing at the brown paper bag still in his hands. "What's that?"

"Coffee", Jane said, pulling a sealed paper cup out of the bag.

"You left the motel?" she asked him, her eyes wide.

She seemed shocked by this fact, which only confused him more.

"I woke up early this morning and went for a cup of tea in a diner close by." She still hadn't taken the coffee. "I thought I bring you this. We both know what happens when you don't get your caffeine fix in the morning." He grinned at her, but she seemed unaffected by his cheerfulness.

At last she finally took the coffee and went back to the single armchair in the room.

"You can't just leave in the middle of the night", she said accusingly and slowly Jane started to suspect what this was all about.

"First of all, it was 6 in the morning, that hardly qualifies as night. And second, why not?" He sat down on the edge of her bed, which he was more and more convinced she hadn't used that night.

"It was just one block, you can almost see the diner from here, Lisbon."

She took a sip of her coffee, obviously stalling for time.

Jane sighed. "Don't tell me you've been awake all night, because you were afraid Volker might send someone after me?"

She put the coffee down with too much force and a bit splashed over, staining the table.

"You made yourself a target, Jane. What did you expect."

He shook his head. "Volker isn't interested in me, Lisbon. You're the one he's after."

She stood up, her coffee forgotten on the table.

"He doesn't want to kill me, at least not yet. Why would he go through all the effort of ruining my career, just to kill me before he succeeded?"

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at him.

"He wants to destroy me first, by taking everything from me, by taking my job." She started pacing again, seemingly unable to stand still.

"And now you made him believe that we're a couple..."

"So you think he's going to kill me, to further hurt you?" he finished the sentence for her.

She halted and looked at him. "Yes."

He saw the fear in her eyes. How could he have been that blind? It had already been there the evening before, he just hadn't realised it.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked her softly. He didn't think that he was in imminent danger and he might have been able to talk her out of it. Volker was no one for spontaneous decisions, and being in a prison would limit his options to communicate with the outside world. It would take him days, maybe weeks to organise an attack on him; Jane was sure of that. And that was only part of the reason why he felt safe.

"He can't kill me, Lisbon. Not without raising suspicion", he explained to her. "He wouldn't risk his plan for you by doing something as foolish as that."

"You don't know that." She said stubbornly.

Jane shook his head. "Nor do you know that he won't try to kill you today." He lifted a hand to stop her from objecting. "You may have good reasons against that theory, but so do I. It's all speculations in the end."

"I have a gun", Lisbon said, as if that explained everything and only after he didn't reply, she added. "I'm a cop, Jane. I know how to defend myself. You..."

They'd had that discussion so many times before...

"A gun won't protect you from everything." Jane stood up and took her coffee from the table.

"How about I'll promise you to be careful if you tell me next time you think I might be in danger, instead of staying awake all night?"

She slowly took the offered cup out of his hands.

"I will even sleep in your room", he added, "if that makes you feel better."

"Okay", she finally said, and Jane wondered for a moment whether she'd just agreed to his first proposition, the second, or both.

She sat down on her bed and he joined her. While she drank her coffee, he watched her silently. So many years she had been in constant danger because of him. The closer she became to him, the more she turned into a target for Red John. Jane closed his eyes for a moment, trying to follow his own advice from the day before. They had enough to worry about, without getting caught up by the horror of their past. Still, he couldn't prevent the thought that it was only fair that their roles were reversed now. Not that he ever would have dared to said that aloud.

He sighed; the only problem was that she wouldn't stop worrying about him now. Something else she had to bear on top of everything that was already burdening her. Jane stared at the window, feeling anger rise in him. She had been through so much in her life, she didn't deserve this. He clenched his hand to a fist. Volker would pay for it.

"Jane?" Lisbon looked at him. "Everything alright."

He forced a smile. "Sure." he leaned back, propping himself up on his hands.

"What's the plan for today?" he asked her.

"We could try to visit Linda's parents, while we wait for Abbott to call", Lisbon suggested. That was the last thing Jane wanted that day. Lisbon was tired and therefore more vulnerable, which only would make the visit worse. He couldn't, however, find a good argument against it.

"Do you feel ready to face them", he asked her carefully. Lisbon shrugged, but to his surprise she didn't pretend that everything was fine, that visiting Linda and Amanda's parents would be easy.

"Not really, but I don't think I ever will."

She stood up, straightening her shoulders. "Let's go."

Jane just looked at her for a moment. After all these years, he still admired her for her strength. She didn't search for an excuse to postpone the meeting, she didn't hesitate; never. Not Lisbon.

She frowned at him. "Jane?"

He cleared his throat, realising that he'd just stared at her for seconds, not saying anything.

"I'm coming", he hastily replied and stood up.

* * *

Lisbon leaned her head against the window. It was cowardly, but she couldn't prevent feeling relieved that Linda's parents hadn't been at home. She would have to face them eventually, but the idea made her feel sick. She closed her eyes, the cool glass of the window helping her to stay focused, to stay awake. She felt the lack of sleep more with each passing hour.

Jane had persuaded her to let him drive and in retrospect it had been a good idea. She turned her head and looked at him. He had been very quiet since they came back to the car. Whatever he'd been pondering about, that moment he seemed to have come to a decision. Without a warning he pulled to the side and stopped the car in someone's drive way.

"What are you doing?" she asked him surprised. "Why did you stop?"

Jane turned around to face her. "I don't even know where we're heading to...which makes driving slightly difficult." He killed the engine of the car.

"We probably should go back to the motel." Lisbon began. "Maybe we've missed something in the-"

"No", Jane said firmly. "We're not looking at Linda's files again. You read them hundreds of times. There's nothing in there. Volker was too careful. "

Lisbon was surprised at the determination in his voice. "That's the only thing we have until Abbott calls", she reminded him. "What else do you suggest?"

He hesitated a moment and Lisbon couldn't really explain why, but she sensed that he planned his next words very carefully. He'd been planning this ever since they left the motel, maybe always hoping that they wouldn't find the Shaws.

"Why don't we just take a break?"

"A break?" She blinked at him. "What do you mean, a break?" And suddenly she comprehended. She hadn't even thought about him at all since they were back. There must be things he wanted to do, places he wanted to visit... She swallowed, the idea of letting him out of her sight was frightening, but she understood. He hadn't been back in California in years, how could she have been so selfish not to think about that.

"If... if you need some time alone", she began, "you can drop me off at the motel. I won't need the car."

"What?" Jane stared at her, an expression of confusion on his face. At any other moment the rare sight would would have made her smile. Then he seemed to realise what she was talking about.

"No." He shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I want _you_ to take a break."

"Me?"

He sighed. "Just for a few hours. Let's do something different. Take a walk, eat ice cream...I don't care. Just..." He looked at her, very intently. "I just want you to forget all of this, at least for a few hours...or how long we may have until Abbott calls."

Lisbon just stared at him. Immediately she started looking for a reason why this was a bad idea, why she shouldn't distract herself... but she just couldn't bring herself to find one.

"Okay", she heard herself saying. She needed this; they needed this. The last days they had spent every minute planning, worrying...occasionally fighting. She was so tired of all of it.

Jane smiled at her and she couldn't but join him.

"Okay?" He asked her astonished. "That easy?"

He started the engine again, still grinning.

"I spent the last half hour coming up with all kinds of arguments to convince you why this is a great idea and now you just agree."

Lisbon rolled her eyes at him, but she still smiled. "Do you want me to change my mind?"

"Oh no", he threw a glance at her, "but could you maybe pretend that you do, just for a few minutes?" His grin grew wider. "I had some pretty convincing arguments."

"I already start regretting my decision", she said warningly, but they both knew that she didn't mean it.

* * *

Lisbon laughed at his words. It took her a moment to realise that he wasn't laughing with her any longer; instead he was staring at her. She suddenly felt very aware of herself. "What?" she asked him, slightly embarrassed.

"It just has been so long since I've seen you laugh", he said, his eyes shining. Lisbon felt her cheeks blush. "Don't be ridiculous, you see me laugh all the time."

"No", he shook his head, still looking at her. "Not the last weeks." A smile lightened up his face. "Not like this."

She turned her face away, feeling the heat in her cheeks. Her heartbeat sped up at the way he looked at her. She swallowed. He was just being Jane, she reminded herself. She had to stop seeing signs were there weren't any.

"There wasn't much to laugh about." This would stop him, and it had to stop. Or she would let something show she didn't want to.

"Eh!" Jane warned her.

"I know, I know", she hastily added, "I'm not mentioning it." She shook her head at him, smiling again, despite her efforts not to.

"I never knew you're that good when it comes to repressing reality."

"That's not fair, Lisbon." He almost looked offended. "Allowing yourself to enjoy the small pleasures of life, forgetting your problems for a while or letting someone else carrying them for you...that's a necessary part of life, it's a healthy coping mechanism. You sometimes have to allow yourself at leas that."

She just shrugged. "If you say so." It did feel good, she couldn't deny that.

"So, back to were we were" Jane said. "The criminals of Canon river must have been shocked to learn that their new Chief used to be a CBI agent."

Lisbon snorted. " _The criminals_ , if they deserve that name at all, comprised of a bunch of teens illegally drinking a beer once in a while and maybe the rare case of shoplifting. And I'm pretty sure none of them even knew what the CBI is...was."

She couldn't prevent the short stab of pain as she corrected herself. She was sure that Jane sensed it too, but in the spirit of their break they both ignored it.

"The word agent must have been terrifying enough on its own."

"I didn't go around telling people what I used to do."

"See. That was the mistake, you should have done that the first week after your arrival. I guarantee you it would have stopped your nosy neighbours from poking around in your life."

Lisbon laughed again. "It would have made it ten times worse. They all seemed desperate for drama."

Jane pointed to a bench facing the river and they sat down. I was nice sitting down, after they had spent the last hour walking through the park. Jane had suggested this after they had enjoyed a very late breakfast, or early lunch in a nice little restaurant.

"Believe me, the less they new, the less interesting I was to them."

Jane just shook his head. "There's nothing more intriguing than a good mystery, Lisbon."

"Just because you like a puzzle, doesn't mean it's the same for everyone", Lisbon said, smiling at him. She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the sunshine on her face.

"We should do this more often", Jane said. She looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Taking a break", he explained. "We don't take enough time to do stuff like this."

His eyes rested on the water in front of them, a smile playing on his lips. Lisbon couldn't stop staring at him; he simply looked beautiful. The way his eyes shone in the sunlight, he seemed genuinely happy and it made her heart swell.

He turned around to face her and she only then realised that she hadn't said anything in minutes. She felt her face turn red.

"Normal people have to work Jane, we can't waste our time doing nothing."

He shook his head. "Nonsense, Lisbon. A normal workday leaves more than enough time for taking a walk outside, not even mentioning the weekends. That's a lame excuse. You'll have to come up with something better if you want to prevent me from getting you out of the office once in a while in the future."

Her heart jolted at his words.

"Well, considering that I'm susp-" His glance made her stop.

"Okay, assuming I'll get my job back, I'll make sure not to work too many hours. Happy with that?"

He grinned at her again. "Very much. I've hardly seen anything in and around Austin, we'll have so many places to visit."

Lisbon smiled at his eagerness. "You're awfully cheerful, today."

He'd always found pleasure in the small things, but this optimism she felt in everything he said and the fact that he was planning ahead; that was definitely new.

"I'm cheerful because I'm sitting here with you, on such a beautiful day", he answered. "You can't imagine how often I wished for that."

She didn't know what to say. Her throat suddenly felt very dry. It was something different to hear such words out of his mouth, than just reading them in his letters. She had missed him so much. The first weeks had been the worst, everything falling apart and at the back of her head she couldn't stop worrying about him. Wondering whether he was still alive, whether she would ever see him again? The arrival of his first letter had been such a relief, but while she stopped worrying for his safety...she'd felt his absence even more.

He was still looking at her and she knew she had to say something; anything. Why was this so difficult for her. It was ridiculous.

"I thought about that, too", she finally managed. "There were so many things I wanted to talk to you about. " She didn't look at him. "Small things, unimportant really, but still..." She nervously played with her hands. "You told me all these small details about your life in your letters and somehow I wished I could do the same."

"You can tell me about it now", Jane said softly.

She shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. "Believe me, you would only be bored."

"No." He sounded so sincere, she simply had to believe him. "I wouldn't."

She dared to lift her eyes to his. He had no idea how much it meant to her that he was there with here, that moment. And she hadn't even thanked him for it. Lisbon didn't know where this realisation was coming from, but it was the truth. Ever since this had started, all she had done was trying to push him away, trying to keep him out. She never had thanked him and the thought filled her with horror.

A frown appeared between Jane's brows, something on her face must have shown the tumult inside her mind.

"I know, we're still not talking about _it_ ", she began, "but there's something I have to say. I should have done it days ago."

Jane opened his mouth, but she continued before he could say something.

"I want to thank you, Jane, for everything you did."

"You don't have to thank me, Teresa." He smiled at her. "I know we disagree on that, but a lifetime of help wouldn't be enough to compensate for what you did for me."

"I definitely don't agree", she said firmly, before she added, more softly. "Thank you."

She was half afraid he might again try to dodge her attempt at thanking him, but he didn't.

"You're very welcome, Lisbon." He seemed deeply moved by her words, more than she'd expected. That's what she later used as excuse for what happened next. She leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. Jane looked utterly astonished, but only for a moment, before a smile lit up his face. Lisbon felt almost as shocked as he'd looked, only it didn't wear off that quickly.

"Well", Jane began but that moment her phone started ringing. Lisbon took it out of her pocket, with slightly shaking fingers and that had nothing to do with the call.

"It's Abbott", she said to Jane, as she took the call.

* * *

Jane watched her walk up and down the narrow corridor. He'd only let her do this for the last fives minutes, because it meant she'd brush against him every once in a while.

"Lisbon", he said, putting a hand on her arm to stop her from pacing. "Relax."

"What is taking him so long?", she asked, looking at her watch again.

Jane shrugged, ignoring the nagging feeling that something was wrong. She was nervous enough without him saying something.

That moment the door behind them opened and the young guard came back out. He was breathing quickly and wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. Jane frowned, that wasn't good.

"They're gone" he said the moment he reached them.

"What do you mean, they're gone?" Lisbon asked sharply. The guard swallowed. "They're not there. I checked everywhere."

"They were stolen", Jane remarked, not completely surprised. Lisbon turned towards him. "We have to call Abbott." Jane still hadn't taken his hand of her arm and he now reassuringly tightened his grip for a moment.

"That's good", he said. "They'll have to look into this now." Lisbon nodded. The young guard frantically searched his desk, presumably for his phone. Papers flew everywhere. "I have to inform my superiors", he said to them. Jane pointed at the phone, sitting on the other side of the desk.

A second guard came out of the archive, he seemed similarly shaken.

"Are all the files gone", Lisbon asked him. He nodded.

"All the ones you wanted to see, I don't know whether more are missing..." It was obvious that something like his never had happened while he was on duty before.

"You log every visitor to the archive, don't you?", Jane asked him. He just nodded, while his colleague was now hastily talking into the phone.

"We'll need a copy of that list", Jane said.

"And a list with all the missing files", Lisbon added. Jane saw that she had an idea.

"What about the administrative files", she asked the guard, "are they still there?"

"What files?", the young guard seemed more confused than ever.

"I mean the monthly budget reports, including all accounts of expenses, travelling informations and so on."

Jane was impressed, he hadn't even thought about that.

"I haven't checked", the guard said, "and I'm not sure I'm allowed to give you those."

Jane sighed. "We were cleared for the actual case files, isn't that enough?"

The guard hesitated for another moment, but then he turned around and disappeared again behind the heavy metal door.

Half an hour later they left the building with all the expense and travel account files of the major crime unit during the time in question.


	14. Running away

A/N: I thank you so much for still bearing with me, respectively this story. Your reviews and the fact alone that you're still reading this means so much to me. Thank you.

Sorry, that it took a few days longer this time with the update (unfortunately I can't blame the the non-working site, it was entirely my fault). I struggled a bit with this chapter, I don't really know why. I'm still not too happy with it, but it's the best I could come up with.

* * *

 **Running away**

Jane yawned as he lowered the page to the side. He had difficulties keeping his eyes open and the text blurred in front of his eyes. He put the page on the small pile on the table beside him. He had always suspected that the paper work Lisbon had to fill in after each case was useless, he however had had no idea how tediously detailed they were. He rubbed his hand over his eyes. If he had to read another page describing how much fuel each of the CBI cars used and at which gas stations they had stopped...he would go crazy.

"I give up", he said into the room. No reply. He stood up, a frown between his eyes.

"Lisbon?"

The frown turned into a smile as he turned around.

Lisbon had left him the armchair and used the large bed as working space... at least that is what she had done in the beginning. Pages were now spread all over the bed, one of them still in her hand. Lisbon, however, was clearly not reading it currently, that much was sure. Jane smiled as he walked over and started to gather all the pages and put them to the side. Lisbon was curled up on her side, deep asleep. It was no surprise. On the contrary, Jane could hardly believe that she managed to stay awake for that long. It was close to midnight and she'd been still reading half an hour ago. After having gotten hardly any sleep the night before she must have been exhausted.

Jane very carefully took the last paper out of her hands. It was not another form but her own notes. He looked at it. She obviously had put a lot more effort and thought into this than he had. Well, paperwork never had been his strength. She had listed all the detailed time and location information, which would help to track her every moment during the cases. Should the manipulated files in any way deviate from this time line, they would have a proof.

Jane sighed as he brought all the papers to the table, stacking them on top of each other. Assuming of course that they ever could get a glimpse at the manipulated files. All this work was pointless otherwise. It was hard to disprove something, if you didn't even know what it was.

A noise made him turn around, but Lisbon only had murmured something in her sleep. She was lying on the bed cover and he suddenly feared that she might get cold. He took the other end of the blanket and folded it over, tucking her in tenderly. For a moment he just stood there, watching her sleep. It was a rare sight seeing her so unguarded and relaxed. She would probably punch him, if she ever knew of this. Jane smiled at the thought.

He yawned, feeling tired himself. He thought about going to his room, but he couldn't forget the look of fear in her eyes that morning. Her weapon was beside her on the small bedside table. Never out of reach. She had tried to hide it from him, but he had noticed nevertheless how she never let him out of sight for longer than absolutely necessary. Not during their break, nor afterwards. It had been her suggestion to order pizza to her room and look at the files. He grinned, he probably should be glad that she had allowed him to go to his room for a shower shortly after they had eaten.

With her asleep, of course, there was nothing stopping him from going into his room. Except that he didn't really want to.

He looked at the armchair, which seemed a very inconvenient place to sleep; no comparison to a real couch at all. No, he concluded, there was just no other choice. She would understand it; she had to. He walked around the bed and lied down on the other side, hands behind his back. He suddenly couldn't stop grinning. He could very well picture her in the morning. The shock when she would realise that they had slept in the same bed. He could almost see the initial faint blush on her cheeks that would turn scarlet the moment he would tease her about it. Jane closed his eyes, very much looking forward to the morning.

* * *

"Jane", a soft voice drifted in and out of his consciousness. He opened his eyes, blinking in confusion.

"Wake up." Someone shook his shoulder. His vision cleared and he looked into a pair of green eyes. Beautiful green eyes.

"Lisbon", he said without thinking about it. She stepped back and looked at him.

"You have to get up", she said. Jane detected the tension in her posture and was immediately wide awake.

"What happened?" he asked her, sitting up. Lisbon's hair was wet; she must haven taken a shower a while ago. He couldn't believe that he hadn't heard her getting up. Not only because he regretted having missed the chance to tease her about waking up beside him.

"Abbott called", she said.

Jane stood up and stretched his arms. His eyes fell on her bag on the floor. She had started packing.

"He called us back to Austin?"

Lisbon nodded; she avoided looking at him directly.

"IA want to speak to me tomorrow at 9. I already booked us tickets for this afternoon."

Jane looked at her accusingly.

"Why didn't you wake me earlier? I could have helped you."

She just shrugged. "It's ok. You needed the sleep."

"Nonsense", Jane interrupted her. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "What did Abbot say?"

"He called me to tell us that the stolen files are now investigated. Apparently IA is on it."

Jane could see that she didn't seem relieve by this.

"That's good news, isn't it?" he asked her, trying to sound hopeful.

"I guess." She didn't look convinced and Jane had the sinking feeling that Abbott had told her more than just that.

"What about your hearing tomorrow. Do you have that from Abbott, too? Why didn't IA call you?"

Lisbon looked at her hands, apparently very fascinated by them suddenly.

"They'll inform me at some point during the day. Abbott just gave me a warning before hand, they called him first thing in the morning."

"They informed him? That's interesting."

Lisbon lifted her eyes at his words.

"That's normal. He's my boss, of course they'll keep him in the loop."

Jane didn't say anything immediately, instead he studied her. There was something else on her mind.

"Did Abbott say anything else?" he inquired.

"No", Lisbon answered, fidgeting with her hands.

"You might wanna try again", Jane said exasperated at her obvious lie. "Looking at me and holding still for a moment might help to make it more convincingly."

She glared at him, unable to hide her annoyance at the way he saw through her lie.

"Very funny, Jane."

"Yeah, it is, " he said, even if he never felt less like laughing. "Funny that you still think you can lie to me. Or worse, that you think you need to lie to me."

Lisbon crossed her arms in front of her chest. A defensive posture, she felt attacked, very likely because she had a guilty conscience for lying to him in the first place.

"I'm not lying. It's nothing!"

"Well, nothing isn't making you that tense."

She sighed. "You won't give up, will you?"

He smiled at her. "Never."

Lisbon sat down on the bed.

"It's really nothing, that's why I didn't say anything."

Jane just raised his eyebrows at her. She still hadn't given him an answer.

"Abbott advised me to take a layer with me to the meeting."

Jane looked at his hands, not to let her see the fear that momentarily showed on his face.

"I mean it's nothing, he's probably just overly cautious." Lisbon said in a weak attempt at calming him and very likely herself too.

"Doesn't sound as if Abbott thinks the stolen files will be enough." Jane said, ignoring her words.

Lisbon nodded, no longer pretending that it was nothing.

"No. He told me to expect the worst."

Jane didn't dare asking what that might be. He had a pretty good idea anyhow.

"We need a plan B", he said firmly, sitting down beside her.

"Plan B? Don't we need A first, before we can think about B?"

A small smile played on her lips. At least she hadn't lost her sense of humour.

"I'm serious", he said. "They're not going to arrest you for this."

Lisbon laughed and shook her head at him. "I'm afraid that's not your decision to make." More seriously, she added. "We'll find something, you said so yourself... you just might have to investigate for a while without me."

"Don't even say that." Jane stood up again, unable to sit still.

"You could always run", he suggested half-heartedly, knowing that she would never do that.

"I know a nice place where they'd never find you."

Lisbon smiled at him. "Abbott found you, didn't he?"

Jane shrugged. "He might have found me, but he couldn't do anything. If I'd refused to go with him, I'd still be on the island."

Lisbon laughed. "Good to know."

She hesitated for a moment, before she met his gaze.

"Thank you for the offer. I appreciate it, but I have to stay."

She suddenly grinned and he recognised it as an attempt to loosen the tension.

"Who would keep you in line, if not me?"

Jane didn't smile.

"Well, I'd still be with you."

The grin on her face faltered and he saw the exact moment she realised the meaning of his words.

"You-", she began again. "You would come with me?"

Her eyes were wide and he swallowed as her gaze flicked down to his lips and back up.

"Of course", he said softly. "I told you on the plane. This job means nothing to me, when you're not here. With you gone, there'd be no reason for me to stay."

Part of him felt sad that this conversation would always remain a hypothetical one; she would never flee the country, her sense of obligation would never allow it.

Lisbon rubbed her neck, looking everywhere but at him. A faint smile crossed his face. There was the blush he'd wanted to elicit in the morning, even if for a different reason. He could sense her nervousness and confusion. She still doubted his feelings. For a short moment he just wanted to tell her the truth. Say it in a way not even she could misunderstand. He took a deep breath, his heart suddenly racing in his chest.

Maybe she had heard his hammering heartbeat, or which was more likely, his erratic breathing betrayed him. Whatever it was, Lisbon eyes found his once more and the words died on his tongue. He wanted to tell her, he did, but suddenly doubts crept into his mind. This was clearly the wrong moment and the wrong place. He couldn't risk to ruin this.

He averted his eyes and cleared his throat, willing his heartbeat to slow down.

"No plan B then", he said, still not looking at her. _Coward,_ a faint voice in the back of his head said.

She shook her head. "I guess we have to go with A then. We only have to figure out what that might be first." He noted a slight tremor in her voice and he was sure that it had nothing to with plan B, or their lack of a plan A.

Jane slowly felt calm again; or at least calmer. The close proximity to her didn't help.

"Well, we have one more chance to try and talk to Linda's parents. I'd be surprised if we learn something useful, but it's worth a try", Lisbon said.

She still didn't seem fully focused on the case again, but for once she was more successful than him in pretending that nothing had happened between them. It might have been good enough to fool some one else, not him though.

Jane had completely forgotten Linda's parents; they hadn't crossed his mind once since he was awake. He was clearly losing his game.

"Sounds like a plan. How about we call that plan A, at least until I come up with something better?"

Lisbon stood, a smile lighting up her face and consequently sending his heart beat up a few notches up again.

"What makes you think you'll be the one with the better plan?"

"Years of experience", he said, with his usual air of confidence.

She playfully hit him on the arm.

* * *

Jane closed the door behind him and leaned against the dark wood for a moment. The excuse of getting his things allowed him a few short moments on his own. He couldn't believe what just had happened. He couldn't remember when he'd last felt like that. Of course he could pretend that he only had backed down because of the circumstances...but that would be a lie. He was scared. After he said it, there would be no way back. He suddenly felt the weight of his wedding ring. He turned it slowly with his right hand.

They would want him to move on, and he wanted it too. It was just... what if history repeated itself. The thought alone choked him. He couldn't lose her.

He almost laughed. Well it didn't really matter whether he told her this, or not. Didn't change the fact that loosing her would destroy him. He took another deep breath. What if he no longer could do it? It had been so long since he completely opened himself to another person. What if he had forgotten how to surrender himself?

A knock on the door made him jump.

"What is taking you so long?"

He shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Patience, woman", he said through the closed door. "Give me five more minutes."

He hastily changed into a new suit and gathered his belongings. He needed to get a grip. Too much was at stake for him to be distracted. If he wanted a future with her, he first and foremost had to make sure that she had one herself.

* * *

Lisbon threw a last glance at Jane, before she knocked at the door. Her hands were trembling slightly and she closed them to a fist, to make it less obvious. A few moments passed, then she could her steps on the other side and the next instant the door opened.

A woman of about 60 stood in the door. Her resemblance to both Amanda and Linda was striking.

"Yes?" she asked friendly, looking from her to Jane. Lisbon swallowed, her throat suddenly feeling very dry.

"Mrs Shaw?" she asked. She looked at Jane again, before she continued.

"I'm Teresa Lisbon and-." She stopped as the smile on Mrs Shaw's face faded. The elderly woman crossed her arms in front of chest.

"What do you want?" she asked, all friendliness gone from her voice.

"I was investigating.."

"I know who you are, Agent Lisbon." Mrs Shaw put one hand on the door, ready to close it at any moment.

"What I don't know is why you are here. We have nothing to say to you." The finality in her voice sent a chill through Lisbon.

"Who is it?" A male voice asked from out of sight and shortly afterwards a man appeared. He stopped in his track as he saw her. She had talked to him in person after Amanda's death and it was obvious that he remembered her.

He looked at his wife. "Sarah, why don't you go back inside?" he asked her soothingly. Mrs Shaw nodded and disappeared in the house, without sparing another glance for her or Jane.

"Agent Lisbon." Tom Shaw reached out his hand and Lisbon shook it, completely taken by surprise.

"How can I help you…and your friend." He looked at Jane, who had stayed in the background so far, but now stepped forward.

"Patrick Jane", he said shaking Mr Shaw's hand in turn.

"I'm a colleague and friend of Teresa."

He stood very close to her, his arm brushing against her and as ridiculous as it was, his proximity made her feel better.

"I apologise for disturbing you like this", Lisbon said. "I know talking to me is probably the last thing you want to do. But we would appreciate it very much if you would answer a few questions. "

She took a deep breath and added. "I'm very sorry about of what happened to Linda."

Tom stepped outside and closed the door behind him.

"Thank you", he said. "Why don't we take a short walk?"

Lisbon nodded; she felt Jane's hand on the small of her back as they walked down the steps and onto the pavement.

"You have to forgive my wife. It's just-"

He sighed, looking for words.

"We understand", Jane said, intently looking at the older man. "I know what it means to lose a child."

Lisbon flinched at his words. She never expected him to bring this up. Tom just looked at him and it almost felt as if they had a silent conversation, leaving her out of it.

In the end Tom was the one who faced Lisbon again.

"You said you had questions?"

Lisbon did not really know how to breach the subject. How did you tell someone that you thought his child was murdered and didn't commit suicide?

"We don't believe that Linda killed herself", Jane said that moment; choosing the direct approach.

"Nor do I", Tom immediately said. "I didn't believe it when Amanda died." He looked at Lisbon, a sad smile on his face. "And thanks to you we got clarity about that."

Lisbon turned her head away. She didn't feel as if she deserved any form of thank when it came to Amanda. The woman would still be alive if not for her.

"It might be possible that the person responsible for Amanda's death had something do with Linda too", Jane said, giving her a moment to compose herself. His hand brushed against hers and Lisbon wasn't sure it had happened accidentally.

"But he's in prison, isn't he?" Tom looked at Lisbon. "You arrested him."

She nodded. "I did, and he still is…" She stopped, unsure of how much they should tell him.

Jane didn't seem to have that many scruples. "He might be behind bars, but I'm afraid he has friends outside. He's after Lisbon."

"We don't know that for sure Jane", she interrupted him, but Jane chose to ignore her.

"Volker used your daughters murder to incriminate Lisbon, by manipulating old case files. We-", Lisbon still glared at him and he corrected himself. "I am convinced he forged your daughters suicide note, laying all the blame at Lisbon's feet to further harm her."

"That's horrible", Tom said, looking at her. "I had no idea, Agent Lisbon."

"She's no longer a Agent", Jane interjected and even if he spoke the truth, the words cut into her like a knife.

"She has been suspended and might be arrested soon."

Lisbon tried to stay calm. "That doesn't matter", she said and both men looked at her incredulously.

"I mean", she corrected herself. "It's not important now. If we are right, Linda was murdered and whoever did it has to pay for it. You have the right to know what happened to your daughter."

She threw an angry glance at Jane. "What happens to me is of no concern for Mr Shaw."

How dared Jane making her a victim, if the true victim was this poor mans dead daughter.

Lisbon hid her hands in her pockets, hating they way both Jane and Tom Shaw kept looking at her.

"I'll help you in any way I can", Tom finally said, his eyes still on her. Lisbon had difficulties reading the expression on his face. It might be something between pity and admiration, which seemed odd.

"Do you know what Linda was doing in Austin?" she asked him.

"I wish I would." Tom sighed. "I only can speculate that it was another writing retreat."

A frown appeared between her eyes.

"A writing retreat?"

"Linda was a writer, ever since she was a small child." He smiled at the memory. "She published her third novel last year. You probably should talk to her agent, but she wanted to go on a writing retreat."

He waved a hand. "She said it would help her creativity to be at a different place, meet different people. Her agent was approached by a organisation helping young authors. They organised everything a few months ago, but then suddenly something went wrong and it was cancelled."

He stopped and looked at them.

"I don't know what happened, but Linda was very disappointed. She was promised that they would find something at a later point and I guess that must have been why she was in Austin. The last time we saw her-" he had to make a pause and the pain in his eyes and voice was unmistakable.

"She said she couldn't wait to get going with her next book and that the retreat would be the perfect place to start."

He laughed. "It would be just like her to leave the moment she got the opportunity, without informing anyone."

 _A few months back…could it may be._ Jane's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Do you maybe remember where her first retreat was supposed to take place?"

His thoughts seemed to go into a similar direction as hers. Lisbon heart suddenly beat faster in her chest.

"Let me think", Tom said, rubbing his chin. "Not in Texas, I'm sure about that. It was somewhere north…"

"Canon river maybe?" Jane asked and Lisbon hold her breath.

Tom looked at him, utterly surprised. "Yes, that is it. How did you do that? I never heard of that place before, that's why I had to look it up, I remember it now."

Jane didn't answer but looked at her instead.

"That's why he knew I was in Washington", she said to him. "Everything was supposed to happen there…"

Jane nodded. "My return destroyed his plans."

A smile light up his face. "That is how we will get him. That's the mistake we were looking for Lisbon."


	15. Secrets

A/N: I'm very sorry it took so long this time. I have no other excuse than writer's block. Blame it all on me. And again, let me thank all of you! It means the world to me that you're still reading my story. I never thought that my first longer multichapter would be read by so many people (and even less I expected that many reviews)! I can't thank you enough.

* * *

 **Secrets**

"Canon River! That's it!" Jane said happily, pointing at Wylie's screen. "Dorothy Tyler owns and rents a house in Canon River. That is what she received the money for."

Wylie's finger flew over the keyboard, presumably saving this important information.

"I wish Lisbon would have known that already for her meeting", Jane said. "It would have strengthened her argument even more."

He hoped that the written conformation by Linda's literary agent would be enough to prove that the writing retreat, which indeed had been what brought Linda to Austin, was supposed to happen a few months prior in Canon River.

Wylie looked up at him. "Do you think it will be enough?" A shimmer of hope flickered across the younger agents face.

Jane shrugged, deciding to be honest. "I don't know. Maybe, maybe not." He clapped Wylie on the shoulder.

"It's more than we had two days ago, that's for sure. Together with the stolen files, they won't be able to ignore it."

He wished he felt only half as confident as he made it sound. He glanced at his watch, probably for the 20th time in the last half hour.

He had asked Lisbon in the morning to let him come with her, but she had rejected his plea immediately and vehemently. She maybe had had a point. His presence would very likely not help her, especially considering what the two agents had said about his work ethic during her last meeting.

It still did not mean he had to like it. He could not stand not knowing what was happening. His stomach lurched at the idea that they might arrest her that moment and he was just standing here, completely unaware and unable to help her. Not that he knew what he would have done to help her, if they really had tried to arrest her in front of him.

Jane looked at his watch again. It was almost two hours since she had dropped him at the office and left for her meeting. Two hours...he had not been separated from her for that long ever since she was suspended. The last days they had spent every minute together and Jane was surprised how used he had gotten to her constant presence. It had felt so good to have her close, to be able to see her, speak to her, even touch her occasionally under one pretense or the other. And most of all, he had known that she was well, that she was safe.

He couldn't but smile at that thought. It was almost ironic, because the reason for them being together day and night had been that _she_ had feared for his safety, and not the other way around. While he still did not worry about himself he started to appreciate it, because it had allowed him to keep an eye on her. Only now in retrospect he realised how reassuring that had been.

"Hey."

He looked up as Cho walked past them.

"Lisbon back yet?" the other agent asked and Jane shook his head, forcing himself not to glance at his watch again.

He took his empty cup and walked to the kitchen; he couldn't stand another question about what might or might not happen. Not that there was a particularly high risk for it, not from Cho at least. Preparing another cup of tea might distract him for a while and sounded like a good idea nevertheless.

Jane was only in the break room for a few minutes, when Abbott joined him. He seemed nervous too. So much about his plan to distract himself.

"I haven't heard from her yet", Jane said before his boss could ask the question.

"A long meeting doesn't have to be a bad sign."

Jane nodded, as he poured the hot water into his cup.

"No, not necessarily."

It also did not have to be a good sign, though.

Abbott looked at him for a moment longer, as if contemplating whether to say something more, but in the end he just turned around and returned to his office.

The tension this morning was almost tangible; the whole team was on edge. It did not help that they did not have a new case, but instead looked through some old cases from years back. Gave everyone even more time to worry about what was happening to own of their own.

Jane took a sip of his tea; his eyes found the pot with coffee on the counter. Internal Affairs had to believe Lisbon; and if not he would find a way to make them see the truth.

* * *

Lisbon was relieved as the doors of the elevator closed and separated her from all the stares. The moment she had entered the building, she had felt people's glances on her. First they had smiled but the moment they saw the visitor badge pinned to her blazer, the smiles on their faces had faded. Lisbon had refused to interpret the expressions that replaced the smiles; afraid of what she might find. She didn't know what the rumours were that circulated about her suspension. They couldn't know about the investigation, couldn't they? Unless of course they had been interviewed, but Lisbon doubted that very much. The people outside Abbott's team didn't know her and so far IA hadn't even talked to her team members. Lisbon herself never had made an effort to talk to all the other groups, too much had been happening and if she was honest with herself, she also had been afraid to learn what people might think about her. Rumours about why she came to work for the FBI must have been making the round, and she didn't want to learn about them or see the contempt in other people's eyes. Not before she had time to show them that she was a good agent, that she deserved to be part of the FBI and was not only here because Jane had requested her.

The elevator stopped and she stepped out. It had only been four days since she had left the floor, freshly suspended and not knowing whether she would ever be back. Somehow it felt like a lot longer.

Lisbon threw a glance at the bullpen. She saw Wylie and Cho at their desks; Jane was nowhere to be seen. Lisbon had hoped to find him, to be able to talk to him before she went looking for Abbott.

She walked over to the break room. Jane was standing in front of the coffee machine, his back to her. She smiled at the sight. It was almost ridiculous, how good it felt to see him. They only had been separated for a few hours, but she still had missed him. Such thoughts were not particularly helpful, considering what she resolved to do during the drive to the FBI. She hated keeping something from him.

"Are you just staring at that coffee or will you give me a cup?" she asked him, smiling as he startled and whirled around to face her.

"You're back."

He looked worried. Lisbon continued to smile at him, hoping to reassure him.

"Yeah, the meeting is over."

He just stared at her and she nudged with her head towards the coffeemaker behind him.

"I really could use one of those."

A smile flashed across Jane's face and he took a cup out of the cupboard and poured the steaming coffee into it.

He must have read on her face that the meeting had not been a disaster; he seemed a lot calmer than seconds before. Jane handed her the cup.

"So", he began, taking a sip of his tea. "What happened? What did they say?"

Lisbon closed her eyes as she tasted the coffee. It wasn't particularly good coffee, but more than anything else it reminded her of work. She was still not there, but for the first time in days she felt hope that everything might end well.

As she opened her eyes, Jane was looking at her intently. A smile played on his lips and Lisbon felt very self-consciously suddenly. She placed her coffee mug on the counter and cleared her throat.

"They talked a lot", Lisbon said, remembering that she still owed him an answer.

"What the actually said in the end was very little, though."

A frown appeared between Jane's eyes and she hastily added.

"They looked into the stolen files and what they found doesn't help their case."

Jane took another sip of his tea. "They wanted to prove that you had something to do with it?"

Lisbon nodded.

"Yes, I think that was their plan. It turned out the files were stolen month's ago. There was an incident a while back, long before I even came to work for the FBI. One of the guards left his post and someone entered the archives."

Jane smiled knowingly. "I guess I know which guard. That's why he was so nervous."

"Anyway, the guards only realised that someone had been inside the archives days after it happened. They saw the intruder during a routine check of the video recordings at the end of the week."

Lisbon shook her head, before Jane could ask the question.

"He was wearing a mask, they showed me screenshots of the video. There's no way to identify him."

She took a copy of the picture out of her bag. To her utter surprise they had given her copies of the pictures as she asked for them.

"Do they also have cameras inside the archive rooms, or just at the reception?"

"Only at the reception. That is why the guards had no idea whether he stole something, or not. They started to look through the most sensitive cases and after a while decided, mistakenly, that nothing had been stolen."

Jane had been studying the pictures for a while.

"He took something", he said and Lisbon nodded.

"I told them the same."

He immediately must have seen it, as she had. One of the pictures showed the intruder leaving and he was obviously holding something under his coat. Judged by the size, several large folders at least.

"The guards never reported the incident, I presume?"

Lisbon shook her head. "Not until they were interviewed yesterday."

Jane handed her the pictures back.

"That is just another proof that he planned this months ago. If it hadn't been for me, all of this would have happened while you're still in Canon River."

She nodded. As a small town police chief she would have had no possibilities at all to investigate herself. Maybe she could have called some people, asked for some favours... but that would have been all. She sighed; she was not even sure whether she would have dared to call Cho, or Rigsby and VanPelt. They all had started new lives and she would have felt horribly to risk bringing them down with her.

Jane was silent and Lisbon wondered, whether similar thoughts occupied his mind.

"Before I forget", Jane said that moment, "Wylie confirmed our suspicion. The old lady that received the money, she has a house for rent in Canon River. That's what they money was for. I had Wylie send the information to Internal Affairs immediatly."

Jane placed his empty cup in the sink.

"What is happening now?"

Lisbon shrugged as she placed her cup beside his.

"IA would like to meet with Abbott, that is why I'm here." She looked up at him.

"They would like our help in the investigation."

"Your help? Does this mean you'll get your badge back?"

She shook her head.

"No..", she hesitated for a moment, considering how much she should tell him. He frowned at her, very likely sensing her hesitation.

"No", she said more firmly. "I'm still suspended, but they nevertheless would like to include me."

"Why would they do that?"

She saw that he still was not convinced by her answer, he obviously sensed that there was something more to it. She always had been bad in hiding information from him.

"Can we talk about this later, Jane?" she begged. She had known that it would be difficult to keep this from him and for the third time since she left the meeting, she wondered whether it was the right decision or not.

"I should talk to Abbott now", she said before he had time to respond. She saw that he was hurt by her refusal to tell him what was going on. She sighed. He would hate her suggestion; she knew it and she didn't have the energy to argue with him about it. Not for something that was nothing more than a vague idea. She didn't even know whether Abbott or the Agent Selman and Carlson would even allow it. She would tell him, together with all the others.

He hadn't said anything for a while, his hands in his pockets.

"I'll go and see whether Abbott is around." She looked at him. "Would you like to come with me?"

She knew that he would recognise this as a weak attempt to soothe him, she just hoped that he knew there was more to her request than that. She did want him in the meeting with Abbott.

He shrugged and didn't look at her.

"If you think I should."

She wouldn't have been surprised if he'd started to shuffle his feet over the ground.

She grinned at him, despite the seriousness of the situation. Seeing Jane sulk wasn't something that happened very often.

"Come on", she said, nudging him gently in the ribs.

He looked at her and she saw the hint of a smile on his face.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing", he said as they walked towards Abbott's office.

"I have no idea what you're talking about", Lisbon replied innocently, but still smiling. It was easier to keep their discussion on a teasing note; this prevented her from feeling guilty for hiding her plans from him.

He murmured something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "bad liar". To her relief she noted that he seemed in better mood. Whether it was because she wanted him at her side for the meeting with Abbott, or because he simply decided to worry about her secrecy later; she couldn't tell. She was glad about it, though. Which on second thought might be another reason for his sudden cheerfulness. She wouldn't put it past him to sense her uneasiness about keeping something from him and decide to let it go for now to make her more comfortable. Which of course didn't mean, that he wouldn't use the same feeling of guilt on her side to try and learn the truth from her later.

* * *

Abbott didn't seem surprised to see her; Internal Affairs must have called already.

"Lisbon", he smiled, gesturing for her and Jane to sit down. He also did not comment on the fact that she brought Jane with her, which made her believe that he had expected it.

"It's god to see you back", he said and Lisbon frowned at him.

"I'm still suspended", she reminded him.

He waived with his hand as if he could simply brush away the charges against her.

"That's just a formality", he said. "They would never allow you to participate in the investigation, if they weren't convinced of your innocence."

"I guess", Lisbon said slowly. She believed him, she did… only it didn't mean this would be over for her.

"They want to meet with us tomorrow", he said. "I gave my consent, I hope that is ok."

Abbott seemed slightly unsure now, probably because she didn't behave as relieved as he'd expected her to.

"Sure", she hastily said. "That's good."

The seconds passed and no one said anything. Lisbon felt Jane's eyes on her.

"I think it would be good if not the whole team would be present", she suggested, "at least in the beginning."

Abbott furrowed his brows.

"We can do that." A short pause. "Is everything alright, Lisbon."

She nodded. "Sure. It's just…" she threw a glance at Jane. "Parts of the investigation might be better kept under wraps for now. I don't know whether they talked to you about this, but everything we discuss has to stay in this room."

She sensed that Jane sat more upright to her left.

"You don't want Cho and Wylie to know that you're off the hook?"

She looked at Jane, as he spoke for the first time since they entered the meeting.

"I'm not off the hook", she said, a bit harsher than intended. More softly. "Of course I want them to be informed. We just have to be careful. I'm not allowed to tell you much more right now."

She sighed. "The thing is. We don't know whom outside the team we can trust. Whoever is responsible for this, must have someone inside the system."

It was very unlikely that Volker could have gotten all the information he needed while being in prison without help from an insider. It could be someone in the FBI or the justice department; either way it wasn't very helpful.

"I understand", Abbott said. "And you're right. We can't be careful enough. Do you think we should have the meeting here, or rather at their offices?"

Lisbon considered his words for a moment.

"Maybe we rather hold it at their offices. The less I'm seen in this building here, the better."

Jane again said nothing, but she could feel him stare at her and she was afraid, that he might realise what she was up to.

* * *

Jane still hadn't said a word after they left Abbott's office. She had shortly talked to Cho and Wylie about the next steps. During the whole time Jane had been at her side, but he hadn't joined the conversation.

Lisbon wasn't surprised as he still was with her as she left the building.

"Don't you have to work?", she asked him, as she opened her car.

"No", Jane said. "These old cases are boring. Besides, I solved one this morning, which is more than the others did. I think I deserve the rest of the day off."

She shook her head at him and started the engine. She wasn't really annoyed that he decided not to work, but for the first time in days part of her was also afraid to be alone with him again. It was one thing to hide something from him in a room with other people, but when it was just the two of them…her hands tightened around the steering wheel at the thought.

"I solved it without talking to anyone, just looking at the file." Jane specified that moment, while fastening his seatbelt.

Lisbon rolled her eyes at him.

"How great of you. I'm sure Abbott will give you a raise." She pulled out of the parking lot.

"Well, he definitely should. I sometimes wonder what you all would do without me."

"Well Abbott for sure wouldn't have to deal with as many complaints as he does now. I speak from experience."

She glanced at him, a smile on her lips.

"You know. I have to admit, I really enjoy that part. For the first time I don't have to worry when you piss somebody off. It's much more entertaining this way."

"Glad to be of service", he said, equally smiling. "Why didn't you say that earlier, I would have tried even harder to annoy people."

"Jane", she said warningly. The effect was lost though because she couldn't prevent a chuckle.

"Where shall I drop you?", she asked him as payback.

"Oh very funny, Lisbon." He flashed her a smile. "I'm not going anywhere."

A few moments passed, before he spoke again.

"Besides, it's not as if you would have let me out of sight with..."

"Don't", she said immediately, anger rising inside her. "Don't joke about this Jane. I'm serious."

He seemed surprised by her reaction.

"He isn't after me", Jane said again.

"You don't know that!" She pulled the car to the side and stopped in a driveway.

"Why can't you take this serious for once, Jane?"

She killed the engine.

"Maybe I just should have left you at the office. Cho could have kept an eye on you. Save us both the trouble."

Jane chuckled, which made her even angrier.

"Him babysitting me would surely have been necessary in a FBI building."

His expression sobered as he looked at her.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon", he said sincerely. "I didn't mean it. I am taking this seriously, I promise."

She kept glaring at him and suddenly an idea occurred to her.

"How about I believe you, but in return you promise me not to ask me about the meeting again."

He stared at her open_mouthed.

"That's not fair", he finally said. "We both know that you're hiding something."

She just shrugged. "You will hear about it tomorrow."

She pointed at the passenger door. "So, what is it? Are you getting out or will you forget the meeting for now?"

He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Is there no room for negotiations? How about I ask you only three quest-." She didn't even let him finish.

"Take it or leave it, that's the deal."

"That's no deal, that's blackmail", he said accusingly.

Lisbon just shrugged. "Whatever." She turned around in her seat and looked at him.

"I'm waiting?"

Jane sighed theatrically. "Okay, you win. I won't mention it again. Not until the meeting, tomorrow."

The relief washed over her instantly. She took a deep breath.

"Well, now that that's settled. Where do you wanna go for lunch?"

She started the car again and pulled into the road.

"You hadn't really left me there at the side of the road, hadn't you?" Jane asked her. "I mean, alone by the roadside, that doesn't sound like a reasonable thing to do given the circumstances. And see, I do take it seriously."

Lisbon turned her head slightly away from him, so that he couldn't see the hint of a smile on her face.

"Oh believe me Jane, I would have."

He mumbled something under his breath and Lisbon's smile grew wider.

"I would have asked Cho to get you, though. Safety first and everything."

Jane leaned back in his chair. "How generous of you."

She looked at him and was rewarded with a smile. It felt incredibly good to see that he wasn't really angry with her for the way she tricked, or rather blackmailed him.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing here." He said that moment, raising a finger.

"And it's not going to work, Lisbon. If I don't like your plan, I'll say so tomorrow. Abbott and as many IA agents as there are in this building won't be enough to stop me from arguing with you, if needed."

She didn't say anything, but watched the road in front of her. She couldn't believe how easily he had again seen through her. He had known from the beginning that she was afraid he wouldn't approve of her idea and he probably correctly assumed that it involved a certain risk for her. Well, she never expected him to accept it easily the next day, the only thing she had wanted was not to have to worry about already that day.

* * *

A/N: I'm afraid like Jane you'll have to wait for the meeting (i.e. the next chapter) to learn about Lisbon's plan...unless of course you already figured it out. ;)


	16. Pen-pal

**A/N** : Thank you so much for still reading my story, and even more so for every single review I got. This chapter contains a rather important scene, which in turn made me feel rather insecure about it. The very talented and amazing Mayzee (you have to go and check out her stories if you're not already reading them!) had a look at that specific scene. Thank you so much again for your suggestions, Mayzee. Made me feel a bit less anxious to publish this chapter.

Feedback (also critical one) is very much appreciated.

* * *

 **Pen-pal**

"They're late," Jane said, watching the door.

He heard Lisbon sigh and turned his head to look at her. She and Abbott sat at a long table in the middle of the room.

"Sit down, Jane," she ordered him, pointing at the chair to her left. He opened his mouth to object, but the glance she threw at him made him change his mind.

"Don't make this difficult," she whispered as soon as he was beside her.

"Why would you say that?" he asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. Abbott to Lisbon's other side snorted behind his newspaper, trying to hide it as a cough - not very successfully.

"You know vey well what I mean, Jane." She bent her head closer to him. "They're not the enemy."

He just shrugged.

"I'm not going to pretend that I like the way they treated you."

He was surprised that Lisbon didn't punch him. She seemed clearly frustrated enough for such a gesture. He hated it that his behaviour stressed her. The last thing he wanted was to cause her any more pain, truly ... but he couldn't just behave as if everything was fine.

"They were just doing their job, Jane. I would have done the same in their position."

"No," he said firmly. "You wouldn't have. Not like this."

She shook her head at him, but didn't have the time to say something else, because that moment the door behind them opened.

Agent Carlson and his partner Agent Selman entered the room. Jane studied them intensely, noting every small detail, from the fresh coffee stain on Carlson's tie to the slightly worn off heel of Selman's right shoe.

"Agent Lisbon", Carlson greeted her first and Jane took notice of it. A mere coincidence or was this a sigh of respect towards her? They talked to Abbott before, if only on the phone, they could have given him the precedence.

"This is Agent Abbott;" Lisbon introduced their boss. Abbott stood up and shook hands with the two agents from Internal affairs. Jane's eyes followed their greetings, paying attention to every word they sad. To his satisfaction he realised that Abbott, while superficially seeming polite, carried a certain coldness in his demeanour. He was apparently not the only one feeling resentment towards the two agents in front of him. However, in contrast to Abbott, he didn't intend to hide his opinion under fake politeness.

"This is Mr Jane," Lisbon introduced him. "He's working as a consult on the unit."

"Mr Jane." Carlson made a step towards him, but Jane did not stand up to shake his hand; he just glared at him instead. Carlson stopped midway through the room, clearly startled. He looked at his partner, as if unsure of what to do next. The seconds passed and no one in the room spoke. Jane was sure that he was the only one enjoying the awkward silence.

Abbott cleared his throat and suggested for everyone to take their seats, resolving the tension in the room, at least momentarily. Lisbon made a point of bumping her leg against his rather harshly as she sat down. He flinched, but did not look at her, giving her no option to stare him down.

Carlson handed each of them a few pages, while Selman began to talk about all the evidence they gathered. Jane felt a rush of anger sweep through him. _Their evidence?_ He flicked through the pages and after a moment threw them back onto the table, making Lisbon jump slightly at the unexpected movement.

"What is this?" he asked with a cold voice, interrupting Selman mid sentence. She looked at her partner, suddenly nervous.

Jane hadn't expected an answer from her, he was a tad surprised though that neither Lisbon nor Abbott interjected.

"Why are you showing us the evidence _we_ collected?"

They may have summarised it nicely on a few pages, added some minor notes and bundled it to a dossier. It didn't change that it contained every bit of information that he and Lisbon had gathered tediously over the last days and weeks, with the help of Cho and Wylie. Nothing new was to be found in those pages.

Selman looked at him, a forced smile on her face.

"We just wanted to make sure that everyone in the room is on the same page. We are aware that your team provided us with those findings."

"Talking about the evidence," Carlson said that moment, a lot less friendly than his partner. Jane sensed a certain protectiveness from the man's side towards his partner; making him believe that they had been working together for many years.

"Most of it was collected during a non-authorised investigation. And even worse, Agent Lisbon herself was involved, which in consequence taints everything you found in the eyes of a judge."

Jane clenched his hand on the table to a fist.

"And why is that? Because you didn't do your job and we had to take things into our hands."

"Jane," Lisbon said warningly and put her hand on his. He opened his fist again under her soft touch, pressing his hand flat against the cool table instead. Lisbon did not retreat her hand immediately.

"I don't think this is the time or place for accusations on either side," Abbott said calmly.

"You're right, Agent Abbott," Selman hastily added, eager to defuse the situation.

"Mistakes happened on both sides and that's why we all met today, to avoid any further complications. We are on the same side now, Mr Jane."

He just raised an eyebrow at her. "Is that so, Agent. Why is it then that Lisbon still hasn't gotten her badge back?"

A few moments of silence followed his words and Jane saw the confusion as clear as day on the two other agents faces. The truth dawned on him instantly.

Slowly he turned to Lisbon, not surprised to find her looking anywhere but at him.

"They would have lifted your suspension yesterday." It was a statement, not a question.

"But you didn't want them to."

Suddenly everything made sense. That was what she had been trying to hide from him.

"This is your plan?" he asked her, forgetting anyone else in the room.

Lisbon finally faced him, a determined expression on her face.

"Yes." She pointed at the pile of papers in front of them. "We have nothing, Jane. You know that as well as I do. We can't prove that he's..." She corrected herself, apparently still not daring to incriminate Volker in front of IA. "...We can't prove who's behind this."

She took a deep breath. "The moment the charges against me are dropped, he'll know that his plan failed and there will be no chance for us to link him to any of this."

Jane fidgeted with his hands. He knew that she was right, knew it and hated it at the same time. Volker was not stupid. He would wait if his plan failed. Maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months...maybe even years, but at some point he would strike again. He might even skip all the effort then, make it easy und simply have her killed. The thought alone made him nauseous. He couldn't have her live in that constant state of fear; never knowing whether or when he would attack next.

"Jane?"

He looked up at her; she seemed worried. He wondered whether she said his name more than once already.

"I'm thinking," he murmured, his mind racing. There must be a different solution; there must be a way to get to Volker without using her as bait.

"What exactly do you suggest, Lisbon?" Abbot asked her and Jane forced himself to pay attention to the here and now.

"We give them what they want."

"Which is?" Jane asked. "I don't remember seeing that answer anywhere in those papers." He nodded towards the pile in front of them.

Lisbon shrugged, addressing him now and no longer Abbott.

"I can only guess, of course, but I'd say ruining my career seems a likely scenario."

Lisbon couldn't hide the annoyance in her voice and Jane knew that he partly deserved it.

"That's only the beginning and you very well know that. Volker won't rest until…" He had no scruples to mention who he thought responsible for all this, but he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. He couldn't bring himself to word the one thing he feared most in this world. He took a deep breath, using every biofeedback trick he knew to calm himself. His fear was clouding his judgment, he was aware of that.

"Okay," he finally said. "How exactly is this plan of yours supposed to work?"

Lisbon looked at him, clearly surprised.

"I'm not saying I'm ok with it," he added, not to give her wrong ideas. "But it might be reasonable to listen what exactly we're talking about, before I argue against it."

He saw a flicker of anger in her eyes. He knew he should have worded it differently. Implying that she needed his ok, his permission even, to do do something was not very likely to help him convince her. They both knew that this was her decision, and maybe Abbott's; if their boss agreed there would be nothing he could do to stop her.

"The idea is to proceed with the investigation, as if we hadn't seen any of the new evidence," Carlson explained.

"Which means?" Abbott beat him to it with his question.

Carlson hesitated for a moment, looking at Lisbon.

"We'll issue an arrest warrant for Agent Lisbon; effective immediately."

"You suggest to send an innocent agent of mine to jail?" Abbott inquired unbelievingly.

"It would only be for a few days," Lisbon herself answered. "Only as long as it would take me to be released on bail."

Jane pinched the bridge of his nose.

"What if that is what he wants?" he asked calmly. "What if he plans to stage an accident inside the prison? You might be playing into his hands."

Lisbon didn't look at him and he knew that this thought had crossed her mind too.

"There is a small possibility, but I don't think it's very likely. It will be much easier for him to target me as soon as I'm released. Without a job, probably avoided by many of my former colleagues...I think that's the moment he'll attack; when I'm supposedly most vulnerable," she said slowly.

"How can we ensure her safety during her imprisonment?" Abbott asked next and Jane already saw the answer on Lisbon's face before she spoke.

"That's the only problem; we can't. We don't know who else might be involved. Whatever we decide today, it stays in this room. We can't inform anyone inside the jail without risking the plan. In the eyes of the law, and everyone involved, my arrest and consequent imprisonment has to be real."

"What about protective custody, or how you guys call that?" Jane asked. "Isn't that what they usually do with police officers in jail? Keep them in isolation to protect them?"

"We thought about that," Agent Selman began, "but we're not sure whether this is the best option given the circumstances."

Jane nervously tapped his finger against the desk.

"You think it might be easier for someone to buy a prison guard, than another inmate?" He wasn't sure he shared their opinion.

"We're talking about a high security jail," Lisbon said. He was surprised how calm and steady her voice was.

"Most inmates serve short sentences or await trial. It's hard to predict who will be in there at a given time and for how long. Furthermore, the high security level makes it difficult for inmates to obtain weapons or even communicate with the outside world."

"You think a corrupt guard would be easier to bribe and present a larger risk?" He shook his head. "If this is supposed to make me feel better, it's not working."

Carlson spoke next. "Isolating Agent Lisbon would further decrease her visibility to other inmates and give a potential guard more possibilities to harm her. Let's rather spread the rumour that she was arrested for obstruction of justice, make the other inmates believe that she is one of their own, that she's on their side."

"This is your glorious plan then? Have her arrested and hope that the other inmates will protect her in case a bribed guard tries to kill her?"

A short pause followed his harsh words. It was Lisbon who finally spoke again.

"Well, we're all ear if you have a better idea, Jane."

His silence seemed to be answer enough for her.

"You know, I thought you of all people would understand the plan. It's not as if you haven't done something similar before."

They just looked at each other for a moment. _Vegas._ He couldn't believe that she would go there. He had caused her so much pain back then. He swallowed.

"I do remember. And I think I don't have to remind you how that ended, do I?"

Lisbon pressed her lips together and even if only for a short moment, Jane saw her mask slip. Under all this confident appearance, under all this calmness, she was scared; terrified even and suddenly Jane knew what he had to do. He needed to trust her. She needed a friend now and not someone that fought her every step.

"Okay", he said softly. "If you think this is the right thing to do; let's do it."

* * *

Lisbon placed her empty cup on the table and sat down on her couch. She glanced nervously at her watch.

"There's still time to change your mind."

Jane's voice made her lift her eyes to him. He was leaning against her couch. They had spent the largest part of the day discussing all the details now there was nothing left to do but wait for the inevitable. She hadn't protested as Jane had decided to wait with her in her flat.

She shook her head at him, looking down at her hands. "Not again, Jane. We talked about this." She suddenly felt very tired.

She didn't turn to face him as he sat down beside her, his leg brushing against hers.

"Worth a try," he said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

She looked up at him. She didn't know what he saw in her eyes, very likely something close to exhaustion... or maybe panic. Whatever it was, it wiped the smile from his face.

"You don't have to fear another discussion," he said softly. "You made up your mind and I know better than to try to argue with you."

Relief washed over her.

"Stubborn woman," he mumbled under his breath and Lisbon laughed. Without consciously thinking about it she took his hand in hers; it just felt right.

"Thank you, Jane," she said softly.

"For not arguing?" The teasing tone was back in his voice. It would have been easy to roll her eyes at him and make a snarky comment...but for some reason she didn't feel like it. Maybe it had something to do with the way his finger brushed gently over her knuckles.

"No," she said instead. "For being here, even if you hate the idea of what I'm going to do."

His expression sobered instantly.

"Of course I'm here, Lisbon. I wouldn't leave you alone today."

He smiled, still not letting go of her hand.

"Besides, you need me. Who else could give you last minute advice about jail."

"Oh and you're the expert?" She laughed.

"Well," he began. "Let me think." He counted with his free hand.

"I've been there three times, only counting the occasions I spent at least on night. That's more than you can say."

Lisbon shook her head at him. "You know that's nothing to look so smug about."

"No, wait! It's four times," he exclaimed. "I forgot the one time I was busted as a teenager." He grinned at the memory and Lisbon narrowed her eyes.

"Do I even dare to ask?"

"That's maybe a story for a different day," he said evasively, but still grinning.

He still hadn't let go of her hand and the way his fingers caressed hers drove the question she wanted to ask out of her mind.

They lapsed into silence after that. Not an awkward or uncomfortable silence, but rather the calm quiet and the feeling of safety that came from being close to someone you fully trusted. Lisbon closed her eyes for a moment, just relishing in his presence and not thinking about what would happen soon.

"Will you call me tomorrow," Jane asked, his voice sounding almost loud after the quietness, even if he spoke softly.

Lisbon opened her eyes and looked at him. In contrast to her, he seemed unsettled.

"Of course," she said. "As soon as I can get my hands on a phone."

They both knew that she would not be allowed to receive visitors on the first, maybe even second day, so the phone would be her only connection to the outside world.

"Hey," she said softly, tightening her grip on his hand for a moment. Something was bothering him. It was almost as if he was struggling to make a decision, his eyes restless.

"Jane," she said with a bit more force and he finally focused on her. Maybe it was her voice, or just a coincidence, but he visible calmed. She didn't know where this certainty came from, but she was sure that he'd made up his mind that instant. If only she would knew what it all was about.

He smiled at her and she suddenly felt nervous, and it had nothing to do with her imminent arrest.

"I'll bring you a blueberry muffin as soon as they let me visit you," he promised her, and then repeated again with more emphasis. "A blueberry one."

Lisbon rolled her eyes at him, relaxing a bit.

"How long are you going to hold that against me. It has been years, Jane. And I told you, they didn't have any."

She frowned. "Considering that you used part of that muffin for your elaborate escape plan, I should have brought you nothing at all."

He grinned. "I solved the case, didn't I?"

She just glared at him, she wouldn't dignify that with an answer.

He hesitated before his next words, only for a moment, but it was enough to make her nervous again.

"You could write me a letter," he suggested. "I always wanted a prison pen-pal." A short pause. "I could keep the letters in a box too."

"Sure," she said laughing. "I just might be back on the street long before my letter makes it to you." Only then the last thing he said dawned on her. Her laughter died immediately and her eyes went wide. She couldn't prevent that her eyes flicked to the bookshelves, where she kept the box with his letters.

"Uh...Lisbon," Jane said carefully, pointing at their hands. "Would you mind...you're kind of breaking my fingers."

She let go of his hand immediately, she hadn't even realised that she gripped him so tightly that her knuckles had turned white.

He sighed as she let go of him.

"Well," he said, sounding a tad disappointed, "that's not actually what I wanted to achieve."

"You know about the letters," she asked him, shocked.

"I wrote them, so yes, I do know about them."

"That's... you know that's not what I meant." She started to play with the cross around her neck, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks.

"I found them the morning we left for California," he told her and shrugged apologetically. "I didn't intend to snoop around." She raised her eyebrows, unconvinced.

"Seriously, I just wanted to have a look at your books when I saw the box and..." He didn't go on, but there was no need to. Curiosity just had gotten the better of him.

Her heart started beating very quickly suddenly. It had been the same morning he'd hugged her without an explanation.

"I should have destroyed them," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "I know it was dangerous to keep them, dangerous and stupid." But it had been what kept her going. She didn't dare saying that.

He smiled. "I guess it was. Part of me is glad that you kept them, but on the other hand..." His voice trailed off and Lisbon's heart sunk. Why couldn't he have found something else? Why did it have to be the letters? Why did he have to mention it now?

She looked at her hands, surprised to find them in his again.

"You're getting this all wrong," he said slightly frantic.

"Those letters..." He stopped again, struggling for words. It was so unusual to see him like this, so unsure and nervous.

"The letters weren't what they should have been," he finally managed to say. "There were so many things I should have said - but didn't."

He shook his head. "I was a coward. I had so many excuses why it would be unfair towards you to do it in a letter, not knowing whether I'd ever see you again."

He tightened the grip around her hands. Her heart was beating so loudly in her chest now, she was sure he must hear it too.

"I found different excuses after I was back. I was terrified of letting anyone close to me again - I still am." He looked at her and she felt paralysed by his glance. He was shaking now, taking quick and shallow breaths.

"You deserve to hear the truth, Teresa. I love you."

For a moment it felt as if time had stopped. She could hear his words in her mind, over and over again. He loved her. It was as if something had been lifted off her, something she hadn't even known was holding her down. For an instant she saw him as clearly as never before, then her vision blurred.

Only when Jane cupped her cheek and brushed the tears away, she realised what had obscured her vision. She knew that she needed to say something, but it was as if she had forgotten how to speak. Her eyes flicked from his eyes to his lips and back. Her left hand was on his arm, holding on as if for support. She still didn't speak, but lifted her right hand and traced the lines in his face. He closed his eyes at her touch and her heart swelled.

They were close now, so close that she could count his eyelashes.

He opened his eyes again and for a short moment they just looked at each other; then they moved. She buried her hands in his hair as she felt his lips against hers. Soft and warm; he tasted like tea. The world around her faded. Nothing mattered any longer but to feel him. His hands roamed over her back, pulling her even closer, while he gently coaxed her mouth open, eliciting a slight moan from her. She couldn't tell how long they kissed. It felt like hours to her, but realistically couldn't have been more than a few minutes.

She was out of breath when they finally parted. Slowly she opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was his smile.

"Hey," he whispered, his voice slightly hoarse. She returned the smile, still feeling dizzy, wondering whether that really just had happened.

"Hey you," she said back, pushing a lock of hair from his forehead.

The few times she'd dared to imagine something like this happening she'd always been afraid that it might be awkward afterwards, but there was nothing of that.

"Well, that was nice," Jane said, still grinning and they both started to laugh.

"Why now?" she asked him when she finally recovered enough to speak again. Her hands still playing with the curls and the nape of his neck.

He smiled. "Timing was never my strength."

She closed her eyes as he pulled her flush against him, burying his face in her neck. She was almost sitting on his lap by now.

"Well, there's one reason of course." His voice was muffled against her neck and a shiver run along her spine as she felt his warm breath on her skin.

"And what would that be?"

She rather felt him chuckle, than actually hearing it. He leaned back a bit, so that he could look at her. A serious expression was now on his face, but the twinkle in his eyes gave him away.

"I always wanted to say that."

"Say what?" she was getting more confused by the second.

"I'll wait for you."

She smacked him on the arm, but he just laughed and pulled her close again.

"Idiot", she murmured, leaning her head against his shoulder.

They stayed like this until she heard a car in her driveway. Her heart jolted and she shivered involuntarily. Jane tightened his grip around her and she knew that he'd heard it too.

"You have to let me go now," she whispered, but he only shook his head.

"Jane..." He sighed and let her stand up.

"It will be fine," she said, trying to convince not only him, but also herself.

He nodded. "It will." He leaned forward and pecked her on the lips.

The doorbell rung and Lisbon took a deep breath as she walked to the door and opened it. Two officers stood in the door.

"Teresa Lisbon?"

She nodded, her hands clutched to fists at her side to hide that they were trembling.

"You're under arrest."

She didn't say a word as they cuffed her hands behind her back; the metal felt cold against her still flushed skin.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law."

She barely paid attention to them, but instead looked at Jane. He was still standing at the exact spot she'd left him.

"I'll call your attorney. We'll get you out of there," he said, as they had agreed on during their meeting in the morning. She just nodded; she didn't trust her voice any longer.

They led her out the door and to the car. Lisbon tried to stay calm. From now on she needed to stay focused. The others couldn't protect her; the next few days she would be on her own.


	17. Talking

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading this story. I never thought that so many people would stick with it. And a special _thank you_ goes to all the guest reviewers that I can't thank in person! I can't say enough how much all your feedback (whether from guests or logged in users) means to me.

* * *

 **Talking**

Jane looked up at the ceiling, a rather dull and boring ceiling without an Elvis stain, or any other stain for that matter. He grinned at that thought, but it didn't hold for long. He closed his eyes again, trying to get a few more hours of sleep. He didn't expect this attempt to be more successful than the ones during the night, but he tried nevertheless.

It felt weird to sleep on this couch again. He'd hardly slept in the office since he started working for the FBI. On one hand because he had his airstream close by and on the other hand, more importantly, because he'd always suspected that Lisbon hated it, so why should he continue doing it? It was no longer as it used to be back in Sacramento, where he hadn't seen the point of leaving the office, of wasting the time to go to his place. He still refused to call his former motel room _home_ not even in his mind _,_ because a home it had never been; not to him.

Did his airstream now feel like home? Maybe - He realised that he hadn't really thought about that. It felt more familiar, more like him, even if it still was far from what people would consider a home.

He knew what had always felt like home. Being wherever Lisbon was. A rush of anticipation and fear at the same time swept over him. Would she expect him to move in with her? Not now of course, but maybe at a later point, in a few months from now? He never thought he would ever share his living space with another person again. Would he still be able to do it? He couldn't say, but he also felt an almost ridiculous longing to live with her. The idea of falling asleep beside her, waking up beside her, sharing everything with her.

He hadn't thought about any of this the evening before, when he finally told her the truth. To be honest, he hadn't thought any further than his confession. He never took the time to imagine what would happen afterwards, how this would change his and her life.

A smile crossed his face. He was scared, no point denying that, but he also couldn't imagine wanting anything more than to share his future with her.

Assuming she'd ever make it out of the prison again. The sense of peace and pure happiness that had filled him moments before, faded away, replaced by the nagging feeling of worry that had kept him awake almost all night. He hadn't let his phone out of earshot, eagerly waiting for her to call.

"Jane."

He opened his eyes at the unexpected disturbance. He hadn't heard Cho approaching.

"Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you since yesterday."

Jane closed his eyes again. He had ignored the calls on purpose.

"I needed some time to think," he said.

"Did you sleep here?" There was no tone of accusation in Cho's voice, it was just a simple question.

"Yep." Jane settled more comfortable into his couch. He'd had tried to sleep at least. Not that Cho would be interest in that detail; his next word made that very clear.

"Get up, Jane. We've got a case."

Jane opened his eyes and sat up, suddenly very much awake.

"Now?"

Cho couldn't be serious, could he?

"I can't work a case, now." It seemed the most obvious thing on the planet, he could hardly understand why he even had to say it out loud.

"We can't choose when a murder happens, Jane. Besides, there's nothing we can do for Lisbon at the moment."

Jane shook his head.

"I have to wait for her call. You can go without me."

"I don't think so." Cho crossed his arms in front of his chest, showing no inclination to give in. Jane sighed as a new suspicion started to take root.

"Is there a small change that you'll let me out of sight any time, today"

"Nope."

Jane shook his head, but stood up nevertheless. He probably should have expected this.

"Lisbon ordered you to keep an eye on me, right?"

"Those weren't the exact words she used, but yes, something along that line."

When did she even have time to call Cho, he wondered.

"You know this is unnecessary, Cho, don't you?" he asked in a last attempt to maintain a certain amount of freedom over the next days.

"Lisbon is overreacting. Volker won't come after me, not now."

Cho just shrugged, as they walked towards the elevator.

"Volker is not who I'm afraid of, " Cho stated as he pressed the button calling the elevator.

"I'll have to deal with Lisbon if something should happen to you."

He turned around to look at him, rather sternly, Jane thought.

"Do me the favour and don't do anything stupid. I don't have Lisbon's patience and if needed I might just cuff you to your chair."

Jane grinned at him. "As if that would hold me there."

Cho just glared at him and Jane hastily added. "I'll behave, I promise."

They stepped into the elevator.

"Just to make that clear, not because I'm afraid of you."

It seemed like a reasonable thing not to risk making Lisbon angry, now less than ever.

"Didn't believe so." Cho answered and for a short moment Jane could see the hint of a smile on the other agent's face.

* * *

An electric hum was the first indicator that something was going to happen. Lisbon climbed down from the upper bunkbed and watched the door as it slid open automatically. Mel, her young cellmate looked at her anxiously.

"What's happening?"

Lisbon shrugged. "It seems lockdown is lifted and were allowed to leave ours cells again." After a small incident between two other inmates during breakfast, they all had been locked in their cells for the larger part of the morning. At first it had been a relief to her. As long as she was in her cell, there was nothing she had to be afraid of. Mel had arrived yesterday evening, only minutes after her. The young woman, Lisbon estimated her to be not older than 25, was far from being a danger. She'd spent half the night crying and had been terrified at the thought that she was in prison. It had taken Lisbon a lot of effort to calm her down.

"I think I'll stay in here," Mel murmured, half hidden under her covers.

Lisbon herself stepped outside. The hallway between the cells was crowded with people and it took her a while to reach the common area, where a few tables on one side of a large room, and something resembling a gym on the other side, provided a means of occupation for the inmates.

Lisbon immediately saw what she'd been looking for. A few pay-phones on the wall opposite of the entrance. She took a deep breath and crossed the room, very well aware that a number of people looked after her. She tried to avoid looking directly at anyone, while still keeping her head up. About half into the room, someone stepped in front of her, blocking her path. For the fraction of a second she thought it might have been an accident, then she saw the others out of the corners of her eyes. She counted 6, at least. They'd formed a loose circle around her, cutting off every escape route. Lisbon's eyes flickered to the guards placed at the entrance to the room, realising a moment too late that this probable hadn't been the best idea. Especially because it didn't seem as if she could expect any help from that side.

"So, you're the cop, aren't you?"

The woman in front of her spoke, clearly the leader of the group. She was tall for a woman, towering over her by at least half a foot.

Lisbon tried to stay calm, recalling everything they'd talked about in her meeting with IA. Jane had warned her that something like this might happen. Honesty, she remembered, that had been his advice. Tell only one big lie and be as honest as possible otherwise.

"I was a cop", she said, looking her opponent straight in the eyes. "Do you have a problem with that?"

The women around her laughed, it didn't make her feel better in the least.

"We've got a brave one here, eh," one of them said, her words accompanied by another wave of sardonic laughter.

It immediately died as the tall woman spoke again. " _I_ don't have a problem, but you might have one. _"_

If the situation hadn't been as seriously, Lisbon might have rolled her eyes at that. These people couldn't have thought of any more clichéd phrases.

"Really?" Lisbon turned around and looked at them. Partly surprised by her own courage. She didn't really know where she took it from, maybe because it all seemed like out of a bad movie.

"And why would that be?"

She didn't give them time to answer, but continued.

"You might first wanna think for a moment, why I am here. I give you a hint, it's not because I was such an amazing cop and helped to put hundreds of you away."

The hell, she thought, why not go all-in.

And I was an FBI agent, not your common street cop."

She had the momentum of surprise on her side.

"She's a fed!"

She couldn't tell who had said it, but it didn't matter anyhow. It was clear that the only opinion in this circle that was of importance, was the one of the tall woman in front of her. She only had to convince her, the rest would follow.

"Fed or a cop, that doesn't matter; they're all the same."

Lisbon nodded. "You might be right, but I can tell you, you all would have been glad to have me investigate your cases, because there's a high chance you wouldn't be in here now if I had."

There was the lie, at least very likely. Lisbon had no idea what those people had done, but she was sure that some of them deserved to be imprisoned and she would never have let them off the hook. Which didn't mean that she'd never done it before. She had made exceptions in the past. The system was't always without fault and a few times she had let people get away with breaking the law in the past; not even counting all the times she'd closed her eyes to what Jane had been up to. As long as the women around her didn't ask her for too many details, she didn't need to lie.

"What are you trying to say?" For the first time there was something more than anger and hate in the tall woman's voice and Lisbon started to hope.

"I'm on your side, " she said.

"A dirty cop!" Someone shouted and Lisbon shook her head, angry now. Anger was good; she didn't try to suppress it.

"No! I never took money from people for what I did. I just saw no point in punishing people that had nothing for trying to change their fate. I've been there myself, I know how it is to live on nothing. Rich people made the law, why should they always win?"

It sounded ridiculous in her own ears. Why should they believe her, why should anyone believe this? Lisbon was sure she was doomed; she didn't show it though.

"Get out of my way", she said instead and pushed past them. "I have better things to do than to argue with you."

Maybe it was because she surprised them, or they just decided to let her go for now...whatever it was, no one stopped her as she walked away and towards the phones.

The adrenaline wearing off, Lisbon felt the fear rushing back. Her hands were shaking slightly and she rammed them into the pockets of her orange jump suit, hoping that it still would look like anger from afar. The phones were all occupied and the time she waited in the line gave her the opportunity to calm down again. She could still sense people looking at her, but it somehow felt different.

The first five minutes she expected to be attacked any moment, but the longer she had to wait, the calmer and more confident she felt. It had been a bold move to just wake away, but maybe it had made an impression on them. Only time would tell, she guessed.

"It's your turn."

The voice of a young woman in front of her snapped her out of her thoughts. She stepped forward and took the phone, dialling his number without even consciously thinking about it.

Her heart started to beat faster again as she waited for him to pick up, this time for a very different reason than minutes before.

"Hey."

She could hear the smile in his voice and it was contagious.

"Hey," she replied and leaned against the wall, shielding herself a bit from the person on the phone just next to her.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," she told him, her voice not as steady as she'd hoped, after what just had happened.

"Lisbon?" She could hear the worry in his voice and sighed. She'd been contemplating whether to tell him about it or not; it seemed she'd just gotten her answer. He would never believe her if she now insisted that everything was ok. Sometimes it was annoying that he could read her so well, even more so if he even managed to do it over the phone.

"Don't worry, Jane. I'm ok. There was an incident just now, but hey..." She tried to smile, even if he wouldn't be able to see it, "the secret is out now and I'm still alive."

"They know you're a cop?" he asked calmly, and then added, "Well, that didn't take long."

"You think someone purposely spread the rumour?"

Her hand immediately went to her neck, only to be reminded that they took her necklace.

"Not necessarily," Jane said slowly. "I mean it could be, but then..."

"What?" she asked impatiently as he didn't go on.

"Not to be offensive, but it's rather easy to spot that your a cop. And it's something criminals are usually good at. It pays to recognising the enemy."

She could hear the grin in his voice and rolled her eyes at him. One day she would ask him to point out what exactly was apparently screaming _cop_ at everyone and anytime; wether she tried to hide it or not. For now though, it was a strangely comforting thought. Even if she couldn't be sure, knowing that they might just have figured it out on their own was better than having to accept the fact that someone purposely tried to make her stay in jail difficult.

"I take they weren't keen about it?" Jane asked, sounding more serious again.

Lisbon suppressed the urge to turn around and check whether she was observed by anyone.

"I mean that you're a cop", Jane added, as she didn't reply immediately.

"No," she said, her thoughts wandering back to what had happened.

"Not really, but I hope I managed to convince them that I was- ," correcting herself, "that I'm on their side."

She took a deep breath, adding softly. "I listened to your advice."

She couldn't say too much. It was impossible to know who else might be listening in on her phone calls, that's why they decided to avoid saying anything that could give away their plan.

"Which one are you talking about?"

As if there had been that many, she thought smiling.

"I was honest." Well, as honest as possible, but she was sure that he knew what she meant.

"I'm glad to hear it's working." He sounded a lot less confident than he had the day before when he instructed her how to deal with threats, and Lisbon frowned.

"You seem surprised? That's not very reassuring."

There was a short pause.

"Well, there wasn't really a point in being completely honest, yesterday, wasn't there? You made up your mind to go through with this, whatever I had said. It was the best idea we could come up with anyhow, why not make you more confident about it, at least."

He probably had a point there and she was touched by the fact that he'd tried to encourage her. She didn't particularly like the fact though that he kind of lied to her. Keeping secrets as an attempt to protect each other was something they had to talk about at some point. He hadn't been the only one doing this the last weeks, she was to blame too, but it couldn't go on like this. Now was not the moment to mention this, however, and definitely not over the phone.

"Anything else I should know?" she asked next. "Something else you might have changed your mind about?"

She had meant it as a joke and hadn't referred to anything particular, but the moment the words had left her mouth, she realised that he might misunderstand them.

"No". He said immediately, his voice louder than before.

Lisbon felt nervous all of a sudden. Maybe her unconsciousness had meant the question exactly the way he had understood it.

"So what happened between us had nothing to do with ... with my arrest", she asked tentatively, her voice trembling slightly. She only now realised how much she needed him to deny that fear of hers.

"You... you didn't hope to make me change my mind, maybe?"

Thinking about it was bad enough, but saying it out loud was almost physically painful. It wouldn't be the first time though that he used her feelings as a way to manipulate her, as painful as it was to admit that.

"No", he insisted again, his voice firm.

"I meant what I said, Teresa," He sounded sincere. "You have to believe me. It's the truth."

She suddenly felt weak at her knees as she let out a breathe she hadn't even realised she'd been holding.

"Okay", she said softly. "I do believe you."

"Good." He sounded immensely relieved and she shared that feeling very much.

"I'm glad that's dealt with." She could hear the smile in his voice and from one moment to the next she felt horribly. Had she just really suspected him of having lied to her about this?

"I'm sorry," she said hastily. "I never should have asked, I-" She spoke fast, the words almost tumbling over each other. He told her that he loved her the evening before and she herself had said nothing. What signal was she sending him now by now doubting his sincerity, while he still was waiting for a similar confession from her.

"Lisbon," he interrupted her. "It's ok. You had every right to ask me this. I don't want any misunderstandings between us, ask me anything you want, anytime."

She heard him take a deep breath.

"Talking is good. We should talk about everything that frightens us," he laughed softly.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but communication wasn't our strength in the past."

She nodded, gripping the phone tighter.

"No, not really." She'd never been good at talking about her feelings. Nor had he, but he clearly showed an effort to change.

"Anything you want to ask me?" She wasn't able to hide the nervousness from her voice. If he was ready to answer her questions, she had to do the same, however difficult it might be. He deserved at least as much.

"No," he said softly. "Not now."

For a moment no one said anything, the only thing she could hear were his soft breaths and her own hammering heart beat.

"Lisbon?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

She suddenly felt a lump in her throat, which was ridiculous. It was just...he knew her so well, he immediately understood how difficult already such a small concession was for her.

She cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. It was unbelievable how something as simple as a _thank you_ from him could leave her completely undone.

"I think I have to go now" she said reluctantly. "Other people are waiting for the phone."

"I understand. I talked to your lawyer, he'll try to meet with you today, the latest tomorrow morning." A short pause. "We'll get you out of there."

She knew that he wasn't talking about jail alone, but rather her whole situation.

She nodded, then remembering that he couldn't see it, added, "I know. I'll see you soon, Jane."

"Take care, Teresa."


	18. The fake lawyer

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all your lovely comments. Seriously, they mean so much to me. I apologise again that you had to wait more than a week for an update. I struggled for quite a while with this chapter, hopefully the next one will be better.

* * *

 **The fake lawyer**

Lisbon stood up as three women entered her cell. She immediately became more alert as she sensed the hostility radiating from them.

"What do you want?" she asked, while Mel crawled into her bunk bed, trying not to be seen. It was unnecessary. Lisbon was sure that those uninvited guests were there for her and not her young cellmate.

The tall woman wasn't with them this time. After having spoken to Jane on the phone the day before, Lisbon had resisted the temptation to go back into her cell, and had instead tried to talk to some of the other inmates. That's why she knew whom she was facing now. Despite most people only being here for a short time, it was enough to develop hierarchical structures. The two women now in her cell were not particularly high up that hierarchy; they rather were enforcers of people high up, of Esther to be precise, the tall woman she'd met yesterday.

"Just talking," one of them said, but Lisbon didn't believe her for a second.

"Who were you talking to on the phone yesterday?"

Lisbon crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"That's none of your business."

It might have been more reasonable to just tell them the truth, even if they probably wouldn't believe her anyhow.

"It's suspicious, isn't it," one of them continued. "One week before Esther's trial a former FBI agent shows up here and has a long discussion on the phone immediately after talking to her."

A spy, they seriously thought she might be a spy for the prosecution?

"Are you out of your mind!" Lisbon said to them. "You came to talk to me, not the other way round. I don't care about you, or your trials and I'm surely not snitching on anyone."

She made a step towards them.

"Why should we believe you, fed?"

This was getting ridiculous.

"Do you seriously think I would have told you that I was an agent if they'd sent me in here undercover? Even the FBI would have managed to fabricate some kind of cover story."

She shook her head.

"And why does Esther send you? If she mistrusts me, I'm happy to talk to her."

Lisbon saw how one of the three women placed herself in front of her cell door, hiding them from view. She could literally feel the tension rise.

"Listen. I have no intention to cause problems, not for Esther, or anyone else in here. I'm just gonna sit out my time and hopefully before the week is over I'll be out on bail and you don't ever have to see me again."

It had been the wrong thing to say. Out of the corner of her eye Lisbon saw a movement and she ducked away without thinking. Not a second too late. She managed to evade the fist of the first one by an inch, but the second woman slammed into her and pushed her against the wall, momentarily knocking the air out of lungs. Mel screamed, but Lisbon hardly heard it; she acted in instinct, years of training taking over. Her right foot found her attackers leg and she got her off her feet, but that instant the second woman gripped for her arm and twisted it behind her back.

Mel's scream still echoed from the wall in the small cell as two prison guards burst through the door, taking them off her. A whistle replaced Mel's voice, almost deafening Lisbon.

"On the ground," one guard shouted and Lisbon did what she was asked for. After a moment her hands were cuffed behind her back and she was rudely yanked to her feet again. Her right shoulder that had hit the wall protested against the sudden movement with a new jolt of pain.

"Engaging in a fight is a prison offence," the guard informed her as they led her out of the cell. Lisbon had to fight the urge to roll her eyes.

"I wasn't fighting," she hissed, "I was attacked."

The guard didn't seem to hear her, or more likely didn't see a difference between the two.

"For your own safety and the safety of the other inmates you'll be hold in segregation until a hearing decides whether you violated prison rules."

She was led to a small cell and they removed her handcuffs.

"I need to call someone," she said, rubbing her hands to get the blood circulation running again.

"Phone calls and visits are privileges you lost until the hearing."

Her heartbeat sped up.

"What?" She suddenly felt nervous, more so than when she'd been cornered by two prison inmates just minutes before.

"When will the hearing be?"

The female guard just looked at her for a moment. "Step into your cell please. You'll be informed of a date and time early enough." She signalled to someone at the end of the corridor, as Lisbon stepped through the door. "Might take a few days, though."

"Days?" Lisbon turned around to face her again. That couldn't be true!

The heavy metal door automatically slid closed in front of her and Lisbon just stared at it open mouthed. It took her a few moments to gather her senses again. With a sigh she walked over to the small bed and sat down, burying her face in her hands. That much about their plan to have the other inmates protect her. She laid back and closed her eyes. It seemed they would find out now whether it was easier to bribe a guard than another inmate. It was not a nice thought and Lisbon opened her eyes again, staring at the now closed door. Surprisingly, it wasn't what scared her the most, though.

Jane would worry if she didn't call him again. Even worse, visiting hours were the next morning and he'd go mental if they told him that she couldn't receive any visitors. She was sure he would imagine the worst things possible. She stood up again and paced her cell, suddenly unable to sit still any longer. She just hoped he wouldn't do anything stupid, like persuading IA to blow her cover to get her out of here. She leaned her head against the wall, taking a few deep breaths. It was useless to worry about things she couldn't influence.

She clenched her hands to fist as another thought occurred to her. Being charged with a prison offence wouldn't help her getting out of here quickly. If nothing else, she surely just had increased the amount of bail by quite a bit.

* * *

Jane flattened a crease in his vest and sat down; placing the small black briefcase he'd borrowed from evidence on the table in front of him. Even after all these years, he still was surprised how easy it was to trick people. Give them what they expect to see, like in his case today an expensive looking suit and a briefcase, and they hardly bothered to check his ID.

He stood up as they opened the door again. Lisbon wore an orange jumpsuit and her hands were cuffed. She froze as she saw him, but immediately composed herself again. He was sure that his smile was a tad to enthusiastic for the occasion, but he didn't care. What were the chances that a smile would betray him, if a fake ID hadn't even achieved that.

"Miss Lisbon," He gestured to the chair on the other side of the table. "Take a seat."

The guard opened Lisbon's handcuffs, but only to use them a moment later to chain her to metal ring on the table.

"Is that really necessary?" Jane began, but then shook his head. "Forget I asked."

He glanced demonstratively at his watch. "Time is of the essence, here." Looking up at the guard. "If you wouldn't mind?"

The woman glared at him, but didn't protest as she left the room, locking the door behind her. They probably were used to arrogant layers, Jane mused.

He sat down again, still smiling at her.

"Hey," he took the briefcase from the table, to be better able to look at her.

"What are you doing here?" She seemed utterly surprised and he couldn't but grin at her. She looked adorable, even more so when she was confused.

"I'm paying you a visit," he stated the obvious, and then after a beat added. "I'm glad to see you too, Lisbon."

He caught her off guard with his words. "Of course I'm glad to see you," she stammered. "It's just..." Her eyes flicked to the door and back to him. "Pretending to be my lawyer? Really?"

"It worked, didn't it?"

She seemed nervous, too nervous for his taste.

"He was just here yesterday, what if someone remembers how he looks?"

Jane waved his hand dismissively. "They see so many lawyers each day, they don't pay any attention to them. Trust me, it'll be fine."

He smiled at her, trying as much as possible to reassure her.

She sighed, but relaxed ever so slightly.

"What happened?" he asked her softly. "I tried to visit you yesterday, but they told me you're not allowed to receive anyone?" He kept his voice casual, trying to hide that he'd spent the last day worrying about her any wake moment; meaning every single minute. Sleep hadn't been very high on his list of priorities recently. It pained him to note, that he seemed to share this particular habit with Lisbon. She looked exhausted.

"I'm in segregation," she admitted in a low voice, the chains, holding her to the table, rattling softly as she moved her hands. "They don't let me out of my cell, not even for the meals."

Jane recalled their meeting with IA.

"Why? I thought we decided not to isolate you?" Did they change the plan without informing him or Lisbon?

The chains rattled again and Jane frowned. She seemed restless and avoided looking at him.

"Well," she began. "It wasn't entirely voluntarily."

It was obvious that she was reluctant to tell him what happened, which in turn made him nervous.

"Lisbon?" he inquired again, as she didn't go on.

She sighed. "Okay, but don't freak out Jane, it was nothing." She paused and looked at him, before continuing. "I've been attacked in my cell. And believe it or not, self-defence apparently cou-"

Jane's stomach lurched. "You were attacked?"

Now Lisbon was the one to dismissively waive her hand, as much as her chains allowed; it didn't make him feel better, at least not by much.

"I told you, I'm fine, Jane. It was nothing." She smiled at him, presumably in an attempt to calm him.

"Why did they attack you?" This whole plan had been a horrible idea. He never should have agreed to this. They played in Volker hands and now she would pay for it.

"Jane!" Lisbon spoke louder, looking at him intently. She probably had given him an anwser and he'd been too immersed in his worst case scenarios to listen to her.

"It was just a misunderstanding. They thought I'm spying for the FBI" She snorted. "Me, a spy! It had nothing to do with..." She glanced at the door, as if afraid they might be overheard. "It had nothing to do with him. I know it."

"How can you be sure?"

Lisbon shook her head. "Because it was unorganised and stupid. It didn't take the guards more than ten seconds to come in."

Jane fidgeted with his hands, fighting against the urge to stand up and walk over to her. She'd been attacked! He didn't care whether _it had been nothing_ according to her words. The idea alone made him feel sick.

"If Volker had been behind this, I'd be dead now."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" He shuddered at the thought.

"No - I mean," she sighed and tried to reach for his hand only to be stopped by her cuffs.

"Nothing happened. I'm fine." She yanked at the chains and he could see the frustration hidden in that movement.

He took a deep breath. "Okay," he finally said, "if you're sure this is not him, I'll trust your judgement."

"I'm sorry I scared you," she said after a moment, looking down. "They wouldn't allow me to call you. I wanted to let you know what happened and that I'm fine.

He shook his head. "It wasn't your fault."

She moved closer to the table, raising her eyes to his. "I have to admit, I was scared you would blow my cover the moment you couldn't reach me."

If only she knew how close she came the truth with her suspicion.

"Of course not," he said, and then added hardly audibly. "It might have occurred to me to do exactly that…" He smiled at her apologetically. "Let's say, Cho and Abbott might have stopped me from doing something stupid."

"You mean stupider than sneak into a prison as a fake lawyer?" She shook her head in disbelief.

"Believe me. You don't wanna know," he said.

She eyed him suspiciously, obviously contemplating whether to ask or not. He sincerely hoped she wouldn't because then he would have no choice but to tell her the truth.

"Maybe some things better are forgotten."

He grinned at her. "A wise decision."

It probably wasn't a good idea to linger any longer on that topic, he might just risk that she changed her mind.

"Did you speak to Daniel?" he asked her instead.

"The lawyer?"

He nodded, relieved that she went along with his change of subject.

"Yes, as I said, he was here yesterday. He informed me that they'll bring me before a judge tomorrow afternoon." She leaned back in her chair. "Where did you find him? He didn't seem like the standard layer to me."

Jane grinned. "Ah yes; he has some unorthodox methods. They usually work, though. Believe me, I speak from experience. He's good."

She still looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"He used to work for me occasionally, years back..." he began explaining, but it wasn't necessary to continue. She understood what he meant.

"You needed a lawyer?"

He shrugged. "It pays to have a good lawyer if you con people out of their money. Especially in the beginning there was the occasional issue arising…"

She grinned at him. "Are you telling me clients saw through your little game?"

"No," he immediately answered. "Or well, maybe...kind of," he lifted his hands. "It only happened very rarely and while I was still pretty young."

She still didn't stop grinning and while his pride felt hurt, he happily payed that cost as long as it kept her smiling.

"Anyway, that's where I know Daniel from. He helped me back then and it turns out he made quite a name for himself over the years, at least if his rate is anything to go by."

He realised too late, that he shouldn't have mentioned the last part.

"I was kidding, " he added quickly as he saw a frown appear between her eyes. "He's not more expensive than all the other of those-"

"You're aware that one of them is supposed to get me out of here tomorrow? You might wanna reconsider how you call them." she interrupted him.

"And I'll never say a bad word against them – ever - if he gets you out of here."

"Sure," Lisbon said unconvinced, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"So," Jane began more seriously, "What did Daniel say?"

"He was very positive. To be honest, he almost seemed bored by my case. It's apparently a walk in the park." A short pause. "His words; not mine."

"Let's hope he's right." They never had talked about what they would do in the unlikely case Lisbon wouldn't be released on bail. There wasn't much to talk or think about in his opinion. They would stop this immediately and get her out. He was fairly sure that even she would agree with that. No plan was worth spending months in prison, not even mentioning that it would be way to dangerous if they really thought Volker wanted to get to her inside prison walls.

Lisbon sighed. "The only thing is..." she grimaced, "my apparent violent behaviour won't help."

"What?" He asked, momentarily confused.

"Fighting in prison," she reminded him. "Well, there's not much we can do about that. I'll just have to wait and see." Another grimace, before she added. "I hope they won't demand too much money."

"I can pay it," he immediately said.

"No." Her chains rattled again and he was sure she would have crossed her arms in front of chest without the handcuffs.

"I just mean in case it's too much for-"

"No," she repeated. "You're not going to pay this for me. I'll find a way. I have a bit of money, it should be fine."

"I'm just saying…" Jane started tentatively but she didn't let him finish.

"No."

"Oh come on, Lisbon. Should I let you rot in jail or endanger the whole plan, just because you're too proud to take some money from me?"

She moved on her chair uneasily and he suddenly started grinning.

"Don't tell me you would have let me pay happily last week?"

"No," she hesitated and then admitted. "Okay, maybe things have changed."

He shook his head at her. "It's only bail, Lisbon. It's not as if I'm offering to buy us a house. Besides, I'll get the money back anyhow", he looked at her, "unless of course you plan to flee the country the moment they set you free." He chuckled slightly, before he saw that Lisbon seemed lost for words. It took him another few seconds to realise, that it had been his remark about the house that struck her like this. She seemed to shook herself out of it, though, before he could say something.

"Let's wait and see what amount of bail the judge sets. I'm sure this whole discussion is unnecessary because I'll be perfectly able to raise my own bail."

He leaned back in his chair. "As you wish. Just one thing," he waited until she looked at him. "I'd give you the money for very selfish reasons, Lisbon, not that you misunderstand me. As long as you're in here, I'll have to deal with my personal prison guard on the outside and I don't know how much longer I can take that."

Lisbon laughed and the sound was like music in his ears.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

He raised his eyebrows at her; that hadn't sounded very convincing. "That's all you have to say? He hardly lets me out of sight, I feel like a five year old."

She didn't look guilty at all. "I'm glad to hear that. Considering what you told - or rather didn't tell me before, I think asking Cho for help was a very good idea on my side."

He knew very well that she'd had a different reason to keep him under surveillance; he saw no reason though to bring Volker back into their discussion now. He enjoyed the angst free atmosphere way too much.

"When did you even have time to talk to him?" This question had puzzled him ever since he knew of his new guard dog.

"Well, you'd like to know that, wouldn't you?" She grinned and he knew that she wouldn't tell him; at least not today.

He looked at his watch and his heart sunk. They'd given him 20 minutes and the time was almost over. He felt her eyes on him.

"Time to go?" she asked quietly, not managing to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

He nodded. "I'm afraid so."

He stood up and walked slowly around the table, taking his briefcase with him. He stopped immediately beside her and opened it, placing a few loose pages in front of her on the desk.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, a slight tremor of anticipation in her voice telling him that she very well knew what he was up to.

"Providing an alibi, in case someone enters." He arranged the last sheet and then looked at her. "I somehow would have to explain what I'm doing on your side on the table."

He smiled at her, as she took one of his hands in hers.

"And what would that be?" She cleared her throat. "I mean what you actually intend to do?"

He lifted his free hand to her face, gently tilting it towards him.

"What do you think? Saying goodbye, of course."

He bend down and kissed her softly, smiling against her lips as her hand tightened around his on the table. He detracted his hand gently from her grip and framed her face with both hands instead, intensifying the kiss.

After a few moments he pulled back; blood rushing in his ears. He kept his eyes closed as she leaned her head against his stomach. His hands were slightly trembling as he run them through her hair. He was overwhelmed by how strongly his body reacted to her. He took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself.

"I have to go now," he whispered and pressed a kiss to her hair.

She nodded and leaned back in her chair, as he gathered the documents and threw them back into his briefcase.

"I see you tomorrow."

Her answer was again only a nod. He was already at the door and had knocked once, when her voice caught up with him.

"Jane!"

He turned around and that moment his feeble attempts to control himself failed him completely. His breath caught in his throat as her eyes lingered on him. He'd never seen her look at him that way.

Her eyes met his. "I missed the vest."

The door opened and he swallowed. "Good to know. I'll remember it."

He walked past the officer at the door. He needed to get some distance between him and that room, otherwise he couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't run back in there to kiss her senseless.

By the time he reached the car, he had cooled down a bit and felt ready to face Cho.

"Hey," he said as he opened the door and took his seat. He was surprised to see Cho facing towards him, he'd expected him to be hidden behind a book. It took him another few seconds to read on the other agent's face that something wasn't right.

"What?" he asked alarmed.

Cho started the engine. "Wylie just called me...we have problem."

* * *

A/N: Thanks to the guest reviewer pointing out to me that there was quite a high number of typos in this chapter. I had another look at it and hopefully eliminated most of them.


	19. News

**News**

Jane stared at the screen, feeling Wylie and Cho both look at him. He knew that they were waiting for him to say something, to show any kind of reaction. He hadn't spoken a word since he and Cho had reached the FBI bullpen and Wylie had showed him the footage.

He knew that he must seem calm on the outside, but his mind was racing. Anger soared through him, threatening to cloud his judgement and making it difficult to concentrate on what hew was seeing. He hadn't felt such rage in a very long time. Volker would pay for this; he would make him pay.

"Show me another," he said suddenly, looking at Wylie. "You said there's more than one, didn't you?"

The young agent nodded and after a few clicks another scene flickered across the screen. It was very similar to the first one. Not surprisingly - one news studio looked like the other after all. A young blond woman presented the news in this particular studio.

Jane's stomach lurched as they showed a picture of her. It had been taken during one of their old CBI cases, Jane even remembered the day. She wore one of her leather jackets, her hair tightly pulled back in a pony tail. She looked fierce and strong, but someone knowing her as well as him could see the smile tugging at her lips. He momentarily didn't pay attention to what the woman was saying, too lost in what he saw. He couldn't, however, miss the stream of letters under the picture.

 _Teresa Lisbon; the deep fall of a former hero. Once famous for taking down California's most notorious serial killer Red John..."_

Jane frowned and lifted a hand, indicating for Wylie to stop the video.

"Former hero? I thought they didn't give her, or any of you, credit for taking down the Blake Association?" The question was directed at Cho, who seemed a tad surprised by it.

"You never asked her about it? About what happened after you left?"

Jane shook his head, feeling an odd mixture of embarrassment and sadness.

"It didn't come up."

Cho just looked at him for a short moment, then seemed to remember that he still owed him an answer.

"The FBI never acknowledged what we did... but somehow the media got wind of it. I don't know how this came about, or who spoke tho them; it wasn't us. However, a few days after you left, the first reports started."

Cho paused for a moment, seemingly considering how much he needed to tell him.

"A state wide conspiracy in law enforcement - the media and the public in general, they were going crazy. It was all over the news for days-" he corrected himself, "weeks even. Many local politicians didn't like the idea that the CBI was dismantled by an FBI division from another state." He laughed, a humourless and dry sound. "I doubt most of them even knew that we existed before everything went down; they all just used it to distinguish themselves. With the elections approaching, they jumped onto the rumours that it was, in fact, a handful of CBI agents that unmasked Red John and uncovered the conspiracy. They talked about all of us, but mainly Lisbon; not that she asked for it. She resolutely refused to talk to them."

He shook his head and for a short moment an air of sadness seemed to surround him.

"It didn't help her. The more the media was on her side, the harder the FBI made it for her. I was surprised they didn't arrest her on some false pretence, just to stop her from getting all the positive attention. In retrospect, this might have been Abbot's doing. I didn't see it at at the time, but I think not long after he arrived, he was fighting for and not against us."

A few moments of silence followed his words. Regret and guilt washed over Jane, his heart sinking at the thought of what Lisbon had gone through after his escape.

He took a deep breath, trying to focus on what was important now.

"Can you start the video again," he asked Wylie.

Jane focused on what was said this time; it pretty much matched what they'd reported on the first newsfeed. Conspiracy, obstruction of justice...

" _We all thought she helped uncover one of the biggest cases of conspiracy in the history of law enforcement, but since her arrest we have to wonder, has she maybe been part of it all along?"_

He closed his eyes as a new wave of anger welled up in him. Lisbon of all people didn't deserve this. She'd given everything for her job and that was how they thanked her? For the first time he took notice of the logo of the news station. It was a local station from Sacramento.

"How many did you find altogether?" he asked Wylie. "Was it just the two of them?"

The young agent shook his head. "No," he looked at Cho as if for support, before he continued."We have altogether three stations in California and two here in Texas. The content is very similar in all of them."

Wylie rummaged through a pile of papers on his desk and handed Jane one page.

"Plus one article in the Austin chronicle."

It was just a small note, no picture, Jane noted with relief.

"Oh, and I almost forgot," Wylie added, his fingers moving over the keyboard again. "I found another station reporting it just before you arrived here." A new window on his screen popped up.

"It's weird, though," he continued, "I mean I understand why California, that's where she lived and worked and now Austin...but why-"

"Chicago," Jane said, before Wylie could finish his sentence.

The young agent seemed utterly surprised. "How...?"

"Lisbon is from Chicago," Cho said, beating him to the answer. "Her family still lives there."

Jane stared at the moving pictures in front of him, without really seeing them.

"He tries to break her," Cho said calmly, speaking out what Jane long had realised.

"Taking her job wasn't enough, he wants to humiliate her publicly."

"We have to call the news stations," Jane said after a moment. "He must have leaked this information to them." He shook his head. "I wouldn't even be surprised if he payed them to broadcast this. I mean," he pointed at the screen, "A cop gone wrong? That must happen all the time. I not sure this would have been worth a report on it's own, even considering her role in the past."

Wylie nodded but Jane could see that Cho hesitated.

"I think we should talk to Abbot first."

"Why?"

Cho lowered his voice. "We have to be careful about what we do. The idea was to make Volker believe that everything goes according to his plan. Why would the FBI officially investigate a news report about a former agent of theirs, if they believe her to be guilty?"

Jane considered this for a moment. He hated to admit it, but there was a certain truth to Cho's words.

"You might be right," he finally said. "It shouldn't happen through an official channel. However, not doing anything might be equally dangerous. Volker isn't stupid. He knows that I won't believe him, he'll expect me to do something."

He looked at Cho. "He might even expect you to stay loyal to Lisbon. I don't know how much he knows about you, about all of us. I'm sure, however, that it would be very suspicious if we all abandoned Lisbon immediately."

Cho nodded. "I see your point. I'll make some personal inquiries, but we keep the FBI out of this."

Wylie hadn't spoken in a while, but now he asked. " What does that mean? What are you talking about?"

Jane looked at him. "If we want to make Volker believe that Lisbon is on her own, vulnerable and an easy target, we slowly have to pretend to distance ourselves from her. Abbott will be the first. He won't receive her or talk to her after her release." Assuming of course that she would be released, which he was pretty confident about at this stage.

"From all we know it's very likely that Volker keeps tabs on her and will continue to do so after her release. We therefore have to be careful and do it step by step. You'll be the next to give up on her."

"Me?" Wylie asked astonished.

Cho nodded. "It's the most likely scenario. You don't know her as long as we do, why would you believe her if there's convincing evidence against her and even your boss decides to cut all ties?"

"Okay..." Wylie didn't seem happy about their plan.

Cho's phone started ringing, but after a short glance at the screen he put it back into his pocket. Jane looked at him, his eyebrows raised.

"VanPelt," Cho said. Adding after a moment. "Not for the first time. She might try you next."

Jane sighed. "I guess we can't keep avoiding them for much longer?"

"No. But what are we going to tell them? The truth?"

Jane shook his head slowly. "No, it would be too risky. I think for now we should stick to the story that IA is officially investigating and we haven't found enough to refute the evidence against her."

He knew that they could trust their former colleagues, but the more people knew about it, the higher the risk that something would leak to the outside. They didn't even know whether someone was listening to their phone calls. No, it was the safest option to keep this among themselves for now.

"I'll do it," Cho said after a moment. "I just hope I can convince them not to come here."

Jane was glad that he wasn't the one to have to do the deed.

"Should we tell, Lisbon?"

He flinched at Wylie's words. He would have given everything to spare her this information, but there was just no way.

"No, not yet," he said, watching Cho as he walked away to make the call.

"There's no way to contact her right now and even if…there's no point adding this to the list of things she has to worry about at the moment."

He sighed. "As soon as she's out on bail, I'll tell her."

Suddenly calling VanPelt and Rigby seemed like the easy task, compared to what he would have to do. Not that he ever would have trusted anybody else with this. He stood up and walked over to his couch. He needed some time alone. The prospect of having to tell Lisbon, felt like a heavy weight pulling him down. She would be so relieved to escape prison, to being again surrounded by people she trusted and not having to expect the worst at any moment; maybe she was even looking forward to seeing him again...and that's when he would need to deliver the next blow. He fervently hoped that she would not learn the truth while still in prison, but considering that she likely was still in segregation and as far as he knew had no access to a TV; she should be safe.

He'd been so looking forward to seeing her again and now their reunion would be tainted by what he had to tell her. If there only was a way to protect her from all of this, to keep her safe and happy. They needed to end this. But how? Even if their plan worked and Volker would send someone to attack her, would they ever be able to prove that it was him? Jane didn't try to think about it, because he knew that Lisbon would hate it, but as long as Volker was out there, she wouldn't be safe.

* * *

"It will be fine, Teresa." Daniel seemed overly optimistic, which for some reason didn't make Lisbon feel any better.

"I hope so," she murmured, looking at her cuffed hands. After having spent another day in segregation, she was desperate to be released. She'd always been used to spend most of her time alone, but somehow this wasn't the same. Being locked in a small cell with hardly any interactions with other people was slowly getting to her. And it didn't help that she half expected someone to sneak into her cell during the night to murder her.

Daniel looked at his watch. "We'll be next," he said and Lisbon swallowed, her nervousness increasing tenfold.

"You won't have to say anything." Her lawyer advised her. "Just nod," he grinned, "and maybe smile."

She glared at him. "Okay, forget the smile, just try not to look at them like this."

He stood up as the door opened.

The officer beside Lisbon signalled her to get up as well and led her into the courtroom. She'd been in so many courtrooms before, but she never had to take seat on the defendants chair; it wasn't an experience she was eager to repeat.

She stood up as the judge entered and used the opportunity to look back. She'd expected it but it nevertheless felt good to see Jane. He smiled as their eyes met. He and Cho were the only visitors, which wasn't surprising considering that this was merely a bail hearing.

She turned around, taking another deep breath. It didn't make any sense, but having seen Jane made her feel better.

"Miss Lisbon," the judge began, "You are charged with using your position as a state agent for personal gain." He listed all the detailed offences they hold against her, before he asked the district attorney to give his opinion.

"Considering the seriousness of the charges held against her I suggest to set bail at 100'000. Miss Lisbon has no family in Austin and is therefore at a higher flight risk. Furthermore she proved during her stay in jail that she struggles with violence issues, further recommending to keep her in prison until the appointed trial."

Lisbon wanted to speak but Daniel shook his head and she bit back her answer, even if it wasn't easy.

"Defence attorney, would you like to add something to this?"

Daniel stood up. "Miss Lisbon has never been in conflict with the Law before. She pleads not-guilty and has been very cooperative throughout the whole investigation. As a member of law enforcement she's at a high risk in prison, which also explains why she has been attacked. An act of self-defense hardly qualifies as having a violent temper. I highly recommend setting a lower bail."

Lisbon mostly stared at her hands, hardly listening to what they were saying after those first statements. After five minutes, that felt like an etereny to her, she heard the words she'd been waiting for.

"I agree with the defendants attorney that Miss Lisbon doesn't pose an imminent threat and there's nothing indicating that she will flee the country. I set bail at 50'000. This hearing is over."

She closed her eyes for a moment. It was more money than she hoped for, but they would let her go.

Daniel clapped her on the shoulder as they left the courtroom.

"See, I told you." He seemed pleased with himself. "I'll talk to Jane. Don't get too comfortable back in your cell, you'll be out in a few hours."

* * *

The heavy door closed behind her and Lisbon took a deep breath. A cold wind greeted her outside and she put her hands in the pockets of her jeans. She didn't have a jacket, but was only wearing the clothes in which she'd been arrested. Her eyes searched the parking lot and her heart jolted as she saw Jane. She slowly walked over to where he was standing. She'd been half afraid that he would take the airstream to pick her up, but instead he was leaning against her car. For once she didn't mind that he took the liberty to borrow it. Her heart beat faster as she approached him. He was still wearing the same three-pieces suit as he had during her hearing; he looked beautiful. She suddenly felt a deep longing to touch him, but as she finally reached the car, something hold her back.

"Hey," she said, the slight tremor in her voice giving away how nervous she was.

Jane smiled at her, making her knees go weak.

"Hey," he replied, stepping closer into her personal space. He was so close, she could feel the heat radiate off him and from one moment to the next her slight nervousness was gone. She raised her face to his and kissed him softly on the lips. A sudden feeling of warmth spreading through her as she felt his hands on her waist, pulling her closer. She hugged him and buried her face in his neck, deeply inhaling his scent. The tension that had been her constant companion the last days slowly left her until she felt completely relaxed and safe.

"It's good to see you," Jane murmured in her hair and she took a step back, looking at him.

"It's good to see you too."

He still smiled at her but something wasn't right. It almost seemed to her as if a shadow was looming behind his eyes. She frowned at him."Are you alright, Jane?"

She could have sworn that he flinched slightly at her words.

"Sure, I'm fine." He rubbed his hands against each other to get warm.

"We probably should get going. Cho will meet us later at your place. There's a lot we have to discuss."

Lisbon nodded, still not really convinced that everything was alright.

He offered her the keys. "Do you wanna drive?"

She shook her head, feeling tired. "I'd rather not, if that's ok with you?"

"Sure," he looked at her and she again had the bad feeling that he was hiding something. She couldn't really tell why, but she couldn't shake off the feeling.

"Do you have my phone?" she asked him as she walked around the car to the passenger side.

This time he hesitated visibly. His hand was on the door handle, but he didn't open it.

"Jane?" She walked back to him.

He sighed, as he took her phone out of his pocket. She hold her hand out to him and he reluctantly placed it in her palm.

She turned it on but the next moment Jane laid his hand on her.

"Wait!" He took a deep breath, "There's something I need to tell you first."

Now she was really worried.

He closed his fingers around her hand as the screen of her phone lit up.

"There was a new development while you were in prison," Jane began slowly, but then didn't go on.

"I'm listening." She glanced at her phone and quickly entered the pin. Jane let go of her, staring at the phone as if he expected it to explode any moment.

"For god's sake, Jane." She was getting annoyed. "What happened?"

Her phone beeped once and she almost let it slip out of her hands as she looked at it. 29! She had 29 missed calls and messages.

"What the hell happened? Is somebody injured, is it my brothers?"

"No." He put his hands on her shoulders. "Everyone is well, Teresa."

She took a few deep breaths, trying to steady herself.

"Then what the hell is going on?"

He moved his hands up and down her arms. "You were on the news."

"On the news?"

Jane nodded and took her phone out of her hands. After a moment he gave it back to her.

"See for yourself."

She watched it, her hands slightly shaking. It took her all the effort not to throw her phone away. Instead she slammed her fist on the roof of her car. "Damn it!"

Jane reached for her, but she stepped away, flexing her hand to stop the pain.

"Where?" she asked, not looking at him. "Where did they broadcast it."

"Here and in California." He hesitated again and she closed her eyes, knowing what he would say next. "And in Chicago."

She looked at her phone again, opening the list with all the missed calls. The first was from her oldest brother.

"Teresa?"

She couldn't bring herself to look at him. Jimmy was the next caller, followed by Tommy. She went through the list. They had tried to call her again and again, probably confused and worried, with each call more so. They hadn't been the only ones, though. She saw many names of people she used to work with, VanPelt and Rigsby among them. Half down the list Minelli's name sprang into her eyes and for a moment she felt as if someone had slapped her.

"Teresa?" Jane called her again, more insistently and she finally looked up at him.

"Hey," he said softly, his voice full of compassion.

She turned away from him, taking a shaky breath. She couldn't look at him, she couldn't let him touch her; not now. She wouldn't be able to hold it together if she did.

"Let's go", she said instead, walking back to the other side of the car. She could feel his eyes on her.

"What are you waiting for?"

He flinched at her words, but finally unlocked the car. She opened the door with more force than necessary and got inside. Slowly she began to understand what had happened, what Volker hat done. She didn't doubt for a moment that this had been his work.

Her fingers were shaking so much now that she needed two attempts until she managed to fasten her seatbelt. She concentrated on the anger soaring in her. Anger was good, anger would keep her together.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon. I should have expected him to do something like his."

"Don't, Jane!" She snapped at him. "Don't apologise. You were against the plan from the beginning, don't even think about saying this was your fault."

She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes; feeling even worse than before now that she had shouted at him. This was a nightmare; for a moment she'd almost wished being back in prison.

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the chapter, I know it's not particularly well written. I'll try to do better next time.


	20. Surveillance

**A/N:** Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. The following chapter is a rather quiet and uneventful one, I hope you don't mind too much.

* * *

 **Surveillance**

The moment they entered her house, Lisbon spoke for the first time since they'd left the parking lot. Jane had thought about saying something several times during their drive, but in the end he'd decided against it. She was upset and obviously would have preferred to be alone, the least he could do was to try and make himself invisible. A small part of him felt hurt that she still chose to retreat when in pain, instead of allowing him to be there for here. But then…he had to admit that he might have done the same in her position. Their relationship was only slowly changing and it would take time until they were able to be completely open with each other. Still, it was almost unbearable to see her suffer like this and not being able to provide any kind of help or comfort.

"I have to call my brothers," she informed him, as soon as he closed the door behind them. It didn't come as a surprise.

"Okay." He tried to sound reassuringly, as much as this was possible with a monosyllabic word. After hesitating for a short moment, he added. "What are you going to tell them?"

She stared at the phone still in her hand, she hadn't let go of it ever since he gave it to her.

"Not the truth. Don't worry, I'm not gonna ruin the plan!" She walked into her bedroom, and Jane shook his head with a sigh. She'd chosen to understand his question in the worst way possible.

He slowly walked into the living room, trying not to think about what had happened the last time they he'd been in this room together; the feelings rushing through him then couldn't have been farther from what he felt now. Except maybe for the last minutes of the evening; he couldn't say that he fondly remember her arrest, just everything that happened right before.

He glanced at his watch; it would still be a while before Cho joined them. Enough time to prepare something for dinner, even at the risk that Lisbon wouldn't feel like eating.

Almost an hour later he was again in the living room; still alone. He'd prepared everything, they would be ready to eat as soon as Cho arrived. He glanced towards the hallway leading to her bedroom, probably for the 10th time in the last five minutes. She still hadn't come back. It was a while since he had heard her muffled voice last and he suspected that she had finished her calls and was now hiding back there. He slowly walked towards her room. The worst he could expect was that she shouted at him and that already had happened today; he had nothing to lose therefore.

He quietly knocked at the door and opened it. She was sitting on her bed, her face buried in her hands. She apparently was so deep in thoughts that she hadn't even heard him enter. Jane's breath caught in his throat at her sight; she looked downright miserable and seeing her like this was almost physically painful.

He leaned against the doorframe and just watched her, unsure of how to proceed. The phone lay forgotten beside her on the bed.

After a moment she looked up and startled as she saw him.

"How long have you been standing there?" There was no anger in her voice, she only sounded exhausted. Jane suppressed the urge to walk over to her, he couldn't forget how she had avoided his touch back on the parking lot.

"Not long," he said calmly. "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

He sat down beside her, as closely as he could without brushing against her.

"How did it go?" he asked, nodding with his head towards the phone.

"What do you think?" It had been a stupid question, he should have known it. Lisbon sighed, and then added. "I only called my brothers. And Minelli, but he didn't answer his phone, so I left a message."

It was obvious that she was very much relieved that she'd missed her former boss, at least for now.

"I guess I should try VanPelt and Rigsby next."

"That won't be necessary." Jane interjected. "They tried to call Cho and me yesterday and he talked to them."

"Good. That's one call less I have to make."

"You don't have to call everyone, Lisbon," he said carefully.

"Of course, I have to. I can't just ignore them!"

He carefully considered his next words. "What I'm trying to say is, you don't owe everyone an explanation, Lisbon. Call the people that are most important to you and leave the rest. They either will understand and stay on your side, or they are no true friends of yours anyhow."

Lisbon pinched the bridge of her nose and he knew that she was seriously contemplating his proposition, not because she liked it, but because even she had her limit of what she could take on a single a day.

"I might not call them myself, but I won't ignore incoming calls."

Well, that was at least something, he thought.

"When will Cho be here?" Lisbon asked him in a rather obvious attempt to change the topic.

"In 20 minutes, maybe half an hour. I prepared something to eat, we'll be able to talk over dinner."

She looked at her hands again. In fact, she hadn't looked him in the eyes once since he entered her room. Maybe this whole meeting with Cho had been a bad idea. What she needed was a quiet evening and sleep; not hours spent discussing and brooding over what to do next. That could wait until the morning.

"I can call Cho and tell him to come by tomorrow morning instead," he proposed, "we don't have to do this today."

This time she looked up at him. "Do I look that bad?"

"No, of course not! I just thought you deserve some rest after everything that happened today."

She smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Nice save."

She sat up more upright, visibly pulling herself together. "Let's stick to the plan," she sounded determined. "The sooner we start talking about this, the better." She tilted her head to better look at him. "Unless you need the rest." He hold her gaze as she studied him, a frown appearing between her eyes. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

Jane lifted his eyebrows. "Who's looking bad now, eh?" He saw the moment her posture shifted and she went from being miserable to being worried about him. This wasn't what he'd wanted when he went looking for her. He hastily tried to reassure her. "I'm used to working on very little sleep, don't worry about me, Lisbon." She still didn't seem convinced and he rolled his eyes at her.

"For heaven's sake, woman. You're impossible. I'm trying to tend to you here, so stop fussing about me in turn."

A small smile flashed across her face. "So that's what this is about? I already wondered what brought you in here."

He looked around, as if only now remembering where they were.

"Well," he said after a moment, "Considering that this is your bedroom, something else might come to my mind."

She playfully hit him on the arm and Jane used the opportunity to scoot closer and sneak his arm around her.

He closed his eyes as she leaned her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you," she whispered, the teasing tone that had filled her voice moments before, gone now.

"It's okay," he said, "Don't worry about it." He pressed a kiss to her hair while she absently played with the buttons of his vest.

The piercing ringing of her phone cut through the silence and she tensed in his arms.

"No," Jane softly hold her back as she tried to pull away. "Leave it, they'll try again."

"I can't." She drew back from him and took her phone. He didn't let go of her completely, but kept his arm around her shoulders. Her breathing hitched as she looked at the caller's ID and he tightened his grip around her.

"It's Minelli," she whispered, a slight tremor in her voice and her eyes fixed on the screen. The seconds passed and the loud ringing still echoed off the bedroom walls. She couldn't do it, she couldn't bring herself to answer it. He knew it with absolute certainty.

"It's ok, Teresa" he said softly, taking the phone out of her hands. "You don't have to do this now." She didn't stop him as he gently pulled her back against him.

"It can wait," he said, stroking her hair. She turned her face into his chest and took a long breath. For a while no one said a word and Jane felt her relax against him, her breathing slowly matching his.

"I'll still have to call him, you know? I'm only postponing the inevitable," Lisbon suddenly said against his chest, "I'm being a coward."

He shook his head. "You're being human. And now stop worrying for a moment."

She murmured something unintelligible and he grinned, it probably was for the better that he didn't catch her words. After another few minutes he could feel her getting restless and he knew that it was only a matter of seconds before she would draw back.

"See?" he said teasingly, "that's how you let someone take care of you. Wasn't that difficult, was it?"

She laughed and gently elbowed him in the ribs, before she pulled back.

"Idiot," she murmured and he knew that she must be feeling better, if she started insulting him. She stood up and picked her phone from the bed. Yeah, he thought, she definitely looked better.

"I have to make that call now," she told him, "and when I'm done, we'll find a way to get that bastard. Volker is going to pay for what he did." Her voice was firm and strong and Jane couldn't but stare at her; his fierce little warrior. She frowned at him and he realised that she was waiting for a response from him.

"Sounds like a great plan." He stood up with the intention of leaving, but he couldn't take his eyes of her. The fire in her eyes made her look irresistible. With a few quick steps he approached her, pulled her flush against him and kissed her hard.

The doorbell interrupted them minutes later, which probably was for the better. Any moment longer and he wasn't sure whether they would have managed to leave the bedroom any time soon. He panted slightly as they parted. "Make your call", he told her. "I'll keep Cho busy for the time being."

* * *

They'd eaten without mentioning Volker, or anything that had to do with him. It had been nice just to talk and not worry for half an hour. Almost as nice as Jane's methods of helping her relax; but only almost. Lisbon smiled at the memory and took a sip of her wine. He only could have been even more successful in making her feel better, if he'd opted directly for the strategy he followed in the end. Her heartbeat spiked only remembering that kiss. She half regretted that Cho had chosen that moment to arrive…she had a pretty good idea what she and Jane would be doing now if he hadn't interrupted them. Lisbon hastily took another sip of wine; suddenly feeling very warm. She caught Jane watching her and had the bad feeling that he knew exactly what she was thinking about. And if he hadn't, she was sure her blush just had given it away.

She cleared her throat, deciding that it was time to move the discussion to more serious topics. "Did you find what I asked you for?" She directed the question at Cho.

He nodded and stood up to get a bag he left beside the door. He took out two phones and handed her and Jane each one.

"What's that?" Jane asked.

"Burner phones", Cho gave them each a small piece of paper, "and a list with all our new numbers. Lisbon thought it's best not to use our regular phones if we discuss anything related to the case."

"Thank you," she said, grateful that he organised everything while she'd been in prison.

She looked at the note with a sinking feeling. Besides Jane's, Cho's and hers, the numbers of Wylie and Abbott, as well as the two IA agents were listed. Seven people, including her, that was all they had.

Furthermore, with the exception of Jane who probably would refuse to go back to work and herself, 5 of those people had jobs to attend.

"When did you have time to talk about this?" Jane asked them, then adding. "Let me guess, it was at the same time you ordered Cho to never let me out of sight?"

"Maybe," Lisbon answered with a small grin, still deciding that he didn't need to know everything. She was enjoying his almost childish jealousy about the fact that she talked to Cho; it was kind of endearing.

"Well," Jane began, "grin as much as you want, soon you'll know exactly how I felt those last days. I hope you're aware that we won't let you out of sight for even a minute."

There was a new seriousness to his voice making it very clear, that he meant every word he said.

Lisbon sighed. "We shouldn't make any rushed decisions." She glanced at Cho but for once he seemed to be on Jane's side, at least if the way he glared at her was anything to go by.

"I understand that I have to be careful and I don't object to being watched, I just think we shouldn't overdo it."

Neither Jane, nor Cho said anything after that, but Lisbon had the nagging feeling that they simply decided to let her speak, but ignore everything she said.

"Just to make that clear, I have no intention of letting you go anywhere alone until all of this is finished," Jane stated that moment, confirming her suspicion.

"And I'll accept that," she answered, even though slightly reluctantly. "I just don't want you to blow this out of proportion."

"For all we know a sociopath wants you dead, Lisbon," Cho said drily, "Sounds pretty serious to me."

He looked from her to Jane, who nodded in agreement, and then continued. "Wylie will install a security system in your house tomorrow morning, including cameras that allow us to watch all the entrances."

"Cameras?" That was exactly what she'd meant when she talked about overdoing this. "Is that really necessary?"

Both men nodded, before she even could finish her sentence.

"After having spent the last days in prison I actually was looking forward to having some privacy again."

"The cameras will only cover the outside, you don't have to worry about that." Cho reassured her, which only made her feel slightly better about the idea.

"Unless of course you have a secret lover sneaking through your window at night and you don't want any of us to know about?" A wide grin flashed across Jane's face as he said that and not even her glare could diminish it.

"Very funny, Jane."

Cho didn't comment on Jane's remark, nor her response, but said instead. "A house about 30 yards down on the other side of the road is currently empty, we rented it and it will serve as a place to surveil your home. Selman thought it would be less conspicuous than doing it out of cars, and I think she's right."

"A house?"

"Yes. At least two people will be there at any time and Wylie will set up the alarm and video system in a way that it not only alerts you in here, but also whoever is currently in the guardhouse."

"I suggested that name," Jane threw in and for some reason he seemed proud about it.

"We are 7 people, me included, how is that supposed to work?" Lisbon asked exasperated, "Two people at a time, that means 3 teams to take turns. Are you planning to have a life besides watching me?"

"No," Jane said in all seriousness and she rolled her eyes at him.

"That's actually something I wanted to talk to you about," Cho said, "To both of you. I don't think we'll be able to protect you if it's just us."

Lisbon frowned, but Jane was quicker. "I thought we agreed that the plan can only work if we keep this between us, what alternative do we have?"

Cho hesitated for a moment, then said. "Carlson suggested to put a tail on Lisbon under the pretence to gather more information about the case against her. It would allow us to use local police officers to watch her."

Lisbon shook her head. "I don't think that's a good idea." Being watched by her people was something she might grudgingly give her consent to, but this?

Jane taped his index finger against his lips. "I disagree, I actually think that's a pretty good idea. I'm not sure though they'll take their work seriously enough. We should spread the rumours that Lisbon's life might be in danger because she could reveal other members of a police conspiracy to raise the stakes."

Cho nodded, but Lisbon lifted her hands. "Stop there," she said firmly. "The whole idea of this plan was to make me seem vulnerable to Volker. He's not going to attack me when I'm supposedly under 24 hours police surveillance."

Cho nodded. "You have a point, Lisbon. The alternative, though, is risking your life and I think we all agree that's a price we're not willing to pay."

Lisbon wasn't so sure about that, but Jane didn't let her answer.

"We can still try to keep this low-key, again under the pretence that we don't know whether you still have associates within the force. It will be necessary to inform some people, but there might be a chance to keep this hidden from Volker. I'd say we risk it."

Cho nodded. "I'll call Selman and Carlson first thing in the morning. We might be able to have two officers positioned in the guardhouse as early as tomorrow afternoon."

"Do I have any say in this?" Lisbon asked annoyed. "I didn't spend four days in prison to now risk everything just because you're afraid I might be in danger?"

She heavily doubted that Volker would attack her in her house anyhow. They would need to fabricate situations that made her seem like an easy target outside of the safety of her own walls and they wouldn't need additional people for that. She told the two as much.

"Setting up traps for Volker is a great idea and we definitely will do that," Jane commented on her thoughts, "It still doesn't change the fact that we have to keep you safe at any time. We don't know when or how he'll target you."

Lisbon took a deep breath to calm herself. She knew that she probably would do the same if their positions were reversed. It seemed she had no other choice than to accept their security measures, even if she didn't agree with all of it.

"Okay," she consented with a sigh. "Do what you think necessary."

She took a sip of her wine and her thoughts wandered back to the news report. Volker had on purpose broadcasted it in Chicago, which meant that he knew her family was living there. She suddenly felt slightly nauseous and put her glass down.

"Do you think it would be possible to use the same pretence to have someone keep an eye on my brothers?"

"Sure. You think they might be in danger?" Cho asked her.

She just shrugged. "I don't know. But, I think I would feel better if I know they're safe."

She could feel Jane's eyes on her.

"I don't think he'll do anything to them", he said softly, "It's not his style. Volker never targeted anyone that wasn't a direct threat to him. He'll go after you and nobody else."

"He also didn't ruin anybody's career in the past," Lisbon replied, "It's different this time. He wants revenge and not to eliminate a threat. We don't know what he'll do."

She was aware that Jane was no longer only referring to her brothers, but also him; it didn't change anything. He wouldn't talk her her out of it; not this time. If she had to endure all this safety measures, so would he. She wouldn't risk losing him just because he thought it unlikely that Volker would go after him, or her family.

"I'll talk to IA," Cho said, "and make sure that they'll contact local police in Chicago. We'll keep them safe."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Cho."

Jane leaned back in his chair. "That only leaves the question how to keep you safe until the guardhouse is set up."

"I'm sure I'll manage one night on my own," Lisbon said drily, "In case you've forgotten. I have a gun-"

"Which won't be of much help if they surprise you in your sleep," Jane countered. "I think it might be safer if I stay."

Lisbon raised her eyebrows. She had no objections against him staying, not at all. This had nothing to do with her safety however, but everything with his and the fact that she wanted him at her side for very different reasons.

"And how is your presence going to protect me?" She smirked at him. "Are you planning to hypnotise a potential intruder?

"That wasn't a no, was it?" Jane conveniently chose to ignore her question.

"No, it wasn't."

Cho'd watched their discussion with raised eyebrows and Lisbon felt a slight blush creep into her cheeks. This had to end; now.

"You can stay, Jane. The couch is all yours." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Are we done now? Or do you have some other suggestions, like sewing little GPS trackers into my clothes?"

Jane's face lit up. "I love that idea."

She glared at him, even if she knew that he was only teasing her.

"I think we're covered for now." Cho said, looking at his watch. "It's getting late. I think I should head home." He stood up and Lisbon mirrored him.

"Thank you again, Cho," she said sincerely, her throat suddenly feeling very dry. "For everything."

"No problem."

He hold her gaze for a moment longer and then turned away. "Good night."


	21. The three-piece suit

**A/N:** Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this story. I never imagined so many people would still follow it after now more than 20 chapters! I have to apologise again, it turned out this chapter might be even less eventful than the last one, but I promise you more will be happening on the case front very soon.

* * *

 **The three-piece suit**

Lisbon turned the the light switch in the bathroom off and stepped into the corridor. It was strange how much difference a simple shower could make. She felt a lot more like herself again, as if she not only had washed away the stench of cheap prison shampoo, but also part of her problems. Clad in one of her favourite jerseys and a simple pair of black sweatpants she tapped back into the living room, her bare feet hardly making any noise on the wooden floor. Her eyes immediately found Jane as she entered the room; he was sitting on the couch, his eyes closed, but even at a distance she could tell that he wasn't asleep. He hadn't turned the TV on, but was just sitting there, seemingly deep in thoughts. Lisbon looked at the table, where nothing indicated that they'd eaten just a short while ago. She felt bad for a moment, because he'd cleaned up everything after already having taken care of the cooking. But then… he'd insisted on doing it and it had seemed silly to argue about it with him. It was slightly unsettling to be exposed to this new side of him. Jane had always looked out for her, at least in a way, but never as openly as he did now. It almost felt as if he would do anything to make her feel better. She enjoyed it, no question, but this wasn't supposed to be only about her. She wanted to make him feel better too, she wanted him to be happy.

He looked up as she walked over, a smile flashing across his face.

"That was fast."

She sat down beside him and shrugged.

He turned slightly towards her and it just felt natural to curl into him, her back against his chest. She heard him sigh in contentment as he buried his face in her hair and her heart swelled. Maybe it wasn't as difficult to make him happy as she'd thought.

"Admit it," he murmured into her hair, "you just couldn't stand being away from me for too long?"

She laughed, trying to silence the quiet voice in her head that actually agreed with his statement.

"Keep telling yourself that."

He used one arm to pull her closer, his hand resting on her waist. "I will." He inhaled deeply, before he said, "You smell amazing."

She could feel herself blush and her first instinct was to dismiss his words. "That's not me. You have to thank my new body wash for that."

He chuckled. "Tell me, are you going to refute every compliment I'll try to pay you? Because if you do, I have to warn you. You won't succeed in stoping me; I'll just try even harder next time."

She smiled at his silliness, while a tiny part of her rejoiced at his words. She closed her eyes, laying one of her hands on his.

"No answer, I see."

Lisbon was even more determined now than before to not reply to this. Instead she chose to change the topic.

"I didn't mention it before, but I thought you might wanna know. Two of my brothers and Minelli all suspected that you had something to do with the charges hold against me."

She wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to mention this, but then… somehow she couldn't forget it, maybe because she felt an urge to defend him. She'd done it over the phone, but she also wanted him to know.

To her astonishment, Jane chuckled.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised. I guess I deserve that."

"Hey!" she turned around, so that she could look at him. "Don't say that. You surely don't deserve it; you had nothing to do with it."

Jane shrugged. "No, but only because the evidence was made up. Come on, we both know, if they ever would find something in your file, it would be because of something I did, or because you covered for me."

While there might be a certain truth to his words, Lisbon couldn't let this stand like this.

"It always was my decision in the end. You didn't force me to accept your…" she searched for the right word, "..to accept your unusual methods, or to lie for you. I helped you because you were my friend and I would do it again."

She settled back against him, satisfied with her reply. Jane said nothing for a moment and she already thought that he would leave it like that, when he suddenly said. "Thank you." He paused for a moment, and then continued softly, "I know I was a horrible friend back then, but I'll do my best to make it up to you."

"Don't say that, Jane!" She considered to turn around again, but he chose that moment to tighten his grip around her and bury his face in her hair.

"You were a great friend, the best I've ever had. It might have been difficult sometimes-"

"Rather most of the time."

She ignored his interjection. "-but you helped me enjoy my job so much more and I learned that much from you."

He spoke very softly. "But I hurt you."

She flinched at his words; she knew it would be pointless to lie. God, why did she have to start this discussion? In her defence, she couldn't have known that merely mentioning her brothers accusations would lead to Jane questioning their whole past.

"Yes, but there was so much more to it than just that."

She remembered his words in the attic a few days ago. "I thought you're not going to remember only the bad parts?"

He sighed, but she could hear the smile in his voice.

"I should have been more careful about what I told you there, eh? Now you're going to hold this against me all the time."

He pressed a kiss to her hair.

"It seems like a good advice to me," Lisbon countered.

"Yeah it is."

They both remained silent after that, and while this discussion was far from over, Lisbon felt that it was the wrong moment to continue it. They would talk about this, at some point; maybe in a few weeks, maybe in a year, but some day she would make him understand that she wouldn't for anything in the world give away the years she'd spent with him. She swallowed; not even if he would never have returned from his island and those years would have been all she ever had with him.

It was very quiet in her flat, but what a difference to the quietness of her isolated cell. She opened her eyes as a thought struck her. It was indeed awfully quiet considering what had happened. She'd been convinced that she would receive a few more calls during the evening.

"Jane," she began, frowning slightly, "where's my phone?"

He yawned, tightening his grip around her. "On the table, where you left it, why?" He sounded innocent, but she knew him too long to be fooled by that.

"Did you turn it off?"

A short pause.

"It depends."

She tried to sit up but his arm hold her back.

"How can this depend on something? Did you turn it off, or not."

She rather felt him sigh, than actually hearing it.

"Will you be angry if I say yes, because then I might choose to ignore your question for now."

She shook her head in resignation and settled back against him.

"No, I won't be angry," she promised.

"In that case, yeah," he immediately replied, as if he was afraid she might change her mind if he waited too long.

"I turned it off. You deserve a few hours of rest. We both do."

Even if she would have been annoyed at him, which she hadn't, his lasts word would have softened her. This wasn't any longer only about her and while he hadn't been in jail, she knew that the last days couldn't have been easy for him.

"Yeah, you might be right."

"Really?" The surprised tone in his voice made her smile.

"Really," she said firmly. "I don't want any disturbance for the rest of the night, not while you're here."

It took her a few seconds until she realised what he might interpret into her words and the blood rushed into her face. They hadn't talked about moving their relationship to the next level. What if he wasn't ready for it? She'd only offered him the couch because Cho had been in the room, she never actually considered that he might prefer the couch over her bed until now. What if this was going too fast for him? What if she was pressuring him into something he wasn't ready for? He hadn't slept with a woman in over a decade - she purposely chose to ignore Lorelei in her reflections.

"Stop thinking so hard, Teresa," Jane whispered in her ear that moment, obviously sensing the sudden tension in her body. The idea that he might suspect what she was fretting about filled her with horror. Maybe it was best to leave things as they were for now. She wouldn't pressure him and she wouldn't talk about it. She was sure he would mention it if he felt ready; she just would wait until then; however long that would be.

She cleared her throat. "It's getting late, maybe we should try to get some sleep."

"Yeah, we could do that."

He didn't show the slightest inclination to get up, belying his own words. Instead, he gently moved her hair to the side, exposing her neck. A shiver run along Lisbon's spine as his fingers brushed against her skin.

"Or we could stay awake a little while longer."

She felt his breath on her skin, just moments before he kissed her neck. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart suddenly beat very fast and loud in her chest. Jane slowly pulled the collar of her T-shirt to the side, trailings his lips across her skin, setting it on fire wherever he touched it. Lisbon closed her eyes, pressing herself against him.

"What do you say?" he whispered against her neck.

She turned around and found his lips with hers. He moaned slightly, as her hands buried themselves deep into his curls, pulling him close.

"I guess that means no sleep," he said as they parted to catch some air, a smile playing on his lips. Lisbon laughed, but it turned into a gasp as he slipped his hands under her jersey, skimming over her bare waist.

"No," she managed to answer, blood rushing in her ears.

She kissed him again, and at same time started to unbutton his vest and shirt. He shuddered as she pressed her hand for the first time against his bare chest and she could feel his heart hammering under her palm. She bend forward and pressed a kiss to the newly exposed skin. She was rewarded with a slight gasp, every time her lips touched him; he was almost shaking by now. It was thrilling and terrifying at the same time, seeing him react like this, knowing that she did this. He was losing control, because of her. His heart was now beating almost alarmingly fast under her hand. Maybe too fast?

"We don't have to rush this," she told him, moving her free hand to his neck. She leaned her forehead against his, trying to calm her breathing, "We can wait, if you need more time, ...if this is too difficult."

"No," he opened his eyes, moving back ever so slightly to look at her, his pupils wide, "I want this. I want you." He swallowed. "I need you."

"Okay," she whispered, suddenly overwhelmed by the emotions showing on his face. This was truly happening. She was here, with him, with Jane. He kissed her again, very softly and tenderly. Warmth spread through her whole body, leaving a tingling sensation all the way to the tips of her toes and fingers. She couldn't remember having ever craved anything as much as his touch; the need and desire leaving her in a dizzy haze. His hands were moving slowly now, almost tantalisingly under her jersey.

"Let's move this to your bedroom", Jane said, his voice hoarse. Lisbon just nodded and stood up, holding her hand out for him.

* * *

Jane blinked a few times, his consciousness only slowly surfacing. Something was pressed against his side; something warm and soft. It took him a few more seconds, before he realised where he was and what had happened. He opened his eyes and a huge smile lit up his face. Lisbon was curled into his side, her hand on his chest; resting above his heart. He laid his hand on hers and just watched her for a moment. She was deep asleep, lips slightly parted, her chest raising and falling in a slow, regular rhythm. She looked peaceful; happy... he took a deep breath as he felt a lump forming in his throat. She was perfect. He closed his eyes against the tears that suddenly threatened to overwhelm him and pressed a kiss to her hair. She stirred slightly in her sleep, her fingers moving over his chest, but she didn't wake up. Which probably was for the better; she needed every minute of sleep she could get. He very carefully tugged a strain of her hair behind her ear, so that he could better look at her. She probably would hit him if she ever learned that he watched her sleeping, but he couldn't help himself. He was mesmerised by her and could hardly believe that she was truly lying beside him, that this wasn't a dream. But no, it was real, the most real thing that had happened to him in years. He closed his eyes, basking in the memories of their night together. He had filed away every small detail into his memory palace to be cherished as long as he lived; the feel of her flushed skin against his, her soft hair brushing his skin as she moved above him, every small sound of pleasure she'd made when he touched her.

Jane took another deep breath, this time in an attempt to calm his stirring body. He glanced at the clock on her bedside table and sighed. He'd slept longer than he wanted to and definitely longer than he had in a long time. He couldn't prevent another grin; for once he had a good idea why his body had craved the sleep.

Cho and Wylie would arrive very soon and as much as he would have loved to kiss Lisbon awake for a rerun of their nightly activities; there simply was no time. He decided to let her sleep a little while longer though, there was no need for both of them to get up already.

He very carefully disentangled himself from her and stood up, but not before pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. She made a disappointing sound as he moved away from her, but still didn't wake. He pulled the cover higher up to compensate for his missing body heat and spent another few moments just staring at her, before he finally managed to step aside.

About twenty minutes later he'd just started to cook breakfast as the doorbell rang. Wylie had arrived first and even earlier than they'd agreed on.

"Come in," Jane said, ushering the young agent through the door. Wylie didn't seem surprised to find him there. He we was carrying a heavy duffle bag and let it sink to the floor with a sigh.

"The security system, I suppose?" Jane asked, pointing at the bag.

Wylie nodded. "Yeah, it might take a while to get it all set. I thought I'd rather start immediately."

He looked around in the living room, his eyes stopping for a moment at the couch, where Jane had laid out a blanket to make their story more convincing. He personally wouldn't have minded their team members to know where exactly he'd spent the night…but he suspected that Lisbon might feel differently about it. They'd never talked about it, but he was almost convinced that she preferred this to stay between them; at least for now.

"Lisbon is still in her room," he explained Wylie, before the young agent could ask the obvious question.

"Why don't you start," he made a vague gesture towards the bag, "wiring up the house, while I see whether Lisbon is up."

Wylie nodded, obviously only listening half heartedly while he stared at his vest. Jane supressed a grin as he realised that his colleague never had seen him in one of his more formal suits; which explained the slight confusion on Wylie's face. He didn't, however, seem to dare asking him about it and Jane wouldn't do him the favour of broaching the subject.

Wylie shook himself visible out if his momentarily state of confusion and grabbed the bag.

"I'll start at the front door."

Jane just nodded. "Do that."

He slowly walked back to Lisbon's door and knocked softly. As he'd expected there was no response and after assuring himself that Wylie was busy at the entrance, he slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Lisbon was still in the same spot he'd left her. He sat down on her side of the bed, gently rubbing her shoulder.

"Lisbon," he said softly, "It's time to wake up."

She murmured something unintelligible and he grinned. She'd never been a morning person. He kissed her on the cheek.

"Come on sleepyhead."

She rolled on to her back and cracked an eye open, looking at him. "What time is it?" she asked, her voice still hoarse from sleep.

"Time to get up," Jane said cheerfully, very much enjoying the situation. "Unless of course you want Wylie to find you like this?"

Lisbon sat up, suddenly wide a wake. "Wylie is here?" Her voice was quite a bit higher than usual. Jane didn't immediately respond, he was too distracted staring at her breasts. Lisbon blushed ferociously and pulled the sheet back up. Too late though, for Jane not to note that her endearing blush wasn't limited to her face.

He bit back the remark that it was a bit late to act all shy now after what they'd done just hours earlier. Teasing Lisbon in the early morning was a dangerous game and he didn't want to risk it before she had her first coffee.

"You're already dressed? Why didn't you wake me?"

He smiled at her, despite the tone of annoyance or even accusation in her voice. "Good morning to you too, Lisbon." He pecked her on the lips, thrilled to see her relax infinitesimally after it.

"I woke up just a short wile ago, and I didn't want to disturb your sleep, you didn't get nearly enough of it the last days."

She raised her eyebrows at him. "You didn't seem particularly worried about my lack of sleep when you kept me from it last night."

He grinned and kissed her again, before he got up. "No, I have to admit rather selfish reasons kept me from it. I showed some restraint this morning though, and oh I was tempted, believe me.." he let his eyes roam over her body, only hidden by the thin sheet, and corrected himself, "I still am."

She grinned and threw her cushion at him.

"Get out of here," she ordered, "before Wylie gets suspicious."

 _There_ , he thought. She'd just confirmed his earlier conjectures.

"Afraid you might be unable to keep your hands of me if I stay a minute longer?" he asked her teasingly. The smile on his face fading as her eyes turned dark at his words. He really needed to get out of here.

"Who is losing control now?" Lisbon asked after him, as he walked to the door. He turned around, a wide grin on his face. "To be honest, I don't trust either of us very far at the moment." With her laughter in his ears he opened the door and left the room.

* * *

Lisbon felt slightly nervous as she stepped into the living room, even if she couldn't explain herself why. Well, okay, she might have a suspicion, it was ridiculous though. There was no way Wylie, or Cho would be able to see that she'd slept with Jane.

She'd taken a quick shower, but it had been enough for Cho to arrive and they were now all sitting at her table, with Jane in his apparent new role as host, serving them breakfast. She had to admit, she could get used to that picture. Not her colleagues sitting at the table, but Jane acting very much at home at her place. But then, he was Jane. He even made himself at home in a suspects house, which had its benefits for once. No one would suspect anything out of the ordinary because of his behaviour.

"Lisbon!" he called as he saw her and pulled out a chair, gesturing for her to take a seat. She rolled her eyes at him, but complied with his request.

"Morning," she said.

Cho reciprocated her greeting, whilst Wylie murmured something unintelligible, his mouth too full to be understood.

Jane handed her a mug with coffee before he sat down beside her.

"Help yourself," he said, pointing at the richly loaded table in front of her. Scrambled eggs, pancakes, toast…he'd outdone himself. She frowned, she was pretty sure she hadn't had all the ingredients in her house needed for this breakfast; he must had bought them before he went to fetch her at the jail the day before. He seemed to have put a lot of thought and effort into her return from jail.

He was still looking at her and she took a slice of toast, before he could complain that she wasn't eating. She noted the line between his eyes and knew that he was disappointed she'd chosen only the toast. It took her quite a bit of effort to suppress a smile.

"So," she said after having taken a sip of her coffee. "How's the cctv going?"

Wylie swallowed. "I'm about half done. The windows in your bedroom are still missing and then I have to set up the screens, both here and in the guardhouse, but this shouldn't take long. Another hour maybe, tops."

Lisbon wasn't sure whether she should feel relieve about it, or regret her lost privacy.

"I talked to Carlson before I came here," Cho said that moment, "Everything is set in motion. The first pair of officers will be in the guardhouse by noon."

Lisbon nodded, turning her mug in her hands. "What about..?"

"It's covered. Chicago PD placed someone close to their houses."

Relief washed over Lisbon. "Thank you, Cho."

She finally decided that she'd teased Jane long enough and helped herself to a pancake.

"I hope the officers don't show up in their uniforms, but then on second thought, it probably wouldn't make a difference anyhow," Jane said, making it very clear what he thought about police officers abilities to go undercover.

Lisbon shook her head at him. "Do I have to remind you that I was the only one arguing against this idea? Don't look at me when you're criticising it."

Cho shrugged. "It's too late now anyhow. Local police is informed, Carlson made sure however, to only involve a handful of people. I still think there's a chance Volker won't get wind of it."

"We'll see," Lisbon said sceptical.

She caught Wylie staring at Jane's vest and a moment later he asked. "Why are you wearing this?"

She almost chocked on her coffee.

Jane looked down at himself. "The three-piece suit?" He sounding surprised. She didn't believe him for a second.

"Yeah," Wylie nodded and seemed a tiny bit embarrassed. "I mean, it's so formal. It looks as if you're going to a wedding…or a funeral."

Lisbon couldn't stop herself from laughing this time, but she tried to disguise it as a cough; not very convincingly. It didn't help, that Jane looked a tad offended now.

"He used to wear this all the time," Cho explained, before Jane could answer himself. "You'll get used to it, Wylie."

Cho seemed to assume that the vest permanently returned and Jane didn't correct him, which pleased her more than she could say.

"Why now?" the stoic agent asked next, and Lisbon noted how Jane's eyes flicked to her for the fraction of a second.

"What brought it back?"

Lisbon concentrated very hard on her pancakes, feeling heat rise in her cheeks.

"I thought I have to look my part during the trial and while wearing it I remembered that I actually quite like it. Why?" Jane's voice was calm.

Cho shrugged. "No reason, just wondering."

Lisbon looked up in surprise, forgetting for a moment that she was trying to seem uninterested in the whole affair. Cho never asked something for no reason at all. His eyes were fixated on her and Lisbon immediately focused on her plate again. In horror she realised, that Cho might have correctly guessed it wasn't Jane who favoured the vests. That much about keeping this a secret.


	22. A sign

**A/N:** I'm so so so sorry that you had to wait such a long time for this update. I was pretty busy at work and had to write something else (for the Virtual Season 8); that's why I simply had no time to focus on this story. But that all is over now and I can devote all my attention (at least outside of work ;)) again to finishing this multi-chapter. I'm afraid this chapter isn't particularly well written; I first have to find my footing in this story again, but I thought you waited long enough and that's why I decided to leave the chapter as it is. You'll get more regular updates again from now on.

* * *

 **A sign**

"Why are we talking about this here, instead of at your place?" Jane asked her as they walked through the park.

Lisbon shrugged.

"I felt like going for a walk."

He just raised his eyebrows, not believing her for a second.

"Okay, "she admitted, "I might have another reason." She put her hands in her pockets and Jane started to suspect what this all was about.

"I just needed to get away for a while. With all the cameras," Lisbon explained, "I don't know..." A short pause. "I don't like being watched all the time."

"Well," he said, "the camera's are outside. Unless you're sitting on your doorstep, or windowsill, no one is seeing you."

He knew what she tried to say though. The idea of being constantly watched, especially by some police officers they didn't know, and to make it worse, that truly thought Lisbon was a criminal...it was an uncomfortable situation. For all of them.

"First I've been locked away in prison and now everyone expects me to hide in my flat..."

He could her the strain in her voice and sighed.

"I know, it's not easy, but..."

She glared at him, but he still continued.

"We didn't set up all this security measures so that you can avoid them now."

"I'm not avoiding them." She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "And I waited for you, didn't I? I just could have left the house on my own, but I didn't."

It wasn't much, but he probably should be glad about it.

"I can't hide all the time, Jane. That's not how this plan was supposed to work." She looked around, making sure that no one was close by.

"He won't come after me in my house, even less so if he knows about the police tail; which I'm sure he does."

"I know that and that's why we're planning to create situations that make you an easier target."

Lisbon started to walk again. "Planing... I can't hear that word anymore. It's three days since I've been released from prison. How much longer do we need to plan this?"

Jane didn't respond immediately, but carefully considered his next words. She was growing impatient and while he could understand it; the idea of setting up a trap with her as bait was terrifying. He knew it was the only way to end this, but not yet. They needed more time to organise this, to make it as safe as possible. Besides, it was still too early, she wasn't nearly isolated enough from an outsider's perspective.

"A trap wouldn't be effective right now, "Jane told her. "As long as you're still regularly in contact with both Cho and me, I think there's a small chance he'd risk an attack; not while you still can count on support from us."

Lisbon nodded. "Yeah, about that… I think it's time we get over with it. I talked shortly to Cho this morning and decided that we'll do it this afternoon. There's no point waiting any longer."

Jane opened his mouth to object, but she didn't let him speak.

"I don't want to drag this out for weeks, Jane. I want my life back. I want to go back to work, I want everyone to know what happened. I can't stand talking a third time to VanPelt, telling her that it will be fine. The same is true for my brothers. They're worried and want to see me, and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to hold them off. The last we need is my family in the city."

She had a determined expression on her face he knew only too well. There was no point in arguing about it once she made her decision.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I'll have them call me into the office; we make it look as if IA wanted to talk to me in one of the interrogation rooms." She paused for a moment and Jane instinctively stepped closer.

"I'll bump into Cho on my way out; in front of the elevators." She swallowed; and Jane felt horrible only imagining what she would need to do.

"Everyone on the floor will hear it; which means in a few hours the whole building will know. There's always a few local police officers, and at least one employee from the district attorney's office in the building; they'll spread the rumour even further. It's the easiest way to assure that Volker will learn about it."

She didn't look at him as she explained her plan, but stared straight ahead. Jane carefully brushed his arm against hers.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

She shook her head. "No." She looked up at him and to Jane's surprise, she took his hand in hers. She had never done anything like that, not out in public, where people could see them.

"I think it's better if you stay away from the office during that time. People would expect you to take a side…"

"To take your side," he added with a smile.

"Yeah…I guess." She tightened her grip around his hand. "What I mean is, it would put you in a difficult position. We don't need everyone to assume you had a fallout with Cho too."

"Just because I'm not there, doesn't mean I don't hear about it. I think everyone will expect that my behaviour towards Cho changes if he turns away from you." It would seem odd if he behaved as if nothing happened. It clearly wouldn't represent what he'd do should it ever come to such a scenario in reality, which luckily was very unlikely. Cho's fierce loyalty to Lisbon probably was only matched or exceeded by his own.

"True, but you just can avoid him to a certain degree after it happened. There's no need for an open argument."

He hated the idea that she had to go through this alone, but he grudgingly had to admit that she was right.

Lisbon tilted her head and looked at him. He already knew that he wouldn't like what she planned to say next.

"You are aware that if nothing happens, you'll have to abandon me as well eventually"

Now he was the one that avoided looking at her.

"If losing my job and breaking all ties to my former colleagues isn't enough to make me seem an easy target; the next step is pretending to break up this supposedly romantic relationship of ours, you made Volker believe in."

Jane grinned, despite the seriousness of their discussion.

"Supposedly romantic relationship?"

She blushed."You know what I mean, Jane."

"Do I? Are you maybe talking about the actual relationship, that everyone thinks is just a pretense because I made Volker believe we slept with each other long before it actually happened?"

"Oh stop it, will you," she said, still endearingly red. It was still a mystery to him, how she could react so flustered talking about it, while having no problems to living their not at all fake romantic relationship.

The situation would be a lot easier if they would just stop trying to keep the true nature of their feelings hidden from their colleagues and for a moment Jane considered saying just that. Especially because he suspected that at least Cho wasn't fooled by them anyhow. He sensed however, that Lisbon wasn't yet ready to take that step and with everything going on in her life, there was no need to address this now.

Jane in any case, had a pretty good idea why she was reluctant to be open about the change in their relationship. He alone was to blame, or rather the way he treated her the last 12 years.

"Well, " he finally said. "Let's hope this won't be necessary and Volker attacks even when I'm still part of your life."

"Assuming he'll attack at all", Lisbon murmured and Jane didn't know what to say to that. It was true, they had no idea what Volker's intentions were. It seemed the most probable scenario that he would try to go after Lisbon's life, but in the end, it was mere speculation; they simply didn't know what he would do. In short, the situation was an nightmare. Everything was highly unpredictable; it felt as if they were trying to trap a lightening. All they could do was lay out a wire, knowingly that it would attract the danger, that it would increase the risk they were exposed to; all while hoping that they wouldn't be burned when the lightening finally striked. Only they were not talking about a wire, but Lisbon life. One mistake, one little thing they didn't consider, one small detail overlooked and Lisbon would pay the ultimate price.

Lisbon let go of his hand that moment and Jane shuddered at the loss of contact, especially considering the darkness that just consumed his mind.

"Jane?" The expression in her eyes was a mixture between worry and confusion. Jane snapped himself out of his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, " he apologised, "I was distracted for a moment. Did you say something?"

She still seemed a tad worried.

"Yeah, I wondered whether you'd be okay if we spent the night in the airstream, instead of my flat."

"What - why?" Jane asked surprised.

Lisbon just shrugged. "As I told you, I need to get out of my flat. Just for one night."

She lifted a hand and stopped him before he could say a word.

"I'll ask Cho to place someone in the trailer park. Maybe he and Wylie feel like watching us for a few hours and we just can stay awake the rest of the night. I'll discuss all of it with Cho when I head to the office this afternoon."

Jane took a deep breath to keep himself from responding immediately. He knew that he was overreacting; the situation was not nearly as dangerous as his lizard brain wanted him to believe.

Lisbon looked at him intently, obviously waiting for an answer.

"Okay, " he finally managed to say. "But only because it's the airstream." He grinned at her, partly in an attempt to distract himself. "And because I never thought you'd ever willingly want to spend the night there."

She rolled her eyes at him, but didn't object. His phone started ringing that moment. It was Cho and this probably meant that they had a new case. He wasn't keen on going to work, but he had the bad feeling that Lisbon wouldn't give him any choice when it came to that matter. It seemed he'll had to postpone any further teasing about her sudden love for the airstream for later.

* * *

Jane stretched his legs, which was possible despite him sitting in a car. He would never understand what it was with cops, or rather agents, and their love for oversized SUV's. Cho had picked him up at Lisbon's place and they were now on the road to a crime scene.

"How's Lisbon holding up?" Cho asked, which seemed odd to Jane, knowing that the two had talked that very morning.

"She's doing fine, " Jane said, "given the situation. She's growing impatient, but that was to be expected."

He hesitated for a moment. "She told me about your plan for the afternoon."

Cho nodded, not taking his eyes of the road.

"It was her idea, not mine."

Jane sighed. "I figured that." A short pause. "Don't be too hard on her, will you?"

This time Cho turned around and looked at him. "It has to look real. Besides, we both know it's just for show."

"I know, "Jane sighed. He knew Lisbon would hate it if she ever learned that he talked to Cho about this.

"Listen, I don't like this idea any more than you do, " Cho said, "But first, it's her decision and secondly, it is a good plan."

Jane looked out of the window. He knew the other agent was right; or at least partly right. It was a good way to create the illusion that Lisbon was more and more isolated. Her reputation was already damaged anyhow. What change did a few of their coworkers make? When all of this was over, Lisbon would be redeemed; he was sure of that. Or at least he hoped it very much.

Whether it was such a good plan as a whole; Jane wasn't so sure about that. The longer they waited for something to happen, the more sceptical he became.

"Jane?" Cho looked at him.

"I guess it is a good plan", Jane finally said, still looking out of the window. "It's just…" He sighed… he probably should talk about this with Lisbon, but then… he didn't want to worry her needlessly, especially if there was nothing they could do about it.

"From all we know about Volker, do you really think he would send someone to kill Lisbon? I mean, I doubt he would do it himself, that's not his style, but I'm sure he would like to be there to watch."

Jane's heart beat sped up. It was painful only talking about how someone could plan to hurt Lisbon.

Cho kept silent for a moment and Jane knew that his colleague shared his doubts. Jane was also very sure that Lisbon must be haunted by similar thoughts; but they didn't talk about it. They hardly ever talked about Volker; which Jane suspected was because Lisbon feared his reaction. She probably was afraid he wouldn't be able to handle it and not without reason. He did struggle with the imminent danger Lisbon found herself in and irrespective of the protective measures they took, he could not shake off his fear. Every time he left her out of sight, like right now, a heavy uneasiness settled around his heart.

"He's in prison, there's no way he can be there himself. Maybe he opted for the next best option; meaning having her killed by someone else on his command." Cho spoke calmly, but didn't sound very convinced himself.

"Possibly," Jane said slowly.

They didn't speak after that. Jane stared at the houses that passed by, trying not to imagine all the things that could go wrong with their plan. The more he thought about it, the less their strategy seemed to even deserve being described as such. It wasn't a plan; not really. All they did was waiting, trying to be ready for something they were not sure whether, how or when it would happen. That was the insufferable part and Jane knew that it was also what Lisbon struggled with the most. For once they were not trying to find someone or looking for evidence; all they did was wait. In this game they were not the hunters; they were the prey.

* * *

Lisbon killed the engine of her car and leaned her head against the steering wheel. She felt exhausted. Fighting with Cho, even if only for show, had been harder than she anticipated. it had helped that they talked to each other on the phone afterwards, but she still could feel the after effects. Lisbon couldn't really tell what had affected her so strongly. It was not the way everyone had looked at her, nor the things Cho had said…it was rather the fact alone that she had to go through all of this in the first place. It felt as if for weeks now, her life did no longer belong to her. Every step she took served a purpose in their plan, or was a consequence of her friends attempts to keep her safe. She felt trapped in every sense of the word.

With a sigh she leaned back and looked at the airstream. Immediately Jane came to her mind. He was the only good thing that had happened during all of this. Honestly, she didn't know how she would cope without him. She'd even told as much to Grace, in one of their many phone calls in the last days. She hadn't admitted that the nature of her relationship with Jane had changed, but she acknowledged how much she relied on him.

Jane. It was almost scary how well their new relationship worked; how well they fit together as a couple. The last days they'd spent in an almost dreamy haze. He'd been with her almost every minute of the day and night. After having been alone for so many years, and that was true for both of them, it was surprisingly how much she enjoyed, even longed for his constant presence in her life. Lisbon had always had a strong need for independence but being close to him didn't feel as if she was giving up anything; on the contrary.

Lisbon got out of the car in one swift movement. Instead of musing about him, she should rather join Jane inside the airstream. Even more so because she knew how worried he was every time they parted. She swallowed. That was the one thing that loomed over their apparent happiness. They had hardly ever talked about Volker, or her current situation. In fact they had avoided any topics that carried the potential for conflict.

Lisbon had even gone so far as to hide things from him to avoid having to discuss it openly. She knew that it was wrong; she was hurting them both by lying and she hated herself for doing it, but she had been too scared to face the truth. Her life was a chaos at the moment and she had needed this island of harmony, this bubble of calm where she could pretend that everything was alright.

Lisbon took a deep breath before she knocked at the door. She had the sinking feeling, that they would not be able to avoid some of the issues for much longer. She knew that Jane must have seen through her little scheme by now and she owned him an answer. And more so, she wanted to give him an answer. Her selfish need, her fear of what might happen, had in a sense prevented them from growing even closer. While part of her was still afraid what the truth would mean for them, she on the other hand also couldn't wait for this last wall between them to fall down.

"Hey," Jane stepped aside so she could enter. Warmth spread through her as she saw him.

"Hey." She didn't use the extra space he made for her, but brushed against him. He kissed her as the door fell shut behind them.

Lisbon didn't move immediately as they parted, but leaned her head against his shoulder. She felt his hands on her waist, holding her close.

"That bad?" he asked, as Lisbon snuggled closer into him.

"That obvious?" she countered, sighing in content as his hands drew slow circles on her back.

"You seem more clingy than usual."

She frowned at him. "Is that a complaint?"

"Hell no." He pressed a kiss to her hair. "Just an observation."

Lisbon finally stepped back and walked over to the couch. "Good." She smiled a him and patted the empty spot besides her, inviting him to join her. Jane took a seat beside her, his eyes searching her face.

"I'm fine, " she said, before he could open his mouth. She took one of his hands in her.

She saw that he didn't believe her, but he let the question go for now. Lisbon noted that he seemed more tense than usual, and her stomach lurched. He knew what she had done.

"How are you?"

He shrugged, brushing the question away. "Same as usual." And after a short pause he added.

"Where you ever going to tell me that you spending the night here is an attempt at provoking an attack?"

She flinched as his words. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Jane shook his head and let go of her hand.

"Don't." He spoke softly, but she could hear the hint of frustration in his voice. "Don't lie to me."

"i'm sorry." She folded her hands on her lap. "I should have told you immediately."

"And I should have been suspicious right away. The airstream? Of all places you chose the airstream. We both know you hate it, I should have seen that there was a reason for it." He stood up, seemingly unable to sit still any longer.

"I get it now - it's isolated and the trees allow someone to approach unnoticed. The perfect spot for an ambush."

He crossed his hands in front of his chest. "Let me guess, Cho and Wylie are not really going to spend the night in the trailer park?"

Lisbon shook her head. "It would have been too obvious. Wylie set up a camera in one of the trees, allowing them to observe the area around the airstream. If something as much as moves close by, they'll be here in a few minutes."

Lisbon looked at him, but Jane had his eyes fixed on the window beside her.

"I don't think an attack would happen during the night, anyhow. More likely in the morning when…" she stopped, realising that he didn't know that part of her plan yet.

"You wanted to send me away under some pretence, so that you're alone in here?" Jane observed, still avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah," Lisbon said and she suddenly felt horribly for having this kept from him.

"I was going to tell you, "she said in a weak attempt to mend the damage. Jane didn't have a chance to answer because that moment a slight humming noise made both of them turn around.

"What's that?" Lisbon asked, her hand on her holster. Jane just shook his head as he stepped closer to her.

Slowly Lisbon walked to the door, she felt Jane immediately behind her, his hand on her back.

"Be careful," he whispered as she opened the metal door. Lisbon's breath caught in her throat as she saw the small boy outside, playing with a shiny red toy car.

She'd seen that car before.


	23. Being scared

**Being scared**

Jane put is hand on Lisbon's back as he walked past her.

"Hey Toby, " he said, smiling at the young boy, before he scanned the surroundings. He couldn't see anyone else. Out of the corners of his eyes, he noticed Lisbon slowly taking her hand of her weapon; she'd come to the same conclusion as him.

"Patrick!" The boy beamed at him, stepping closer. He stopped in his track, only now seeing Lisbon.

"Hi," she greeted him. She was smiling, but Jane could hear the tremor in her voice and her eyes kept flicking to the car.

"I think you haven't met my friend Teresa, yet" Jane said and then turning to Lisbon. "Toby is my half-time neighbour. His parents spend most of their weekends here in the trailer park."

The young boy nodded eagerly, still gripping the steering module in his hands.

"That's a nice car you have there, " Lisbon carefully said.

"Toby?" The voice of a man startled all of them and Lisbon's hand moved towards her hip, but Jane put his hand on hers to stop her.

A man is his mid thirties walked towards them on the small footpath.

"There you are, " he said as he saw them. "You're mom was calling you, Toby. Dinner is ready. Didn't we tell you to stay close to the trailer?"

Jane could feel Lisbon relax slightly beside him.

"Bob, " Jane said, shaking the mans hand as he reached them.

"I hope he wasn't too loud, " Bob said cheerfully, clearly not really bothered that his son wandered off and potentially annoyed neighbours.

Jane shook his head. "Not at all, we were just admiring his new fancy toy."

Bob looked at the car. "Yeah, pretty shiny." He offered his hand to Lisbon and Jane introduced them to each other.

"Was that a birthday present?" Lisbon asked the boy, pointing at the red car.

"No," Toby said, shaking his head vehemently. "My birthday is in June."

Jane hide a grin at the tone of indignation in the boy's voice.

Bob laughed and ruffled trough Toby's dark hair.

"It's crazy," he explained, "he got it last week at school. Everyone did. A donation by the toy manufacturer. I guess it's some kind of marketing gag." He shrugged. "Not that I care. It's a nice toy and Toby loves it, don't you."

He looked at his watch. "We really have to go back now, or your mom will be angry with us...or rather me. Have a nice evening." He grinned apologetically at Jane and Lisbon, before he picked the car of the ground and walked away with Toby at his side. The boy winked at them.

Jane stared into the trees, his thoughts racing. This wasn't a coincidence, he was sure of it.

"Well," Lisbon remarked, "at least, we know now for sure that Volker read the files." She put her hands in her pockets and Jane frowned as he saw that she shivered slightly in the cold. They hadn't put their jackets on as they left the airstream.

"Otherwise he wouldn't know about the car, " he mused, gesturing for her to walk back to the airstream. She nodded but stayed rooted to the spot.

"Why now and why here, what is he trying to tell us?"

Jane shrugged. He could feel that she didn't really expect an answer from him, that it had rather been her thinking out loud, than an actual question. He answered nevertheless.

"He wants us to know that he isn't finished."

He saw that Lisbon shuddered at his words. "Maybe." She took a deep breath. "Do you know where Toby goes to school?"

Jane had a very good idea in what direction her thoughts wandered. He suppressed a sigh; she would interpret this as attack on him.

"Not, not precisely; it's somewhere close to here, that's the only thing I know." He threw another glance in the the trees around them, making sure that they were still alone.

"Let's get back inside, " he said, ushering her back into the warmth of the airstream.

"Why did you even put the car into the case file?" he asked as he closed the door behind them. Lisbon looked at him bewildered. "Why wouldn't I? It was the one thing that lead you to Marvin in the first place."

"Yeah, but it's such a small detail."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Seriously, did you ever read any of the reports after we closed a case? The details have to be in there, that's the point. Why else bother writing them at all?"

He shrugged. "Meh. Seems like a waste of time."

She sat down, massaging her forehead. "We should call Cho; he needs to know this."

"Shall I do it?"

She had already taken her burner phone out of her pocket, which in a sense answered his question He sat down at the small table as Lisbon put the phone on speaker and placed it between them.

"And you're sure it was him?" Cho inquired, after Lisbon told him everything.

"Would be too much of a coincidence otherwise," Jane said, studying Lisbon while he spoke. She was playing with her cross.

"There are hundreds of schools in Austin, how could he know that the boy would end up in your trailer park?"

Lisbon sighed. "I wouldn't be surprised if he sent the cars to more than one school."

A moment of silence followed her words.

"I can have Wylie look into it." Cho suggested.

"No, " Lisbon immediately interjected. "It's too suspicious. Don't you remember, you and Wylie don't give a damn about me any longer."

"Oh, right."

Cho didn't sound happy, which Jane could understand only too well.

"I'll do it myself," Lisbon said instead. "First thing tomorrow morning."

"Good." A short pause. "Are you heading back to your flat now, Lisbon?"

"Yes," she said at the exact moment Jane answered with no. Lisbon looked at him in surprise.

"We're staying here," Jane said more firmly to the phone on the table. "The toy car doesn't change anything. On the contrary, considering that us staying out here was a plan to provoke an attack in the first place, it makes even more sense to stay now, than it did before."

He could see how Lisbon tensed at his words.

"Are you close?" he asked Cho, ignoring her for the moment.

"No, but Carlson and Selman are. They took the first shift. Wylie and I will take over at 2am; this way all of us get a few hours of sleep. I'll call them and tell them to be especially alert this night."

"Thanks Cho," Lisbon said softly.

She left the phone on the table after they disconnected the call; it was obvious that she avoided looking at him. He knew that he had surprised her with his proposition to stay in the airstream.

"Do you want a cup of tea?"

And again, she hadn't expected that offer, if her reaction was anything to go by.

"S..sure."

He could feel her eyes on him, as he prepared two cups and waited for the water to boil. No one said a word and Jane was determined not to be the one that started the discussion. It was her turn. She'd lied to him or rather she had tried to hide the truth from him, which in a sense was the same. He was very well aware that he'd done the same thing hundreds of times. She had hated his lies and tricks; keeping things from her had been the one thing that had strained their relationship ever since he knew her. The more it surprised and hurt him that she chose to do the same, now that they were together. He'd been nothing but honest and open with her in the last weeks and especially ever since he told her how he felt. They had never spoken about it, but he'd expected the same from her.

"I'm sorry, Jane." She spoke softly and he closed his eyes for a moment. He could hear the pain in her voice; hurting him had been the last she'd wanted to do.

He turned around an looked at her. "Why did you keep if from me?"

He knew why, they both knew, but he needed her to say it.

"I didn't want to worry you." She looked at her hands. "You wouldn't have agreed if I told you the truth."

He shook his head. "I wouldn't have liked the idea, but I would have given in in the end."

"Okay." She didn't believe him. The whistle of the kettle stopped him from answering immediately. He carefully poured the hot water into two cups.

She looked at him as he handed her the tea a moment later, an almost pleading expression in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, okay?" she repeated. "I shouldn't have done it, I get it." She wanted to change the topic, it was obvious that something else was on her mind right now. There was no point going on if she couldn't concentrate on what he said anyhow. He of course knew very well what she was thinking about, or rather worried about. He sighed as he sat down.

"The toy car wasn't a threat to me, Lisbon." He spoke calmly, hoping that some of it would cross over to her. "He's just letting us know, that he's observing us at any moment."

She didn't reply, but instead took a sip of her tea.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the kids in your street got the cars as well, you'll see."

He could sense that she wasn't convinced but he couldn't think of anything else he could say, or do, to reassure her further. It was a threat, no talking would change the fact. He still was convinced that it wasn't any more directed at him than her; but it was worrisome; no denying that.

It seemed to be the evening of uncomfortable discussions, but he had to mention this at some point.

"How do you think this is going to end?" Jane asked her. Lisbon looked up, surprised and slightly confused.

"What do you mean?"

Jane shrugged. "How does it end?"

She still didn't get his question. "Well hopefully with us catching Volker. We just have to prove that he's connected to this."

"And then? He's going to prison…" Jane stopped. "Oh wait - he already is. Doesn't stop him from pursuing you, does it?"

Lisbon frowned at him, it seemed she'd finally picked up on where he was going with this.

"What are you implying?"

"You know what, Lisbon. He manages to act out of prison now, why should this change if we add another felony to his list? Maybe he'll get a few more years added to his already life-long sentence, or he'll be transferred to a higher security facility, but in the long term it doesn't change a thing. A few weeks or months and he'll start building a small network of helpers again. I'm sure he's buying the loyalty of his associates and with enough money he'll do it again. And why shouldn't he, he has nothing to lose."

Lisbon stood up. "Then we'll have to find his hidden cash stash." As if it would be that easy. If Volker had managed to keep his resources hidden until now, it would remain that way. But Lisbon knew that as well as he did. She was agitated now.

"What's your alternative plan?" The tone of provocation in her voice was unmistakably.

"I don't know." It was the truth; at least as long as prison walls were between him and Volker. He had a pretty good idea what he'd do otherwise and again he was sure Lisbon knew in what direction this thoughts wandered.

"No," she shook her head. "Even if it would be possible, that's out of the question."

She was angry now as he'd expected, or rather feared.

"I don't even want you to think about this!"

Jane didn't waver under her stare. "I can't control my thoughts, Lisbon. I can keep them to myself, but I don't think that's what you want."

She sat down beside him, it was more desperation and not anger radiating of her now. For a short moment horror filled Jane. Maybe had he went too far, maybe hearing what he'd be willing to do for her was more than she could bear. He thought she'd reconciled with what he did to Red John, but maybe she'd merely been trying to forget that part of him, trying to pretend that this person wasn't him. But he was. He didn't regret what he did and if he had to kill Volker to protect Lisbon, he wouldn't hesitate, not for a second.

He looked at his hand in surprise as he felt Lisbon's slip into his.

"No", she said as he met her eyes. "I don't want you to hide this side of yours, or any side. I know and accepted you, Jane; all of you." She tightened her grip around his hand and warmth seemed to spread from where their finger touched throughout his whole body. She kissed him softly, then added. "I won't step aside this time, though. This time it's about me, it's my decision. I ask you to respect that."

Jane grudgingly nodded. "What if it's self defence?"

"He's in prison, Jane. I don't think he'll attack me on a visit, not even mentioning that I have no intentions to ever see him again."

"People broke out of prisons before." Jane insisted, not letting go of her hand. Lisbon shook her head at him, but she seemed to sense how important this was for him, because she finally looked at him again.

"I'd happily pull the trigger myself in such a situation."

He had expected that answer, but it still filled him with relief. Now all he had to do was to come up with a situation that allowed them to act in self-defence. Without placing Lisbon in any kind of danger, of course.

He saw an amused twinkle in her eyes. She saw through him too easily these days, but in contrast to him she seemed to think it highly unlikely that Volker would be out of prison at any point in the future. Otherwise she'd probably warn him to stay out of danger himself. For a moment they sat in silence, their hands still linked.

"I'm kind of hungry," Jane said suddenly into the quiet and Lisbon chuckled. He stood up in a swift movement. "I'll see what I have here, but I'm sure I'll manage to cook us something."

"I can help."

He studied her intently, taping his forefinger against his lips.

"No", he said after a moment of apparent serious consideration, "I don't think I can risk that with only limited amount of food in store..."

"Hey!" She tried to hit him but he stepped aside, grinning.

"Fine, I might let you cut the onions. Not much can go wrong there."

* * *

Lisbon placed her gun on the floor besides the bed, carefully arranging it in a way that would allow her to reach for it.

"Scoot over", she said to Jane and he murmured something intelligibly, but complied.

Lisbon slid under the covers, her back to Jane, so that she could watch the room. She felt his arms around her as soon as she laid down.

"You're on my side of the bed", he protested sleepily. She grinned and put her hand on his arm.

"I'm sure you'll get used to it. In here, that's my side. It's very simple, the person with the gun sleeps towards to the door."

He pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck. "Fine, " he murmured. Lisbon closed her eyes, basking in the warmth of Jane's body behind her. For once she didn't complain about the space constraints in the airstream.

"Lisbon?" Jane asked suddenly and he didn't sound nearly as sleepy as moments before.

"Yeah?" She asked cautiously.

"Do you remember when you called me from prison?"

"Of course I remember, it has only been a week. What about it?"

Jane spoke very calmly, and his hand caressed over her bare arm in a soothing way. It worried her.

"You told me that I could ask you anything, anything I wanted. Does that offer still stand?"

A slight shiver run through Lisbon and her heart began to beat faster.

"Sure" she said slowly; her voice sounding surprisingly calm, in contrast to how she felt. She was glad that he couldn't see her face.

"Are you afraid I might run away again one day?"

Lisbon's breath caught in her throat. It felt as if something was pressing on her chest, making it difficult to breathe, let alone speak.

"Maybe a little," she finally whispered. It took her all the effort to say those few words. Her heart contracted painfully. A surge of emotions swept over her, leaving her almost dizzy. She was afraid to lose him, angry at her self for letting it show, ashamed that she doubted his intentions, worried that she might hurt him, that she didn't deserve his love.

"Is that why you didn't tell me, why we never really talk about it, about any of it? Because you're afraid I won't be able to cope with it." It wasn't even a question.

Lisbon just managed to nod, not even sure whether he could see it. Tears pricked at her eyes. His grip around her tightened and she could hear the raw emotion in his voice.

"I won't leave you, Teresa." He pressed a kiss to her neck and she closed her eyes, breathing heavily. "Not this time, not ever again."

She wanted to believe him, by god, she wanted to believe him so desperately.

"I love you, Teresa."

A single tear run across her cheek and she brushed it away. He was trying so hard, he was doing everything for her and she thanked him by being afraid he might leave her. God, she was a horrible person, why couldn't she just tell him how much he meant to her, like a normal person.

"I'm sorry", her words were hardly understandable, she spoke so quietly.

"Don't say that," Jane said, "Teresa."

Lisbon took a shaky breath and then turned around in his arms, so that she could look at him. He searched her face and she could only read understanding and love in his eyes. She hoped that he saw the same when he looked at her, that he was able to see what she felt, even if she wasn't able to translate it into words.

"I'm afraid too," he whispered. He didn't need to say what he feared or why. "We all are, there's no need to apologise for it, ever."

He dropped a soft kiss to her lips. She took his face in her hands, kissing him back with all she could give. She might be unable to tell him that she loved him, but she would show it to him.


	24. Arrogance

**A/N:** I'm very sorry it took me so long to update, and that I didn't reply to all your reviews in person. I'll promise to do better next time, on both accounts.

* * *

 **Arrogance**

Lisbon looked out over the small lake visible between the trees. It was still early and a few wafts of mist lingered over the dark blue surface. She had to admit as much to Jane, he had chosen a beautiful spot to park his airstream. One could almost forget that this was located in a trailer park only minutes from the busy and noisy city.

Lisbon closed her eyes for a moment. The only thing that was missing to make it a perfect morning, was a cup of coffee. She hadn't dared making one, not wanting to wake Jane. He still had troubles sleeping so often, that she hadn't dared disturbing his rest.

Her eyes lit up at the memory of how she'd left him in the airstream. Tousled hair and and a content expression on his face; unguarded, relaxed - happy. She'd gotten so used to the lines of worry in his face, that she'd almost forgotten how he looked without them. On second thought, she wasn't sure she'd ever seen him without them before. At least not before he returned from South America, maybe with the exception of a very few moments, during which he managed to forget the tragedy in his past and his constant hunt for Red John.

She'd longed to help him back then, to see the worry and sadness leave his eyes, as much as she did now. In contrast to then though, this time she was the main reason for the tension she could sense in him as soon as he was awake, even if he tried to hide it from her. Her being in danger was what haunted him; and her. She was sure he wasn't the only one marked by the last weeks. The same probably could be said about her. Lisbon sighed; she couldn't wait for all of this to be over. Now that they finally found each other, she wanted to be able to enjoy their new life, without this constant danger looming over them, overshadowing their newfound happiness.

Only this wasn't happening if she just sat there and hoped for a miracle. Full of determination Lisbon took her phone out of her pocket and dialled VanPelt's number.

"Hey Grace, I'm sorry to call you at such an early time."

VanPelt laughed. "Don't worry, I'm up since half an hour. The kids have a different idea of what counts as early."

Lisbon smiled, but at the same time her stomach twisted into a knot. She wished she could keep Grace and Wayne out of this. They had their new life, their children; they were happy. The last thing she wanted was to put them in danger. At the moment, however, she saw no other option.

"I'm sorry I have to ask Grace, but could you do me a favour?"

"Of course", Grace said eagerly. Lisbon knew that she'd wanted to help ever since she learned about her arrest on the news. Even more so, because in contrast to her, Grace and Wayne didn't know the whole truth. In their eyes it was still a possibility that she would end up in jail.

"What is it?"

"There's something I'd like you to have a look at," Lisbon began, but then the door of the airstream behind her opened, distracting her momentarily.

"There you are, " Jane stated the obvious as he looked at her. He wasn't fully dressed yet and Lisbon's eyes were drawn to his bare chest, before she got a grip on herself and met his eyes.

"Was that Jane?" Grace asked, reminding her that she was still on the phone.

"Yeah...", she answered hastily, "can you hold for a minute, Grace?"

"Sure."

Lisbon could have sworn that she heard a smile in her former colleagues voice. She put her hand on the phone in a feeble attempt to gain some privacy.

"It's Grace," she explained Jane, showing him the phone.

He nodded, shivering slightly in the cold.

"I woke up and you were gone," he said, his voice carrying a slight tone of disapproval.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep any longer and didn't want to wake you." Lisbon bit her lip; she hoped he hadn't been too worried when he woke up to an empty airstream. She grimaced; well if the fact that he stepped outside with nothing on but a pair of pyjama trousers was anything to go by, he'd been rather freaked out.

"Listen", she said in an apologetical tone, "I just need a few more minutes. Why don't you go back inside, I'll join you in a moment."

He tilted his head to the side, as if he was contemplating her suggestion. Lisbon rolled her eyes at him; already feeling a lot less sorry because she scared him for a moment. She just didn't have any patience in the morning, not even, or rather especially not, for Jane's shenanigans.

"Go", she said more firmly, "I don't want to be responsible for you catching a cold."

He grinned at her, but complied and disappeared into the airstream.

"I'm back, sorry for the interruption," Lisbon said to Grace, trying to sound as innocent as possible. She wasn't sure how much of her talk with Jane had reached the other end of the line.

"Jane's with you?" Grace asked in a tone that spoke volumes. Lisbon blushed and was glad that this wasn't a video call. Even more so because that would have allowed Grace to catch a glimpse of a only half dressed Jane.

"Yeah...he doesn't want to leave me alone at night in case Volker might try something," she said, "It's purely a safety measure."

It wasn't a lie...it was after all part of the reason why she'd spent the night, or rather all her nights, with Jane. Only it wasn't the only reason.

"Of course."

Lisbon could hear the grin in Grace's voice and she suspected her half-lie hadn't been very convincing.

"Say hello to him from me, will you?"

"Sure", Lisbon replied, hoping that Grace would let the topic go now.

"So what it is?" Grace asked and Lisbon almost gasped in relief at the change of subject. In as few words as possible, she told Grace about the toy car.

"I'll pass by the school today and see what I can find out," she explained to Grace, "but without a badge there's not much I can do."

Admitting that to Grace made her feel strangely vulnerable. She knew it was only temporary, she could have her badge back any time if she wanted to...even if at the cost of ruining their chance of setting a trap. Still, Lisbon hated being so powerless. The fact that Grace didn't know about their little trick to lure Volker out of hiding, made her suspension somehow feel more real and therefore tenfold worse.

"What do you want me to do?" The determination in Grace's voice was unmistakable and gratitude flooded through Lisbon. Long after they stopped working together, Grace's loyalty and trust towards her were still unbroken.

"I'll try to get a name from them, at least of the toy company delivering the cars to them. I'll send you the details as soon as I have them. I doubt they'll tell me who gave them the money, I suppose it'll be an "anonymous" donor, but we'll see." She paused for a moment. Was she really doing the right thing by bringing Grace along?

"You want me to find out where the money came from?" her former colleague asked that moment.

Lisbon nodded, relieved that Grace partly had taken the decision away from her. "Volker must have money somewhere, there's no other explanation how he can pull this off out of prison. We need to find his stash; it's the only way to stop him."

With the exception of one alternative solution, as Jane had pointed out the evening before. Lisbon swallowed, pushing those thoughts at the very back of her mind. She wouldn't go there, she couldn't, not if there was even the smallest chance to end this differently.

"Okay. I'll see what I can do, Lisbon, but it won't be easy. If he's using off-shore accounts, there's not much I can do. At least..." She paused and Lisbon had a bad feeling about what she would say next.

"There are other methods, of course..", Grace began, "but they're not entirely legal."

"No," Lisbon said immediately, falling back into the voice she'd used back at the CBI, when she was still in charge. "Don't do anything that could get you into trouble Grace."

Grace didn't reply.

"I'm serious, Grace. Do you hear me? I don't want you to risk anything."

"But-"

"No." Lisbon said firmly and she could almost see Grace flinch at the other end of the line.

"I want you to stick to the law...at least as much as possible, Grace." Lisbon wasn't naive. Grace would need to overstep a few lines, if she wanted to find anything at all, but there was a difference between reading some e-mails or maybe pretending to be someone she wasn't, and hacking into the national or even international banking system.

"Promise me, Grace, that you won't do anything stupid?"

Grace sighed. "Fine", she grudgingly acknowledged. "I'll do it by the books...or at least kind of, Boss."

Lisbon chuckled at that address, but she was immensely relieved that Grace complied to her request.

"Thank you, Grace."

* * *

The smell of coffee greeted Lisbon as she stepped into the airstream. Jane was fully dressed now and placed two plates with scrambled eggs on the small table the moment she entered. A cup of coffee for her was already waiting on the table.

"You're just in time," he said, but stopped as Lisbon suddenly put her arms around his waist from behind. She didn't really know what had came over her. Seeing him making breakfast for her, supporting here, as he had all these weeks, she'd just felt overwhelmed for a moment.

"Thank you", she murmured into his back, holding on to him very tightly. Jane laughed; she could feel it more than actually hear it.

"What for? A cup of coffee?"

Lisbon closed her eyes for a moment, before she stepped back. She felt almost embarrassed of her sudden burst of affection, but the smile on Jane's face as he turned around, made it disappear instantly. She could see how much it had meant to him and she made a note to herself, to show him more often just how much _he_ meant to her. Especially because she still struggled to find the the words to tell it to him instead.

"You never can be thankful enough for coffee," she said with a smile, well aware that he knew her gratitude was for far more than a cup of coffee. She stepped on her toes and kissed him. She'd planned for it to be only a short peck, but when they finally parted, her hand was buried deep in his still damp hair.

"You had time to make breakfast and take a shower?" she asked surprised. Jane looked very pleased, an amused twinkle in his eyes.

"Not everyone is as grumpy and slow in the morning as you are, Lisbon." She playfully hit him on the arm and sat down at the table, taking a sip of her coffee.

After a moment, she caught him staring at her, instead of eating. "What?" she asked, putting her fork down for a moment. Jane tilted his head to the side, still watching her. "Nothing."

Lisbon simply raised her eyebrows, eliciting a grin in response.

"You're getting good," he remarked. Lisbon rolled her eyes at him. "Don't evade my question. What's going on?"

He leaned back in his chair. "I'm just surprised," he finally said, "to find you in such good humour this morning." He hesitated. "I mean, after everything that happened yesterday it's not what I expected."

Lisbon raised her cup to her lips, only to realise that it was empty.

"Is that a bad thing?" she asked back.

"No, of course not, it's great." He shrugged apologetically, "Just unexpected."

Lisbon slowly began to eat again. She indeed felt a lot better than she had in days, which was kind of odd considering the most recent events, or wasn't it?

"I told you, I just needed to get out of that flat for a night," she said teasingly. Now it was Jane's turn to raise his eyebrows at her.

"Are we back to pretending that's the reason why we spend the night here?"

Lisbon flinched. "No, I didn't mean-" she stopped when she saw the smile on his face. She stood up to refill her mug with coffee. She was surprised, that Jane had no difficulties teasing her about it, it seemed he'd completely forgiven her the little lie from the day before. It might have helped that she'd been open to him about it in the end. It had been difficult, but to her astonishment, it had been such a relief at the same time. Admitting that she was afraid he might leave her; it felt as if a heavy burden was lifted off her. She'd feared it might make things awkward between them, but instead she felt closer to him than she had ever before.

Maybe this newfound opens between them was one of the reasons for her high spirits that morning. Together with the fact, that for the first time in days, there was something she could do, something she could look into herself. A smile lit up her face as she sat back down.

"Do you feel like sharing your epiphany with me?" Jane asked, as he noted her smile.

"Only because you asked so nicely," Lisbon replied.

"He's gloating," she said pleased. "The toy car was completely unnecessary; it adds nothing to his plan, if at all it's a risk for him, because it's something else we might be able to trace back to him. He's playing with us, showing off how powerful he is…in short; he's getting arrogant and reckless. It isn't enough to ruin me, he wants to taunt me with it, make sure I know who's responsible for it; and this will be his downfall."

Jane didn't seem to share her newfound optimism, at least not yet.

"It sure did work, didn't it", he reminded her. "He did manage to spook us quite a bit yesterday."

Lisbon couldn't deny that and she didn't want to. "I guess, but only momentarily. He's going to regret this silly demonstration of power, I promise you that."

She hold his gaze, sure that he would see the determination in her eyes.

Jane stared at her, seemingly forgetting everything else. "Well," he finally said, "I'm glad I'm not him." His voice sounded strained, but Lisbon knew it had nothing to do with fear. She smiled, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Is that so?"

She'd always suspected that Jane had a weak spot for her more determined side. That moment her phone buzzed and Jane groaned in frustration.

"Hold that thought", she ordered him, before she read the message.

"It' from Cho", she explained, whilst typing a reply. "They've been called to a crime scene."

"I guess that means you staying here alone as bait is off the table for today?" The relief in his voice was unmistakable.

"It seems so." Lisbon wasn't particularly disappointment by this change of plans. She'd estimated the likelihood of an attach during daylight as very low anyhow.

"Cho wants you at the crime scene, too", she informed him, "how about you drop me off at the closest school on your way? I have to start somewhere."

Jane stood up and placed their empty plates into the sink. "You think it's a good idea if you go there alone?"

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "It's daylight, Jane. He's not gonna shoot me in a public school."

She regretted her directness the moment she saw him flinch. In an attempt to reassure him, she stood up and put her hand on his arm. "I keep my eyes open and I take cab home. No wandering through the city alone, I promise."

"Fine," he said, "but you call the moment you're back in your flat."

She grinned and kissed him on the cheek. "Deal."

* * *

"Jane, any thoughts?" Cho asked, pointing at the body a few yards behind them. Jane yawned, leaning against Lisbon's car.

"Maybe. Seems pretty straightforward."

Abbott threw him an annoyed glance, as he didn't continue. "Would you mind enlightening us?"

"The man calling the police did it. Way too calm and controlled. I'm sure you'll find the knife in his car."

"Why would he alarm us in in the first place, if he did it?" the local police officer asked him incredulously.

"Don't ask me" Jane said. "Maybe he saw too many crime shows, thought it a good idea to distract suspicion from him." He paused, studying the officer for a moment. "And it seems to work with some people…"

Abbott rolled his eyes at him, but instructed the officer to have a look. Jane checked the time as the officer grudgingly approached their new suspect's car. Lisbon hadn't called yet and Jane was beginning to feel nervous.

The next moment he heard shoutings and instinctively hid behind the car. It only took a few more minutes and the culprit sat in the backseat of one of the many police cars.

"Well, " Abbott said pleased, "that was an efficient morning." He was called away by one of the local police force and Jane pondered whether he could risk to sneak away. It wasn't as if they would need him for the paper work.

"Don't even think about it, " Cho warned him.

"What?" Jane asked, feigning innocence.

"We're leaving together," Cho said, "I'll drive with you."

A suspicion started to take form in Jane's mind. "She told you to keep an eye on me, didn't she?"

Cho didn't answer, he didn't need to. Jane sighed, he'd already wondered what she'd replied to Cho's text in the morning, it had been a suspiciously long message.

Abbott returned to them. "All done here, " he said. "We can go back."

Jane walked around the car, but didn't get in immediately.

"You should keep an eye on her," he told Cho over the roof of the car, "Instead of wasting your energy with me, we both know I'm not the target."

Cho shrugged and Jane felt reminded of a very similar discussion they'd had during Lisbon's stay in prison.

"Who says I can't do both?" Cho countered and Jane grinned, suddenly realising that Wylie wasn't with them. "You have Wylie tailing her?" he asked, "the poor man. I hope she doesn't find out - for his sake."

Again, Cho didn't reply, but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards for only a second and Jane knew that he was right with his suspicion.

Cho got in the car, but the moment Jane opened the door, his phone rang. He took it out of his pocket and grinned as he read her name on the screen.

"Hey", he greeted her, closing the door again without getting in.

"I'm back in my flat", she told him and he could hear from the tone of her voice, that her trip had been successful.

"Glad to hear that."

Cho knocked at his window, but Jane chose to ignore him.

"What was that?" Lisbon asked suspiciously. Jane made a dismissive movement with his hand. "That's only Cho, ignore him; he can wait. What did you find out?"

"I'll tell you tonight. It seems you have work to do."

He might have still been able to coax her into telling him what she'd learned over the phone, if Cho hadn't chosen that moment to call out for him again. He sighed and pocketed his phone, after Lisbon had told him rather sternly to get back to work.

"Are you happy now?" he asked Cho, putting on his seat belt.

"Jane!" Cho's scream echoed loudly in the small car. All Jane saw, when he lifted his eyes to the road, was a wall of metal and glas approaching them - fast. He didn't even have time to feel scared, before the car crashed into them and everything turned black.


	25. A close call

**A close call**

Jane closed his eyes, trying not to focus on the slight throbbing in his temple or the pain in his hand. A shadow moved in front of him and he creaked an eye open.

"Your tea," Abbott said and a smile lit up Jane's face.

"Exactly what I needed; thank you Dennis."

He took a sip of the tea. It was a horrible brew and didn't have much to do with tea... but it was better than nothing. And it wasn't as if he'd expected anything better in a hospital.

"How are you feeling?" Abbott asked, as he sat down on a chair besides his bed.

Jane took another sip, before he answered. "I'm still fine, as I was ten minutes ago."

He put the tea down on the small table.

"How's Cho holding up?" he asked his boss in turn, nodding with his head towards the other end of the room, where Cho was out of sight behind a blue curtain.

"Equally annoyed as you that he's still in the hospital."

Jane grinned.

"He's currently giving his statement to one of the police officers."

Something else that seemed unnecessary. Jane was relieved, that he'd already gotten over the questioning part.

Abbott seemed to sense his annoyance. "It's protocol, Jane. They're only doing their job. It doesn't change anything that you're FBI agents - or consultants. Police has to look into every traffic accident."

Jane leaned back in his bed. "It wasn't an accident," he said, closing his eyes for a moment and remembering the crash.

"Which makes it even more important that they look into it."

Jane sighed. "Isn't it enough, if we investigate, which we'll do anyhow? Couldn't you tell them that this is now an FBI business. I mean there must be some advantages to being part of a state agency."

Abbott didn't answer und Jane could feel or rather hear him tense on his chair. He knew that this could only mean one thing.

He opened his eyes and found hers immediately. He swallowed; she looked pale as she stood there in the door.

"Hey," he said in an, what he hoped, reassuring voice.

She smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Hey you." She stepping closer to the bed. Her eyes flickered to Abbott for a moment. He gave her a short nod. "Lisbon."

She put her hands in her pockets. Jane suspected that it was partly to hide that they were trembling, and part to keep herself from reaching for him. He wouldn't have minded the latter.

"I'm unharmed," he told her, before she could voice the question. She seemed sceptical and her eyes flew to the bandage around his left arm.

"Meh, that's nothing," he made a dismissive waive with his right hand.

"Nothing in this case would be a hairline fracture of your left wrist."

Jane glared at the doctor who just had appeared at his side that moment. The rather young man seemed unimpressed by his stare and instead flipped through the pages on his clipboard.

"I just got your X-ray results, Mr Jane. It's a clean fracture on your radius, about one inch above the joint, no displacement of bones took place. It won't be necessary to operate."

"Well that's a relief," Jane said drily, still slightly annoyed that the doctor had chosen to tell him this in front of Lisbon. She had grown even paler since he'd mentioned the word fracture.

That moment though, she threw him a rather annoyed glance, telling him unmistakably to be more polite.

"If no surgery is necessary, does this mean I can leave now?"

The last thing he needed, was that they decided to keep him for the night. The doctor flipped through the pages again. "Mh...," he said after a moment. "You didn't lose consciousness, but you were hit pretty hard. We can't exclude a slight concussion. However, as long as someone looks after you every few hours to make sure everything's alright, I don't see any objections to you leaving."

Jane sighed in relief. The best news since they'd brought him here.

"Great," he said, attempting to get up.

"Not so fast," the doctor interjected. "You need a splint for your hand and there's some more paperwork that needs filling out. I'll send someone to fit your brace in a moment."

Jane sighed, but he bite back a remark as he caught Lisbon's eyes. He'd hoped that by acting annoyed and not at all affected by what happened, it would help her see the situation the same way. The haunted look in her eyes hadn't disappeared though and his heart sank.

"How's Cho?" she asked, her voice unsteady.

Abbott was faster in replying. "He's uninjured. He's giving his statement to the police now, but then they'll release him."

"What exactly happened?" Lisbon asked, after the doctor left them alone. Jane looked at Abbott, but his boss avoided looking at him. It seemed he would need to be the one to break the news to Lisbon this time. Jane didn't know how much Abbott had told her when he called her, judging by how anxious she seemed, it had been enough.

The ringing of Abbott's phone gave him a few more minutes.

"I have to go, " Abbott told them, after he hung up. "You sure you're doing alright?" he asked Jane again.

"Yes", Jane answered, very firmly, wishing that people would stop asking him that question. Abbott looked at Lisbon for a moment and she hold his gaze.

"Be careful," he told them, but only looking at her. "Both of you."

Lisbon nodded. "We will."

Abbott put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeezes before he left them.

"You shouldn't have come here," Jane said softly as soon as they were alone. Anger flared up in her eyes and he hastily added, "I just mean, you shouldn't be seen with any of the agents, especially not Abbott or Cho. You're supposed to be all on your own, remember?"

Lisbon sat down on the chair, Abbott had vacated moments before.

"Do you seriously think I care?" she asked him incredulously, "You've been attacked..." she stopped, struggling to say the next words. "You could have been killed!"

"But I haven't," Jane took her hand, "I'm fine."

She detracted her hand from his and got up again, apparently unable to sit still.

"I told you," she said, agitated. "I told you he'd come after you."

"Lisbon..."

She only shook her head, looking everywhere but at him.

"Teresa," he tried again, "Look at me."

She finally met his eyes, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"They didn't try to kill me." He spoke very calmly and controlled.

"No!" she said angrily. "Don't, Jane - Don't keep pretending that nothing happened. A car drove into you for god's sake! Of course they wanted to kill you."

Jane stood up and put his hands on her shoulders, ignoring the stab of pain in his left wrist.

"I don't deny that it was an attack on me, or Cho, but they didn't want me dead."

He hold her gaze and after a moment she lowered her eyes, taking a deep breath. It seemed to take her all the effort to calm down.

"Why do you think that?" she asked him finally and he could hear how much she struggled to keep her voice down.

"I was talking to you on the phone, moments before it happened," he explained as he sat down again, on the edge of his bed. "I was standing there, beside my car - well your car actually - I would have made the perfect target."

She sat down besides him with a sigh. It was obvious she didn't believe him. She spoke very carefully, as if she was afraid he couldn't handle the truth.

"Jane-"

"Let me finish," he stopped her. "I saw the car. I didn't even realise it at the time, but I saw a black car a few yards down, parked alongside the road - waiting. Why didn't they do it then? There was no way I would have gotten away! Caught between your car and the approaching one..." his voice trailed of, but there was no need to finish the sentence. She knew as well as he, that he wouldn't have survived such a crash - no one could have.

"But no, instead they waited...until I was inside the car with my seatbelt on. And on top of that, they mainly hit the front of the car. Why not come towards us in a different angle instead, hitting the drivers side full force? It doesn't make any sense."

Lisbon pinched the bridge of her nose.

"But why?" she finally asked said. "What was the attack for then? They didn't possibly hope to kidnap you out in the open?"

Jane shrugged. "I don't know. It would be the worst place ever for such an attempt. We were at a crime scene, with at least two police cars close by. I can't explain it to myself."

A short moment of silence followed his words, then Lisbon asked.

"What happened to the driver?"

"He got away," Jane said. "They found the damaged car a few blocks away, but no trace of the driver. They have him on camera though, it's only a matter of time until they find him."

"That's good, isn't it?" Lisbon sounded a tad hopeful for the first time since she'd entered the room.

"Maybe; we'll see." Jane didn't expect too much from the apprehension of his attacker. Volker had proved over and over again how careful he was. It would be more than surprising if they'd be able to trace this back to him. He didn't dare mentioning his suspicion though, not to smother the spark of hope in Lisbon's eyes. Even though he was aware, that she deep down had to suspect the same.

Almost an hour, a splint fitting and an annoying amount of paperwork later, Jane stepped out of the hospital with Lisbon at his side.

"I'm sorry about your car," he said, as they waited for the cab. Lisbon laughed and hearing that warmed Jane's heart, after having seen her looking downright miserable for the most part since she came to the hospital. He grinned apologetically as she looked at him, "I'll buy you a new one; a better one."

"A better one? I'm not sure I trust your judgment in cars, remembering what you used to drive around the country." She shook her head at him. "And I'm not even talking about the airstream."

"Hey!", Jane warned her, "don't say anything against the airstream."

She chuckled and to his surprise linked her arm with his. It was the first time she'd initiated touch since his accident. It was even more striking, because they were out in the open, where people could see them.

"How's your hand?" Lisbon asked him softly, nudging his right shoulder. Jane looked at the splint on his left wrist.

"Fine." He moved his fingers, that were luckily not covered by the splint.

"I'm glad it's not a cast," he mused, "will make it easier to take it off."

"Take it off?"

"You know, if it get's to annoying..." he stopped as he saw her frown. "Not today of course, I just mean-"

"You're not taking this off unless a doctor tells you to!"

"Wouldn't think of it," he said as innocently as possible. He already prepared himself for another warning, but Lisbon didn't reply. Her eyes were wide open and transfixed on his left hand. She wasn't staring at his splint though and after a short moment of confusion the truth dawned on him.

His wedding ring... it wasn't on his finger. They had asked him to take it off for the X-ray and he hadn't put it back on. With everything happening, it just had slipped his mind.

"Your ring..." Lisbon said, still staring at his hand. Jane slowly reached for the ring hidden the front pocket of his vest, very aware that her eyes followed his every movement. The metal still felt warm against the palm of his hand. Part of him struggled to believe, how he could have forgotten that he wasn't wearing it anymore. It felt odd seeing it lying in his hand, instead of being on his finger, where it belonged...or used to belong? It was a strange thought keeping it off, but then...he closed his fingers around the metal, as a sense of uneasiness overcame him, as he imagining putting it back on.

He looked at Lisbon; it hadn't taken her long to notice the absence of his ring. She never had said anything about it; had never asked why he still was wearing it. Not after his return from exile and not even after he'd confessed his love for her. More so, Jane knew she would never had said anything on her own account. It was one of those topics they never had talk about...and probably never would, if he didn't take the lead. Which didn't mean it hadn't crossed her mind, maybe even had her worried occasionally, or questioning his feelings for her even if only in the deepest part of her subconsciousness - it would have been only natural. Jane swallowed, closing his fist around the ring. It was the last thought, the idea that it might pain her, even if she would never admit it, that helped him to come to a decision.

He put the ring back into his pocket and while his fingers were slightly shaking as he flattened his vest over it; he felt strangely relieved as if a burden had been lifted off him. It was the right choice.

"Are...are you not going to put it back on?" she asked him, a slight tremor in her voice giving away how nervous she truly was. Jane shook his head, feeling her tense beside him.

"No." He searched her eyes. "I think it was time."

She swallowed, breaking eye contact first. He'd scared her, he could see it in her eyes. But more than that, he'd also seen a glimmer of hope hidden beneath her fear. It definitely had been the right choice.

"I don't need to wear it to remember them," he said gently. "I should have taken it off a long time ago. I want to live in the present now, I want to move on."

With you, he finished the sentence in his mind, but didn't dare to say it out loud, not to freak her out even more.

"Okay", she said softly.

That moment his phone rung, interrupting their conversation.

"It's Abbott," he told her, before he picked up. The call lasted only a few minutes.

"They caught him?" Lisbon asked, as he pocketed his phone.

"Yes," Jane said slowly, "he's been arrested and they're brining him in now. Abbott asked me whether I want to be there for the interview."

"We have to go," Lisbon said immediately, clearly surprised by the hesitation she surely could hear in his voice. "This might be the chance we were waiting for."

Jane paused for a moment. "You know that you can't go, don't you?" She flinched and Jane saw a flash of anger in her eyes as she recognised the truth in his words. Anger and frustration.

"I'm sure Cho and Abbott are capable of handling the suspect," Jane said, burying his hands deep in his pockets.

"You're not going?"

He shook his head, not looking at her. He wanted to go, he wanted to ask the man himself, but he couldn't leave her alone. Not after what had happened. He'd misjudged Volker once, he wouldn't do the same mistake twice. He wasn't recklessly enough to say it out loud, but he wouldn't let her out of sight before this was over.

"No. I'm tired and injured, I think I need some rest. I'd rather go home with you."

Lisbon looked at him and he felt exposed under her searching eyes. He suspected that she saw through his lie. She knew him well enough to know, that he always wanted to do interviews himself, even more so if it was personal. She had to know his real motivations, but she didn't call him out on the lie; at least not for the moment.

* * *

Lisbon stopped in her tracks, a cup of tea in her hands, and simply watched him. Jane was lying on her couch, eyes closed, but she knew that he wasn't asleep. The black splint on his wrist looked odd, foreign; it shouldn't be there. Lisbon shuddered as she recollected for the probably hundredth time how close she'd come to losing him that day. Maybe he was right, maybe they hadn't intended to kill him... but just as likely they could have; Volker could have and there would have been nothing she could have done to protect or save him.

She couldn't help herself from shaking at that thought and some tea spilled over.

"Damnit it," she cursed, as the hot water burned on her skin.

"You alright?"

Jane had sat up, looking slightly worried.

"I'm fine, I just spilled your tea." She walked over to him and placed the cup on the coffee table. She was on the point of returning to the kitchen to find a cloth when Jane hold her back.

"Leave it, it'll dry." He looked at her, almost pleadingly and with a sigh, Lisbon gave in and sat down besides him. He smiled at her, before he reached for the cup and took a sip. He sighed in contentment and closed his eyes for a moment.

"That's so much better than the tea I got in the hospital," he said, opening his eyes again. "Thank you, Lisbon."

"I'm glad that I at least cleared that bar," she replied drily. Jane grinned. "I said it's much better, which means far more superior. I can assure you, your cup of tea would also hold it's place against most diners."

He kissed her on the cheek, which in retrospect probably only served to soften his next words.

"Give it a few years, and it'll be as good as when I do it myself."

"Hey," she softly hit him on the arm - the uninjured one.

Jane chuckled and took another sip of his tea. Lisbon leaned back against the cushions, feeling strangely calm now, which probably had been Jane's intention all along when he started to tease her about the tea.

"How's the pain", she asked him after a moment, nodding towards his hand. Jane put the cup back on the table.

"Not too bad. I might take another pain killer before I go to bed, but for now it's fine." He moved closer to her, until their legs and shoulders were touching. Lisbon didn't complain, instead she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"You never told me what you learned at the schools this morning," he reminded her.

"No, I didn't." Lisbon closed her eyes, feeling very tired suddenly.

"Well...", he softly nuzzled her neck.

Lisbon sighed and turned her head towards him. "I didn't get a name, if that's what you were hoping for."

Jane shrugged. "I didn't hope for anything, I just remember that you sounded rather positive on the phone, so it can't have been too bad."

He put his left hand on hers and Lisbon very gently interlocked her finger with his, careful not to put any strain on his wrist.

"As expected, it was an anonymous donor that bought all the cars. However, because schools are not allowed to accept gifts of such a magnitude by private persons, it had to be done over a fundraising organisation. The principal immediately gave me all the details and I forwarded them to Van Pelt. If there's anything dodgy about that organisation; she'll find it and consequently we might trace it back to Volker."

"How did you convince the principal to tell you all this?"

Lisbon grinned at him smugly. "Wouldn't you like to know? See, you're not the only one that manages to get things done without a badge."

Jane sulked. "Come on, Lisbon, that's not fair. How did you do it?"

She considered letting him hang there a while longer, but she couldn't resist his pleading eyes.

"Fine, I'll tell you." She grinned. "Nothing special really, I simply pretended to be writing an article about this act of kindness for the neighbourhood. Making sure to drop how I'd mention the school that was loved by everyone." She tilted her head to the side. "I might even have mentioned that the principle's name might feature in the article in a flattering manner. He didn't even want to see an ID after that. I must make a pretty convincing journalist."

Jane smiled at her. "I'm sure you do." He looked proud and as ridiculous as it was, it warmth her heart.

Jane's phone on the table hummed and he reached for it.

"From Cho?" Lisbon asked, feeling slightly nervous all over again. Jane nodded, handing her the phone and settling back against her side.

Cho texted him that they'd stopped the interview for the day, hoping that a night in jail would make the suspect more likely to talk.

"Maybe you should go in tomorrow," Lisbon suggested, after she threw the phone back onto the table.

"Maybe, " Jane said. "But, let's not talk about this now." He nuzzled her neck and she could feel him yawn. He did seem tired. Which on second thought, might have something to do with the pain killers they'd given him.

"Okay," she said, lifting a hand and run her fingers through his curls. "Why don't you lie down for a while and try to sleep? I can cook us some dinner while you rest."

He chuckled, his warm breath tickling her neck. "I don't think I want to risk that."

"Hey-," she protested, but he hadn't finished yet.

"I will take a nap though, but only if you stay here with me."

"That's blackmail."

She could feel him smile against her skin. "When did that ever stop me?"

"Fine", Lisbon conceded. "I'll take a nap with you, but then you're going to do the cooking afterwards. Splint or not."

"Deal," Jane said and pulled her down with him immediately, as if he was afraid she might change her mind. He put his arms around her and Lisbon settled against him, her head pillowed on his chest.

"Am I not hurting you?" She was sure that he had to be bruised from the seatbelt, but he shook his head. "Never Lisbon, never."

He pressed a kiss to her hair and she could feel him relax. Lisbon allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment, focusing on the slow and steady heartbeat under her ear. He was alive and well and for now that was all that mattered. She could feel her eyelids dropping, his warmth making her sleepy. She fought it for a while, trying to stay alert, but in vain. She knew that the house was under surveillance; nothing could happen to him as long as he was here; there was no reason to stay awake. Very contrary to the situation when he left the safety of her home. She considered asking him to carry one of her guns when he left the house next, but his deep breaths told her that she had to put the question off for later and she finally allowed herself to give in to sleep too.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews and for still reading my story. We're slowly approaching the end of this, only a few chapters left.


	26. Tension

**Tension**

Jane nipped at his tea, watching her pace up and down the kitchen. She'd been restless ever since they'd gotten up and the two coffee's she'd had since clearly hadn't helped calming her down.

"Shouldn't he have called by now?"

He assumed she was talking about Cho. "He told me they're taking it slow. You know how it works, Lisbon. Cho needs some time to stare him down." He chuckled at the last part, which earned him a frown.

He sighed. "Come and sit back down, Lisbon." He patted the chair she'd vacated the moment she'd finished her breakfast.

"A letter came for you," he pointed out, in the hope that it might draw her back to the table.

"A letter? That wasn't there before."

"It was, just hidden underneath the newspaper." He waived it in front of her and she finally complied, snatching the letter from his fingers and ripping it open as she sat down.

"A date for my trial has been set," she told him after a short moment, pushing the letter across the table towards him.

Jane skimmed over it, while he finished his tea.

"Six weeks, that's good. It gives us some more time."

Lisbon didn't answer and when he looked up, he found her staring at her clasped fists.

"Lisbon?"

She slowly opened her hands and pressed them against the table; the tension in her shoulders was unmistakable. Give it a few more hours and she would have a terrible headache - if she hadn't already.

"I can't stand this for another six weeks. All we've done is sitting around and waiting, and what did it bring us?"

Her eyes flicked to the cast on his left hand.

"This was your idea," Jane reminded her carefully, taking his left hand of the table not to remind her constantly of his accident.

"I know, it's just..." she sighed, "I'd hoped we could do more. What about the traps we wanted to set up?"

"Just be patient a little while longer. It hasn't even been a week since your arrest, Lisbon. We first needed to isolate you - at least from an outsider's perspective. The traps are the next step." Which she of course knew very well, but her frustration had reached a new level after last night and Jane couldn't blame her for it.

If he was honest with himself, he didn't want to imagine how he'd react if she'd been the target of an attack the day before. It was an unsettling thought, but he couldn't shake it off and not for the same reasons as usually.

He'd woken up in the middle of the night because Lisbon had had a nightmare. She'd been visibly upset and very shaken after he managed to wake her, but she had pretended not to remember what it had been about. An obvious lie, but he hadn't pressed her to talk. Not that he needed her to; it had been more than obvious. She'd fled into the bathroom and when she'd finally returned, she hadn't looked him in the eyes. She hadn't however let go of him for the rest of the night, as if she'd been afraid he might disappear any moment.

It had taken him a long time to fall asleep again afterwards. As he'd been laying there, holding her close to him, it slowly had dawned on him that he never had put much thought into what losing him would do to her. He had been too obsessed fretting about how he couldn't lose her, how he couldn't go through that pain ever again...and long before he finally admitted his feelings to her. The constant fear of her dying, because of him, or more precisely his feud with Red John, had been his constant companion for years.

But as it had been easier to pretend that she didn't love him, that he wasn't hurting her with his behaviour back then, it also had been so much easier to tell himself, that she would be able to handle his death. He still thought that she would get over it eventually; at some point, but seeing so directly how affected she had been by his brush with death the day before... it had rattled him. Lisbon always seemed strong, unbreakable and while he of course had known that this was partly a facade to protect herself, it had been difficult to face the true extent of her fears. Seeing the pain and horror in her eyes when she woke up - feelings only too well known to him - had almost been physically painful and more so, it had made him feel utterly helpless.

As a matter of fact, it still did, hours later. She was tense, and restless and nothing he'd said or done had managed to calm her down so far. He knew that she wanted nothing more than to go for a run. She hadn't said it in words, but he could read it clearly from her behaviour. He had long suspected that she used running as an escape, as a coping mechanism if everything became too much.

There was no way though, she could go for a run now. It was way too dangerous and she knew it.

"I probably should give my lawyer a call, " Lisbon mused, jolting him out of his rather dark thoughts. He hadn't even noticed, that she'd taken the letter back and was now looking over it again.

"Yeah", he said, trying to focus on the present again, "might be a good idea; to keep the pretence up."

At least it was something they were good at. He was surprised by the bitterness in his thoughts, but it didn't make it less true. After all, he was pretending that he was fine, that he hadn't survived a car crash the day before, and even more so, he pretended not to see how tense she was, and how she in turn had been affected by what had happened.

"Jane?"

He looked up and was met by a worried expression in her eyes. He obviously hadn't been quick enough in hiding his frustration. Damn, she was getting good at this.

"It's nothing," he said, draining the last bit of his tea and grimacing - it had turned cold.

He put the cup back on the table and stood up. This wouldn't do. He couldn't talk about what worried her, because it would only make her more uncomfortable and that was the last thing he wanted. If he couldn't help her,that way however, he at least could try to distract her. If going for a run wasn't an option, he had to come up with some alternatives. A grin flashed across his face at his first idea. Lisbon raised her eyebrows at him.

"What are you smirking about?"

"Nothing," he lied, placing their empty plates into the sink. He suspected that she wouldn't comply with his preferred method of distraction in her current state. She was too tense and far too worried, not even talking about his injury. She still looked at him suspiciously; he had to start with something else, maybe it would work and if not, he always could go back to his first idea.

"We might not be able to set up any traps today," he told her, ushering her out of her chair, "but we at least can plan some."

Lisbon just stared at him, confused. He couldn't but smile - she looked adorable.

"You want to plan them now?"

Jane opened a few drawers, until he found what he'd been looking for. He pressed a notepad and a pen into her hand.

"Why not? Do you have anything else in mind?"

"No," she followed him into the living room. "It's just..."

She stopped and he looked up at her, as he saw down on the couch.

"You didn't think I'd ever seriously let you play bait." He didn't phrase it as a question and Lisbon suddenly looked a tad guilty because she had doubted him. She sat down besides him.

"Maybe."

Jane shrugged. "I don't pretend that I like the idea, but like you, I want to get this over with. We'll just have to come up with a plan that doesn't put you in any kind of danger."

Lisbon's safety was his first priority. He would never gamble with her life, and after last night, he also had more reasons than ever to take equally care of his own safety. He wanted a life with her and most of all, he didn't want to put her through the pain he'd experienced. She'd lost too much already in her life, as had he. They deserved a future together and he wouldn't risk it for anything in the world.

Lisbon still didn't seem convinced.

"Let's assume our plan works-"

"The plan we still have to come up with?" he asked, grinning. Lisbon scowled at him; she clearly wasn't in the mood to joke about this.

"Go on," he said meekly.

"Let's say we lure him into lashing out after me… why should it be any different than the attack on you yesterday? We still haven't heard from Cho, but let's face the truth; we won't get much from the driver. Why should it be any different the next time?"

Jane lapsed into silence for a moment, carefully contemplating his next words. He had talked with Cho about this, but it never had come up between him and Lisbon.

"I don't think it will be the same."

"Why not?" she asked exasperated.

"Because he will be there."

Lisbon laughed but the laughter died on her lips as he kept a straight face. "You're serious?" she shook her head at him, "he's in prison, Jane! How on earth should he manage to be there?"

"Volker isn't a man planning on spending the rest of his life behind bars, " Jane answered calmly. "He has a plan to escape, I'm certain of it. Remember how calm and controlled he was when we met him. That wasn't a man accepting a life in prison far from it."

He stood up, feeling the sudden need to move. "Consider what he has achieved from inside prison? He almost ruined an FBI agent's career, planned a murder, staged an attack on FBI agents...why stop there? Why shouldn't he use his money and his connections to get himself a way out? Why should he only use it to get his revenge, but then rot in jail for the rest of his life? It doesn't make any sense."

"Jane-"

"No, let me finish," he stopped her. "I know it, Teresa. Volker is dangerous and he has a plan. I don't know how, or when, but I'm sure he plans to be there, when he…" he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence, but he was sure she knew very well what he was trying to say.

She didn't reply immediately, but she reached for his hand as he sat back down. Her fingers traced the edge of his splint before they finally wrapped themselves around his. She gently rubbed over the dent at the base of his finger, where his ring used to be; she probably wasn't even aware of it.

She took a deep breath. "We better come up with a good plan then, if you're right."

He felt relieved that she didn't dispute his theory. He kissed her on the cheek.

"We will. As a matter of fact, I already have some ideas."

"You do?" she handed him the notepad.

"Yeah," he leaned back against the couch, showing no intentions of writing anything down, or telling her anything for that matter.

"Well.. I'm waiting…" he could hear a hint of impatience in her voice and he just couldn't resist - years of habits.

"For my plan? Oh no, it's not at a stage yet where I can share it." He made a vague movement with his hand, "I have to let it simmer for a while longer; let it develop. You'll hear about it in due time."

"The hell…" she tightened her grip around his hand and Jane flinched.

"Ah, Lisbon…" he said carefully, trying to withdraw his hand. She let go of him as if she'd burned herself and he tentatively flexed his fingers - everything seemed to be alright. She looked guilty, but not guilty enough to apologise; well he probably deserved that, he should have know better than to tease her while she was holding his injured hand. He was actually surprised that she hadn't punched him.

"Sorry," he said with a grin, "couldn't resist." She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"This is no joking matter, Jane."

"No," he said more seriously, "it isn't, you're right. About my idea… I don't have much yet, so don't get to excited."

She still frowned at him. "I wasn't going to, believe me."

"I think we should do what he's expecting the least."

Her frown intensified. "And what's that supposed to be?"

Jane shrugged, "I told you I'm still developing the idea." She rolled her eyes, but he chose to ignore that for the moment.

"We have to get you out of this house and away from me. I thought about you following a lead somewhere, alone, preferably at a remote location."

"And what lead would that be?"

Another shrug."I don't know yet, but I hoped we could use our little friend currently in holding to come up with something. If we prod long enough he might give us a a fake address."

Lisbon bit her lip. "And why on earth would I go there alone? Especially after what happened yesterday?"

It was a good question, and not the only problem with his little plan.

"Maybe it's time for another fake argument, but this time between the two of us. An angry disagreement about how to proceed next, about how to deal with this new information…," he smiled at her to soften his next words, "I could very well see you run off and do something rush, like checking out the place on your own."

Lisbon didn't seem convinced. "Even if I would do something like that," she began," - and I don't say I would ever be as reckless - How will Volker hear about it quickly enough? Whatever he plans won't happen in a few hours, especially not if you're right and it involves a prison break. Not even mentioning that he's in California…"

"I told you it's just an idea, it needs some more fine tuning."

"Fine-tuning my..." she murmured, before she said more loudly, "That's not even an idea, Jane. That's nothing."

He grinned. "You wanted to hear it, I'm afraid you have to get used to rather half-baked plans, at least if you insist that I always tell you about them from the moment they enter my head."

Now it was her turn to smile. "Half baked, crazy plans…don't see how that differs from what you came up with over the years?"

"Haha," he couldn't really be offended, not if it made her smile. "Well, do yo have a better idea?"

She shook her head grudgingly. "Not yet."

He threw the notepad on the coffee table and the pen rolled of it, falling to the floor. "That much about planning a trap."

His phone buzzed distracting them momentarily; Cho had sent him a text. After reading it, he felt a tad of disappointment, even though he'd expected nothing else.

"He still refuses to talk."

Lisbon equally didn't seem surprised by this news. She looked at him and he knew what she was going to ask next.

"I'm still thinking about it," he answered her unspoken question. She only raised her eyebrows at him, but didn't comment on the fact that he'd guessed her question. Correctly as he assumed, otherwise she would have complained; he was sure about that.

"Okay," she said softly. It was obvious that she was torn between wanting him to go and her need to keep him at her side. He couldn't tell which side was winning at the moment. Lisbon pinched the bridge of her nose, if anything she seemed more tense now than half an hour ago. Jane suppressed a sigh.

"I want you to take one of my guns when you leave the house," she suddenly said, taking him by surprise.

"A gun," he stared at her. He hadn't expected this, especially not after what they'd just talked about. He'd made it clear a while ago, what he would like to do if he ever crossed path with Volker again.

She looked at him and he knew that she also remembered their discussion. He swallowed; he also remembered that he promised her to do it her way. He was the one to break eye contact first. She put her hand on his.

"I want you to carry a gun to be able to defend yourself."

He didn't like the idea of carrying a weapon, but he could see her point. Part of him was afraid though what he might do with the gun, given the chance.

"Self defence," she reminded him again, more firmly. He tilted his head and smiled at her, sadly, "I can also use it to defend you, I hope. Or Cho, or Wylie..."

She nodded. "Defence, let's call it defence instead."

"It isnt't by any chance an unregistered gun?"

This time she did punch him on the arm - justifiably so. He grimaced.

"No sense of humour in the morning, I should know by now."

He half expected another punch following that remark, but instead she kissed him - hard. He smiled against her lips, pulling her closer. It seemed Lisbon wasn't as opposed to his preferred method of distraction as he'd thought. She probably hoped it would take his mind of potential ways to get rid of Volker. It might even work, temporally, but he couldn't say that he was sad about it.

* * *

Lisbon closed her eyes and enjoyed the sun streaming through the bedroom window. For the first time since her nightmare she felt completely calm; the darkness that had settled around her heart ever since her dream, had finally been lifted.

Jane was lying beside her and his right hand drew slow circles on her bare back. She knew that they had to get up, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it just yet.

"You look pretty worn out," Jane remarked that moment teasingly. She grinned, hiding her face in her pillow so he couldn't see it. She replied in the most serious voice she could muster, "Well what do you expect? I had to do all the work after all."

"I'm injured!" Jane protested, "Besides, I wouldn't say you did _all_ the work."

Lisbon still hid her grin from him and didn't reply. He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder.

"I have to admit though, you did your part marvellously."

Lisbon chuckled, but still didn't look at him.

"I guess you did alright too." It was an understatement, but he definitely deserved it after teasing her like that.

"Alright?" He sounded a tad offended and Lisbon turned to look at him. He had his eyebrows raised. She couldn't resist him for very long, not when he looked at her like that, tousled hair and everything.

"Okay", she admitted, "it was maybe more than just alright."

A huge grin spread across his face. "Glad to hear that."

She rolled her eyes at him, but couldn't suppress a smile.

He fell silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, he sounded more sincere.

"It wasn't a run, but I hope it helped a bit, nevertheless."

Lisbon stared at him, surprised. "How..." she stopped herself with a sigh. "No, forget I even asked."

He smiled at her, tucking one of her locks back behind her ear. Lisbon cleared her throat, suddenly feeling embarrassingly emotional. He hadn't pushed her to talk about her nightmare, but he had known exactly what she had needed.

"Thank you," she finally said and kissed him softly.

Jane had his eyes closed, even after they parted. "You're welcome." A smile played on his lips. "Besides, it isn't as if it was a sacrifice for me."

Lisbon laughed and sat up.

"Come on." She patted him lightly on the chest. "We've spent enough time in bed today."

"I don't think you can ever spend too much time in bed," Jane mused, but sat up nevertheless.

"Maybe not", she admitted, "but before we can spend whole days doing nothing-"

"Well I wouldn't call what we just did nothing..."

Lisbon rolled her yes at him. "You know what I mean, Jane."

He grinned at her, but she didn't let him charm her out of what she wanted to say - even if it wasn't easy. Especially, because she knew her next words would turn the mood.

"There's still work to do for you."

Jane sobered up instantly. "You want me to go and do the interrogation?"

She could hear surprise in his voice, but there was also something more, something she couldn't really put her finger on.

"Yes," she said firmly, not taking her yes off him. "We have to take every chance we can get. You should go talk to him, and if nothing else, prod him to give us a fake lead we can use for your little plan." Even if it meant she had to let him out of sight. A shiver run across her back at that thought and the hairs on her arms stood up. Jane seemed to have sensed it, because he chose that moment to touch her arm, his hand warm and comforting on her skin.

"You sure?" She looked at him and nodded. She hated the idea of having them part, even if only for a few hours; but there was just no other way. They couldn't hide in her house forever.

"Yes," she said firmly, "I'm sure."

Half an hour later Jane stood in the entrance, waiting for Cho to arrive. "Be careful," he warned her.

"I'm not the one leaving the house, Jane", she reminded him, trying not to think what had happened the last time he and Cho had been in a car. A thought suddenly struck her and she rushed into her bedroom.

"Lisbon?" She run into Jane on her way back, he'd followed her into the corridor.

"What-" his voice trailed of as he saw the weapon in her hand.

He hesitated.

"We talked about this, Jane. Please?"

Her eyes met his and she was suddenly strongly reminded of the last time she'd given him her weapon.

She didn't say it, but her thoughts hung in the air between them, as clearly as if she'd spoken them out lout. Jane slowly reached for the gun and their fingers touched as he lifted it from her hands.

Coldness pooled in Lisbon's stomach and she felt horribly all of a sudden. The last time they'd been in this situation, she hadn't seen him for two years afterwards. She took a deep breath; she was being ridiculous, this was different.

Jane didn't take his eyes off her, as he used his uninjured hand to put the gun into the waistband of his pants.

"It will be okay, Lisbon," he assured her, taking her hand in his. She just nodded, the splint under her right fingers a reminder of how close she'd come to losing him only a day ago.

A horn could be heard from her driveway.

"Cho is here, " Lisbon said, her voice sounding strangely empty, "you should go."

Jane kissed her softly, before he lot go of her hands. "I'll be back in a few hours." Lisbon watched him step out the door, suddenly feeling very alone.

* * *

A/N: Sorry, for this chapter; it's more a filler than anything else and I struggled with it, quite a lot. As a matter of fact, I'm still not happy with it, but I don't think another week of tweaking will make it any better, so I decided not to make you wait even longer. It'll be three or four more chapters (and maybe an epilogue). Thanks for all your reviews and for still sticking with this story.


	27. Timing

**A/N:** I'm so sorry that it took me so long to update this story and I also apologise for the chapter. It's short and underwhelming, but it's all I managed. Again, thank you all so much for your reviews to my last chapter and for still reading this story. I won't make you wait equally long for the next chapter, I promise.

* * *

 **Timing**

Jane tapped his finger against his tea cup as he leaned against Wylie's desk.

"Is Cho with the suspect?" he asked his young colleague, whilst trying to decipher the code on the screen.

"Yeah," Wylie looked up. "Don't you wanna join him?"

Jane shook his head. "Not yet."

He took a sip of his tea. His first impulse had indeed been to immediately storm the interrogation room to get this over with as quickly as possible. The longer it took him, the longer Lisbon would be alone at home. But then he'd realised, that it might be more effective to gather some information first and to come up with a plan.

"What did you get so far?" he asked Wylie. "Did he say anything?"

"Not really. I mean he told us his name…" Wylie stopped talking and rummaged through a pile pages on his desk. "Here," he said, handing him a page.

Jane skimmed over it. Martin Bloom, 34 years old… unmarried but with three children from different woman; didn't speak for a sense of responsibility. Neither did the long list of minor offences listed below. A couple of bar fights, minors thefts…drug charges. This man definitely had his fair share of contact with the justice system.

"Anything else," he asked, not lifting his eyes of the page. "Did you check his financial situation."

Wylie waived another page in front of him. "He's deep in the red. And he's currently sued by two of the mothers of his children, for not having payed the aliments."

"In short…everything about him screams that he needs money. A considerable amount of it, and fast."

Wylie nodded in response to Jane's conclusion, "seems like it."

The perfect target for someone like Volker, or rather someone on the outside working for Volker. Jane placed his empty cup on Wylie's desk. The young agent opened his mouth to protest, but changed his mind as Jane met his eyes.

"Jane."

They both turned around as Cho approached them. He looked annoyed, at last as annoyed as Cho could look. It wasn't a good sign.

"I guess I don't have to ask how it went," Jane remarked.

"No," Cho said drily. "It's your turn now."

"How long do I have before his lawyer shows up, ruining all the fun?"

"That's the strangest part," Cho said, "he doesn't want a lawyer. Didn't ask for it, not once."

A frown appeared between Jane's eyes. Remembering the long list of past offences, Jane would have expected him to ask for a lawyer right away.

Jane tapped his right index finger against his lips. "He refuses to talk, but he also doesn't want to see a lawyer. What is he playing at?""

"Don't ask me. We have him on camera, there's no way he can get out of this. Refusing to talk seems the most stupid thing to do; it's only making his situation look worse."

Jane glanced again at the sheet on Wylie's desk.

"Well, he's not new to the whole interrogation thing. He should know how it works, meaning slaunless he lost his mind in the car crash, he's up to something."

He stretched his arms. "It's time we figure out what that is."

Clapping Wylie on the shoulder, he said. "Can you dig up some old statements he made during interrogations for his many past brushes with the law? Video footage would be the best, might help us to get an idea what is different this time."

The young agent nodded, focusing on the screen again, his hands flying over the keys.

"Do you want me to stay outside?" Cho asked and Jane shook his head as they walked to the interrogation room. "No, I'd rather have you in there. Might make him more nervous and if he's not only focusing on me, I can observe him easier."

Jane let Cho enter first and only then stepped inside himself. The suspects eyes immediately fixed on him and it was evident that he recognised him. Something in his posture shifted. Was he relieved to see him?

Jane sat down, appearing calm and relaxed. He had been the target of the attack, so it wasn't surprising that the suspect recognised him, but something about his reaction seemed off. Relief wasn't the reaction Jane had expected. Guilt maybe, a hint of a bad conscience or at least a slight uneasiness at being in the same room as someone he'd tried to kill just a day ago…that all would have made sense, but not relief.

"What time is it?" Not Cho or him, but the suspect spoke first, something else Jane hadn't expected. He didn't see any reason not to answer though.

"Shortly after 11. Why, do you have to be somewhere?" Jane leaned back in his chair. "I'm afraid I have to disappoint you, you're not gonna go anywhere…not for a long time." He nodded towards Cho and his friend got the silent message and opened the file in front of him on the desk.

"Attempted murder gets you at least 20years…looking at your record, even life."

"I didn't try to murder anyone."

Jane noted how Cho's shoulders moved slightly, hardly visible. He's friend was surprised. This was therefore the first time, Martin Bloom choose to say something that was related to the charges. It seemed he had decided to start talking after all.

"No? You mean you just by accident crashed your car into ours?"

This time Bloom shrugged. "Didn't say that, I just said I didn't try to kill anyone."

"Let's cut the anyone," Jane said, more firmly. "Why don't we call it by it's name. You're saying you didn't mean to kill me?"

For the first time Bloom seemed slightly uncomfortable. It was the reaction Jane had expected when he entered - a mixture of guilt and shame. Another proof that this had been a paid job. Bloom had nothing against him personally, he didn't sense anger or resentment in the man's behaviour.

"No," Bloom answered, shifting slightly on his chair.

"That's interesting," Jane remarked. "Because I kind of got that impression when you drove into us. So how else did that come about? Confused your gas pedada with the break?"

Bloom shook his head again. "No...it's just. I only wanted to scare you, but somehow I was faster than I thought."

It seemed a lame excuse and not even convincingly told. Jane just raised his eyebrows.

"And I didn't want to hit you," Bloom continued, "I thought you were someone else." He swallowed, again shifting on his chair. All signs that didn't speak for him telling the truth.

"I thought you're my Ex's new guy...wanted to give you… him a scare."

Cho spoke for the first time. "Which one of your ex's?"

"Well, Cathy of course. That bitch is suing me."

"She's not the only one, isn't she?" Jane said, trying to move the talk in a slightly different direction. Taking away control was usually the best strategy to derail a house of lies. He draw the folder closer to himself and looked through it.

"It seems you owe many people a lot of money... not just Cathy.."

"Maybe." Bloom sounded definitely nervous now. "That's none of your concern."

Jane lifted his eyes of the folder, focusing on Bloom again. "It might be." He closed the folder demonstratively, laying his hands on top of it. Bloom's eyes were drawn to the cast on his wrist.

"There's many ways to get money" Cho remarked drily. "Doing someone else's dirty work is one of them."

Bloom's head shot up. "What? You think I was payed to do this?" He shook his head vehemently, all the while his hand nervously gripped the edge of the table.

"I told you, I thought he's that..."

Jane lifted his hand, stopping him mid-sentence. "Yeah, we heard that story, no need to repeat it."

"It's not a story, it's the truth."

Jane didn't believe him for a second. Nor did Cho, if the way he raised his eyebrows was anything to go by.

Jane sighed, pretending to be bored. "This is getting tedious," he said, "I have better things to do than spend my time in a windowless interrogation room." He addressed Cho. "Maybe another night in a holding cell will help him remember the truth."

Cho shrugged. "Or we just leave it altogether and give him to the prosecutor. They have him on tape, we don't need a confession to book him. Let him tell his story to the judge, or the jury."

Jane had not escaped how Bloom had become increasingly agitated and as he attempted to stand up, Bloom blurted out. "No. Don't go."

He seemed more than just nervous, he was scared. Jane didn't know what to make of this. With every minute passing, this was getting more and more intriguing.

Bloom eyes flicked from him to Cho and back.

"I'll talk, I tell you everything you want to know, just please...stay."

Jane sat down again. For a moment no one said a word.

"Well," Jane began, "you promised us the truth. We're waiting."

"What do you want to know?"

Playing for time; he was obviously playing for time. But why? Jane couldn't get is head wrapped around this. What did he gain from dragging out the interrogation?

"For starters, tell us who you were targeting," Cho asked him.

Bloom hesitated a moment longer, his hands gripping the table as if for support.

"And no more lies," Jane warned him. "I've run out of patience. One lie and we're out of here, for good."

If anything, this statement made Bloom even more nervous. Intriguing indeed.

"You," he said finally, hardly audibly.

"What?" Jane asked, "I'm not sure I got that."

"I was targeting you." Bloom was sweating now, "but I didn't mean to kill you, you have to believe me."

"I have to do nothing. Convince me, why should I believe that?

"I'm not a murderer."

Jane rolled his eyes, while Cho made some notes.

"I need more than that, Martin. A lot more than that."

Bloom sighed, then he took a deep breath and started to talk.

"Well, that was odd," Cho said, as they finally left the room and closed the door behind them. Once Bloom had started to talk, it had been difficult to get him to stop.

Jane nodded, only half listening. He just couldn't shake of the feeling, that they missed something; something important.

"Yeah," he finally said, half heartedly. Cho didn't see to notice, or mind, that his reply sounded disinterested, instead he continued, "I'll give Wylie the new information, let's see whether he can confirm some of the details.

Jane nodded again. "Yes, he should be able to confirm with Bloom's ex whether he gave her the money he already got in advance for the job."

He felt like another tea and made a beeline for the kitchen. Cho followed him. "You thinks it's worth checking out the place the money was deposited?"

Jane filled the kettle with water. "Yes, but not right away." He didn't expect them to find anything useful there, but they might be able to use it to lure out Volker. He took a cup out of the cupboard. "Do you want one too?" he asked Cho, not surprised when the other agent declined.

Jane told him about the plan he'd developed together with Lisbon in the morning while they waited for the kettle to whistle.

"That's not a plan," Cho said, eliciting a grin from Jane as Cho unawarely mirrored Lisbon's initial response.

"Not, but it's an idea; it's something we can work with." He poured the water into his cup. "I admit, it's not much, but we can't be choosy." He looked at Cho. "Volker has been ahead of us ever since this began. It's time we start acting, instead of reacting."

Jane took a sip of the still hot tea, hoping that it might help him to focus; in vain. He couldn't shake of the uneasy feeling that something wasn't going according to plan.

Wylie was eager to work through the new details they gave him. It took him not even ten minutes to confirm, that Bloom had indeed shown up on his ex's doorstep two days ago, handing her a huge pile of cash.

"At least that part of his story holds," Cho said, after Wylie told them the news.

Jane again only half listened to them. He'd texted Lisbon a few minutes ago and was now anxiously waiting for a reply. He just decided to call her instead, when her message finally arrived.

 _Well, that's good news, isn't it? When will you be back?_

He'd informed her that Bloom had admitted to have being ordered to do it. Jane hesitated for a moment with his reply. "Cho, do you still need me here, today?" He was eager to get out of the office and back to Lisbon.

"No, if you really don't want us to have a look at the cash drop today, then there's not much we…or you can do today."

Jane smiled apologetically. He felt slightly bad for not helping them with any of their current cases, but he just couldn't focus, especially not if it came to paperwork. But then...he never had done any paperwork, in that sense it didn't matter whether he stayed or not.

"Well then," he said, but he couldn't finish his sentence, because that moment Abbott walked towards them. Jane immediately had the sinking feeling that he might have to postpone his departure. His boss's next words confirmed his suspicion.

"Jane, good that you're still here." He stopped in front of Wylie's desk. "I just got a call from Carlson, he'd like to meet to talk about the new developments." Jane frowned. "Why would he come over for that? Didn't we agree that it's too suspicious if we meet with IA?"

"Considering that this is about one of my agents, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for them to keep me updated," Abbott said, "not even if this wasn't a ruse."

Cho crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Did he say what this is all about? What new developments?"

Abbott seemed taken aback by that question. "I didn't ask. I assume he learned about your accident. I'd call that new developments…even though not the ones we'd hoped for." His eyes moved from Cho to Jane. "How are you two, by the way?"

Jane just rolled his eyes and walked back to his couch. "We're fine," he heard Cho answer for both of them. Jane grudgingly texted Lisbon that it might be another hour or two until he'd be home. This time he didn't have to wait long for her reply.

 _Okay. Take your time, I'm fine. Love you._

He pocketed his phone again. Strangely, he felt even more at unease than before she'd texted him. He still couldn't shake off the feeling, that he was missing something.

* * *

Lisbon turned the TV off again with a sigh. She'd tried to distract herself, but she hadn't managed to focus on anything they'd sad. Besides, she couldn't believe what rubbish there was on TV at that time of the day. She picked the notepad off the coffee table that Jane had planned to use for his plan. She smiled at the memory of what they done instead.

The doorbell rang and jolted her out of her thoughts. She frowned, her hand moving to her hip, only to find that she wasn't carrying her gun - she'd left it in the bedroom.

It couldn't be Jane, he'd only left a short while ago. She walked over to the door and looked through the spyhole. It was a police officer. Her heart missed a beat as panic struck her. What if something had happened to Jane, what if he'd had another accident?

She opened the door without even thinking about it. The police officer didn't move and the hairs on her neck bristled. Instantly, Lisbon knew, that she'd made a mistake. Cho or Abbott would have come to tell her in person if something had happened to Jane.

The metallic click of a weapon being cocked could be heard to her right. Lisbon slowly turned towards the sound. Volker was smiling at her, his gun pointed at her head.

"What a pleasure to see you again, Teresa."


	28. Shattering

**Shattering**

Lisbon didn't blink or flinch as she looked into the barrel of the gun. It wasn't fear that paralysed her, it was the calm awareness that she needed to stay focused. She couldn't afford fear to cloud her judgment, she needed every last bit of her mind functioning at it's best if she wanted to get out of this alive. Instincts from years of being a cop kicked in, helping her to stay calm and concentrated. She took in every small detail around her. The road seemed empty, which made it pointless to call for help. The camera Wylie had set up was still there, she noticed it out of the corner of her eyes. It looked intact. If they had disabled it, it had been done electronically. And if not…well, then there was the small chance that support might be on it's way already.

Volker still smiled at her. "Don't you invite us inside? Keeping us waiting on your doorstep is not very friendly, Teresa." He moved closer, the gun now pointing at her heart.

"Walk," the police officer told her. "And don't make a sound."

She'd almost forgotten him. She studied him as she stepped backwards into her flat, the two men following her. His uniform looked legit. Her eyes moved to the number on his badge. It was impossible to tell whether he was truly police, or whether it had only been a trick to lure her out...not that it mattered; he clearly was working for Volker.

"Wait." Volker instructed her, as he closed the door behind them. The metallic click of the lock snapping into place sounded strangely loud in her ears. The officer pushed past her, she heard him ruffle through the newspaper on the table; he was checking for a gun or anything else she could use to defend herself; he wouldn't find anything. She heard him open the door to her bedrooms and then the bathroom.

"All clear," he said as he returned a moment later, "she's alone."

Lisbon couldn't but notice his choice of words. He sounded like a police officer and for some reason the realisation that another law enforcement employee had been corrupted by money, pained her. She should have learned it by now; a badge didn't always come with the integrity she'd once hoped it would.

"Well that was easy." Volker said, "I'm almost disappointed, Teresa. I didn't think you'd make it that easy." He nodded towards her, directing his words at his helper."Tie her up, make sure she can't move. I'm not taking any chances, not this time."

Lisbon was roughly pulled backwards and she stumbled slightly. Her hands were brought behind her back and bound; the hard plastic of a zip tie biting into her skin. Of all the methods to handcuff someone it was the one she stood at least a small chance to free herself. It wasn't easy, but not as impossible as metal cuffs would have been, at least for her. Jane wouldn't have had a issue with those at all. Jane - a wave of longing and fear washed over her as he entered her thoughts. She took a deep breath, trying to shut everything out and to focus on the now again. She couldn't afford to be distracted, not if she wanted to survive.

Breaking her hands free would not be of much help anyhow, not as long as she had a gun pointed at herself.

The gun. She couldn't but think of her own guns…one on her bedside table and out of reach, the second one with Jane and the third one hidden in one of the kitchen drawers. If she'd only had an opportunity to get there. Volker nodded almost imperceptible and the man behind her - she refused to think of him as police any longer- pushed her to her knees.

Lisbon swallowed, trying to suppress the fear that momentarily threatened to overcome her. She needed to focus, she needed to think of something. Her own heartbeat resonated in her ears; loud and fast.

"Well, " Volker said gleefully. "There we are, at last. I've waited a long time for this moment."

Time, Lisbon thought, she needed time. If she only got him talking long enough, maybe the police surveilling her would notice something. She didn't dare hoping for Jane's return and she wasn't sure she even wanted it. Jane was no trained police officer, they likely would both end up dead. For the fraction of a section fear cut through her like a knife, treating to take her breath away, then she managed to bottle it away again.

Time…she reminded herself again, willing her mind to stay focused.

"I'm afraid I can't say the same." It was the first time she spoke and Lisbon was surprised how calm her voice sounded. "Not that I didn't expect something like this to happen."

Volker seemed amused. "I imagine you did, but you probably hoped it would happen under slightly different circumstances; preferentially with you and your people outnumbering me, not the other way around." He seemed very pleased with himself.

" I have to say, for a moment there you had me. I actually thought they arrested you."

"They did arrest me," Lisbon corrected him.

Volker smiled. "Yes, they did, but we both know you had been cleared by then. Or you knew it back then already, it took me a while longer to figure that out. It was a clever move, I have to give you that." He studied her, completely at ease. Dread pooled in Lisbon's stomach. It was obvious that he didn't feel under time pressure. The horrifying truth began to sank in, that no one would come to her rescue; the cameras were useless.

"What gave us away?" she asked, pressing her hands against the plastic in an attempt to loosen it. All the effort they'd taken; it all had been for nothing. Instead of setting a trap for Volker, she'd taken his bait.

"I had my sources." A grin spread across his face. "There are no secrets if you have enough money, I thought you learned that lesson by now."

The plastic didn't yield and Volker hadn't lowered his weapon.

"It's horrendous what they pay you in law enforcement," Volker mused, "no wonder it so easy to find willing volunteers."

Lisbon felt a movement behind her as the volunteer Volker had brought with him that day, returned. She'd hardly noticed that he'd left her side.

"Did you find something?" The words weren't directed at her.

"Yes", the now familiar voice of her captor answered.

"Good. That will do." Volker sounded satisfied. The next moment the man behind her put a shawl around her neck; still loose but the implication wasn't lost on her. Lisbon swallowed, her heart racing. She need to keep him talking.

"How come you're not in prison?" A faint tremor laced her voice and she saw Volker's eyes light up as he noted it.

"It doesn't matter, I'm her now." He laughed, "Why waste our time talking about such banalities. There are much more entertaining things I'd like to discuss with you, besides, it's not as if this knowledge will help you in any way." He fixated her, his eyes cold and unfeeling. "You won't be able to tell anyone about this, I'm sure you're aware of that."

She didn't waver under his glance, even though her heart beat painfully fast by now.

"What do you want to talk about instead?" she asked him. She felt anger all of sudden. Anger at herself, for not having been more careful, but most of all anger at the man in front of her. If he hoped she would beg for her life, he was mistaken. She wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

If anything though, he seemed pleased by her defiance.

"I want you to know what's happening next." He looked at her, obviously trying to provoke a reaction from her. Lisbon tried to keep her face expressionless.

Volker took a page out of his pocket and stepped closer, holding it in front of her so that she could read it. Lisbon skimmed over it - it was a suicide note. Her heart skipped a beat as the realisation hit her - it was _her_ suicide note.

"They won't believe it," she looked up. "They won't believe it, not for a second."

Volker folded the letter carefully and put it back into his pocket. "No, they probably won't." He grinned, "but the media will love it, I'm sure of it." Lisbon pressed her hands against the zip tie so hard, that she was sure it would leave marks on her skin.

"An anonymous source will feed this note to the media, and tomorrow it will be all over the news. Maybe you're right, maybe there will be doubts later on whether this was a suicide or not…but without a suspect and considering your recent history, no one will be interested to learn that. For the world, you'll have taken your own life, unable to live with the shame of having lost your job."

"There will be a suspect," Lisbon said between clenched teeth."You won't get away with this."

"Oh, I forgot, you don't know the news yet." Volker sighed theatrically, "I died in prison, very tragically." A devious smile flashed across his face. "So you see, no suspect."

Lisbon mind went blank. If he had pretended to die in prison, why hadn't they been informed?

A sudden sound made them all turn around; it came from her phone. Lisbon moved forward but the shawl around her neck tightened, keeping her where she was. Volker slowly walked to the table and picked up her phone. It had been a text and Lisbon was sure that it was from Jane.

Volker came back to her, the phone in his hand. He didn't speak. Lisbon bit her lip, she knew he wanted her to ask and she was tempted to do exactly that. In the end Volker gave in first.

"It's your boyfriend," he said. It was the first time someone had ever used that term to describe Jane, the realisation hit her unexpectedly. It was the first and maybe also last time she would ever hear him mentioned that way.

Only now Lisbon noticed that Volker seemed slightly annoyed. Something apparently hadn't gone according to plan, maybe there was still hope.

"My friend in the holding cell at the FBI talked to quickly…" he looked at the man behind her. "You'll have to take care of that when were finished here."

He turned his attention back to her. "It also means I have less time than I thought…I might have to make this quicker than I wanted to. What a pity."

He typend something into her phone. "I hope you don't mind that I take the liberty to answer that."

Lisbon bit back a response. It wasn't as if she had a choice. It only took a short moment before Jane replied again.

Volker smiled as he read the message. "Forget what I just said, we have plenty of time. At least half an hour, maybe even more."

Lisbon swallowed. "The attack on Jane, it was you, wasn't it?" She didn't know where this question came from, but everything that kept Volker talking was a good thing.

He had finished typing another reply to Jane and pocketed the phone.

"You need to ask me that? Of course it was me…or someone I paid, which is the same." He moved the weapon back into his right hand, now that he no longer hold the phone. A hint of annoyance was visible in his expression as he mentioned the attack the day before and likely remembered again that not everything had gone as planned. Lisbon felt a surge of spitefulness. "Money can't buy you loyalty it seems, at least not in the long term."

Anger flared up in his eyes. "I would be careful if I were you, Teresa. You won't be able to save your own life, but there are other people whose future might depend on your behaviour…"

Lisbon blinked, her breathing accelerated. Volker had stepped very close to her, the cold metal of the gun pressing against her chest now.

"I could have killed him," he said quietly and Lisbon didn't have to ask who he was taking about. "He could be dead by now…and just as easily he can be dead tomorrow."

She could feel his breath on her face, he was so close now.

*I thought about killing him a few times, but in the end…" He stepped back again and ooked down at her condescendingly.

"It only would have made things more complicated. They surely would have looked you away, trying to hide you from me. More importantly, it would have been unnecessary." He laughed again, a cold laugh that froze the blood in her veins.

"Why bother killing him, I'm sure he'll take care of that himself…after he finds you."

This time, Lisbon failed to control her emotions; a shiver runing through her body.

"No," she said vehemently. She felt the shawl tightening around her neck, not enough to strangle her, but the threat was unmistakable.

"No? You think he'll be able to handle losing you?" He shook his head. "You don't seriously believe that, Teresa, don't you?"

"He'll find you," Lisbon said without even thinking about it, "He'll hunt you down, and he'll kill you."

Blood was rushing in her ears. She didn't want to imagine Jane being consumed by revenge once again; his whole life turning around the single purpose to avenge her. And then, very at the back of her mind, a faint voice reminded her, that Volker might be right. What if it would break him, what if he decided to give up. She struggled to find words as images of what might happen flooded her mind. She saw Jane bend over her lifeless body, she saw the devastation in his eyes. She knew deep down, that he wouldn't have the strength to do it again, not a second time, not after everything that had happened. Panic overcame her and suddenly she couldn't breathe. Her vision blurred as she gasped for air; in vain. She only just could make out the outline of Volker in front of her, she could hear his voice, but the words didn't reach her ears any longer. The shawl bit into her throat and slowly darkness engulfed her, blocking everything out until there was nothing left but fear.

And then suddenly air rushed back into her lungs and she felt to the floor.

Volker's voice was the first sound she heard; cold and diabolic.

"You didn't think I'd make it that easy for you?" The words broke through the haze in her mind. Lisbon closed her eyes, a single tear escaping them. She would die; she was sure of it. He would torment her, again and again and in the end he would kill her - and with her, he would destroy Jane.

* * *

Two minutes after the meeting had begun, Jane already regretted thad he'd agreed to stay. He could be on his way to Lisbon right now, and instead he was sitting in Abbott's office, listening to Carlson, Cho and Abbott discuss the accident from the day before. He'd never liked Carlson, he just couldn't forget that the man had investigated against Lisbon in the beginning. And he was annoyed by the inquiries after his health, even though he could understand why people felt obliged to do so after a car crash.

"What new developments did you came here to discuss?" Jane interrupted Carlson quite rudely after a few more minutes of - in his opinion - pointless chatter. He couldn't stand another round of talking about the accident, or his interview with Bloom. The interview he and Cho had been conducting, which meant he saw no point whatsoever in going over it again with Carlson; it clearly wouldn't add anything new. Jane was surprised how stoic Cho had endured all of this so far, but then…it was Cho after all.

Carlson blinked in confusion at being interrupted mid-sentence. "Ah…" Jane felt pleased with himself for having rattled him, at least until he noted Abbott's stare. He sighed, trying not to ruffle any more feathers. "I was wondering what brought you here," he added in a friendlier tone, "is there anything we should know?"

"Ah yes," Carlson said after he collected his thoughts again. "I wanted to discuss the next steps. I was surprised you didn't contact us, to be honest. I'd thought Agent Lisbon would be back at her desk already and that we just needed to sort out the formalities."

Jane frowned at him, confused. "What are you talking about?"

Carlson shrugged. "Well, with Volker dead, there's no reason for her not to work. I called off the protective detail tailing her just this mornin-"

"You did what?" Jane had stood up.

"What do you mean, Volker's dead," Abbott asked, incredulously. Now Carlson was the one to look utterly surprised. "But surely you must know…did they not inform…," he stopped himself as he noted the impatience on their faces. "Volker died yesterday morning. A prison brawl. I think a blunt force trauma to the head was determined as cause of death."

Jane shook his head, starting to pace up and down the room. "He's not dead, he can't be." He stopped. "Why proceed with the attack on me and Cho yesterday, when he was already dead by then?"

"I guess he planned this beforehand…" Carlson suggested, "if it was him at all."

"We need to see the body," Cho stated calmly, "it's the only way to be sure."

"That won't be possible. With no relatives or friends to claim his body; they cremated him yesterday evening."

Jane pinched the bridge of his nose. Volker wasn't dead…it just couldn't be, it would be too much of a coincidence and then slowly a horribly suspicion grew in him.

"He isn't dead," Jane said slowly and with no hint of doubt in his words, "He faked his death to break out of prison." What better plan was there? It would allow him to walk free without risking prosecution. He would leave the country and it would be the last they ever saw of him…but before that, he had to finish something. Jane felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. How could he have been so blind? The accident, the interrogation with Bloom, the fact that he only had begun talking when he had turned up, Bloom's panic as he'd wanted to leave early…it all had been part of a plan to keep him away from Lisbon. It all had been a trick.

"Lisbon!" He only said one word, but he knew that Cho and Abbott understood him immediately.

"We take my car" Cho said, walking out of the aquarium, Jane at his feet. He heard Abbott calling dispatch in the back. Cho gripped his kevlar vest, throwing one at Jane.

"We'll be there in time," he said and Jane looked up at his friend. The horror on his face must have been obvious, because Cho felt obliged to add "We don't even know for sure that she's in imminent danger."

Jane just nodded, but he didn't believe it for a second and he knew neither did Cho. Volker had her, he was sure of it. Without even realising it, he'd pulled his phone out of his pocket. He didn't intend to call her, it would only alert Volker that they started to suspect something was amiss. Calling her would be like signing her death sentence. Jane reread the last message he'd received from her as they hurried to the car and it confirmed his worst suspicions. He should have realised it right away. Lisbon never told him that she loved him; not once. Nothing in the world would have made her send those words in a text like this. He swallowed, tears blurring his vision for a moment. He should have seen it; it was all his fault.

* * *

Lisbon swayed as she was pulled back onto her knees. Her lungs were burning and she gasped for air. Three times he'd strangled her until she almost blacked out, only to release her the last moment. Three times her body had screamed for air, fought to stay alive and three times she'd been convinced to die, to leave her brothers, her friends and most all to leave Jane behind.

She braced herself for the next time, half hoping that it finally would be the last. She didn't know how many more she could bear. Tears wetted her cheeks; she wasn't sure whether it was a reaction of her body to the lack of oxygen or her emotions overflowing - she didn't care any longer. The seconds past and to her surprise, Volker didn't give the sign to start the horror again, instead he watched her gleefully. She was still gasping for air, unable to form words, but a new wave of anger filled her, even though moments ago she'd thought unable to muster anything but desperation. Her throat hurt as if on fire and her muscles felt tense, making it difficult to get enough air, even with the shawl now hanging loosely around her neck.

"How does it feel to lose?" Volker asked her, the excitement in his voice impossible to miss. Her own voice was hoarse and each word more painful then the one before, but it didn't stop her from replying, "I wouldn't know."

He hit her - hard. She tasted blood as her lip split.

"Now we're even," Volker whispered and Lisbon remembered how she'd punched him during the arrest. He seemed even more excited now, seeing her suffer seemed to thrill him.

She turned her head away, disgusted by the arousal she read in his eyes. That's when she saw it - the pen. A simple pencil, the one Jane had planned to use in the morning. It lay on the floor, only inches from where she was. If only her hands were free…

"You lost and you'll pay with your life," Volker said. "But you were a worthy enemy, I respect you for that." Lisbon looked up at him. "Respect?" She would have laughed if her throat had allowed it. Torturing her again and again, was that the respect he was talking about?

He just smiled at her. "Generously, I'll grant you one last wish," he said, "I'll give you the chance to say goodbye in your own words, to record a message. Five seconds is all you get and don't even think about saying anything about me, or the way you're dying. I would delete it immediately. Use it wisely, it will be the last the word ever hears from Teresa Lisbon."

He reached for her phone and Lisbon followed his every movement with her eyes. It was ridiculous, he probably would delete it anyhow, but the idea of being able to say a few last words to Jane…Her vision blurred again and this time the tears had nothing to do with oxygen or lack thereof. She still hadn't told him that she loved him and she needed him to know. And maybe, she blinked the tears away, maybe she'd even be able to help him get through this, maybe her words would give him the strength to live on without her - for her sake.

"I have one condition, though," Volker said and Lisbon felt as if someone had poured ice cold water over her. She should have known.

"Just one small thing…I want you to admit that I won. I want you to declare defeat, to admit that I've beaten you, once and for all."

Lisbon glared at him, anger rushing through her. It was a game for him, nothing but a game. It wasn't enough for him to kill her, he wanted to humiliate her, to take every last bit of her dignity before he murdered her.

"Go to hell," she said and regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. It was her last chance to get trough to Jane, could she really throw that away?

"Are you sure?" Volker asked, "It's up to you. Say the words and I press record…or leave it and die." He grinned, as if amused by his own words. "I mean you'll die anyway, no question about that, but one way you'll leave something behind"

Lisbon bit her lip, biting back a sob. Could she let her pride take away the last chance for Jane to hear how she felt, to hear her voice one last time, even after she was gone?

* * *

The siren was loud as the car raced through the streets of Austin. Not nearly fast enough for Jane though. It couldn't happen, not again, not now that they finally found each other. Cho said something, but Jane only barely registered that he spoke and payed no attention to the words or the fact that the siren had stopped. He never should have left her alone, never - "Jane!"

This time he looked up, only to see that they had reached her street. A police car stopped in front of them and two officers jumped out. Jane opened the door.

"You stay in here!" Cho shouted, before he joined the officers, his weapon drawn. Jane opened his seatbelt, never taking his eyes of the house. He believed to see movement behind the window of Lisbon's living room, but before he could alert Cho, or do anything at all, a shattering noise cut through the air and someone or something broke through the window, spreading glass shards everywhere.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thanks a lot for your reviews to my last chapter and that you're still reading my story; it means a lot to me. I know the story overstayed it's welcome and I again apologise for the infrequent updates. There's about two chapters left after this one, so the end is near. I also apologise for the chapter. I struggled with it for a long time; I think big showdowns don't really suit me. I tried my best, but I'm afraid that's not much in this case. It's frustrating, because I knew how this scene would unfold since I started this story, but I still didn't manage to get in on paper the way I wanted to.


	29. It's over

**It's over**

 _A few minutes earlier…_

Lisbon kept her eyes closed, trying to focus on the darkness, the calmness that came with it and not on what was happening around her. The panic slowly faded again, now that her lungs filled with air and if only for a short moment, her body had a chance to recover. Then everything would begin again, probably for the last time. Lisbon opened her eyes, as the sound of voices broke through the haze in her mind. She'd been convinced that he would kill her this time, now that he'd gotten everything he'd wanted from her - but no; she was still alive.

Lisbon blinked again as the words slowly started to make sense. They were arguing.

"That's not what we agreed on. I said I'd kill her, not this. Torture was never part of the deal."

It was the police officer that apparently had found his conscience, or a shred of humanity.

"You don't make the conditions, here." Volker sounded dangerously angry. Lisbon would have taunted him again if she had found the strength to speak, but she had difficulties enough to breathe.

"I can't do this any longer. Let me kill her and end this."

With each passing second Lisbon felt more like herself again. She focused on the pain to further sharpen her mind. For the first time both men were distracted, the gun loosely in Volker's hand, pointing at the floor rather than her. Despite her whole body aching and screaming for rest, Lisbon wasn't ready yet to give up. She rolled onto her back, grimacing as her lungs protested.

Volker looked down at her, but apparently didn't deem her a threat, because he focused on his helper again. Lisbon stretched her arms until she could feel the pencil underneath her. Her fingers closed around it, the wood cool against her skin.

"Fine," Volker said after a moment. "We're running out of time anyhow. How long will it take to prepare everything afterwards? Remember, it has to look like a suicide."

"Five minutes, tops." The officer sounded relieved. Lisbon closed her eyes again, very aware of the pencil in her fist. A wrong move from her and Volker would shoot her, she had no doubts about that, but then…she rather died by a bullet, trying to defend herself, than being strangled another time. She didn't protest as the officer pulled her up on her knees again, instead she tried to seem as limb as possible, while she focused on Volker. The weapon was still in his hands, but she could see that his finger wasn't at the trigger and the barrel pointed downwards. She would never get a better chance.

She slammed the pencil backwards full force and it almost broke as it made contact with her captor's shin. She felt the impact in her whole arm, up to her shoulders and the pencil fell out of her hands. The officer let go of her and screamed in surprise, or pain - she didn't care. Lisbon pushed herself to her feet, forcing her body to move even though her muscles protested. She slammed headfirst into Volker, knocking him of his feet before he could pull the trigger. They both fell backwards against the window of her living room. The glass yielded under the impact, shattering into thousand pieces as they fell through onto her front yard.

Lisbon saw Volker reach for the gun that had flown out of his hand; her own arms still tied behind her back, she could do nothing but try to crawl away from him. Her ears were ringing and she could hear shouting now. Voices of several people and then, louder than the rest, a familiar voice that yelled, "Don't move!"

Volker picked up the gun and whirled around, pointing it at her. A single shot rung through the air, reverberating in every fiber of her body. She waited for the pain, for the world to fade around her, but seconds passed and nothing happened. She was still alive, still panting for air. Only when Volker collapsed in front of her, the realisation hit her. She turned her head and saw Cho, his gun smoking.

"Get away from him," Cho called, his gun still trained on Volker. There was no need to move. Lisbon stared at the man that had cost her so much. A red stain was rapidly expanding on his chest, he hadn't even lifted his arms in an attempt to stop the bleeding. His eyes found hers, disbelief and fear was all she could see as the last bit of light left him.

"You lose," Lisbon whispered as he took his last breath. Cho approached Volker and kicked his gun away, before he knelt down and looking for a pulse he wouldn't find. Lisbon closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and as she opened them again, Cho was at her side.

"Are you injured?" She shook her head, still not trusting her voice. Cho cut through the zip tie and Lisbon pushed herself up in a sitting position; angry red lines marking her wrists.

"I'm okay," she finally croaked. She threw another glance at Volker, his eyes empty and lifeless now. "It's over."

The words weren't directed at Cho or anyone else. Two police officers led Volker's helper through the door; he refused to look at her and somehow Lisbon was glad about it. She tried to get up and with the help of Cho, she managed to stand on her feet again. He didn't let go of her completely, one hand on her arm as if he feared she might collapse any moment.

"You should sit back down, the ambulance will be here soon," A worried expression was on his face. Lisbon shook her head, "Where is he?" she swallowed, still struggling to speak, "Where's Jane?"

Cho didn't say anything but looked at the cars. She followed the direction of his gaze and her heart skipped a beat as she saw him. He was not moving, just stood there, looking at her as if he couldn't believe what he saw.

Lisbon shook of Cho's hand on her arm and walked over to Jane. Her legs felt weak, but her step was surprisingly steady.

She stopped inches from him; he still seemed rooted to the spot.

"Hey," she said, her voice still hoarse. Jane swallowed, "Hey." He sounded not much better than her. His hands were trembling and from close up he was alarmingly pale. He was clearly in shock.

"I'm fine, Jane" Lisbon said, before he even could ask. She needed him to understand that. "I'm okay, it's over."

He just nodded. She saw his hands twitching, as if he longed to touch her but feared she might disappear the moment he reached for her, as if she was merely an imagination of his mind.

Lisbon didn't care that they were surrounded by police, or that she needed to be mindful of her injuries; she threw her arms around him and hugged him fiercely, burying her face in his neck. She needed to be close to him now and she could feel that he equally needed her. His whole body was shaking as he hugged her in turn.

* * *

Jane took deep and long breaths, willing his mind and body to calm down. He focused on her warm and living body, on the way her chest expanded against his with each breath she took, on her scent that filled his nose each time he inhaled. She was alive and she was safe.

Her warmth seemed to seep through him and dispel the coldness that had paralysed him, finally allowing him to think clearly again. He moved back ever so slightly, so that he could look at her. She looked beyond exhausted - angry red welts marked her neck and her lip was split. Jane had to fight back tears, as he looked into her bloodshot eyes, that despite everything were alert and full of strength. He could only imagine what she'd gone through. He framed her face very gently with his hands. "We need to get you to the hospital," he said softly.

"I told you, I'm fine." He saw a hint of irritation in her eyes at the prospect of needing an ambulance. Even though she had to know, that there was no way around it. She needed to be examined. For nothing in the world, he would risk her health now, not even given his opinion about doctors in general.

Ironically her reaction made him feel better though, seeing so typical for her. The paramedics arrived that moment and with a bit of encouragement from him, they managed to convince her to lay down.

"Do you have difficulties breathing?"

She rolled her eyes and this time Jane couldn't hold back a faint smile. The paramedic looked slightly taken a back, but he quickly recovered.

"We need to know what exactly happened, did you lose consciousness?"

"No," Her voice was muffled through the oxygen mask they'd given her. Her eyes searched his even though she spoke to the paramedics. Jane nodded almost imperceptible, encouraging her to elaborate, even though part of him feared what he might hear now.

As she told them that they'd brought her to the brink of death again and again, he reached for her her hand - for her but also for his sake. She looked at him again, as the paramedics took her blood pressure and then announced that they wanted to take her to the hospital for a few tests.

"I'll go with her," Jane informed them, never taking his eyes off her.

"You can't travel in the ambulance…" - "He has to." Jane turned around, surprised to find Abbott at his side.

"For her own safety, I have to insist that an Agent stays with her at all times. At least until we know that there's no imminent danger any longer."

The paramedic looked at Jane skeptically and he couldn't blame him for it. He didn't look exactly as if he was in any state to protect Lisbon.

"I'm afraid I have to insist," Abbott repeated himself, this time with more conviction and the paramedic gave in.

"Fine."

Jane murmured a word of thank to Abbott, but his boss had moved his attention to Lisbon. She pulled the oxygen mask down before he could say anything to her. "You have to check the prison, he had to have someone in there to fake his death."

"Let us worry about that, Lisbon." Abbott said firmly, but compassionately. "We have it covered. I want you to focus on getting better, now."

"How many times do I have to tell people that I'm fin-" One of the paramedics put the oxygen mask back on her face, cutting her off mid sentence. "You should try not to talk," he motioned Jane to get in, while he continued to talk to an astonished Lisbon, "Speaking could increase the swelling and we don't want that. Believe me, the last thing you want is that we have to intubate you."

"Take care," Abbott told her, or rather both of them, as the paramedics lifted the gurney into the ambulance. Lisbon still seemed shocked by the way the paramedic had addressed her and at least for the moment, she didn't attempt to speak. Jane looked at the man - the name tag denoting him as Robert Taylor - and raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"I'm ex marine, I've had my fair share of patients that didn't know what's in their best interest and learned how to deal with them. Take a seat and put your seatbelt on."

Jane chuckled as he followed the order, for a short moment he felt almost normal, the stress and horror of the day forgotten. It didn't take long for the reality to catch up again, though. Lisbon had closed her eyes, looking much more vulnerable now lying on the gurney with the oxygen mask on her face, than she had before. Jane carefully took her hand into his. He saw a weariness in her eyes as she opened them to look at him, making him tighten his grip. It seemed the more he and the paramedics around her took control, the more she allowed herself to acknowledge her condition.

"Try to rest," he told her softly. "You know how doctors are, you'll need all your strength in the hospital."

He saw the hint of a smile in Lisbon's eyes, which was more than worth the angry looks thrown at him by the paramedic that had joined them in the back.

* * *

Lisbon went through the list again, for the umpteenth time. She'd coaxed one of the nurses into printing the e-mails Wylie had sent her, but after half an hour of going over the same files again and again, she had to acknowledge that it was a rather fruitless effort. With no access to the FBI database…or even the internet, not counting the crappy Wifi on Jane's phone…there wasn't much she could do.

She looked up, only to see that Jane was watching her. She knew he didn't approve that she'd thrown herself into work the moment they'd finished the tests and brought her into a room.

"Anything useful?" he asked. Lisbon shook her head slightly, trying not to move too much.

"No, not really." She put the papers to the side, looking for a glass of water. She hadn't even opened her mouth to ask for it, when Jane was holding it out to her.

"Thank you." Her voice was still hoarse, but already a lot better than a few hours ago. The cold water felt good and Lisbon closed her eyes for a moment. She felt incredibly tired, but every time she tried to sleep or rest her thoughts, uninvited pictures filled her mind. The work helped to keep them away and that's why she kept going, even though her body screamed for sleep. Jane probably suspected as much, which would explain why he hadn't said anything or tried to talk her out of if, not even once. He'd even gone as far as to offer her to try and organise a laptop. The idea of having him leave the room, and if only for a few minutes, had scared her more than she'd dared to say. Something else she feared he might have realised, because he hadn't suggested to leave again.

"How's the pain?" he asked softly, as she handed him the glass back.

"Not too bad." It wasn't even a lie. Her whole throat and neck felt sore and she sensed the beginning of a headache, but all in all she'd expected a lot worse.

They both turned around as someone knocked at the door and a second later, Cho stepped inside.

"Hey," He placed a bag onto the floor beside her bed.

"How are you feeling?"

Lisbon bit back a sigh; she needed to get used to the question, she probably would hear it a few more times over the next days. She quickly updated Cho about her status, or rather about how she felt. She hadn't yet heard back from the doctors...which as Jane had pointed out earlier, likely was a good sign. Had the tests revealed a life-threatening condition, doctors would have rushed into her room hours ago. Being low on a doctors priority list was a good sign when it came to her health.

"I've brought you the spare set of clothes from the office - in case they ever let you out of here again." Cho rummaged in a second bag, taking out a small zip lock bag. "And they've released your phone from evidence."

He handed the bag to her. Lisbon hesitated, her heart beating faster. She hadn't expected to get it back that quickly; she wasn't even sure whether she wanted it back at all. From the corners of her eyes she noted how Jane frowned.

"Thank you," Lisbon said, glad that her still bruised voice didn't carry any emotions. She put the phone on her bedside table, feeling strangely relieved that it was out of her hands again.

"How's the investigation, going? Did you get anything from Sloane?"

With Volker dead, his enforcer was their biggest chance at learning more about his other associates.

"No," Cho sat down on one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. "Not due to lack of cooperation on his side, though. He talked right away, but it seems Volker didn't share very much with him - as expected."

"Yeah," Lisbon said, slightly disappointed, even though she indeed had expected it.

"We don't need him," Jane sounded surprisingly confident. "As soon as all of this hits the media, people will contact us."

"Media?" Lisbon sat up straight. "What do you mean, when it hits the media?"

"You should try not to speak too much, Lisbon," Jane reminded her soothingly, and then adding with a smile. "And no excitement, remember?"

Funny, as if she could control her emotions, she wasn't the one with the biofeedback tricks.

"What I'm trying to say, is, "Jane continued, ignoring the way she glared at him, "that not everyone involved will have realised what a monster Volker truly is. He can be quite charming and talking of murder or revenge doesn't help getting people to assist you, believe me, I speak from personal experience. I'm sure the moment the true nature of his actions is revealed, some of his former associates will come to us to ease their conscience."

There was a certain truth to his words and Lisbon had learned a long time ago, that it was better not to fight Jane when it came to his intuitions.

"We'll see," Cho said, "I hope you're right. Would make things easier." He noticed all the papers on Lisbon's bed and raised his eyebrows questioningly. "What's that?"

"I just had a short look," Lisbon said defensively.

"For Wylie's sake, I hope Abbott never finds out about this."

Jane chuckled, as Lisbon gathered the printouts and placed them upside down on her bedside table. It came with the added bonus, that they now hid her phone from sight.

"Happy, now?"

The corners of Cho's mouth twitched upwards."Okay, I didn't see anything."

Another knock at the door could be heard and her doctor came in. The young woman smiled at Lisbon, which made her feel a lot better instantly. Despite all her attempts at convincing herself that she was fine, a tiny part of her still had been worried.

"Miss Lisbon, " The young doctor greeted her and the two men in the room, before she consulted her notes.

"I've got your results here, and it's good news."

Jane stood up and walked over to her bed.

"There was no damage to your blood vessels or trachea and no indications for any brain injuries." She looked up from her notes. "You were very lucky. All in all, apart from the swelling and cramps in your neck muscles you're perfectly healthy. It all should heal quickly over the next few days and until then, we'll give you some meds to help ease the pain."

"That's great," Jane said, sounding as relieved as she felt.

"Does this mean I can go home?" Lisbon asked hopefully. For the first time the young doctor hesitated; she clearly hadn't expected that question. "In principle, yes...from a health's perspective there's nothing requiring you to stay. It's just, after what happened I would recommend that you talk to someone first. Such experiences can be very traumatic..."

"No," Lisbon said immediately, when she realised what the young woman was referring to.

"We have a very nice Psychologist in the hospital and he surely would find time..."

"That won't be necessary, "Lisbon said more firmly. She knew that she would have to face at least one session with the FBI's psychologist if she wanted to get back to work, that would be bad enough, no need to do it a second time.

"But-"

This time Jane interrupted the doctor. "She said no," he spoke friendly, but leaving no doubt that the topic was off the table. Lisbon felt a wave of gratitude towards him.

"Well then," the doctor seemed momentarily confused after this - it seemed for her - unexpected turn of events. "I tell them to prepare your discharge paper and send them to you as soon as they're ready."

"Thank you," Lisbon said, trying to sound especially polite to make up for her earlier reaction. Well, sounding as polite as her croaky voice would allow.

Cho had stayed quiet, while the doctor was in the room, but the moment she left, he got up himself. "I think it's time for me to head back to the office."

"Thank you again, for calling on me." Lisbon said with smile. Cho shrugged, "It's the least I could do."

Lisbon blinked in surprise, as Jane stepped up to Cho and hugged him. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice unusually emotional, "for everything."

Cho just nodded as they broke apart and then left the room. Jane stared after him for a moment, before he visibly pulled himself together and turned back towards her. He cleared his throat. "Well, you better get changed if you want to leave any time soon."

He obviously didn't want to talk about what just had happened, and Lisbon respected his wish, the same way he hadn't pressed her to talk. They both knew that Jane hadn't thanked their friend for visiting, it had been for saving her life.

Lisbon pushed those thoughts away, focusing on the present.

"Yes, you're probably right. And I can't wait to get out of her." She threw the blanket back and got up. That's when she remembered that they hadn't actually talked about where they would go. He seemed to sense her hesitation and correctly guess her concerns.

"We could book a hotel?" He suggested, but the idea of sleeping in a place she didn't know for some reason made her feel uneasy.

"How about the Airstream instead?" There wasn't much space, and she would have no chance to avoid him there, but she needed to go someplace she felt at home. Someplace that wasn't a crime scene or associated with the horrors of the day.

"Okay, "Jane said softly, "Let's go to the Airstream."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews and for not having given up on my story. I guess I'll need one more chapter to have them deal with the emotional aftermath and to wrap up everything and then maybe a short epilogue after that.


	30. Calm waters

**A/N:** I know I said this would be the last chapter, but turns out it isn't. I could have posted either one really long last chapter, or two instead and I opted for the later; I hope you don't mind. One reason for my decision is that I don't really like this half of the chapter and the longer I don't publish it, the more I change it again and again (as I did the last week)..and I don't feel it makes it any better rather the opposite. So there you go...as usual, feel free to tell me what you think in the form of a review. Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

* * *

 **Calm waters**

Jane held the door of the Airstream open for her as they finally made it there. It had been almost ten pm when they had left the hospital. Lisbon felt a sense of calm as she stepped into the familiar trailer. It had only been two days since she'd been there, but somehow it felt a lot longer.

"Sit down" Jane ordered her, "I'll prepare you a late diner."

She rolled her eyes, but didn't protest. Jane had insisted on stopping at a 7-Eleven on their way home; on doctors orders, as he reminded her when she tried to talk him out of it. He was right, they had encouraged her to eat and drink something and she knew that she should be hungry after having eaten nothing since breakfast. Part of her maybe even was, but swallowing was painful and if she was honest, she just wanted to try and sleep. Not eat, or talk, or think; just sleep...not that it would be that easy. She had the nagging feeling that the moment she tried to fall asleep, her mind would flood her with all the images and thoughts she was trying so hard to keep away. And should she against all expectations manage to fall asleep quickly, the memories surely would haunt her in her dreams. She shuddered at that thought and sleep suddenly seemed a lot less desirable than it had a few minutes ago.

Jane sat down beside her, handing her a large milkshake. It tasted delicious but she had to force herself to gulp it down and after about half of it, the pain was becoming too much. Jane took the mug out of her hands. She hadn't even said anything, but her pain must have been obvious. A moment later he was back at her side, this time with a glass of water and a dose of the painkiller she'd been prescribed. She eyed them wearily. They probably would be of the rather potent kind...and those tended to make her all foggy headed and that was the last thing she wanted after that day. Too similar was it to the dizziness the lack of oxygen had caused in her thoughts earlier; again and again.

"Lisbon?" Jane sounded worried, and she only then realised that she'd stared at the tablets for almost a minute, without showing any intention of taking them.

"The pain isn't too bad." She didn't look at him as she spoke. To distract him, she at least took the offered glass of water and took a careful sip, even though her muscles protested.

"You'll regret this in the morning," he warned her. Lisbon sighed in resignation and snatched the tablet out of his hand and used the rest of the water to wash it down.

"Happy now?" She asked him, handing him the glass back. He grinned at her. "Very much."

Jane got up and placed the glass onto the counter. He leaned against it,his eyes still on her. "You should try to get some sleep," he said softly.

Lisbon nodded, she knew that he was right.

She didn't have anything to sleep in, so Jane gave her one of his old shirts. She took a long shower and changed into the shirt and a pair of Jane's boxers. Wearing his clothes somehow felt strangely comforting. Jane had prepared the bed while she'd been showering and Lisbon got under the covers and closed her eyes. The moment she lied down, the images started to appear. She shuddered, even though it was warm in the Airstream. She felt more and more agitated and she was seconds away from getting up, when Jane joined her under the covers.

His body was warm as he pulled her against him. Lisbon took a deep, shaky breath and gripped the arm he'd put around her waist; she felt the splint he was still wearing under her fingers.

"Try to sleep," he whispered and pressed very tender kiss to her neck.

"I'll try." If only it was that easy. But she knew that Jane of all people understood; he himself had struggled with sleep for years.

She felt him tense slightly and it made her a tiny bit worried about what he might say next.

"I could help you.." his voice trailed off and she could hear the apprehension in it, he probably feared she would kick him out of bed for merely suggesting it.

She chuckled, but shook her head. "No hypnosis." She wasn't that desperate - yet.

"Okay." He hesitated again, which wasn't a good sign and a new sense of uneasiness crept back.

"What?" Lisbon asked warily.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Her first impulse was to say no, but she refrained from doing so. No, she didn't want to talk about it, the idea alone made her feel sick. She closed her eyes; her heart started beating faster when she only thought about it. It didn't change the fact, though, that there were things she needed to tell him.

"It's okay," he said softly, "you don't have to."

She bit her lip, turning around to look at him, "What about you, do you want to talk about it?" This wasn't only about her. She'd seen how it had affected him, how it still affected him.

He shook his head. "I want whatever it's best for you."

She could hear the strain in his voice, even though he tried to pretend that everything was alright.

"We can talk about it, or we can do it later. I'm fine either way."

He was so good in reading her emotions, it sometimes made her forget how much he himself struggled with expressing his feelings. It was this realisation that helped her to find the courage to face her fears. She sat up, rubbing her hand against her forehead.

"Lisbon?" Jane propped himself on his elbows; she could feel his eyes on her.

"There are some things we need to talk about." She said, averting her eyes. "I don't think I'll manage to sleep otherwise."

She'd faced her own death and that moment the feeling of regret had been overpowering, the pain of knowing that she would die without ever having told him had consumed her. How on earth could she fall back into old patterns that quickly, pushing it back again, avoiding it again? She lifted her eyes to his. He deserved to hear it; she wanted him to hear it. But before she could say it to him, she needed to open up about the one thing that hadn't made it into her police statement.

She threw the blanket back.

"Not here, though. Can we go for a walk?"

"Now?" He looked out of the window - it was almost midnight and dark outside.

Lisbon nodded. "Yes, I need a bit of fresh air." She hated the almost pleading tone in her voice, but she couldn't talk about this in here. She would need to mention things she never wanted to think about again, let alone speak about and it almost felt as if mentioning them in here, would taint the airstream a place she associated with safety and happiness.

* * *

It was a mild night and not as dark as Jane had initially feared. They'd made an odd picture - if someone would cross path with them, which was rather unlikely given the time and place. Lisbon had put on her jeans, but she was still wearing his shirt and he hadn't bothered changing at all.

He watched her silently as they walked through the night; she hadn't spoken since they'd left the airstream, her right hand closed tightly around something he suspected to be her phone. They reached the small lake and Lisbon stopped at the shore, staring out over the water. Jane joined her, his hand brushing against hers. The water was calm, not at all reflecting the state of his mind.

Lisbon's breathing had quickened, but she still did not speak.

After a moment Jane couldn't bear the silence any longer. "Teresa?"

She threw a short glance at him and he longed to reach for her, as he saw the strain in her eyes. But he suspected that it would only make it more difficult for her to open up.

"I-" She stopped herself, her eyes now cast downwards. He followed her gaze; her knuckles were white because she gripped her phone so tightly. Jane was half worried she might break it.

She took a deep breath before she finally spoke. "He gave me the chance to say goodbye."

Jane tensed, his heartbeat hammering loudly in his ears.

"He did what?" That couldn't be, Volker would never have...

"He let me say goodbye..." she hesitated, "if I admitted that he won." She spoke very quietly now, looking everywhere but at him and that's when he understood. Volker had tried to break her, he'd wanted her to beg, he'd wanted her to declare defeat...and all in exchange for a last few words. He swallowed, his throat feeling very tight. A last few words for him.

He almost didn't understand what she said next, her voice barely more than a whisper. "And I did it." Jane's heart broke at the pain in her voice. "I did everything he wanted me to."

"Hey," he gently lifted her chin, so that she had to look at him.

He saw the shame in her eyes as she tried to turn away, but he didn't let her.

"I know you did it for me," he told her, his voice not as steady as he'd hoped. "Thank you."

She hold her phone out to him and now he was the one only staring at it.

"It's for you," she said. His hands were shaking as he reached for it. She'd opened the voice message; all he had to do was press play. His finger was hovering over the button.

He looked up at her, the blood rushing in his ears. "Do...do you want me to listen to it?"

She didn't reply immediately. Jane felt sick all of a sudden, small droplets of cold sweat appearing on his forehead. Did he want to hear the message? Would he be strong enough to listen to what she'd thought at the time, to be her last words ever directed at him? His hands were shaking so heavily now, that he almost dropped the phone.

"No."

His heart was racing and it took him a moment to process what she'd said.

"I don't want you to hear it."

She looked him in the eyes and a wave of gratitude washed over him. He took a long and shaky breath, closing his eyes for a moment with relief.

"I don't want you do hear it like this, over a voice message." Her voice was steady now and she didn't evade his gaze as he opened his eyes again.

"I'll delete the recording." She hold her hand out to him, but he didn't give her the phone back. For a short moment, he tightened his grip around it and then, without a warning, he tossed it into the lake.

"Jane!" Her yell echoed loudly through the otherwise quiet night - surprisingly loud considering the state of her voice. He just shrugged in response as she looked at him in disbelief. He felt a new sense of calm with the message lost forever.

"You wanted the recording gone, didn't you?"

"Well - not like this." She shook her head at him and then started to laugh. "God Jane, you're impossible."

He grinned apologetically. "Do you want me to fish it out again?" He wasn't particularly keen on getting into the water, especially not at night, but he wouldn't refuse her anything that evening.

"God, no." She was still laughing, but there was a hint of desperation to it. She was exhausted, physically and even more emotionally...it all was becoming too much for her.

Jane drew her to his chest, as the laughter turned into sobs. Tears filled his own eyes as she broke apart in his arms.

"It's over," he whispered soothingly, pressing a gentle kiss into her hair.

Her sobs quickly subdued, but he didn't let go of her and for a while she made no attempts to pull back either. In the end, it was her though, who drew back slightly, so that she could look at him. She very gently brushed a tear of his cheek, a tear he hadn't even realised he'd shed.

Her eyes were transfixed on his and he hold his breath in anticipation of what was about to happen.

"I love you, Jane"

It felt as if his heart stopped for a moment, together with the rest of the world. He'd known it, of course he'd known it but hearing her say it... hearing those three simple words.

He pulled her back against him, completely overwhelmed. "I love you too", he whispered, his voice shaking with emotion.

"I should have said it a long time ago, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Teresa."

She pushed him back, frowning at him. "Of course it does. I almost died and all I could think about was that I never told you."

He closed his eyes for a moment, the thought of what could have been almost suffocating him. Replaying the last message on her phone again and again…having lost her forever, that's how his night could have look like instead.

The feeling of her hands on his chest snapped him out of his nightmares. She was here, she was alive - they both were alive.

"You told me now," he whispered hoarsely, "that's all I need."

He kissed her very gently before she could protest again, treading the finger of his uninjured hand through her hair to draw her even closer.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," she murmured against his lips. He just smiled, before he captured her lips once again, careful not hurt her.

Lisbon kept her eyes closed, when they finally broke apart.

"We should go back," Jane said, running his hands down her arms and encircling her wrists."You need to sleep." And so did he.

"Yes," she opened her eyes but did not make any attempts to move. He gently tucked at her arm until she gave in and made a first step. He could sense, that she wasn't to keen on sleep. She was afraid of what horrors her unconsciousness might throw at her when she was vulnerable during sleep. As much as he hated it, he couldn't protect her from it, but he could make sure that she wasn't alone when she woke up. And he could distract her beforehand, something he was particularly good at.

"Unless, of course, there's something else you would like to talk about?"

"God, no." She shuddered. "All this emotional talking is exhausting. I don't get it how people can do this all the time."

Jane chuckled; he just couldn't resist the temptation. He stopped and waited until she faced him, her right hand still in his. He was dead serious now. "Talking with you about this...it meant a lot to me, it still means a lot to me."

He could feel how her pulse quickened at his words and her hand tightened around his. He licked his lips, never taking his eyes of hers.

She almost choked on her reply, "It...it means a lot to me, too. I didn't mean..."

He grinned at her and her eyes went wide as she realised he'd tricked her. She hit him on the chest.

"Stop it, that's not funny."

"I don't know," he said teasingly, "You're getting pretty good at this emotional stuff."

She just shook her head at him and started to walk again. Jane hurried to keep up with her. He saw the hint of a smile on her face and knew that she wasn't angry at him for his little stunt. Nevertheless, he suddenly felt the need to clarify something.

"It's the truth, though. It did mean a lot to me." The teasing tone had disappeared from his voice and he took her hand in his again, before he continued. "Thank you for sharing all of this with me." He knew it hadn't been easy for her and she didn't have to. There would have been no way for him or anyone else for that matter, to ever learn what exactly had happened between her and Volker. Unless of course, Sloane would have decided to talk, but that seemed rather unlikely. In short, she could have kept this to herself, deleted the message and never let him know; but she hadn't. Instead she had chosen to tell him. It did mean a lot to him, more than he could say. Something in his expression must have given away how touched he was by it, because he saw how it moved her in turn.

"Oh hush," she elbowed him in the ribs, while trying to wipe a few stray tears away without him seeing it - and failing miserably in doing so.

"I don't want any more of this today."

He smiled at her and put his arm around her shoulder. "Okay, I'll try to keep my emotions at bay - for now."

He pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

They didn't talk much as they reached the airstream and got ready for bed - a second time. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, rather a calmness born out of the deep connection he felt between them that moment, which made words unnecessary. It almost seemed as if something had changed between them, as if a last barrier, one he hadn't even realised being there, finally had broken away when she told him she loved him.

He hold her close as they lay in the darkness of the airstream and listened to her slow and steady breathing. Despite everything, it had taken her only a few minutes to fall asleep in his arms.

He closed his eyes, marvelling at how lucky he was to be here - with her. For the first time sine he'd returned from his exile, there was nothing in his - or rather their future he feared.


	31. Being back

**A/N:** And there it is, the last proper chapter. I'll post a short epilogue within the next few days, but that's it more or less. Again, thank you so much for all your reviews to the last chapter. I'm sorry I didn't reply to you individually, I'll try to do better this time.

As usual, reviews are very much appreciated, also the ones including constructive criticism. Don't hold back if you didn't like certain aspects (or all of it).

* * *

 **Being back**

Lisbon closed her bag and carried it back into the living room. Jane was standing close to the door, seemingly deep in thoughts. She followed his gaze. Police tape closed off part of her living room. It almost seemed surreal; a yellow tape and a broken window, that were the only remnants of what had happened. Surprisingly, it had been easier to come back than she'd thought. Jane had offered her to go and get some of her things on his own, but she'd insisted on going with him - and she was glad she had. Being back somehow put things into perspective - this might be the room where it had happened, but it didn't define her, or her flat. She would need a few more days, maybe even a week or two, but she knew now, that she would be able to live here again. It was an extremely comforting thought and it felt like a small victory. She wouldn't let Volker take control over even such a small part of life; he had forced her thoughts and actions for weeks while still alive, he would no longer exert such a power over her in death. She was done with him in every way imaginable.

Lisbon slowly stepped to Jane, placing her hand on his arm. He flinched; he'd been so deeply immersed in his thoughts; he hadn't even heard her coming.

She frowned at him; it almost seemed he was more affected by being in this room than she was.

He cleared his throat. "Did you get everything?"

In response she lifted her bag, "I'm covered for a while." She tightened the grip around his arm. "Let's get out of here." Even though more for his sake, than for hers.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jane asked her, as the cab pulled into the FBI parking lot.

Lisbon opened her seatbelt, startled by his question. "Of course. Why would you ask?"

She saw him shrug, but she had a very good idea what he was thinking.

"Don't worry," she told him, "I don't intend on talking to Sloane. I just would like to be updated on how the investigations are going and Abbott wanted to have a word."

"He didn't say he wanted to talk to you today," Jane countered.

"No, but he also didn't say he didn't want to see me today."

Jane threw a glance at her and she saw him smile.

"No...he probably even expects it - knowing you."

Jane payed the cab driver and they stepped out of the car, walking towards the building. Lisbon rubbed her neck, half regretting that she'd decided against wearing a scarf...but the idea of wrapping something around her neck...even now it made her shudder.

She felt him study her and pushed her hands deep into her pockets, to keep herself from touching the bruises any longer.

"It looks bad, doesn't it?" she asked him quietly. He didn't answer immediately, which in a way was an answer in itself.

But then, to her surprise, a grin flashed across his face. "Well, let's say it this way. After walking into the bullpen like this, with everyone knowing what happened yesterday...believe me, no one in there will ever dare to mess with you."

She hit him on the shoulder, but he still kept chuckling and weirdly enough it made her feel better. They were just bruises she told herself, they weren't any different than the splint on Jane's arm - at least not by much.

The moment they stepped in to the entrance of the building, they were greeted by a familiar voice.

"Lisbon, Jane," Abbott came towards them.

She raised her eyebrows at Jane and he grinned in response.

"I might have sent a text while you were packing your stuff." Lisbon shook her head at him...that much about asking her whether she really wanted to do this - he'd known her answer all along.

With Abbott at her side, she didn't have to register as a visitor at the reception and after Jane had signed in, they all could take the elevator up.

"Can I have a word with you, Lisbon?" Abbot asked her as they reached their floor.

"Sure."

"See you later," Jane murmured, as they parted and she followed Abbott into is office. As she sat down, she could feel his eyes linger at her bruised neck, but only for a moment.

"How are you?"

She'd expected the question, there was just no way around that one, at least not for the next few days.

"I'm fine, thank you," she tried to smile reassuringly, hoping that the topic would be off the table with that.

Abbott looked pleased and she chose the opportunity to inquiry after Sloane.

"Is he still in holding here?"

Abbott made a dismissive movement with his hands. "We'll come to that in a moment. First things first."

He opened the top drawer of his desk and took her badge out, sliding it over the table towards her.

"Your suspension is lifted."

Lisbon's heart hammered loudly in her chest. She reached for the badge, holding it in her hand for a moment, joy rushing through her. She'd expected it, but actually getting it back, holding it in her hand…it affected her much more than she'd thought.

She cleared her throat as she remembered Abbott's presence and clipped the badge to her blouse.

"Thank you."

He shook his head, "It never should have been taken from you." He looked a tad guilty, which he shouldn't. It had never been his intention or his fault.

"I can't give you your service weapon back - yet, not before you've been cleared for active duty, but that's just a formality."

Lisbon nodded, she hadn't expected anything different.

"I know." She drew a deep breath. "When will that be?"

He shrugged, "In a week, when you'll be back from your leave, or in two weeks, what you prefer."

"Leave?" Lisbon asked surprised. "I didn't intend on..."

"Yes you do," Abbott said firmly. "I want you to take a few days off, you more than deserve it after everything that happened."

Lisbon was to stunned to say anything. It also didn't seem as if she had much choice in the matter.

Abbott seemed to sense that she wasn't thrilled by the prospect, because he added in a conciliatory tone, "I don't want to force you, Lisbon. It is of course your choice, but I think it would be for the best." He hesitated, as if unsure whether he crossed a line with his next words.

"I might even be able to spare Jane for a few days if that is of any help to you."

Lisbon felt herself blush, there was only one explanation for this suggestion.

Abbott cleared his throat and gave her a moment to recollect her thoughts.

"Okay," Lisbon finally conceded, "I'll take the next week off."

On second thoughts, there were some things she wanted to do and a weeks of leave might just be what she needed.

"Talking about the investigation...," Lisbon began, trying to move their conversation back into a less personal area.

"Ah yes, "Abbott said, seemingly equally relieved to change the topic. "He's still in holding, but he'll be transferred to jail this afternoon."

He looked at her, "I don't think it's a good idea if you talk to him, but I leave it to you."

Lisbon shook her head slowly, repressing the urge to rub her neck. "No, I don't want to see him. Did he gave you anything useful?"

"Not much, but there was another development. A police guard handed himself in when he learned that Volker had tried to murder you."

So Jane had been right - again - not that it surprised her.

"Problem is, he's still in California and they're not too eager to hand him over to us. It'll take some time to sort all of this out, with Volker being active in at least two states...it's a jurisdictional nightmare." He sighed, "But we'll find a solution, don't worry." He smiled, "We're the FBI after all."

He suddenly started to look for something on his desk. "Before I forget it, we've finally been assigned a replacement for Fischer."

He hold a page out to her. "It's a young woman, fresh from the academy. Which has both it's advantages and disadvantages."

Lisbon looked at the picture and the name. _Michelle Vega._ She handed the file back to Abbott. "I'm sure she'll be great." She hoped Michelle would be able to work with Jane, but then, a young person might be more likely to go along with his crazy plans than a well established agent - remembering how easily Jane had found an accomplice in Wylie when it came to his unorthodox methods.

"She'll start the beginning of next week," he explained, "and maybe it's a good idea if Jane isn't here for that, giving her some time to find her footing before she comes into contact with his rather unusual methods."

Lisbon chuckled, but she couldn't argue against it. It seemed like a good plan for everyone involved. Well, maybe except for Abbott. With her and Jane gone, they would be short stuff for another week, even counting their new team member.

A knock at the door made them both turn around. It was a young woman, Lisbon recognised as being part of the Art Squad. "They're awaiting you in conference room one, " she told Abbott and he nodded, "I'll be there in a minute."

He stood up and Lisbon followed his example.

"That's all for now," he told her, "I wish you a nice holiday."

"Thank you."

She was already at the door, when his voice caught up with her once again. "Lisbon."

She turned around. Abbott had walked around his table, a sincere expression on his face.

"I'm glad to have you back," he hesitated for a moment, seemingly nervous all of a sudden, "I'm proud to call you a member of my team."

Lisbon swallowed, not knowing how to respond.

"Thank you," she finally managed to say, before she almost fled the room.

* * *

Jane sat on his couch, his finger taping against the brown leather. He was slowly becoming impatient - the meeting with Abbott went on longer than he'd anticipated. From the corner of his eyes he saw movement at the other end of the bullpen - finally! It hadn't gone unnoticed that Lisbon had entered. Several agents approached her. She looked flustered by the attention, but knowing her, he could also see that a tiny part of her was pleased too. He grinned as he watched her. She put her hands into her pockets, after she'd caught herself several times trying to hide her bruises on her neck. The attention was becoming too much and he could see that she was looking for a way out. He saw her sigh with relief as she finally managed to shake the others off and made a beeline for their desks.

Wylie beamed at her and Jane grinned again, as the young agent jumped up and hugged her. He saw how she clapped Wylie on the back rather awkwardly and then looked at Cho wearily..but she hadn't need worrying. Cho just nodded appreciatively in her direction and then turned his attention back to his screen.

She met his eyes as she walked towards her desk. For a short moment, she seemed to contemplate whether to sit down, but then she walked on and took a seat besides him on the couch.

"Hey, " he greeted her, still smiling.

"Hey yourself," she leaned her head back, taking a deep breath.

"How did it go with Abbott?" he asked her.

In response she pointed at her badge, which made his smile even wider.

"The badge suits you, Agent Lisbon." He tilted his head, his eyes moving over her hip.

"No gun, " She answered his question before he could even ask. "I'll have to go through a psych evaluation first." Resignation and not annoyance laced voice. It wasn't the first time she had to go through this, well the first time at the FBI but he guessed the procedure wouldn't be to different from what she was used to at the CBI; he was confident that she would pass with flying colours.

"Not before the end of next week though, maybe even the week after that."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why wait that long?" He'd thought she wanted to be done with it as quickly as possible. He knew how eager she was to get back to normality - which for her meant get back to work.

"Abbott wants me to take a few days off," she said grudgingly. Only Lisbon could make that sound as if it was something bad; he grinned again.

"Sounds like a good plan to me." He for once fully agreed with their boss. A few days off would do her good, and not only because it gave her bruised body time to heal.

She glared at him because he dared to side with Abbott.

"Come on, Lisbon. I know you're eager to get back to work, but it won't kill you to relax a few days."

He regretted the wording the moment the words had left his mouth. Lisbon looked pensive for a moment and then said softly, "No, I guess not. I think I could use a few days rest."

He longed to take her hand, but didn't dare doing so in the office. He wasn't sure whether she still wanted to keep their relationship a secret.

"I might visit my brothers for a few days," she suddenly said, taking Jane by surprise. "A change of scenery would do me good and I kind of owe them an explanation, or rather apology. They still think I've been arrested, after all."

"You were arrested," Jane corrected her, trying to hide how unsettled he was by what she'd said. Parting ways with her only a day after almost having lost her, filled him with cold dread.

"You know what I mean," she said exasperateded. She looked at him intently, making him wonder whether something in his expression might have given away his feelings.

Lisbon looked rather shy all of a sudden, biting her lip.

"Abbott might have hinted that he could spare you too." She didn't look at him. "Only if you want of course."

He blinked rapidly, not sure whether he'd understood her correctly.

"You-" he began again, "you want me to come with you to Chicago?"

This time, she met his eyes, "Is that so surprising?"

"No - I mean..." he searched for the right words and then in the end, he opted for the truth. "Maybe a tiny bit."

He saw a frown appear between her eyes, and hastily added, "I'd love to come with you. I just didn't expect it..." He looked around in the office, "I thought you wanted to keep this - us - under wraps a while longer, and traveling together to your family might be kind of a a give-away."

She didn't answer immediately, her hands reaching for the cross around her neck. Jane cursed himself for having mentioned this. If she now changed her mind, he alone was to blame.

"I would very much like it, if you came, " she finally said and Jane felt the tension leave his body.

She smiled at him and then, before he could do anything, she leaned towards him and kissed him softly. He was so shocked by it, that the kiss was already over again, by the time he registered what had happened.

"I don't mind anyone knowing," she sounded a tiny bit nervous, an endearing blush on her cheeks.

The slight clack of a pen falling to the ground reminded them both of the other people in the room. Wylie stared at them, his eyes wide, but the moment Jane looked at him the young agent turned back towards his screen - almost as red as Lisbon was by now. Cho looked at them and just nodded, similar to his reaction when Lisbon had returned. Well, Jane had never presumed that they had fooled Cho, he had probably seen it long before it even had happened.

Jane grinned and he kissed Lisbon, this time taking her by surprise. Her cheeks were burning by now and she pushed him back slightly.

"Don't think we're going to make a habit out of this. The moment I'm officially working again, there won't be any of this in the office."

He still grinned at her and he suspected that she guessed some of the ideas passing through his mind.

"I'm serious, Jane. Don't even think about it."

He stole one more quick kiss before she could push him back again.

"Okay. I'll try to be on my best behaviour from now on." She glared at him, obviously sceptical - and rightly so, but he could also see the hint of a smile.

She leaned back against the couch, looking at her desk.

"Jane..." she frowned, "why is my phone unplugged?"

He knew she wouldn't like the answer.

"Ehm..to keep it quiet."

She looked horrified by that.

"The media somehow got hold of your number," Jane repeated what Cho had told him earlier, "They didn't stop calling and so Wylie pulled the plug."

Lisbon groaned, annoyance and maybe a hint of fear all over her face.

Jane sighed, "Look at the bright side, Lisbon. With your leave you won't have to deal with the media office, at least not until we return..."

"Lisbon, thank god, you're still here." Abbott walked over to them, the relief in his voice unmistakable. "I just got of the phone with Lopez from media affairs. They want to talk to you and I'm afraid it can't wait."

"...or not." Jane finished his sentence, patting her compassionately on the shoulder. Lisbon got up with a sigh. As usual, even thought she must hate what she had to do, she didn't hesitate.

"I'm so sorry, Lisbon," Abbott said, "I'm sure it won't take long."

She just nodded and then turned around to look at him. "How about you book the tickets while I'm gone?" He smiled, knowing what she was trying to do. It would make it impossible to arrange any kind of interviews if they left for Chicago on that day, a press statement would be all they would get.

"Consider it done." He would make sure to get them out of Austin by the evening, no matter the costs. Jane strolled over to Wylie's desk, coaxing the young agent to help him book the tickets. All the while, he couldn't stop smiling. Part of him was slightly anxious about meeting Lisbon's brothers, but more so he just felt extremely happy. Keeping their relationship hidden had been the last thing tainting their new found happiness. Besides, Jane was convinced that a few days away would do Lisbon good and he would make sure to spoil her. Not just for the next week, but for the rest of his life.


	32. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Thank you so much, " Lisbon said sincerely, "I couldn't have managed without you."

Wylie grinned at her. "It was nothing."

Lisbon had a pretty good idea why Wylie hadn't minded helping her move at all. It had a lot to do with the fact, that Vega had joined them as well.

"Your welcome, " Cho said, "and it was in our interest too. If we'd let you do it with Jane alone, you would still be packing boxes on Monday and we can't afford to miss you at work."

Lisbon laughed, "I'm afraid you might be right." She looked around, "Talking of the devil, where is Jane?"

"I've seen him outside a while ago," Vega said with a shrug, "He said he needed a break."

"Typical Jane," Cho commented and Lisbon chuckled.

"Thanks for the Pizza and beer," Wylie said, but Lisbon shook her head.

"It's the least I could do. Thanks again, guys."

She walked them to the door and wished them goodbye.

"See you on Monday," Wylie said in the door, "And tell Jane we said bye."

She smiled at him, "I will, Wylie." She nodded with her head in Vega's direction who was waiting beside her car to give Wylie a lift. "And Wylie...you won't get a better chance."

He stared at her, his cheeks turning red. "What...what do you mean?"

"I'm just saying...," Lisbon replied with a knowing smile - and then added, "Good luck."

She was still smiling as she closed the door behind them. It was very quiet in the house all of a sudden and Lisbon took a deep breath. She walked across the bright and open living room. Most of her stuff was still packed in boxes, but the furniture was standing at its place and that was the most important part. She would have the whole Sunday to sort the rest out.

She brushed with her hand over the new couch she'd bought on Jane's recommendation. It had been his insistence that she'd get a new couch in the first place, that had made her consider to look for a new house. He had tried to hide it, but she had seen the fear in his eyes every time they had sat down in her old living room. For the fraction of a second his eyes had always lingered on the spot where she'd almost lost her life and his whole body had tensed. He just hadn't been able to forget. It was funny how Jane tended to bind memories to locations. She half wondered whether it had something to do with the way he stored memories in his mind palace. Maybe he'd gotten so used to visual reminders, that it was hard for him to turn it off. He never had mentioned anything to her - and probably never would have - but seeing the fear in his eyes again and again had been something she'd struggled with. She couldn't erase the memories, but she at least could make sure that he - and she - wouldn't be reminded of it every day. Jane had been ecstatic as she had mentioned to him that she considered to move. She had pretended not to like the neighbourhood and while she suspected that he had seen through her lie, he never had said anything. Instead, he'd thrown himself into finding her something better whole heartedly. In fact, he'd been the one that found the place she was now standing in.

The glass door leading to the patio was wide ajar and Lisbon smiled as she saw Jane, sitting on a single chair he presumably had carried out for that purpose. She hadn't had a nice garden in her last house and therefore no garden chairs - that was something else she needed to organise.

"Hey," she walked over to him, her hand caressing his arm. He looked up, seemingly surprised to find her alone.

"Where's the rest?"

"They left," she closed her hand around his arm, as he draw her closer to him.

"They did?" He didn't sound particularly sad about it.

"Yeah, it was a long day and we're almost done anyhow. I'll finish the rest tomorrow."

His hand had founds its way under her shirt, laying warm against the skin of her lower back.

"I can help."

She raised her eyebrows, "You mean like you helped today?"

"He!" he said mock-offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, " she said cheekily, and then after a moment added, "On second thought... you were very good in getting us coffee. I have to give you that."

He let go of her and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"So that's how my efforts are appreciated?"

She grinned at him, "Oh, come on Jane." She kissed him on the cheek. "I take it back, you were very helpful. In fact, the whole operation wouldn't have been possible without you."

Considering that he'd been the one to find the place, her words weren't even a lie. And he definitely had been her moral support during the last days. Jane had found a way to calm her or make her smile whenever the stress of organising her relocation along side her work had been too much.

He looked at her sceptically and she tried to keep a straight face.

"Mh...you sure about that?"

She nodded, "Yes, absolutely."

He grinned at her, pulling her close again. "That sounds better."

Lisbon put her right arm around his shoulder, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"It's nice out here," she remarked as she enjoyed the evening sun on her face.

"Yes it is." Jane was looking at her, his eyes shining. It still sometimes took her breath away, seeing him so carefree and happy.

"And it's even better now that you're here too."

She swallowed and looked away first, as the intensity became too much.

"Are you hungry? " she asked him, trying to sound casually, "There's still some left over pizza in the kitchen."

She still struggled sometimes with all the open love and affection between them, after all these years of keeping everything to herself; she was getting better though. He tightened his grip around her and she knew that he understood; he always did.

"No," he said softly, playing with the hem of her t-shirt. He stood up slowly, drawing her closer.

"It's getting late. I might head off soon." She leaned back briskly, so that she could look at him. "What do you mean? Are you not staying?"

"I thought you might wanna spend your first night here alone. Getting acquainted with your new house?" He sounded unusually insecure, something he hadn't in quite a while.

"Of course not," she couldn't believe he had even considered such a thing.

"I want you to stay," she corrected herself, "I mean I would like you to stay."

She saw the smile in his eyes. "Well, then." He kissed her softly on the lips.

She looked at him, feeling nervous herself suddenly. "Now that you mention it-" she bit her lip, "there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

She'd planned to do this weeks ago, but somehow her courage had always failed her.

"Wait here," she instructed him and stepped inside, looking for her purse. She pulled a folded piece of paper out of it - she'd been carrying it around with her since almost a week now. Her heart was beating painfully fast as she returned to Jane and handed it to him wordlessly.

"What's that?" He looked at it intrigued. A frown appeared between his eyes, as he folded it open and began to read. "That's the contract for your house."

She nodded, biting her lip again. "Yeah, it is."

"I thought you signed it weeks ago."

"I did," she avoided looking at him, "but I asked them to set up a new one."

He still seemed confused. She could hardly believe that he still didn't know where this was going.

"Read on," she encouraged him.

She saw the moment he reached the end. His pupils widened for a moment and his head shot up.

"My name is on here, besides yours." He paused, his eyes searching her face, "Why?"

This time, she was sure he knew the answer and she rolled her eyes at him. "What do you think?"

He just looked at her intently and momentarily dread filled her. What if she'd misread the situation, what if he would say no...maybe he wasn't ready, maybe - and that's when she saw the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Relief washed over her and she finally understood what he was doing. He wanted her to say it. She swallowed, feeling nervous again.

"It's such a large house, " she began tentatively, "it seems silly just for me..." She stopped, hoping that he would be satisfied with that.

"And?"

It didn't look like it. The smile on his face was now unmistakable.

"Do you need me to spill it out?" she asked exasperated and his smile turned into a wide grin.

"Yes, that's exactly what I need you to do. No more assumptions or guesswork when it comes to such important matters, dear Teresa. I learned my lessons. You'll have to say it."

She could feel herself blush. "For goods sake, Jane." She took a deep breath. "Fine - do you want to move in with me?"

The grin on his face was almost blinding now.

"There's nothing I would love more." He drew her to him and hugged her fiercely. Lisbon laughed as he even lifted her of the ground.

"You have no idea how much I love you," he murmured into her hair and Lisbon knee's felt weak.

"Yes, I do, " she whispered, "Because I love you just as much."

He loosened his grip and she leaned back in his arms to look at him.

"Well that's lucky, " he said, before he captured her lips with his.

"I'm sorry it took me that long," Lisbon said as they parted a moment later. She'd robbed him of taking on a more prominent role when it came to deciding how their future home would look like.

He just shrugged, leaning in for another kiss, "I don't care."

"No," she pushed him back softly. This discussion was far from being over and she wouldn't let him distract her with kisses, as he usually did when he tried to stop her from arguing - admittedly a rather effective strategy most of the time.

"We should have looked for a house together. I should have listened to what you wanted from a home."

He grinned, "It seems to me that's exactly what we did."

Lisbon shook her head, "We might have looked together, but I made the decision in the end."

"Yeah, but I found the places we looked at."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Meaning I made a preselection before they ever made it to you," he explained, his hands moving slowly up and down her back now.

He kissed her again, before she could reply.

"I think that makes this as much my choice, as it was yours."

Lisbon didn't completely agree with him, but she decided to leave it for the moment. Especially because there was a certain truth to his words.

"If you say so," she took his hand and lead him back inside - into their house. Her heart made a funny little jolt at that thought. She was truly living with Jane now.

"I think I've changed my mind," Jane said into her ear that moment, his warm breath tickling her sensitive skin there. "I think I'm hungry after all."

She grinned as his hands sneaked around her waist, holding her against him.

"Is that so?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure pizza is gonna do it."

She turned around in his arms and kissed him.

"That's better, " he murmured and Lisbon could feel him smile against her lips.

The next moment the piercing ringing of her phone echoed through the room. .

"No..." Jane groaned in frustration, tightening his grip around her. Lisbon still managed to wriggle herself out of his arms and reach for her phone which she'd left on the table.

"It might not even be..." she stopped as she saw the name on the screen.

"Damn it, it's Abbott," she murmured defeated.

"Well," Jane said with a sigh, "I guess it would have been too much to hope for an undisturbed first night in our new house."

Lisbon took the call, while Jane closed the terrace door.

"Got it Boss, we're on our way." She hang up and pocketed her phone.

"We're up," she told Jane, as she grabbed her jacket from a nearby chair, "Classified documents were stolen from a federal building-" She stopped in her tracks as she saw that Jane was still staring outside, his back turned towards her.

"Maybe we'll be lucky and it won't be long, we might be back in only a few hours," she tried to cheer him up.

He turned around and to her astonishment, he was smiling. Which was more than odd - Jane wasn't usually that eager to get to work - unless he had something planned.

"No need to look so worried, " he said with a grin and pecked her on the lips.

"Even I don't manage to cause trouble without even knowing what the case is about."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Lisbon murmured, which made him laugh.

"It just occurred to me how lucky I am."

She looked at him in bewilderment.

"I mean, " he explained himself, "If someone would have told me a few years ago, that I would ever stand in your - in our -living room, kissing you on a Saturday night with nothing more bothering me than the fact that we're called to work..."

He stopped, but there was no need to continue; Lisbon knew exactly what he was trying to say. She reciprocated his smile and his feelings. After a moment she added teasingly, "Does this mean you won't ever complain about work again?"

He just grinned at her, "We'll see." Which meant there definitely would be the occasional complaint in the future and one or the other attempt to cut a case short, or to get them out of the office earlier; not that she minded. On the contrary, she'd learned to appreciate the hours outside of work a lot more in recent weeks.

They made it to her car and Lisbon took her usual place behind the steering wheel.

"Before I forget," Jane said, as she started the engine and pulled out of the driveway. "Now that we're living together, we're still gonna keep the Airstream, aren't we?"

"Why? You don't need it anymore," Lisbon said, even though she was secretly relieved that he intended to keep it. She had gotten very attached to the Airstream, even though she would never admit it to Jane.

"We can use it for week-end getaways if we need a break from the noisy city."

"The house has a garden and a very quiet neighbourhood, what more do you need?" Lisbon countered, trying to hide her smile from him.

"You don't know, maybe we'll hate the new neighbours, or they'll hate us..."

"Not unless you annoy them, " Lisbon replied, no longer trying to stifle her grin.

"Why should I do that?" Jane said, sounding innocent, "I never annoy people." Lisbon snorted and then raised her eyebrows at him "At least not without a good reason," Jane clarified.

Lisbon laughed. Despite it being Saturday evening and despite the fact that she'd had a long and tiring day and was now facing the prospect of having to work through the whole night; she could not have been happier as she bickered with Jane.

* * *

 **A/N:** That's it - it's done. I can hardly believe I really finished it. I definitely wouldn't have managed to do so without all the lovely and encouraging reviews I got - I can't thank you enough for all your support. And my thanks also go to all the people that didn't leave a comment - every read and every time someone followed the story, or added it to their favourites meant the world to me.

I might go over the whole thing again at some point and try to get rid of the many typos and other mistakes that surely are still there. And as I said before, feel free to criticise if you didn't like certain aspects or have any suggestions about how I could improve my writing. I'm always happy to receive constructive criticism.


End file.
